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I never imagined it would go down like this.
Originally, I was going to spend almost three weeks on the road testing. Pro Tour Aether Revolt was my first time working with CFB and Associates, and while it didn't go spectacularly, I wanted to give it a fair shot. Josh Cho and I were chasing Gold and they were a great group of incredibly talented players.
According to AJ Sacher, I've historically done poorly in Limited, but that's nothing a weekend in Madison couldn't cure, right? My plan was to spend nearly a week in Madison, nearly a week in DC at Cho's place, and a week in Nashville before the Pro Tour. I was committed. Being single and having a complete lack of obligations is pretty nice when you decide you want to be a vagabond for a month.
A few weeks before the Pro Tour, I started officially seeing someone, and suddenly I didn't feel the urgency to play Magic for three weeks straight. There was something else in my life that mattered, and the last thing I wanted to do was be apart from her for nearly a month. I chopped a week off my trip, and hoped I could do enough preparation on Magic Online. In the meantime, I focused on real life and being happy.
My relationship with Magic has always been an odd sort of love/hate thing. These days, it's all love, but it also comes with some odd feelings. Would it be the worst thing to do if I didn't hit Gold? Sometimes it's difficult to know if I'm getting enough out of it considering the effort I put in. I wanted to try my best, let fate decide, and figure out where to go from there.
Occasionally, that fear of failure creeps up. It's much easier to bow out on my own terms rather than accept defeat. That was certainly on the table here, and at times, I've considered it. What if I just streamed and made content and didn't compete anymore? Would that be better or no?