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We need to finish the cycle, and much like Unglued, Unhinged, and Unstable, this cycle finishes with a third article.
That's why we're going to be exploring the dark side of Modern. The brew smashers. The fun policers. The smile vanishers. The black holes that consume everything in their path and leave behind nothing but despair.
You know them. You probably don't love them. You've probably played against them, and maybe even embraced their powerful and treacherous ways.
Let's begin with fair warning to turn back now if you have a weak stomach.
Important (and hopefully obvious) disclaimer: Never be mean or rude to anyone for playing a Magic deck you don't like! Don't take out your own frustrations on someone else. It's only game, why you heff to be mad? Enjoying playing whatever deck you want and grant that same privilege to everyone else. In fact, just be nice to people, period.
First I'll start with the Honorable Mentions, because, let's face it, there are plenty of different ridiculous things you can be doing in Modern.
Honorable Mentions For Fun-Destroying Modern Decks
Yup, those are the decks not on the list! Let's dive in and examine the real offenders.
#8 – Death's Shadow
Death's Shadow decks are a combination of being just oppressive enough to be frustrating while still being "fair" enough to create a sense that there's nothing wrong with the deck existing.
What really propels this deck to build up my rage meter and separates it from something like regular Jund or Abzan is specifically the card Death's Shadow. I find the namesake card of the deck to be busted and flat-out exasperating, which is what you would expect from a one-mana 10/10.
Death's Shadow (or in some cases a quick Tasigur, the Golden Fang or Gurmag Angler) following an Inquisition of Kozilek or Thoughtseize, backed up by Stubborn Denial, often leaves you feeling completely helpless. Death's Shadow likes to set the pace of the game and leave you on the back foot: reacting, guessing, crossing your fingers, and praying. You're often at the mercy of what lies on top of your deck to bail you out, and sometimes even that isn't enough.
Death's Shadow decks are mainly a nuisance because they're so powerful and hard to counter. It is a hard deck to play, though, and probably not even an overpowered deck right now, but almost always a frustrating deck to play against.
How to Beat Death's Shadow: Come prepared and practiced. Know what cards they're likely to have against you and have a gameplan. Actually studying Death's Shadow lists and thinking about what cards they'll bring in against you and what's likely in their hand will help a great deal. This is not one of the decks you can beat with one hate card in your sideboard. Death's Shadow is a difficult deck to play against that requires managing your opponent's life total and your own and often requires playing to your outs or following a line of play that doesn't guarantee success.
#7 - Blue Moon
If you squint hard enough, this deck looks pretty much like Splinter Twin did before it was banned. Instead of Splinter Twin and Deceiver Exarch, you're casting Through the Breach into Emrakul, the Aeons Torn. Somehow losing to that is more frustrating than losing to Splinter Twin.
I would also lump Skred Red into this category of "Blood Moon shenanigans." Skred Red is the potentially more punishing deck, considering you can get Blood Mooned right out of the game on Turn 1 from Simian Spirit Guide, but Skred Red is also probably not as good in general.
How to Beat Blue Moon: Be playing with and fetch up basic lands, have a little disruption for their combo, and apply a little pressure. Don't be caught with your pants down to Madcap Experiment into Platinum Emperion post-sideboard.