|
|
Fit The First
We'd All Signed In By Nine
There Were Twelve Rounds To Play
So We Sat At Our Tables
On That Wet Grand Prix Day
With our Decks And Our Dice
Our Protectors And That
When Who Should Walk In
But The Prat With The Mat!
The Prat With The Mat
Took His Place Opposite
He Unpacked His Mat
And He Fiddled With It
He Laid It And Pressed It
Till T'was Perfectly Flat
Then He Pulled Out His Deck
Did The Prat With The Mat
The Prat With The Mat
Tried To Shuffle My Cards
But His Fat Sausage Fingers
Were Making It Hard
He Creased Them, He Bent Them
(Pulled The Sleeves From My Phat!)
And He Sent Them All Sprawling
That Prat With The Mat
This Inept Randomizing
Caught The Judge's Attention
My Strewn Sixty Cards, Now,
Were Causing Dissension!
Players Slipped On My s
Players Slid On My
And A Stray Loxodon
Caused My Neighbour Some Pains
The Prat With The Mat
Got A Game Loss For This
And While I Fetched Cards
The Prat Went For A P*ss
He Returned, Some Time Later,
His Hands Were Still Wet
So He Wiped Them All Over
His Sideboard And Mat
When We Finally Started
The Round (Ten Mins late)
He Mulliganed, Re-Shuffled
And Then Drew Up To Eight!
He Decided To Scoop With
No Need For Game Three
Coz His Sideboard Was Sticky
And Covered In Wee
The Prat With The Mat
Signed His Name In My Place
Ripped The Paper In Two
And Then Fell On His Face
He Puked On My Trades
Then Sat Down On My Hat
And He Did All This Smiling
That Prat With The Mat!
Then I Cried And I Wailed
Then I Sobbed And I Wept
The Prat With The Mat
Said I Wasn't To Fret
He Told Me “I'll Sort It —
Don't Worry And That”
Well, Would You Believe Him?
That Prat With The Mat?
I Watched Very Closely
I Watched As The Prat
Packed Up All His Rubbish
Then Lifted His Mat
And There, Underneath,
About The Size Of A Cat
Was Another Bloke Like Him —
A Second Mat Prat!
The Second One Curtsied
And He Plumped Up My Hat
Then He Pulled From His Jacket
A Third Prat With Mat!
The Third Wiped The Vomit
And Buffed My Trades Clean
As Good As Before
All Near Mint — Pristine!
The Last One Bowed Low
And Conjured Two More
(From His Own Mini-Mat)
They Leapt Onto The Floor
The Result Slip Was Stapled
With A Rat-A-Tat-Tat
Then, From Each, Came Another
Tiny Prat With A Mat
Within One Quarter Hour
(Before The Round Ended)
The Myriad Prats
Had Restored, Taped, And Mended
You'd Never Have Thought,
Only Mins Before, That
My Day Seemed Destroyed
By The Prat With The Mat
“Time!” Called The Judge
The Results They Collected
The Prat And Myself
Were Routinely Inspected
As The Next Round Went Up
I Smiled At The Prat
Then I Left Him Forever
The Prat With The Mat
We Were Sat by Ten-Thirty
With Eleven Rounds To Play
Ready At Our Tables
On That Wet Grand Prix Day
With our Decks And Our Dice
Our Protectors And That...
...When Who Should Explode?!?!
But The Prat With The Mat!
Fit The Second
Crytic and anagramatical clues to recently-released Magic cards — how many can you get? Send your answers to tonyboydell@yahoo.co.uk and you could win some foil Ravnica rares!
Apropos Campanological Performance
Colloquial Tea
[ESC] Chrononauts get less
gasp gasp gasp GASP (
Li, Mother Of Flame
Mental Sump
Tease a fruity cake?
N..A..R..E..?
Devastating, Underworld & Insidious
Hit by the Olsens!
a la Dream Lover
Knave gets sour war joke
Canine Haemorrhoid
Deer has meal
Exposed oneself in a draft
How Crusoe found Friday?
eltsirg
Breathe out (without the beer) and about
Friend to Duane?
A-List, B-List, C-List etc
6-feet under (and cross)
She said 3.30
I doubt a marlin
Funny and clever e-mail
A History Of Rambling?
Janeway? Chakotay? Parris?
U R a penis!
It saves 9
Hieroglyphic Word Game
Risky A.A.A.A
O! Stephen's fist!
Umlantir, Izzet Marquis
British Snack — Bacon-flavoured
Adding-up Time
Comedy situation? Yelp!
Put a flamin' end to it!
English Al
Single parade of...
Yearn for the Latin bear?
Finally, someone has sneaked into the Quiz twice — can you tell me who it is?
Ciao, babies,
TB
-
By Chris Richter
Rules Tip of the Day: If, when combat damage is assigned, all of the creatures that were blocking an attacking creature with trample are no longer in play, then all of the damage from the attacking creature with trample will be... Read more
-
By Mike Flores
On Friday, Mike shared his opinion on the mistakes made during his testing for Pro Tour Charleston. However, it wasn't all bad news at... Read more
-
By Mark Young
You might recall my last turn on the Daily, in which I made lists of various Magic-related things that I thought would be interesting. The positive response to... Read more
-
By Chris Romeo
Fresh off the back of his defeat at the hands of Richard Feldman in the first round of the StarCityGames Battle Royale, Chris takes a budget look at a hardy perennial of Standard: Magnivore. Undercosted and hasty fat monsters... Read more
-
By Dan Paskins
After much cajoling, Dan Paskins (Red Mage Extraordinaire) returns to StarCityGames.com! Today he brings us some sound advice regarding Red spells... when to hold... Read more
-
By Rich Hoaen
In the first of a daily feature, exclusively for our Premium subscribers, Rich Hoaen shares his drafting techniques. Utilizing the excellent DraftCap draft recording software (availiable for download here), Rich shares a draft a... Read more
-
By Chris Richter
Rules Tip of the Day: All permanents have what used to be called 'summoning sickness.' However, only creatures are affected. When a permanent becomes a creature, it will be unable to tap to activate an ability that has the tap... Read more
-
By John F. Rizzo
Last weekend, JFR and Berto headed out to their local Limited Champs tournament, looking to place in the Top 8 and pick up a foil Voidslime. So, how did they do? Re-read the article title, and I'm sure you'll find the answer to that... Read more
-
By JV Noriega
So you’re about to sit down at a Ravnica Block draft table (either physically or as your electronic avatar) and though you have a fair idea of how to draft, what to... Read more
-
By Mark Young
Today, Mark's daily list deals with comics. He presents his Top 5 Comic Books You Might Not Know About... do you agree with his evaluations? Read more
-
By Nick Eisel
With Ravnica Limited finally becoming a little clearer, it's time to dust off our walkthrough shoes and watch Nick go though the paces. In today's informative article, Mr Eisel presents every twist and turn from a successful RGD... Read more
-
By Sean McKeown
With Limited Champs mere hours away, Sean takes a conglomerate pool from the Day 1 undefeated section of Grand Prix Kuala Lumpur. By mixing and matching proven game-winning cards, he runs through a gauntlet of Limited archetypes... Read more
-
By Jay Moldenhauer-Salazar
With Standard Tribal Wars now up and running, JMS takes a look at the Kamigawa-centric Spirit tribe, with particular reference to the Blue and White monsters. The... Read more
-
By Mike Flores
Mike's team, the abovementioned Two-Headed Giant, posted a creditable 9-5 at the recent Pro Tour Charleston, earning them 26th... Read more
-
By Ben Bleiweiss
Did you know that StarCityGames.com has fielded a company softball team this year? It’s true! Our sixteen-man squad has endured early hardships, but we have been improving with every game and now stand on the cusp of victory.... Read more
-
By Lee Sharpe
Ask the Judge, 06/23/2006: Feature Friday
How to Improve Your Rules Knowledge
Feature Friday judge and non-Finnish superstar Lee Sharpe gives you his... Read more
-
By Ted Knutson
Last week, Teddy Card Game came to state the case of Earthquake, singing the praises of the Red board-clearing staple. Thing is, he lost. This week, it's the turn of the mighty Paldin en-Vec... can Ted save this Jitte-weilding... Read more
-
By Ben Bleiweiss
Magic has been an integral part of my life for over a decade. During that time, I’ve kept a book — a book of my poetry. Today, for the first time, I... Read more
-
By The Ferrett
 It's a mixture of topics this week as The Ferrett opens a deck, opines upon his daughter, apologizes for the two wretched articles that got published last week,... Read more
-
By Kyle Sanchez
The Pro Tour Qualifiers for PT Kobe are upon us, and what better way to brush up our RGD Sealed skills than with a tale of success! Kyle Sanchez, half of the South Texas 2HG Champions (the other half being Billy Moreno), recently... Read more
|
StarCityGames.com
5728 Williamson Road
N.W, Roanoke, VA, 24012
Phone: (540) 767-GAME (4263)
Online Customer Support Hours: 10am-6pm EST Mon-Fri;
Store Hours & Info: Check out our Facebook page
Fax: (540) 265-0544
Contact
Us!
All content on this page (c) 2011 StarCityGames and may not
be reproduced whole without
consent.
Refund/Return Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms and Conditions
Magic the Gathering is TM and copyright Wizards of
the Coast, Inc, a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc. All rights reserved.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Upcoming Events
5/26
Saddle Brook, NJ
5/26
Dover, DE
5/26
Newport News, VA
5/26
South Bend, IN
5/27
*ELITE* Grand Prix Anaheim
5/27
Columbus, OH
5/27
Chicago, IL
5/27
Newington, CT
5/28
Aalborg, Denmark
06/02
*SUPER* Ijamsville, MD
06/02
Durham, NC
06/02
Concord, CA
06/02
Buford, GA
06/02
Minneapolis, MN
06/03
Newington, CT
06/03
Baton Rouge, LA
IQ Schedule
Stores/TOs - Host an IQ!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Buy, sell and trade with StarCityGames.com at each of these upcoming events!
05/26/12 - 05/27/12
Nashville, TN
StarCityGames.com Open Series
06/02/12 - 06/03/12
Columbus, OH
at Origins
StarCityGames.com Open Series
06/09/12 - 06/10/12
Worcester, MA
StarCityGames.com Open Series
06/15/12 - 06/17/12
Indianapolis, IN
StarCityGames.com Open Series featuring Invitational
06/23/12 - 06/24/12
Detroit, MI
StarCityGames.com Open Series
06/30/12 - 07/01/12
Seattle, WA
StarCityGames.com Open Series
|
|
|
|
If it's happening in Magic: the Gathering, it's being talked about in our forums! Join, and share your thoughts with the rest of the Magic: the Gathering community!
|
|
- When in southwest Virginia, visit the Star City Game Center!
Star City Game Center
5728 Williamson Rd.
Roanoke, VA 24012
Ph: (540)767-4263
[Info & Pics!]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Please hold while we load your cart...
