What the Ferrett fails to mention, or even note in his ramblings about ill conceived bargains around the multiplayer table, is that I, Neil Carver, the man who supposedly broke all these alliances and caused the Ferrett (known as Bill, back then) to question the sanctity of human life, only broke one alliance with him, and I did it in response to being the victim of at least a half a dozen"odd man out" situations that left my poor White Knights as martyred corpses on the battlefield, overrun (literally) by hordes of elves or big black monsters from sets that came out before I was born.
Y'see, Ferrett introduced me to Magic... and I quickly fell for the game. To this day, I find the fact that six people can play a game together with six decks of cards in which not one player is playing with the same cards that the others are using, except maybe basic lands. That's just brilliant.
Anyway, it was quite soon after I learned"Untap, Upkeep, Draw" that Ferrett taught me the other basic rule in the game... politics. His table talk is legendary (and quite entertaining at times) and I quickly realized that the man knew how to play... not just the game... but people.
He would be kind and friendly while stomping all over Eric, 'cause Eric is a nice guy, and won't get mad if you kill him nicely.
When Jim would become raging pissed at the first sign of a game going against him, Ferrett would become an obsequious little toady, redirecting all of Jim's ire at everyone else.
When Tim would start to get twitchy and focus all attacks on one player who had the audacity to do one little point of damage to him, Ferrett would cackle and laugh and egg Tim on to his own self destruction.
All of this I could handle. The problem was Storn.
Storn played casually, with only a couple of decks, but he hated to lose. He really had no subtlety to his game whatsoever. "Many creatures. Attack.
Kill" That was about it. He also was susceptible and trusting, and believed EVERYTHING Ferrett said. He certainly didn't know the game as well, and when Ferrett made a statement like"Oh my god. Neil just played a White Knight. If someone doesn't kill it, he'll win the game in two turns," Storn believed him - even though Ferrett was the only player with Swamps at the table, and Storn had about a dozen Quirion Sentinels out at the time. One more not-so-subtle comment like"You know, you could take him out if you attack all out, and I won't come after you next turn," and I was dead. It was like Cold War politics, where the US and the Soviets trumped up all kinds of claims about their enemy and sicced client states like Cuba or Greece on their foes without getting their own hands dirty. Storn was the third world country who couldn't see, despite logical rational arguments to the contrary, that by doing Ferrett's dirty work, he was forfeiting his own security, as I was the only person able to keep evil bastard in check.
I realized I only had one chance. I had to destroy Détente. No more fighting through proxies. No more MAD (nuclear parlance for Mutually Assured Destruction) standoffs. I had to teach the table a lesson and undermine Ferrett's power base at the same time. So I waited.
Ferrett would get cocky.
Ferrett would eventually be feeling his oats, and take a stab in my direction.
"Hey Neil..." he would say.
The rest is history already written. Ferrett made a deal, I agreed, then gutted him when he was vulnerable and politely spit on his entrails. Sure, it sent the man into a frenzy of gesticulation and spittle frothed apoplexy (thank god for card protectors), but the real lesson was for the rest of the table. I said nothing to Storn or the others, but the lightbulbs over their heads were blinding.
"Whoa! That could happen to me," was clearly in their eyes. "I could agree to a deal, and then just get hosed. Damn."
You could feel the political shift like a seismic event. Nothing really in my favor... Just OUT of Ferrett's favor, and back to the center.
Y'see, Ferrett will paint me as the villain, but I like to think of myself as simply the messenger. I just opened the minds of the others to the fact that Ferrett might not be the friend he pretends to be.
Possibly he's using you.
Possibly you need to really think before you agree to some kind of deal with the raving madman who wants us to call him by an animal name (and a misspelled one at that.)
I simply did what Ferrett taught me to do... And for one shining moment, the student became the master.
(And then I preceded to get my ass whooped by Bouncing Weasels on a suicide mission for many, many games. But them's the breaks.)
Peace,
Neil Carver
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