I remember the last time they had Nationals in Ottawa. I was twelve, and the tournament fell on the same weekend as a class trip. I didn't like trips and I didn't like my class, so I figured I'd go to Nationals instead. I could be the next Murray Evans.

My mom put a stop to those plans. She thought it was weird of me to skip a class trip, so she made a rule that I wouldn't play Magic that weekend. It was like the circus and the Itchy and Scratchy movie had come to town on the same weekend, but my parents were making me stay home to clean ashes from the fireplace. I was quite crushed.

I spent that weekend refreshing the Sideboard, shocked by the lack of coverage. I complained about this to a newsgroup, and one of the moderators emailed me back. It turned out that online coverage would take a month to appear, because Canadian Nationals would take another month to happen. Apparently I'd read the month wrong.

Six Years Later: day zero

It's my birthday and I come for the Sealed Grinders. I get to the site early. I'm not sure how effective it's been to test Sealed on WorkStation, but I'm usually decent at Sealed so I trust my skills. I feel like I have a leg up on the players who are more used to draft. Canadian Nationals has a really good water-cooler.

The crowd intimidates me, so I drink my water in an empty room across the hall. Some of the cleaning staff kicks me out. I notice that the venue is littered with half-full wine glasses.

Here are the four people I say hi to when I see them:

Jason Wandell: A good source of Kamigawa block advice, and the owner of my usual Magic store. He's here to judge in the grinders.
Matt Lapierre: Perennial FNM winner at Jason's store, and an all-around friendly guy. Once Top 8'ed a PTQ with mono-Green.
Jayden Green: Runs a store in Eastern Ottawa. A brash guy but very nice. Beat me in the 1-3 bracket of my first-ever PTQ.
Cartman: Jeff Szelzki in the Sideboard coverage, and the most entertaining player at Nationals. Once got high school credits from doing co-op work at Jayden's store.

My habit is to draw in Sealed, but I'm not sure if it's the right choice. To pass the time, I walk around asking people. Here are the answers I get.

Should I choose to play first or draw first in Ravnica block sealed?

Guys drinking water: “Play.”
Guys heading outside to smoke: “Play.”
Guy with a Wizards shirt: “We did a study at a Grand Prix a couple years back. Contrary to what most people choose, a little more than half the games went to the player going second. But that was a Constructed GP a few years ago, so I couldn't tell you for this format.”
Jayden: “Always play.”
Jason: “That would depend on your deck.”
Matt: “It depends on your deck.”
Guy wearing an "I don't care" t-shirt: “Play.”
Cartman: “Usually draw. Ottawa people will all say to play, but you should usually draw.”
Cartman's friend: “If you have three Karoos and an aggressive deck, then play. Otherwise, draw.”

Grinder 1 – Building
I take a long time to register the deck I open, and I end up putting it back in a weird order. When I get my actual card pool, I make a list of the highlights.

Assault Zeppelid
Govern the Guildless (foil)
Simic Growth Chamber
Izzet Boilerworks
Rumbling Slum
Wildsize
Boros Garrison
Sunforger
Selesnya Sanctuary
Selesnya Evangel
Galvanic Arc
Keening Banshee
Last Gasp
Vexing Sphinx

The rest of the card pool puts me in UGR, which I hate in Sealed but which seems pretty good for this deck. I'm excited about the great rares I opened. I get a caution for handing in my decklist late.

Round 1
I get a bye for the first round (as does half the tournament), and I offer playtesting to the first guy I see sitting alone - a big guy with tattoos and a crucifix necklace. I win 2-1 and get some feel for my deck. He's running R/G/u, touching White for Azorius Guildmage.

I make a hilariously bad play in the game I lose. The board is my three creatures against his two, with me holding Peel, Riot Spikes, and Wildsize. He's on five life. Somehow I end up Spiking his Ogre Savant and Peeling it after it's declared a blocker. I then have to Wildsize one of my blocked creatures just to save it in combat. I start wondering why exactly I came to these grinders.

My opponent, henceforth known as the Tattoo Guy, says that he's eager for the Constructed grinders and starts talking about Boros Swiftblade. He is one of those people who describes his deck by explaining what the cards do. Swiftblade is good with Jitte because it gets double the counters. Azorius Herald is good because it gains life and it can't be blocked.

I decide I'll board in Sunforger every round. Tattoo Guy talks about how his kids refuse to play against his casual Angel deck, how he moved from Toronto to Renfrew, and how crazy it is that people came from Vancouver just to grind. It's a pretty good conversation.

Round 2
I'm matched up against the "I don't care" guy, a.k.a. Ben Moir. He's a friendly opponent. In the first game we get the exact same start of Izzet Boilerworks and Assault Zeppelid, until a judge comes on the intercom and reminds us not to start yet. We shuffle up; each of us is convinced he would have won that game.

Game 1
In the real game 1, he chooses to play, and then he opens with Frenzied Goblin and Giant Solifuge. His removal limits me to one creature on the board at any given time, and the Goblin's ability makes that creature quite useless. I die fast.

Game 2
I choose to draw and he takes two mulligans. I get a good draw and he gets mana-flooded. He gets me down to six somehow, but my creatures are too big for him.

(Ben complained afterwards that I was lucky to have Rumbling Slum in that game. I was lucky on four or five things in that game, but Slum wasn't really one of them.)

Game 3
He chooses to play, and once again his draw is faster than mine. By the time I'm at seven, I'm pretty sure that I'm running too few creatures. He taps out to Brainspoil my Zeppelid, then attacks with Golgari Rotwurm, three Saprolings, Surveilling Sprite, and Keening Banshee. I have only a 2/2 Gristleback in play, but I have a plan. I tap five and cast Cleansing Beam on his Rotwurm.

A guy at the next table catches my mistake. Gristleback dies before it can block, and Rotwurm, and his two surviving Creatures take me to one. I lose pretty thoroughly.

Afterwards
I'm upset that I threw away the grinder like that. I convince myself I'm a good player with bad nerves. I could be the next Steve Sadin.

I could be Steve Sadin - but I'd still have to bum rides off people.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I think about it and decide I want to keep grinding, because if nothing else it will get me used to high-level play, so I'll be less nervous for next time. A part of me thinks I'd have messed up the Cleansing Beam even if I wasn't nervous. I resolve I'll start to play slower.

I go for lunch at Daron's coffee bar. Daron is a friend of mine who always laughs at my jokes. I don't know the name of the place or if Daron is working today, but I like the idea of hanging around someone who assumes I'm good at Magic.

What I don't realize is that Daron works at an eccentric coffee bar, where they play ambient techno and serve paninis instead of sandwiches. I order the most normal-sounding panini, which today is ham and brie. Daron kindly neglects her work so she can hear my bad beats story.

I head back to the tournament site for their delicious water. Matt is a playing in a Standard Grinder versus a guy I see playing Magic at school a lot.

School guy: I didn't know you played competitive.
Me: I didn't know you played competitive.

They ask how I'm doing and I tell them 0-1, but I say it's easier that way because I don't need to get a Standard deck. I get one suggestion to throw together a bad deck, and another suggestion to borrow School Guy's deck.

I get a third suggestion of "why would I bother grinding?" The third suggestor was me, and everyone seemed to think he had a good point.

Thinking about it now, I was grinding for the thrill of competition - the same reason people go to Nationals in the first place. People buy decks and plane tickets just so they can play here, and only eight of them will break even on the weekend. Magic is an expensive hobby, and the chance to win money is a dangerous hook.

But you know what?
There's a grinder starting.
And I want in.

Grinder 2 – building
I register the deck quickly this time, but I forget to sort it before I hand it in. (I hope in retrospect that whoever got my deck doesn't track me down.)

My second card pool is a lot like my first: U/G/R for the power gold cards, not much from Ravnica. I am playing my favorite card in Sealed (Tidewater Minion) as well as my least favorite card (Viashino Fangtail). And for the fun of it, I splash a Faith's Fetters. My Karoos are all White anyway.

(Separated at birth: Viashino Fangtail and Yosei, the Morning Star.)

Round 1
Instead of posting them, a judge just announces the first-round pairings: sixty-one of us get byes, and six of us have to play. I'm one of the six. I'm playing against Richard.

Game 1
I take a mulligan, and he has removal for all my creatures. Aquastrand Spider deals me a lot of damage in this one.

Game 2
I take two mulligans, and he casts Shielding Plax and Moldervine Cloak on the same creature. I can't get anything to stick before it's too late.

He shows me his deck and it's quite powerful. I wish him luck and tell him to board in Centaur Safeguard. I figure with seventy people, I was bound to lose sooner or later.

Afterwards
I buy a muffin and gripe to Daron some more, and then I watch someone dominate a game with Drooling Groodion. His spectator friend starts telling him a play he missed, so his opponent calls Jason over to shoo the friend off. The friend is ticked off, but the player just shrugs it off and wins. (In the next game, his Groodion dies to Savage Twister, but he Rotwurms his opponent out in extra turns.)

I tell Jason I've been choosing to draw, and he tells me that draws aren't very good in grinders. I hear Jayden telling people that he qualified, and I run into my opponents from the first grinder. Tattoo Guy won round 2 despite a game loss for misregistering. Both he and Ben lost round 3 to being out-drawn.

I go home and watch a bunch of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It's nice not having to look for Hallowed Fountains.

Day 1
I sleep late on Friday and bus downtown at 2:00. After a fruitless stay at the Ottawa U help desk, I get to the site with one round to go in Day 1. People are friendlier today than they were yesterday. I approach Ted Knutson to confirm that no, the coverage team doesn't take volunteers from the street. There are almost no spectators at Nationals. I have a really good view of table 1.

Round 6 - Andrew Noworaj (5-0) versus Michael Di Piano (4-1)
Andrew sat next to me at a grinder yesterday. He told a pretty good story about getting recognized by a childhood classmate.

Game 1
Andrew starts with Tin Street Hooligan and Nullmage Shepherd; Mike with Rakdos Ickspitter and Sandstorm Eidolon. Andrew Thrives to keep his Goblin safe, and the attacking begins. Mike tries to play Galvanic Arc on his Eidolon, but Andrew has Douse in Gloom.

Andrew keeps playing creatures and attacking. His Vulturous Zombie is killed, but he still has a better army than Mike. He clinches things with a well-timed Scatter the Seeds.

They shuffle up for the second game, and I ask if I can cover their match. Andrew asks where I'll post my coverage. Mike says, "Just don't write that I suck at Magic."

I tell him I'll just write that he drew weird cards. Eidolon and Taste for Mayhem were no match for Andrew's fast draw.

Game 2
Neither player looks at his sideboard. Mike chooses to play and mulligans, eventually keeping a two-land hand. Mike is great at shuffling.

If this is a land, I win.
Mike on his third upkeep

It's not a land, go.
Mike in his main phase

Andrew has Aquastrand Spider and Nullmage Shepherd for pressure. Mike draws lands for Ickspitter and a Gatecrasher, but loses both - Gatecrasher dies to Shepherd plus Might of the Nephilim, and Spitter in a trade with Andrew's Spider. This gives Andrew a clear path to play Petrahydrox.

Mike is pretty tired and this point, and he doesn't hide the fact that he expects to lose this one. Judges keep calling people's names on the intercom.

Andrew Noworaj, to the front stage. You get a game loss for being good at Magic.
Mike

Mike plays a Droning Bureaucrats but Andrew has Disembowel. Mike lets out a friendly, "I [really] hate you," and then clarifies. "Actually I don't hate you; I just feel angry because I'm gonna lose."

Skarrgan Skybreaker confirms his prediction.

Afterwards
I watch Cartman wreck a guy with Siege Wurm, putting him at 5-1. He asks me what my record is, and I tell him I went 0-2 in grinders. It's nice for my ego that he thought I'd qualified.

Matt tells me he qualified and he's 3-3 now. He's playing Sea Stompy for the Constructed, and he's glad to be done with his draft deck. I cross Sea Stompy off my list of decks to hate.

I watch Nathon Braymore finish Ben Page in the undefeated bracket. Ben says he's in trouble now, because he's never drafted Coldsnap before. Nathon assures him that drafting Coldsnap isn't very hard.

Nathon Braymore's Three Reasons he's at 6-0:

He chose a deck with a lot of good matchups.
He forced his colors in draft.
He had some good luck.

I head home to watch more Curb and type up my coverage.

Day 2
I arrive later than I expected, thanks mostly to Saturday bus schedules. Luckily the players' meeting takes a while, so I arrive right at the first pick of Coldsnap draft.

Coldsnap Draft
I don't recognize enough of the card art that I can cover anyone's draft up close, but I float around the tables looking for highlights. Here are some highlights.

At the end of pack one, a player at table six has three Mouth of Ronom.
The guy passing to Cartman takes Boreal Centaur over Into the North.
Cartman appears to take Drelnoch over the U/W Snow land. I learned later that it was just a Dark Depths.

Deck construction begins. Duncan McGregor notices right away that the registration sheets have no column for the number of snow lands picked. He is such a good judge. His deck involves Rimescale Dragon; Heidar, Rimewind Master; and Rimefeather Owl somehow.

A guy in a plaid shirt has 4 Skred, 3 Aurochs Herd, and 3 Resize. Jayden shows me four or five Surging Flames. Rich Hoaen has 2 Blizzard Specter and a lot of Frost Raptors. Cartman has three Surging Aether. Matt also has three Surging Aether, but he has almost no creatures - he's forced to run two Sheltering Ancient.

When the players finish building their decks, I track down Andrew Noworaj and ask the three reasons he made 6-0. He will only give me two.

Andrew's "three" reasons he's at 6-0:

"I had a bunch of luck."
"I had enough skill not to screw it up."

I mill around for a while, and I hear Ben Page say something about passing fourth-pick Wrath of God.

Round 7 - Mon Lee (4-2) versus Kris Kavanagh (4-2)
I choose to cover this match because Lee beat Rich Hoaen in draft yesterday. Neither player seems happy to see me hovering, but Kavanagh points out that I'm technically allowed to be there.

Game 1
Lee opens with two Rimebound Dead. Kavanagh plays a Squall Drifter, and the Dead attack him to 13 somehow. Lee's Thermopod is Rune Snagged, and Kavanagh plays out two Sound the Call.

Lee starts Dead-blocking the tokens, and he has Skred for Kavanagh's Jotun Owl Keeper. Kavanagh plays a second Squall Drifter, but Lee one-ups him with Disciple of Tevesh Szat. A Zombie Musher and a Greater Stone Spirit later, Kris Kavanagh starts reaching for his sideboard.

Game 2
Kavanagh starts with Kjeldoran Outrider and Jotun Owl Keeper, and then he has Gelid Shackles for Lee's Chilling Shade. Lee starts taking damage, and the Keeper grows to Bunrei-like proportions. Then Lee gets a Disciple and a Greater Stone Spirit, so Kavanagh lets the Keeper go and plays an Adarkar Valkyrie.

Mon Lee untaps and trades Disciple for the Angel, facing down savage beats from four Owl tokens. Kavanagh has an Aurochs Herd (no search), and Lee kills all the Owl tokens, one by one. At this point he is down to one life and is forced to block with his Disciple.

Both players have some creatures left, including Ursine Flygja and Ronom Hulk (Kavangh), and Disciple #3 and Rimebound Dead (Lee). For something like three turns in a row, Lee topdecks a creature to stay alive. Then the chump-blockers wear out and Kavanagh gets to attack for the final point.

The next table finishes up and their neighbor has to take back Kavanagh's owl tokens (glass beads). The counter-owner thinks and says not to worry, that he can get the beads back through some mutual friends.

Prepared guy: You hang out with them, right?
Mon Lee: I do?
Prepared guy: Don't you?
Mon Lee: Oh yeah...

Game 3
Lee opens with Disciple and Zombie Musher - both Rune Snagged. Kavanagh opens with Squall Drifter and Kjeldoran Outrider, both destroyed. Lee's hand is empty, so Kavanagh plays a second Drifter.

Lee gets a Flametongue Yeti off the top. Kavanagh puts his Drifter in the graveyard, and then shakes his head as he draws a Land. Lee untaps and draws Thermopod, attacking for seven.

The topdecking never ends with this kid.
Kris Kavanagh

Lee asks me to email him my coverage, so he can relive his incredible draws. Kavanagh joins an elite company on Mon Lee's victims list.

Afterwards
Most of the round is finished by now, so I go and watch some Ottawa guys test out their decks. Cartman lost to McGregor's broken deck, but Jayden won pretty easily. Matt has decided to drop from 3-4, rather than kill his limited rating with Sheltering Ancients. He says with a shrug that he threw his deck in the trash.

With ten minutes left in the round, I look over to the play area and see that only one match is still going. A judge says that 50 minutes is too long for triple Coldsnap.

Round 8 - Phil Samms (4-2-1) versus Jeremy Elgar (4-3)
They're seated at table 1, much to Samms' surprise - he spent round 7 at the very last table. The players trade stories about their awful tiebreakers. Samms protests a bit when Elgar wishes him good luck. They are both quite relaxed.

Samms' early drops are Rimewind Taskmage and Frost Raptor, while Elgar opens with Krovikan Mist and Survivor of the Unseen. Samms curves out with Zombie Musher and attacks with his lizardbird. Elgar upkeeps the Survivor and plays his own Taskmage.

They both play a few more creatures and Samms' evasion gets Elgar fairly low on life. Elgar gets Boreal Griffin and Valkyrie, but Samms has a second Taskmage to keep forcing some damage through.

There's one turn where Elgar can trade-block to get Samms down to three snow permanents. Elgar thinks for a long time and just takes the damage, going down to three. Samms confirms his suspicions with a Gutless Ghoul post-combat.

Elgar doesn't have a play, so Samms thinks for a while and taps down Elgar's Taskmage and end of turn. He untaps and taps down Elgar's flyers, and attacks with exactly two more bears than Elgar has blockers.

As they look through their sideboards, both players express some distaste for the format. Samms goes for water (chaperoned by a judge), and in his absence I ask Elgar how he likes his deck. Elgar shows five Krovikan Mists and three Adarkar Windforms, but he claims the deck is better on paper than in practice.

Samms gets back, and the banter is lively as they shuffle up. Elgar tells a Dark Depths story and Samms tells a Josh Bennett story. Hoaen's feature match is done already. A spectator is amazed that table 1 is still going.

Passer-by: Are you guys not done yet?
Samms: Well, we're done a game.
Elgar: Plus we've had a Roman coke break.

Game 2
Samms mulligans. Elgar opens with two Krovikan Mists, Samms with two Rimewind Taskmages. Elgar plays a jump Knight and has the Rune Snag for Samms' Krovikan Whispers. Elgar gets a Unicorn, and Samms gets a Frost Raptor. The Taskmages are useless until Samms draws another snow permanent.

Elgar attacks in and ends up trading his Unicorn and Knight for Samms' Taskmage and Raptor. When Elgar plays a Taskmage of his own, Samms untaps and scoops.

Game 3
Elgar goes back to the sideboard, but Samms leaves his deck intact for now. Elgar mulligans and then peeks at the top cards.

Samms: Who peeks?
Elgar: I know. No good can come of it.

Elgar explains how he hates White in Coldsnap draft, but both players agree that the packs at their table had amazing White. Samms opens with Taskmage and Gutless Ghoul, while Elgar gets out two Krovikan Mists. Samms resolves a Disciple of Tevesh Szat, but his Heidar is Rune Snagged.

Elgar plays out a Survivor of the Unseen, but Samms has a snow land to start his Taskmage antics. Disciple kills Elgar's new Squall Drifter, and then tag-teams with the Taskmage to take out one of the Mists. Samms' second Taskmage is answered by Elgar's Adarkar Windform.

Samms has an enormous turn, Grim Harvesting back Heidar and casting a Musher. Elgar has Adarkar Valkyrie, but with some help from the Taskmages, Samms can force through the last ten damage.

Samms thinks he lucked into a great deck. Elgar explains how he switched into White after getting the Valkyrie. Samms raises my eyebrow when he reveals that he's splashing for Magmatic Core, but I have to trust the draft skills of the guy with eight snow lands. The players wish each other luck and disband for the round.

I go back to the Ottawa tables. It turns out that Cartman beat Di Piano by hitting two ripples on his last-ditch Surging Aether. This is a story Di Piano will tell a lot today.

Ben Moir invites me to play Standard, but I don't have a deck. Then he asks to see my trades, but I didn't bring any trades. Then he asks if I want to draft, but I have only five bucks with me. Ben asks what I'm doing at Nationals, and I tell him I'm writing down what happens. I offer him a turn with my notepad and he declines.

I watch Cartman take down Noworaj with some Green creatures and Resize.

When I Surging Dementia you for five on turn 2, you're usually supposed to lose.
Andrew Noworaj

I learn that Noworaj won his round with the same trick, though.

Round 9 - Cartman versus Francis Cormier
I know Cartman as someone from my Magic crowd at junior high school. The vice-principal would kick us out of the halls at lunch and then we'd play outside and our cards would blow away. I really liked Taunting Elf in those days.

I know Francis Cormier as the guy who beat me a few years later, in the 1-0 bracket of my first PTQ. I'm pretty sure I sideboarded wrong in that match.

They speak in awed tones of Nathon Braymore's double-Sunscour deck. Cartman asks how is Cormier's deck, and Cormier holds out ten fingers on the table. "The number of fingers," he says, "is less than how many Sentinels plus War Crys I have." Cartman doesn't believe him.

Neither player has a die, but they can borrow one from the guy next to me. "You're my idol," Cartman tells the helpful spectator. Over the course of the weekend, I will hear Cartman refer to three people as his idol, and another three as his hero.

Cartman mulligans. He rips a land and says, "Yes, I'm good!" He starts out with Boreal Centaur and Into the North, while Cormier has Ronom Unicorn and Surging Sentinels. The Sentinel ripple reveals three good cards, but no more Sentinels. Cormier has what looks like a mono-White weenie deck.

Cartman plays a Drelnoch, and Francis gets another Sentinel (missing on ripple). Cormier swings in and then uses War Cry to trade his Unicorn for the Drelnoch. On his turn, Cartman plays Frost Raptor and attacks Cormier to 11 with a Centaur. Cormier hits back and plays two more bears.

Both players have bombs on their next turn - Panglacial Wurm for Cartman and Field Marshal for Francis. Cartman gets a second Boreal Centaur, but then Francis gets Shackles for the Wurm.

Francis attacks with some of his first strikers, presumably to stop Cartman from blocking. Cartman just takes the damage, then untaps and declares his attack step. Cormier realizes that he has no snow lands on the board, so Cartman gets to attack with his Wurm.

Cormier blocks with Outrider. And also with the Unicorn. And also with Field Marshal. Cartman says okay and gets a one-for-three trade. It's possible that Cormier thought all three of his blockers had first strike.

Cartman plays a new Drelnoch, to go with his Raptor and two Centaurs. Cormier scoops on his next turn.

Francis sideboards some cards between the games. Cartman flips through his sideboard but decides not to change anything.

Game 2
Francis opens with Outrider. Cartman plays Into the North for a turn 3 Karplusan Strider. With no other use for his mana, Francis blocks the Strider and pumps his Outrider to save. Cartman has Resize to kill it, and then Vexing Sphinx for pressure. On Cormier's turn, all he has is a Martyr of Sands.

Cartman plays a Centaur and attacks for seven. Cormier Shackles the Centaur and plays Jotun Owl Keeper. Cartman Surging Aethers the Keeper at end of turn, with a ripple bouncing the Martyr for good measure. He sacrifices Sphinx to draw two and recover his Resize.

Cartman declares his attack step, and Francis finds himself again without Shackles mana. He takes five and replays some creatures. Cartman keeps playing creatures until Cormier scoops. Both players are at 7-2 now.

Between Rounds
I feel like interviewing someone, but I don't know any players who talk slower than I write. I decide that I'll walk around doing one-question interviews, in the style of Ask the Pros. Since Canada has only one pro, it ends up more like Ask the Top Tables.

Who is your pick to win Nationals?

Nathon Braymore: "Rich Hoaen."
Daniel Kramer: "Either Cormier or Cardin."
Michael Di Piano: "Cormier - Montreal pride!"
Andrew Noworaj: "If he's as good as he thinks he is, King Cartman. Also I wish him good luck."
Francis Cormier: "Cardin if he makes it. Or Braymore."
Phil Samms: "Hopefully me."
Victor Lee: "Maybe Cartman."
Nathaniel Kelly: "Me. I need to 6-0 it."
Rich Hoaen: "I don't know ... Me?"
Matt Lapierre: "Noworaj. He's a big lucksack, and I want to see Ottawa win."
Felix Tse: "I don't care."
Ben Moir: "Either Noworaj, Cartman, or Hoaen."
J. Evan Dean: "Braymore, because he's Superman and he has cancer. It's his dying wish to make another PT. We hope he doesn't croak until Worlds."
Jayden Green: "Me. Why? Because I gave up my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend to be here. So I kind of have to win."
Mauro Bongiovanni (tournament organizer): "I haven't seen the standings."

Round 10 - Nathon Braymore versus Duncan McGregor
Me: Am I good to cover you guys?
McGregor: No.
Me: Is that a serious “no” or a joke “no” …?
McGregor: Well, my opponent just scooped to me.

Round 10 - Andrew Noworaj versus Nick Page
Page has to sort through his deck to turn all the cards right-side-up. Noworaj compliments Page on his "bacon is a vegetable" t-shirt, so Page points out the usefulness of bacon in salad.

Game 1
Noworaj gets a Watchwolf, and then a red Watchwolf (Scab-Clan Mauler). Page Stone Rains a Land and goes to ten, so Noworaj plays another Mauler. Page plays Compulsive Research but can't find anything. The game is over in five minutes.

Andrew takes cards in and out of sleeves to sideboard. He jokes that his deck can transform into Heartbeat and complains about a shirtless guy nearby. A few tables over, I hear Jayden use the words "two hours of sleep."

Game 2
Andrew has Isamaru and a Kami of Ancient Law. Nick has Threads of Disloyalty for the Kami, and then Eye of Nowhere for Andrew's Watchwolf. Nick plays Tidings on turn 5 and Meloku on turn 6. He's still at 11.

Andrew starts alpha-striking. His Bathe in Light is Mana Leaked, but his Volcanic Hammer finishes Meloku after blocks.

Unfortunately, Nick has the Wildfire, putting Andrew down to one land. Two Magnivores made short work of things.

Game 3
Andrew has a slow start of turn 2 Ape, turn 3 Savannah Lions. Nick has Hammer for the Ape and Flectomancer to ward off burn spells. Andrew attacks with the Lions and plays a 3/3 Scab-Clan Mauler.

Nick has Hammer for the Mauler, and then Mana Leak for Andrew's Watchwolf. And then Vore. And then Threads for the Savannah Lion.

Andrew tries to save the Lion with Bathe in Light, but Nick uses to Flectomancer to redirect it to his Vore. A second Vore and a Keiga just made things ugly.

Between Rounds
Phil Samms tells a story beating a Heartbeat player who drew lucky Weird Harvests both games. This story is more impressive when I look at Solar Flare's bad Heartbeat matchup. However, it is less impressive when I figure out that his opponent was Guillaume Cardin running three Weird Harvests. Samms uses the phrase "unreal nice" a lot.

I watch Matt in an RGD side-draft; he seems to have picked up the full 15 Azorius First-Wings. Ben Moir has a confusing time finding a Two-Headed Giant teammate.

Di Piano tells me he's 4-0 in Constructed and asks me to cover him again. I tell him I'll cover him if his table is near the spectator area, but I regret this promise moments later when he says he's playing Owling Mine. We revise our agreement to say that I'll cover his match only if his opponent has Islands.

Round 11 - Cartman versus Andrew Noworaj
A decent crowd shows up for the chance to see two Ottawa guys play off for Top 8. Noworaj rolls 5 on a six-sided die, offering a friendly "beat that." Cartman beats it and chooses to play.

Game 1
Cartman opens with a Sleight of Hand and starts looking at the top two cards.

Andrew: Slow down, here.
Cartman: What?
Andrew: I might have Disrupting Shoal.

Andrew elects not to use his Disrupting Shoal, then starts out with Isamaru and Seal of Fire. His Scab-Clan Mauler is Mana Leaked, and Cartman gets turn 4 Demolish, turn 5 Stone Rain plus Pyroclasm. Andrew's board is down to two lands and a Seal of Fire.

Andrew plays an Isamaru and a Kird Ape, while Cartman refills with Tidings. Noworaj Hammers Cartman to five, with his Seal of Fire on the board. Cartman plays two Compulsive Research, but Andrew has Lightning Helix to finish him off.

I look over to the other tables. Cormier has a board full of tokens, but Braymore is holding him off with Ghost Council and Umezawa's Jitte. Samms and Rahul Chandra are engaged in a dragon-fight.

Game 2
Andrew's turn 1 Isamaru is Hammered, but his turn 2 Watchwolf sticks. And then his turn 3 Paladin En-Vec sticks. Cartman plays two Remands and three Compulsive Researches, but he can only find an Eye of Nowhere to slow the beats. I don't think he was running Steamcore Weird anyway.

There's a weird moment after game 2, where Cartman says he might drop. Before he can get to the match slip, everyone in earshot of the table shouts that he can still make Top 8. He snaps out of things and decides not to drop.

Between Rounds
Samms appears to have Dragon-advantage over Chandra. Cormier has a lot of tokens still, but Braymore is in control with Jitte plus Paladin this time. Jayden is playing a B/W mirror match, where the board is locked with protection creatures on both sides. Ben Goodman is watching a Thief of Hope deck at the bottom tables.

I crane my neck to watch game 3 of Di Piano's Owl versus Mon Lee's B/W. Di Piano gets out Mine and Owl, and then puts Lee under an Exhaustion-lock. Lee admits he hasn't tested versus Owling Mine. Di Piano plays two Sudden Impacts for the win.

Di Piano will tell me later on that B/W is actually a good matchup for Owling Mine. I decide it's time for another poll.

What is the best card in Standard?

Nathon Braymore: "I don't really know Standard. I'll say Jitte."
Francis Cormier: "Remand, followed closely by Wildfire."
Cartman: "Umezawa's Jitte. It makes almost any deck competitive."
Duncan McGregor: "Remand. 'Best' is subjective, but Remand is played in the most decks."
Phil Samms: "Compulsive Research."
Tim Ford: "Wildfire."
Andrew Noworaj: "Dual lands."
Matthew Sun: "Izzet Guildmage, followed by Dark Confidant."
Mon Lee: "That's a tough question.... I'll go with Jitte."
James Hague: "Remand, one thousand percent."
Mike Vasovski: "Sakura-Tribe Scout."
William Turner: "Shining Shoal."
Adam Hurd: "Jitte."
Jeremy Elgar: "Weird Harvest. My real answer is probably Jitte."
Nick Page: "Paladin en-Vec."
Ben Page: "Wildfire."

The ellipses in Mon Lee's answer last almost a whole minute. Nick Page's answer led to a lot of Steamcore Weird jokes.

Samms sings the praises of his Mimeofacture sideboard tech. Cartman asks where I'll send my coverage and starts making fun of a local Magic site. (This grows awkward when the guy next to us turns out to be involved with the site.)

I leave before the final round, because my family's invited for dinner at my friend Nick's house. Nick is the friend who first taught me to play Magic.

That night, I tell Nick Magic stories and ask if he remembers Cartman from junior high. He tells me to get Linux and download anime. We have some delicious chicken curry salad.

Day 3
I take the wrong bus to get to Day 3 and end up in my grandmother's neighborhood. On the way back downtown, Daron and her boyfriend get on my bus. I tell them I've been hanging out at Magic Nationals, and then they tell me they spent yesterday at Canadian DJ Nationals. From what they can tell, it's now cool for girls to wear fedoras.

I get to the site and the Top 8 is walking around not playing Magic. I'm confused so I watch the PTQ, where Di Piano is beating Andrew Noworaj's mom. Di Piano asks if I can cover him in the PTQ. I tell him no and congratulate him on 6-0 in Constructed. It turns out that Cartman's lucky Surging Aether was the only thing that kept him from the Top 8.

Semifinal - Mike Vasovski versus Nathon Braymore
J. Evan Dean walks by. He cheers on Braymore, and then apologizes to Vasovski for cheering for Braymore. I remind him that Braymore is Superman and is dying, and he goes "Oh, yeah" and launches into that story again. A judge invites Dean to leave.

(Note for those friends of Mike Vasovski who started reading the article here: Nathon Braymore is not actually dying.)

Game 1
Vasovski opens with a Scout, Braymore with a Hound. Vasovski plays Coiling Oracle and puts a Simic Growth Chamber into play with his Scout. Braymore just has an Orzhov Basilica for his turn, while Vasovski untaps into two Sakura-Tribe Elders.

Braymore gets a Paladin En-Vec and attacks with Isamaru. Vasovski swings in and loses his Oracle to the Paladin, but he gets to bounce an Elder for Ninja of the Deep Hours. Braymore's Dark Confidant is Remanded, and he's out of Black mana so he plays Hand of Honor. He attacks with some bears.

Vasovski's turn is big: Seshiro the Anointed. He draws two cards from the attack and plays a Patagia Viper on his next turn. Braymore needs a Mortify or at least a Jitte to stay in the game, but doesn't draw either one.

Vasovski is apologetic about the win. "I had a pretty nutty draw."

Game 2
Vasovski glances nervously at the front stage. "Look at these guys," he says. "They have the trophies ready and everything."

Braymore opens with Castigate, choosing Threads of Disloyalty. Vasovski plays and Elder, and then Braymore plays a Confidant. Vasovski passes the turn but has Mana Leak for Braymore's Hand of Honor. He draws another Threads and steals Confidant.

Braymore only has Isamaru for his turn, and Vasovski plays Patagia Viper. Braymore passes the turn again, and Vasovski taps five creatures to play Chord of Calling. He fetches a Coiling Oracle, which fetches him another Coiling Oracle.

On Vasovski's upkeep, the Confidant flips Coat of Arms. Vasovski plays the Coat of Arms and attacks for unreal nice amounts of damage.

(Note: Vasovski's t-shirt has a coat of arms on it. I think about asking if this is intentional.)

Game 3
Braymore opens with Isamaru and Dark Confidant, while Vasovski has a pair of Scouts. Braymore tries 8.5 Tails, but is met with Spell Snare. Vasovski plays an Elder and says go.

Braymore attacks in. Vasovski trade-blocks the Confidant, but Braymore plays a replacement Confidant and a Hand of Honor. Vasovski trumps him with Jitte plus attack, and Braymore ends up trading Confidant #2 for a Scout. On Braymore's turn, however, he's able to Mortify Vasovski's last creature. He attacks in and Vasovski trades the Jitte counters for the Hand.

Vasovski untaps and then taps out for Seshiro, but Braymore has another Mortify. His attack takes Vasovski to 2. Ghost Council of Orzhova drains the last few points.

Game 4
The players speculate about the Cardin/McGregor match behind them. For the fourth straight time, no one has to mulligan.

Braymore has nothing on turns 1 and 2. Vasovski plays a Scout and Mana Leaks Braymore's turn 3 Paladin. Vasovski plays Sosuke's Summons, while Braymore gets on the board with Descendant. Braymore attacks for three on his next turn, before resolving a Paladin and getting a Jitte Spell Snared. On Braymore' end step, Vasovski taps his permanents to Chord for two, finding Coiling Oracle.

Vasovski adds to his army with another Summons, but he's still a bit short on Land. Braymore plays an Isamaru and uses Shizo to force through some damage. Vasovski plays a Jitte, and then Braymore plays a Jitte to kill it, and then Vasovski plays another Jitte.

Braymore gets Vasovski to three from Isamaru/Shizo, but by now Vasovski is collecting Jitte counters and is well out of killing range. Braymore Castigates and Vasovski reveals a lot of good cards. Braymore scoops.

Before the Final
In the PTQ, Di Piano has one card in hand and his opponent has twelve Saprolings in play. Di Piano tries to bluff his opponent out of attacking this turn. I leave before I can see if the bluff succeeded.

Cartman is involved in a Japanese Invasion block draft. Neither he nor his opponent know what Hunting Drake does, so they consult the player next to them. He tells them what it does, and then he admits that he wasn't playing during Invasion block. They take his word for it and resume the game.

All of a sudden, Cartman's opponent jumps up and swears loudly. He runs halfway to the judge table, and then he turns around and runs out the door.

His mom is talking to Jason Ness.
Helpful guy

It turned out that he'd been disqualified from Nationals on Friday, and that his mom had shown up to give the judges a piece of her mind.

If my mom did that, I'm pretty sure I'd kick her ass.
Francis Cormier

Is his mom hot?
Cartman

Everyone wonders for a second if he's coming back, and then they just resume playing and start telling the story to those who missed the incident. Cormier decides to become Cartman's new opponent. The finalists are both walking around reading each other's sideboard lists.

The final and third-place matches start, but both spectator areas are pretty crowded. Sideboard has people watching both games, so I just go home. I'm supposed to be home for dinner anyway.

The next day, Daron has a bunch of people over to her house for video games. I lose at all the video games, but then we play Emperor and I burn the other Emperor for twenty on one turn.

I will give props to everyone who was named in this report, for not minding when I followed them around with a notepad.

Mulligan aggressively,

Brendan
[verdant4ce at hotmail dot com]