How important IS Magic to you? Do you lead a well-balanced life, could you care less about Magic, or are you a completely hopeless Magic junkie? Following is a poll of twenty questions. Add up the totals at the bottom (no cheating!) and determine just how important the Gathering is to you.


1. Have you ever been tempted to name your pets or children after Magic cards?
a. Of course! I've already got a parakeet named Masticore.
b. I've thought about it....
c. No way! Are you nuts?

2. How much money do you spend on Magic cards per week?
a. Five dollars or less.
b. Twenty dollars or less.
c. More than twenty-five dollars.

3. Your friend calls and says his car got towed because he had too many unpaid parking tickets. He asks you for money to get his car, but you've been saving all your money for the PTQ this weekend. You:
a. Bail him out, because you know you're his only hope. There will be other PTQs.
b. Go to the PTQ. He can walk.
c. What is a PTQ? Is that a standardized Magic test or something?

4. You ask a girl out on a Saturday date, and she says no - but that Friday is great. You always play Friday Night Magic with your friends. You:
a. Go out with the new lady. This one is special.
b. Go out with your friends. You might open a foil Undermine in draft!
c. Take your date to play cards, and hope she'll want to see you again.

5. You are married, and have qualified for a PT. You plan to leave tomorrow, but your wife suddenly goes into labor the night before you leave. You:
a. Go to the hospital and stay with her. The miracle of life happens only once!
b. Go to the PT. PTs only happen once!
c. What is a PT? Don't laugh at me!

6. Do you write Magic articles on the Internet?
a. Yes, I've written one or two.
b. Yes, I've written many articles.
c. No, I never write stupid Magic articles.

7. You have fifteen dollars in your pocket, and you haven't eaten all day. There's a draft tournament at your shop tonight. You:
a. Spend your money on the draft. You're feeling lucky tonight.
b. Go to a restaurant and fill your belly.
c. Spend five dollars at Taco Bell, then go to the draft and hope someone has five dollars to lend you.

8. How many "cool" tournament stories do you have?
a. More than ten.
b. Less than five.
c. Who goes to tournaments?

9. How many non-Magic playing friends do you have?
a. Less than three.
b. Three or more.
c. None of my friends play Magic.

10. How many binders and/or boxes of Magic cards do you own?
a. Ten or more.
b. Less than ten.
c. Binders? Boxes? Why would I need those?

11. You're a college student, and you have a final exam tomorrow. You need to study. It is 12:00 a.m. The test is at 10:00 a.m. Your friends call and want a late-night draft. You:
a. Go draft with them. It's an all essay test, so you think you can bull your way through...
b. Go draft with them, but bring your book and notes with you.
c. Tell them no, and cram for the test.

12. How many Magic web sites do you check each day?
a. Six or more.
b. Less than six.
c. There are Magic sites on the Internet?

13. Have you ever fantasized about having a romantic relationship with a Magic character?
a. All the time, baby! Ertai is so incredibly sexy.
b. Uh... well I never thought about it, but now that you mention it, I do think Serra Angel is a hottie.
c. Whatever.

14. When you look for your "soul mate," does he or she have to play Magic to make you happy?
a. Yes, I must have someone that understands me.
b. It would be nice, but not a requirement.
c. What? Do you think I'm a nerd or something?

15. Do you take popular songs and change the lyrics to make them about Magic?
a. Yes, all the time. It is hysterically funny.
b. Yeah, once we had this song we sang at a tournament.
c. Uh... NO.

16. Have you ever imagined yourself as a character in the Magic story line?
a. Yes, I am the tragic hero/comic relief/sex god in the story.
b. Uh, I read one of the books and thought it was OKAY...
c. People write Magic fantasy? People READ Magic fantasy?

17. You buy three booster packs at the local store. You:
a. Rip into them at the register or on the way out the door.
b. Wait until you get home to open them.
c. Who buys boosters? I order boxes!

18. When you build your deck, do you:
a. Match up all of your lands from one expansion (other than Unglued or foil)
b. Play with all foil lands, or all unglued lands
c. Just put whatever lands you can grab in there.

19. You think black-bordered cards are:
a. A must! All "real" Magic players have them.
b. Think they're pretty, but don't really care. A Bird of Paradise is a Bird of Paradise.
c. The borders are different?

20. Do you have a fetish card?
a. Yes! I've got more than 300 Pale Moons.
b. Uh no, but I have favorite cards.
c. Fetish? Isn't that like, a sign of mental illness or something?



Tally those results!
Following is a "point" result for each letter answer for each question.

1. a = 2, b = 3, c = 1
2. a = 1, b = 2, c = 3
3. a = 2, b = 3, c = 1
4. a = 1, b = 3, c = 2
5. a = 2, b = 3, c = 1
6. a = 3, b = 1, c = 2
7. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
8. a = 2, b = 3, c = 1
9. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
10. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
11. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
12. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
13. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
14. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
15. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
16. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
17. a = 2, b = 1, c = 3
18. a = 2, b = 3, c = 1
19. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1
20. a = 3, b = 2, c = 1

Interpret Your Results.
Following is a summary, according to base number value, of how addicted you are to Magic.

If you scored 20 - 30...
Wow. You need to play more Magic. I'm surprised you even read this article. Most people this uninterested in Magic wouldn't waste their time reading on-line articles.

If you scored 31 - 44...
You are a marginally well-adjusted Magic player. You play for fun, for profit, and for competition, but you don't let it dominate or force you to compromise all other aspects of your life, examples being social, financial, or basic needs such as food, drink, and sleep.

If you scored 45 - 60...
You are a cardboard crackhead. You cannot get enough Magic. You live for Magic. You dream about Magic. You console yourself by thinking, "I could kick that guy's butt in a game of Magic" anytime someone pushes you around in the "real world." You, my friend, have no life. But there is a bright side to all of this! You have a cluster of ready-made friends online.


Didn't Get the Results You Wanted, or Expected?
Sorry. :-) This poll is all for fun. It is not a professional poll of any sort. You can always whine at me if it will make you feel better, I suppose. Here's my e-mail: urzaz_mistress@yahoo.com Be sure to include your phone number if you're cute. *woo hoo!*

Hope you had fun taking the poll! I had fun creating it.