We all know you read Part 1 of my Planar Chaos Guide and Part 2 quickly made me your new instant favorite author on the new StarCityGames.com. You know, besides Tiago Chan, Nick Eisel, Evan Erwin, Richard Feldman, The Ferrett, Mike Flores, Zac Hill, Peter Jahn, Craig Jones, Talen Lee, Raphael Levy, Sean McKeown, Stephen Menendian, Benjamin Peebles-Mundy, Jeroen Remie, Chris Romeo, Abe Sargent, Josh Silvestri, Bennie Smith, Rivien Swanson, Jeff Till, Jamie Wakefield, or Mark Young. That puts me firmly above the Craig Stevenson on the StarCityGames.com popularity scale, and that's only because he hasn't written his first new column yet!

Enough of that. We've got a lot of Planar Chaos to get through, and everyone knows that you can never have too much of the Ben Bleiweiss – especially, since according to one of the guys I played against for my Build ing On A Budget column on MagictheGathering.com, I'm “that fat guy who writes for MTG.com, right?”.

That was before I beat his U/W/B Tron deck with my budget Rakdos deck.

Saltblast
I'm flagging this one as one of the underrated cards in the set. Creeping Mold is playable at times, and so was Desert Twister. This is somewhere between the two, and White doesn't get direct removal often, especially when it can be thrown at non-creatures.

Would I want to pay five mana for a Sorcery-speed Dark Banishing? No.
Would I want to pay five mana for a Sorcery-speed Disenchant? No.
Would I want to pay five mana for a Socery-speed Stone Rain? No.
Would I pay five-mana to make Vindicate mono-colored with a slight drawback? Sure, if the circumstances called for it!

Don't get me wrong – I'm note saying that Saltblast is the second coming. I am saying that it has a role somewhere, and it shouldn't be forgotten or discounted entirely.

Saltfield Recluse
The question is: What do you get when Ghosts of the Damned mates with Pradesh Gypsies?

Heck, let's take a serious look at the difference between the three. Ghosts of the Damned came out of Legends, as did Pradesh Gypsies.
Ghosts: BB1, 0/2. Tap: Target creature gets -1/-0 until end of turn.
Gypsies: G2, 1/1. G2, Tap: Target creatures gets -2/-0 until end of turn.

Saltfield Recluse gets +1/+0 over Ghosts of the Damned or +0/+1 over Pradesh Gypsies, and has less color-specific mana requirements than the Ghosts. Saltfield Recluse gives the same penalty to creatures as the Gypsies, but at no mana cost – which is the same activation cost as the Ghosts, but at twice the effect.

If you ever needed proof that there's a definite power creep in Magic, and the world is coming to and end, and you MUST BAN CARDS NOW!

Seal of Primordium
It's Seal of Cleansing, except in Green, which is Naturalize, except as an enchantment, except as Disenchant, which is now back along with Return to Dust, which is slower than Krosan Grip but quadruply as effective as Ronom Unicorn, which is no Wild Mongrel which is better than Grizzly Bears, who roomed with Kevin Bacon.

Serendib Sorcerer
Timeshifted Sorceress Queen. Much like the original, it can't target itself. This might be decent in the way that Vedalken Shackles was decent, but not quite as good – a three-drop that Blue can use to neutralize creatures it might not otherwise be able to neutralize. For instance, would you want to run this against Glare? It definitely takes an edge off of Spectral Force, Groundbreaker or Timbermare. Again, not a deal-breakingly good card, but one that deserve a sideboard slot somewhere.

Serra Sphinx
There are those who see a place for Serra Sphinx. Look people, Serra Angel has been legal for how long, and nobody is playing it? It's not like people couldn't fit Serra Angel into their decks if they really wanted a 4/4 flyer that doesn't tap to attack – dual lands, shock lands and bounce lands are everywhere, and there are sketchier color stretches than going double-White in a Blue/White, Green/White or Black/White deck. Black/Blue has much better choices (Teferi, a pair of Vampires, Jodah's Avenger), Green/Blue has better choices (are you going to play this over Spectral Force, Simic Sky Swallower, or other beefy Green/Blue creatures), and Red/Blue has better choices (like creatures which survive Wildfire). Again, if you're playing White/Blue, why aren't you already playing Serra Angel?

That's right – because it stinks.

Serra's Boon
Much like Holy Strength was the ass-end of Unholy Strength, Serra's Boon is the ass-end of Phyrexian Boon. Doesn't boost your guys enough, doesn't kill their guys enough.

Shade of Trokair
Compare this to Windreaver, which is currently seeing close-to-no play. Windreaver is more versatile, harder to kill, and Windreaver can hit harder, faster. Shade of Trokair looks nifty, but in the end it's a Dungeon Shade with suspend, and Dungeon Shade doesn't get me excited.

Shaper Parasite
I've played a handful of matches Time Spiral Block Constructed in the Magic Online tournament practice room. So far, 100% of the opponent's I've faced have been playing a Black/Blue Teferi / Vesuvan Shapeshifter / Brine Elemental / Shaper Parasite / Fathom Seer deck of some sort or another. This also includes my own deck, which I developed independently. I hope that Planar Chaos introduces some innovation into this format, because so far testing with just Time Spiral has been tres boring.

Shivan Meteor
From Wikipedia:
“Triskaidekaphobia is a fear of the number 13. It is usually considered to be a superstition. A specific fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia or friggatriskaidekaphobia.”

When you play this on your opponent, and he / she complains, just look them in the eye and say “Why are you such a Triskaidekaphobic?”

Shivan Wumpus
There was a lot of discussion earlier this week in Mark Young's article “The Beautiful Struggle - Brow Beaten” about why Punisher cards look good on the surface, but end up being the bum deal. Shivan Wumpus is, in effect, a punisher creature – either your opponent lets you have a 6/6 trampler, or your opponent gets to select a land to self-Stone Rain. Technically, you can select to Stone-Rain yourself, if for some reason you want to put Shivan Wumpus on the top of your deck (such as if you have Pandemonium in play, since Shivan Wumpus technically comes into play and then triggers). Most of the time, you get the result you want less, since your opponent chooses (although sometimes your opponent will make the wrong choice). Either way, there are lots of big beefy creatures in Standard right now that don't have this sort of option comes-into-play ability, so I'd suggest avoiding this Wumpus.

Shrouded Lore
Another card that is going to be overlooked early, since recent iterations of the Regrowth effect (Recollect in particular) have been less than impressive. Forgotten Lore was played back in the day, and Shrouded Lore is in a color that is more combo-friendly. In fact, I would go so far as to put this on the Vintage-playable list – first turn Lotus, Shrouded Lore my Lotus, anybody?

Simian Spirit Guide
Remember kids – removing this from the game to add R to your mana pool is not playing a spell, so it does not up your storm count. You hear it here fourth!

Sinew Sliver
Should have been named Justice Sliver.

Skirk Shaman
So this is what Skirk Cameron has been up to recently!

*Ba-da-dum*

Sophic Centaur
Should have been named Rob Hahn Centaur.

Does anyone click on all these link I provide? You really should – there's lots of good reading there! Click away, and then come back here today.

Spellshift
This wins the “ass-end of the combo-stick” award for Planar Chaos. Next!

Spitting Sliver
Spitting Drake has one-shot Firebreathing. Spitting Earth deals damage to a creature equal to the number of Mountains you control. Spitting Spider sacrifices lands in exchange for dealing damage to flyers. Spitting Gourna can block flyers. Spitting Hydra does damage to creatures in exchange for +1/+1 counters. So, from a mechanical standpoint, Spitting Sliver has the most in common with Spitting Slug, from The Dark / Time Spiral.

On Ben's math scale, three mana gets you +2/+2 between this and Talon Sliver.

Stingscourger
If only Stingscourger could bounce your own creatures – then it'd be on the high end of playable. Unfortunately, it can only hit opposing creatures, making it a dead card against most combo decks. It's still going to be played, but I don't get the “Red can bounce opposing creatures” mechanic. Dude, if Stronghold Taskmaster couldn't whip people back to an opponent's hand, what makes you think that Squee on Absinthe holding a Tidy-Bol Mop is going to instill enough fear to make me run away?

Stonecloaker
Imagine for a second that you had the following spell:

W2, Instant.
Remove target card in a graveyard from the game.
Buyback: 0

Would this card see play? The answer is yes – it's a good, repeatable way to hose graveyard recursion strategies. Now add in the 3/2, flying body. It means that you can swap out smaller creatures to pay three mana for a 3/2 flyer. Of the White rescue creatures, I'd say this one is the best – it has an effect that would be used off the sideboard without being a creature, and might actually be a little worse because it can be killed.

Stormfront Riders
Cue music from The Doors.

Sulfur Elemental
My favorite cards in sets aren't the big, obvious gamebreakers that get out there and fight – it's the smaller, workhorse guys who might fill a niche, or tip a deck just the little bit it needs to become a half-tier higher. Sulfur Elemental is one of those cards. Again, let's read it a little differently than printed.

Sulfur Elemental, 3/2.
Flash
Sulfur Elemental cannot be countered.
White creatures get +1/-1.

See, when you take out “Split Second” and add in “Cannot be countered”, it looks a lot better, right? Three mana for a 3/2 creature with three usable special abilities (and the off-chance to hose Soltari Priest, Weathered Wayfarer, Savannah Lions, Icatian Javelineers, Decree of Justice tokens, Raise the Alarm tokens, or other white flotsam) seems good. Get two on the board, and everyone's dead in White Weenie. This guy seems awfully solid to me.

Sunlance
If I were to make a list of the top 50 cards that, for one reason or another, had potential but never lived up to it, I'd give a lot of consideration to Strafe. Unfortunately, Strafe showed up at a time where Flametongue Kavu, Blastoderm, and Psychatog were all running the roost – and if not them, then little Red men. Sunlance has more versatility than Strafe, since traditionally there are fewer White weenies you want to kill then Red weenies. However, with the advent of Boros, Ghazi-Glare, White Weenie, and Black/White control, a lot of these guys are either Sunlance-proof or larger than three toughness. It'll get played, but it's not as good as Red removal such as Shock or Seal of Fire.

Synchronous Sliver
The more I think about it, the more it bothers me that Blue gets Vigilance. In my first Real Deal column, I wrote that you could basically rationalize any ability to any color. I would like to be irrational though, and ignore that Blue has (or has had in the past) any vigilance guys. Therefore, Synchronous Sliver now reads as follows:

U4, Creature – Sliver
3/3

Fixed!

Temporal Extortion
Bob: Psst, hey guy?
Danny: Huh, me?
Bob: Yeah you, with the face.
Danny: That must be me! *Walks over*
Bob: Give me your watch, or I'll tell your wife about…you know what!
Danny: OH MY GOD! You have pictures?
Bob: Hoo boy, do I! And I gotta say, that's a lot of tubing….
Danny: *Hands over his watch, sobbing* I'll miss you, Mr. Watch! *Runs away, head in arm*
Bob: *Puts on watch* Heh Heh Heh. Sucker.

The above performance for Magicpiece Theatre is a preview of the “Temporal Blackmail” sketch, coming soon to a Future Sight near you.

Teneb, the Harvester
The first thing you should know about Teneb is that he comes in the Rituals of Rebirth Planar Chaos theme deck. You also get Jedit, Wall of Roots, triple Dread Return, Spike Feeder, and double Harmonize in that Theme deck. It's one of the better buys for a theme deck in a while – very little filler in the deck compared to other theme decks. The second thing you should know about Teneb is that he's a natural fit in Reanimator, since he can bring back other bad boys once he hits. Previous Reanimator decks ran Crosis as their dragon, due to his on-color activation (Persecute). Chances are you're sending multiple creatures to the bin at once with Teneb, so at worst he's going to be a Juganator without the need to have only one creature out.

Tidewalker
I wholeheartedly approve of the design of this card. Is it playable? Well, Rusting Golem started seeing play in Masques Block Constructed, and this has the potential to be bigger (and cheaper) than Rusting Golem. I don't think it'd be unreasonable to play this on turn 5 as a 5/5 and have Counterspell backup, or to play it as a Trained Armodon on turn 3 to stop the bleeding. Again, not the flashiest, but again, don't discount it entirely.

Timbermare

Timebender
Not to be confused with Bender from Futurama, who could not bend time… yet.

Timecrafting
Of all the “Speed up Suspend” cards printed yet, Timecrafting seems to show the most promise. Fury Charm is technically more efficient (two mana for two counters), but Timecrafting can allow for some pretty sick plays, such as “Wheel of Fortune at the end of your turn” or “Ancestral Recall at the end of your turn.” I particularly like it in conjunction with Wheel of Fate, since it makes Wheel of Fate more reliable, and more of a fixture in a Red-based Storm deck for Standard – no more having an opponent unload their hand to dodge Ignite Memories!

Torchling
Is Torchling the new Morphling? The Ferrett and I debated this back and forth via e-mail, as this was his second preview card on MagicTheGathering.com. He argued that it was barely playable, whereas I thought it could be a real contender for Constructed play. Objectively, the two cards are identical in three ways: they are 3/3s for 5, they have 1: +1/-1 and they have 1: -1/+1. They are closely related in two other ways: both are two color-specific and three generic mana to cast (UU3 versus RR3), and both have the Colored: Untap ~this~ ability (R versus U). So on those counts, I'd consider the two even – Morphling was a product of being the right finisher in the right colors at the right time, but colored requirements outside of a context aren't deal breakers. It comes down to the last two abilities:

Morphling: U (Can't be the target of spells or effects) and U (Flying)

Versus

Torchling: R (Redirect a spell targeting only Torchling) and R (Provoke without the untap)

Morphling had evasion, whereas Torchling does not. Morphling could be outright unkillable, whereas Torchling can be killed if there are no targets to redirect spells to. On the other hand, people often had to burn 2-3 removal spells to try to kill Morphling. If the first two were redirected to kill an opponent's creature (or to make them burn themselves), this is superior to Morphling. Not superior when you want to avoid Terror and there's no other creatures in play. Superior when you want to flop around multiple burn spells. Inferior when you need to deal with effects (Torchling only redirects spells).

As far as Flying versus pseudo-provoke, both have their uses. Morphling could fly over an opponent's head, and then play defense. One common tactic was for the player facing down Morphling to slowly build forces, and then send all their guys in at once. Torchling can start picking off opposing creatures each and every turn, until the board is clear. Again, different uses, and while evasion is better, lure is not without merit when it's this selective.

As one final note, let's pull back into talk about environment. There was no Seething Song for Blue when Morphling was around. There is for Torchling.

Treacherous Urge
Much like Phthisis, this is an overpriced Black spell that is oodles of fun to play with when you get it to work in the right situation, but that costs too much to reasonably see a lot of tournament play. At the worst, it's the world's most expensive instant-speed Ostracize!

Uktabi Drake
Since we all know that the Uktabi region is the home of the horniest critters in Magic, I wish at least some Uktabi card in this block would pay homage to that fact!

Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
So far, there have been six Legendary Lands in Time Spiral block. They are Academy Ruins (good), Flagstones of Trokair (excellent), Gemstone Caverns (situationally modest), Kher Keep (not-so-good), Pendelhaven (good), and Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth (quite good). This is a great mana-fixer. The first one is a Swamp. The second one is a self-imposed Rain of Salt. Oops! Doesn't work as well as Flagstones in multiples, does it? Well, I don't think that matters when you're turning Cabal Coffers into Swamps, Tainted Isles into Swamps, and Swamps into Swamps, much less Urborg into a Swamp. Swamps for everyone!

In addition, it also turns all of your opponent's lands into Swamps. This is relevant for Filth (Extended), Funeral Charm, Mire Boa, and potentially Sol'Kanar the Swamp King. It's also fun for giggles with Crusading Knight, Dross Golem, Karma, Spreading Algae, and Stern Judge.

Utopia Vow
“I do solemnly swear to have fat creatures that are too expensive to cast before I'm dead.
I do pledge to put creatures enchantments on my creatures so I can get two-for-oned eternally.
I promise to have a lot of 1/1 mana producing Elves wiped out by a single Pyroclasm.
I declare my intent to have enchantment removal when my opponent has creatures, and a lack of Naturalize when my opponent has enchantments or artifacts.
This is my Utopia Vow.” – Jamie Wakefield, Earl of Leafe

Vampiric Link
Not much to say here other than to restate that Spirit Link belongs in Black, not White. White doesn't suck the life-essence out of others to take it for themselves. Try justifying Lightning Helix some time from a flavor perspective. “Yeah, you see, it burns real hot, turns their lungs into tar, and then makes me feel like new!”

Vexing Oddity
The basis of every Seinfeld plot.

Venarian Glimmer
Usable instant-speed discard. People are already starting to pick up on this, so let's see how it does.

Vitaspore Thallid
They are millions strong, and growing.

Voidstone Gargoyle
I was going to write about this card, but then my cranium exploded. Next!

Volcano Hellion
Is this the new Flametongue Kavu? Well, chances are you won't keep him in play past the turn he kills a guy (and then plays blocker for a turn), but sometimes he will stay in play (especially against decks that don't pack direct damage), he deals well with non-Akroma (the White one) reanimated creatures, and he's an instant-kill with Stuffy Doll, as long as you're up in life on your opponent. I'm not a fan, but I'd be remiss if I didn't point out at least some of his uses.

Vorosh, the Hunter
Ah, the Juganator. The big, dumb Green guy in a cycle of otherwise exciting or noteworthy creatures. Stone Rain is exciting. Mind's Desire is exciting. Zombify is exciting. Pyroclasm on crack is exciting. Solarion? Not so exciting. I mean seriously, this guy is just plain boring compared to the other dragons. Once again, Green gets the ass-end of a creature cycle. Bounteous Kirin. Myojin of Life's Web. The Juganator himself. In the forums of my first article, we brainstormed a whole both of more interesting ideas for this guy. They included:

1) Search your library for a Green creature with combined Power/Toughness X or less, and put it into play.
2) Turn X (up to 6?) of your lands into 2/2 or 3/3 creatures, permanently.
3) Search your library for 6 lands (basic lands) and put them into play (tapped or otherwise).
4) Pay G2 to have it deal 6 damage to all players and flyers (kills itself, but deals 12 immediately – 6 on the hit, and 6 on the activation)
5) Untap all permanents you control (Seedborn Muse effect)
6) Natural Order effect (put a creature into play from your hand) (teh_Gio)
7) Gain X (6+) Life (Talen Lee)
8) Reveal X cards from the top of your library and put all creatures in your hand (Greyice)
9) Gain 1 life for every land in play, or 2 life for every creature in play (Greyice)
10) Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Gain life = their mana cost. (Greyice)
11) Destroy all artifacts and enchantments in play.

Heck, even being able to put 6 +1/+1 counters distributed however you like when it hits would have been better than just doubling Vorosh's size. I'd rather have a 6/6 Dragon (that's already hit) with a pair of 4/4 Llanowar Elves (for defense that turn, or to swing the next turn) with the option of instead having a 12/12 dragon, then being forced into this Juganator.

This leads directly into my article for next week, but I'll talk more about that… next week *Cue the ominous music*

Waning Wurm
I so want to make a phallus joke here, but both Pete and Craig won't let me.

Whitemane Lion
The most racist animal in the zoo.

Wild Pair
This is a card that is starting to get some attention as well, because people realize you can Scryb Ranger a Draining Whelk into play, or do other similarly stupid things on your own turn. I think it probably costs too much (mana) to see tier-one play, but this will be a darling of casual players for years to come. I fully plan on tinkering with Wild Pair for Building on a Budget the second Planar Chaos becomes Magic Online legal.

Wistful Thinking
I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere, but I'll say it: Urza's Guilt. Good! I'm glad that's out of my system!

I hope you enjoyed my set review for Planar Chaos! As always, please feel free to make comments, suggestions, or criticisms (as long as you keep them respectful) to these forums. See you next week, when I talk about something that's been on my mind for quite a long time, and that will be of great interest to at least one-fifth of the Magic population.

...

Ben's Corner:
Not a whole lot to report on this week, as far as new products go. We just restocked a few pieces of power, but due to the release of Planar Chaos and a bout of the Flu in the office, we've been slightly understaffed and so I haven't had time to enter in a lot of new products to the system. However, I did start getting in foils today (clearing a good number of alerts – if you're looking for a card and we're out of stock, don't be shy about using the “notify me when this is back in stock” button – it works!), and tomorrow I plan on entering in as many cards as I can humanly lay my hands on. Right now, we have close to 20,000 (yes, you read that right) cards that have been accumulated off our buy list (so they are all good cards) that are waiting to be entered, so expect every single tournament-playable card from Standard, Extended, Legacy and Vintage to be restocked within the next day or so.

Until next week, you stay classy, San Diego!

Ben Bleiweiss