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I'm a moron.
I'm sitting here wondering what I'm going to write about this week because all of my notes are on my computer. My already-started article is in a UPS warehouse in Pennsylvania about to board a plane for Spain. And, me, being the genius that I am, didn't copy my article onto my 1 gig Sandisk Cruzer USB memory stick. As the Guinness guys say — “Brilliant!”
To top that off, I call Wendy to chat and we start talking about my day and I fill her in on my shipping adventures at the UPS store, and we get to the part about me having a choice between it arriving in two months or two days. No other options. So I took the two days.
“But I'm not going to be here in 2 days. I'll be in Florida with you.”
“I know, but you said they'll hold it at the post office for 15 days.”
“But you shipped it out of the UPS store. Not the postal service.”
“...”
“I think UPS will try to deliver it for three days and then it gets shipped back to the States.”
“...”
“...”
“I'll call John. He'll know what to do.”
John is my older brother. Wow, I don't know if he has ever even been mentioned in these articles before. He's three years older than me, and was a star athlete in High School while I was only average. He's married, has two kids, and thankfully — relevantly — he works for UPS. He started out at as a driver but since he has Masters in business, he worked his way up to being high mucky muck somewhere in NH.
I call him, and he assures me he'll take care of it.
Whew.
I also have a younger sister Molly, who is just thrilled to death I'm going to Spain. Thrilled. Not.
“Hey, I have a computer question for you.”
“Okay.”
“I need to back up my dog inventory program to synchronize between home and work, what should I use?”
“Get a USB stick. Best way to do it. Fastest too. “
“Okay, cool. Maybe you can show me how to use it before you ride off on your white f***ing horse.”
Ouch.
We're cool. Don't worry. She doesn't want me to go, but understands why I am... but that doesn't make me immune to her giving me crap for it.
So... what am I going to write about?
Green, of course!
It seemed to be the hot topic last week in a number of articles, and I feel I should weigh in. I am Martin Luther Green after all.
One of the major problems I see with Green is the fact that Elves have rarely-slash-never been competitive. Goblins, on the other hand, have almost always been competitive since the game's inception. I think this has a lot to do with some design decisions that baffle me. Look at Kamigawa block. Red got more Goblins, but Green didn't get Elves... we got Snakes. And some really nice Snakes too. Beatings for Snakes.
One of my favorite spells of all time is Sosuke's Summons. One of the best Green creatures ever printed is Seshiro. Combine those two and you have a game-winning turn. All your guys get fat and draw you cards. And Blue can only counter the Summons so many times. It just keeps coming back to your hand. Relentless and overwhelming. That should be the flavor of Green.
Now ask yourself how powerful Elves would be, if those spells had been Elves instead of Snakes? Make Sosuke an Elf. How good would Green be if every time you cast a copy of Llanowar Elves, you got Sosuke's Summons back? How good would Sosuke be with cards like Silhana Ledgewalker, Viridian Shaman, and Elvish Champion?
Really really good. And not just “attack and block” good, but “tricksy and overwhelming and utility and card drawing” good.
The same thing happened in Onslaught Block. Red got some amazing, busted, format-defining Goblins, and Green got.... Beasts? Beasts? Are you kidding me?
How about Ravenous Elf. Sac an Elf, gain four life. If that's too powerful, make it sac an Elf, gain life equal to its power.
How about Elf Attack? Put a 4/4 Elf Warrior into play at instant speed. And get Sosuke's Summons back. Change everything on Krosan Warchief into Elven Warchief and it's a good card. Change Beast to Elf in Wirewood Savage and you have real power. “Card drawing, recover from Wrath of God” power. Not just “attack and block” power.
Now don't get me wrong, I like attack and block. I'm a simple man. When I play Dungeons and Dragons, I like the Monty Hall campaigns a lot more than I like an intricate lovely storyline. I like leveling up and fighting tougher, fearsome beasts more than I like knowing why the baker in Smallshire likes the north shores of Catalindo. I like powerful weapons and smashing in faces.
I'm quite happy to swing with Dryad Sophisticate and Might of Oaks it. I can do that for days on end. So don't think I'm complaining when I say this, but -
“When is Green going to get more depth?”
It's been a problem for years. Its been brought up on this site for years. Its been brought up at meetings with Wizards and the players. And nothing seems to get done. Which isn't to say that Green isn't being improved. It very much is in the power level. Green is winning Standard PE's right now. And once Planar Chaos comes in, I would guess that it will be the most face-smashingly effective color in Standard.
But that doesn't mean Green is getting more depth or more defined. It's just really good at the one thing that Green does, and that's attack. And for that, I am very grateful.
But, like a lot of writers last week, there are still some improvements that could be made to make Green a more solid color. A color that has as much depth as the other three colors, and at least half as much depth as Blue.
For one thing, define exactly what it is that Green gets in each set. You can always count on Blue getting counterspells, card drawing, fliers, search, and bounce.
Green might get an untargetable. It might get a creature that destroys an artifact or an enchantment or either. It might get some horrible life gain. It might get a way to recover from Wrath. It might get a trampler. It might get some hate for non-basic lands, or maybe instants.
But you never really know, do you?
Wizards should decide what Green is going to get every block that is actually effective. Good mechanics that people can consistently build a deck out of. Personally, I like cards like Viridian Zealot, Viridian Shaman, and Indrik Stomphowler. But how many of those can you look at and say “that's a format-defining card” or even say “that is a powerful card.” They are playable, passable cards. And I think in every set we should get something that follows in those lines. If Blue wants to make a tournament-worthy twenty counterspell deck, it can, and has been able to for eight years. If Red wants to make a competitive twenty burn spell deck, it can. If Green wants to make a twenty artifact and enchantment destruction deck, there's no way. Not unless you want to dip into Scavenger folk and other horrible cards.
The first thing I would do to define Green is make it so it can competitively destroy artifacts and enchantments at will, with creatures. The reason I add “with creatures” is because creatures are never dead cards. No one likes to die holding three Krosan Grip in their hand while Lions and Wolves devour them.
The second mechanic I would like to see every block is effective recovery from Wrath effects. Caller of the Claw. Beacon of Creation. Sosuke's Summons. Haste. If Green is going to be the color that doesn't get any removal, any counterspells, any discard, and relies entirely on its creatures, then we need to be able to recover when our only win condition is removed. Especially in an environment that has sixteen Wrath effects (Don't forget Sunscour and Hour of Reckoning.)
The third mechanic we should see more of is hatred for all things that Green doesn't do. The best way to illustrate that is with cards that Green has already seen. Primal Order. City of Solitude. Dosan the Falling Leaf. Needle Storm. Storm Elemental.
Ha ha... Storm Elemental. Ha ha... Needle Storm. C'mon. How about a 4/4 for five that deals four damage to all creatures with flying? Wouldn't that be a little better than all those stupid spiders and storms? C'mon now. If Green doesn't get fliers, then give us real ways to deal with them. How about a 2/2 Elf for three that says “Tap, bury target flier.”
Why not?
Take a look at some of Blue fliers and tell me with a straight face “Sure, those are fair. But the color who doesn't get fliers being able to destroy them isn't.”
And if we're not the color of instants, then we should have a lot of ways to turn them off for everyone else. Hell, Green's entire theme should be “little kid decks.” We've all heard the term “decks that don't play fair.” Make Green the color that enforces “fair.” Make Green the color of forcing the combat phase; forcing people to make sacrifices for playing five colors; stopping people from doing unfair things.
I think the people that favor Green are already in that mindset, and would love to see that expanded.
“But hey, Green's really good now, so beggars can't be choosers.”
Beggars?
Last time I was in Madrid, I didn't see any beggars. A couple weeks ago when I went back, I saw a whole bunch. (Was that the worst segue ever?) Some of the more interesting ones:
A guy with a dog, a cell phone, a blanket and a sign that said “Yes I smoke, yes I have a cell phone, but my little dog needs an operation. Please give.”
A guy with a sign saying “Yes, I am going to spend it on whiskey... at least I'm honest.”
An old woman hunched over and kneeling as if life had just beaten her down. Weathered and rain battered with a small bowl in front of her for coins. Almost completely covered by shawl and blanket.
A man with no arms. Shaking his cup in his teeth and screaming over and over how he needed money. Wendy says he's in the same spot every day.
My favorite... an ethereal attractive girl kneeling on her shoes in the rain. She wasn't even in the square. Just a side-street with little traffic. Hand outstretched, no bowl like most beggars, just her hand. She locks eyes with me as we come out of the grocery store fifty feet away and watches me until I can't take it any more. I walk over, hand her a couple bucks and she just smiles at me. She watches us walk away until we're out of sight.
Oh yeah, and the living statue I talked about on my web site.
My therapist says I work too hard. She might be right. But right now I don't have time to relax. Too much stuff getting ready for Madrid. Too many people to have dinner with, and say goodbye to. Too many last minute details I forgot. Too many hours at work and all free time devoted to Magic. Even when I play Magic I'm working too hard right now. Just take a look at Flores for proof. Every week he comes up with a new deck, more insane than the last. Every week I'm tweaking the same deck. Every week I'm playing in almost exclusively Extended tournaments and queues, trying to get something working that will get me back on the show. The Big Show.
I have Zombie decks built. Standard Green/White Tron with Wurmcalling and Supply / Demand. A light-land Green land destruction deck that uses Gleancrawler and Spectral Force because massive tramplers are just too much fun. Especially when you just got done smashing someone's land.
You know what that deck loses to? Scryb and Force. Scryb and Force wrecks just about anything I make with Green. Any version of it.
I have a pretty standard Gruul deck with Rumbling Slum, Burning Tree Shaman, Elves, Giant Solifuge and a bunch of burn built, but I never play it. I love everything about Blood Moon. I love unloading a hand full of burn onto some Blue mage's face when he taps out for Teferi. Sadly, it can't beat Scryb and Force, and it can't beat the other decks that Scryb and Force beats.
8/8 Trample > 5/5 plus one damage during upkeep.
1/1 untargetable plus Moldervine cloak > 3/4.
Stonewood Invocation > Char.
So many decks to work on. So many concepts that need exploring. So many combinations that I could just be working on in the practice room. But instead I spend all day in tournaments. Tweaking. Perfecting. Learning how to play a certain matchup.
Tonight is break time.
Tonight I'm entering a Time Spiral Block Constructed format with a deck I have played zero times.
| Thallid Arena Featured by Jamie Wakefield on 2007-03-04 (Standard) | ||
Creatures 4 Scryb Ranger 4 Spectral Force 4 Sporesower Thallid 3 Thallid 4 Thallid Germinator 4 Thelonite Hermit Instants 4 Might of Old Krosa 4 Stonewood Invocation |
Legendary Creatures 3 Thelon of Havenwood 2 Verdeloth the Ancient Basic Lands 20 Forest Lands 1 Arena 3 Urza's Factory Legendary Lands 2 Pendelhaven | 4 Scragnoth 3 Whirling Dervish 4 Chameleon Blur 4 Krosan Grip |
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| Download this deck in Apprentice format! |
Download this deck in Magic Online Text format! | |
[Still working on the “Time Spiral Block Constructed” tags for the Deck Database... - Craig.]
Thallids, Verdeloth the Ancient, pump spells, and the reliable stand-byes of Scryb Ranger and Spectral Force. Tons of land. One of which is Arena. C'mon, how fun is that card?
The sideboard is made after watching a few games from the last TSP Block tournament. There's a lot of Blue. We hate that. There's a lot of White Weenie, and man is it fast. Why not a fog effect to slow them down and kill their guys? Yes, Chameleon Blur is going to actually see play.
Tournament's starting, lets see how I do.
Round 1
My first opponent is playing the ever-annoying Momentary Blink, Temporal Isolation, Avalanche Riders, Lightning Angel, Vesuvan Shapeshifter deck. [Blink Riders. — Craig.] This makes up about a third of the tournament.
He isolates a Spectral Force but I get another one. Scryb Ranger blocks a Lightning Angel. He destroys a land and I come rolling in for 13 points of trampalample thanks to an Invocation.
Game 2 is madness.
I start off a little land light, but I have Scryb Ranger and a Thallid getting counters. He split seconds my Scryb, and I play another one. Then I rip Thelon of Havenwood and my little Thallid is suddenly a 4/4. RAWR! He swings, and all of sudden he's in Isolation. On his turn, my opponent plays an Avalanche Rider, and since I am still land light, I block him with Thelon so he can't play any Momentary Blink tricks and land screw me. I play a Germinator, he uses a Riftwing Cloudskate to bounce it. I'm still on three land at this point, he's on five and a Prismatic Lens.
I play another Thallid, return a Forest, play it again, and put the Germinator into play. He Blinks his Cloudskate and returns it to my hand again. He attacks, I untap, play a Sporesower Thallid... he Blinks his Cloudskate again sending him back to my hand, and blocks my Thallid. He suspends another Cloudskate and plays a Lightning Angel.
This theme continues until I'm dead with seven cards in hand.
Game 3 is much better for me. He has to mulligan while I keep a hand of 5 Forests, Sporesower Thallid and... Scragnoth! He plays land after land and I rip some creatures for him to kill. He kills the Sporesower with Disintegrate, I play the Scragnoth and he says good game. An 8/9 Scragnoth on the next turn kills him.
Round 2
Yay. First turn island. This should be (not) fun.
He suspends a Riftwing. So much hate.
I get a slow start, ripping lands to add to my land-rich hand already. I play a Thelon, then a Spectral Force. Meanwhile, he has a Scryb Ranger, two Yavimaya Dryads, and a Riftwing Cloudskate.
I get a good start in the next game, but I mess up often with Arena, and lose a game I could have won. Seriously, this is why I usually play decks a hundred times before I enter a tournament. The game was all mine. I think. I mean, really, who knows when they have a Vesuvan Shapeshifter on the board and both of you have a Spectral Force? I was also holding a Thelonite Hermit. Would that have helped me more, or helped him?
God, I hate Blue.
I watch some replays and see that my deck isn't very original.
Round 3
Another Blue/Green deck.
Turn 1 I make a Thallid. Alan Webster calls it the best one-drop in Magic. I'm starting to believe him. No, not really.
Turn 2 I cast a Scryb Ranger and he matches me. Then he plays a Yavimaya Dryad, and I play a Sporesower Thallid which he promptly Psionic Blasts, so I play another one. Well, he's got a Blast for that one too, but this time I have enough mana to save him with a Might of Old Krosa. He plays another Yavimaya Dryad. End of his turn I remove six counters to put two Saprolings in play. He has three blockers, I have five guys and two Might of Old Krosa.
Game 2 is a thing of beauty.
Turn 2 Scryb Ranger, Turn 3 Thelon, Turn 4 a morphed Thelonite Hermit. He Psionic Blasts the morph. The next two turns I Might of Old Krosa, Might of Old Krosa, Stonewood Invocation him to death. The game took under 4 minutes. No tricksy Blue shenanigans for you!
Round 4
I get a fantastic start. Thelon of Havenwood and a ton of Saprolings. And a Hermit. He gets two Shapeshifters, so I lose.
Game 2 is identical. Sure, I think its fair that he can turn a 2/2 into an 8/8 for two mana. That seems perfectly fair to me.
Best creature in Time Spiral Block? Its arguable which one it is, but once again, it's not Green.
Seriously, I could tell you more about the games, but I'm so pissed off... who cares? He gets two Shapeshifters, and that's victory. Period. In fact, I can boil down my four rounds against four Blue/x decks like this —
They don't get Shapeshifter, so I win.
They get Shapeshifter, so I lose.
With two losses I'm out of it, and its time for bed. In the morning I'm flying to Florida to start the next chapter of my life. Best way to start a new chapter is with a week on the beach, am I right? As for the deck, I loved it. The Thelonite Hermits will probably come out since they seem to help my opponent more than I. I will probably add in Mwonvuli Acid-Moss in their place, since so many decks are multicolored.
Good luck and have fun.
Jamie.
Chris continues with his Angry Man persona and complains long and hard about the blurring of the color pie. He also swallows his pride and champions the very... 
