Hello, all! I need to take care of some general housekeeping before we get to the meat of this article. There are a few minor issues left over from previous articles that need to be addressed, and a few minor side rants that I need to get out of my system. Don't be surprised if this seems more like four or five mini-articles rather than one cohesive discussion; hey, it works for Rizzo.

Sometimes, anyway.

Type 1.5: A while back I wrote a very simple article espousing the greatness of the Type 1.5 Magic format. In that article, I called for the peanut gallery to bring forward some articles on the subject."Bring out your tech!" I called. I know that the esteemed editor of StarCityGames.com would be happy to have some interesting and unique content.

I know that people did, in fact, read the article, and I know that people are, in fact, still playing Type 1.5. I can say this with some measure of certainty because a number of people actually e-mailed me in response to the article. I got a lot of"good jobs" and"atta boys," and even some deck ideas and suggestions about the format. However, I haven't seen any other articles on Type 1.5 appear. What's the deal, folks? Get on the ball and get writing!

Suffocating Blast: Yeesh. I knew that Suffocating Blast article was going to create a firestorm. I was dreading the responses. I got like twenty e-mails from people that completely disagreed with me, two that were lukewarm, and one from a guy who says I am his new favorite Internet Magic writer.

I'm not sure what to do with that last one.

Mike La Beau even wrote a short article for StarCityGames.com taking issue with my premise. In it, he called me"Mr. Collier."

I'm not sure what to do with that, either.

Anyway, I know that almost everyone universally disagreed with my outlook on Suffocating Blast. Inevitably, the argument that was presented wasn't so much that Blast was a bad card - just that Counter-Burn was a bad deck. Or that, at best, Blast was a card that just helps you"win more." You can't win them all, I guess. I concede that Blast is a very narrow card in terms of the kind of decks it can be used in.

And Counter-Burn won States in New York. Of course, there weren't any Suffocating Blasts in that deck, but....

Did I mention that the Suffocating Blast article was written tongue-in-cheek? Oh yeah, that's right - I didn't mention it. (Evil grin.)

Anyway, I had a strange request from a reader and I thought I would open it up to everyone. As a tribute to scrubs everywhere, if you have any Suffocating Blasts that you would like me to sign, I would be happy to do that. Just e-mail me and I will send you a mailing address where you can send them. I'll sign 'em and send 'em right back out to you.

Not that anyone will take me up on it....

Wurms and Worms: This isn't left over hostility from a previous article, but while I am on a rant, has anyone but me noticed the problem with the art on Metamorphic Wurm and Roar of the Wurm? The creature pictured in the art on both cards looks like something straight out of Frank Herbert's Dune. Considering that, shouldn't the card have been called Roar of the Worm??? A"worm" is an invertebrate with a tube shaped body, while in Magic a"wurm" has traditionally been pictured as a wingless, ground-based dragon. A little consistency here, please! Yeesh.

Magic On-Line: As a professional marketer, I have an interesting perspective on the MOL pricing controversy. First, it's important to remember that Wizards has said nothing official about the pricing structure. However, there have been rumors about a number of different possibilities.

So what does that mean? Personally, I think Wizards is feeling us up, and not in a sexual way. (Well, actually now that I think about it, maybe that isn't so true....) I am sure that the corporate barons would love nothing more than to be able to charge the same price for digital cards that they charge for paper cards - no doubt that would make this venture extremely profitable. However, I think that there must also be some doubt as to whether the Magic playing community could accept such pricing.

The solution? Show off the program in an open Beta and let everyone get wowed by it. At the same time, leak some rumors about possible pricing structures. See how people react, and then make a decision based on the feedback.

Personally, I've used exactly this kind of approach to product pricing before, and I don't doubt that Wizards of the Coast is doing so here. So far, reaction has been pretty universally against the idea of paying full retail price for digital cards. Don't be surprised if Wizards eventually announces a flat-rate pricing plan that gives one access to an unlimited card pool.

Personally, I was able to download the program last week thanks to the generosity of John Carter, who posted a link to it on one of the message boards at mtgnews.com. It's slick, but to me it doesn't seem very playable with a 56k connection. It look like six hours to download, and even once I got it downloaded and got started it took forever for the game's art to download in the background, which slows the program down ridiculously. If you have cable or a DSL internet connection, things are probably a lot better.

Still, the general concept of the program seems flawed. I don't want a program to replace"real" Magic. That's what MOL aims to do - duplicate the Magic experience from card collecting down to game play. I personally just want a program to supplement my real-world Magic playing. Something I can test new decks with, even if I'm just solitaire goldfishing. If that's what you want, then trust me (waves hand like a Jedi), MOL isn't the program that you're looking for.

The Tao of Silent Bob:"Why do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. Think just because never says anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his f---ing mouth." --Jay, on Silent Bob's monologue (from the movie Chasing Amy)

I admit to having a disproportionate amount of love for the movies of Kevin Smith. The five-movie New Jersey saga (you can't call it a"trilogy") of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are quirky, funny, poignant, and just downright entertaining.

In particular, I have found that I identify with one particular character of Kevin Smith's: The enigma that is Silent Bob. In case you live in a cave, Silent Bob and his overly-talkative hetero life mate Jay are sort of the R2D2 and C3PO of the stoner set. They are the only characters to appear in all five movies, and they tie the universe of the films together. Jay is foul-mouthed and can't seem to shut up. Silent Bob speaks only when needed (usually only one to two lines per movie) - but beneath his mute exterior, he is smart, sensitive, and perhaps the purest soul of any of Kevin Smith's characters. (I'm sure that the fact that Kevin Smith actually portrays Bob has nothing to do with this.) All-in-all, Jay and Silent Bob are best described as"drug dealers with hearts of gold."

Anyway to make a longer story even longer, not only do I relate to Bob, but I've even been told that I bear some resemblance to that nearly soundless anti-hero. Personally, I just think that all fat, long-haired, bearded white guys in their late twenties all look alike. If my esteemed editor has gotten my photo posted by the time that this article appears, you'll be able to see for yourself and make your own call. (Alas, no, not yet - but trust me, it's kind of eerie - The Ferrett) The photo was actually taken on Halloween, when a friend and I were portraying Jay and Silent Bob. Did we go to a party? Hells, no. We hung out in front of a convenience store and then went to the mall. What else would we do? You should have seen the faces on the clerks at the Suncoast when Jay and Silent Bob actually came into the store and purchased the Clerks special edition DVD.

What does any of this have to do with Magic: the Gathering? Well, I have decided on a name for this column that I think fits me and fits what I would like to accomplish with my writing: The Tao of Silent Bob.

So what the hell is a"Tao" anyway? Paraphrased from www.taopage.com: "Tao means the idea of skill or talent for a certain thing - a gift or ability. Even ordinary people could demonstrate some uncommon skill. Some people simply have a special vocation: There are people who are very skilled for business, art, music, performance sportsmen acclaimed by the people, talented politicians etc. All of them have their own Tao and this means a distinct aptitude..."

So, what is the Tao of Silent Bob? Well, Silent Bob makes people think. He hammers home a point or offers a comment that helps someone see an issue from a different perspective.

So, I guess I am going to be something of an issue-oriented writer. Fun, fun, fun. Or maybe I'll just write articles about whatever janky deck I am playing that week.

Chasing Jamie: Ah, yes - the meat of this article. Let me start this off with an anecdote: A few weeks back, I was playing Friday Night Magic at my local Wizards of the Coast store. I was 2-0 heading into the third round, playing my post-Odyssey W/b White Weenie deck. As you may (or not) recall, I debuted my deck list for this creation right here on StarCityGames.com.

I was paired against a G/U token Opposition deck, which was being piloted by one of the stores"regulars." Sigh. He's kind of a cocky kid in his late high-school years. The thing that rubs me the wrong way about him is that he is a bit of a rules lawyer (he's the kind of guy who counts your sideboard and deck before the match starts) and he also has a strange habit of playing much more slowly after he is up one game in a match. I'm not outright saying that he stalls intentionally or anything... I'm just implying it.

On top of all of that, he uses the infamous"three pile" shuffle on everyone he plays.

I know - he's out to get every advantage he can get. That's my problem: Friday Night Magic is supposed to be casual and fun. One shouldn't have to announce every phase of their turn at FNM.

Anyway, he and I play our match and he wins easily. No big deal; I can live with losing. I'm only slightly irritated by the speed at which he played the second game of the match. Of course, that was before his next comment.

As I'm un-sideboarding and packing up my cards after the match, he turns to one of his friends (who was sitting at the table next to us), gestures to me, and sneers."This guy put his entire decklist on the Internet." He looks at me, and then he chuckles.

I'm still trying to figure out why this bothers me so much.

Aaron Forsythe once posited that when it came to Magic there were"writers" and"players." He wrote:"Writers are people who want to make their mark on the Magic community through the internet (or magazines). They have a very altruistic, heart-on-my-sleeve approach to information. They want to figure out the best ideas for new formats, and then paste them all over cyberspace for the whole world to see. Writers will do this no matter what, even at the expense of their own success: 'Here's the deck I'm going to play at Regionals'!" Players, he said"want to make their mark in Magic through tournament results. A player wants to figure out the best ideas for new formats, and then keep them secret until tournament time, sharing only with a close circle of confidants."

Aaron makes some good points, and at heart I am sure that the kid from the Wizards store was exhibiting some of the same outlook. He was a"player" sneering at a"writer."

I guess my problem is that I don't agree that these two things have to be mutually exclusive. I do believe that a"writer" can also be a"player." The Magic community's favorite long lost folk hero proves it.

Jamie Wakefield.

Yes, Jamie Wakefield is truly everything to everyone. He was a scrub's scrub, passionate about the game. He persisted in playing"bad" cards and he shunned many of the cards that were considered to be power cards. He flouted the conventional deck building wisdom of the day. Yet at the same time, he was successful, playing in five Pro Tours from 1996 to 2000. Granted, that's not Kai Budde successful, but it certainly is respectable.

And all the while, he was writing tournament reports; some of the best tournament reports ever written.

I've seen a lot of people recently complain about the state of the Magic Internet community. Specifically, these people have complained about the lack of quality Magic writing. Primarily, this is due to the fact that most of the truly good players in this game have, at least in recent years, decided to keep their tech, their decks, and even their playtesting methods to themselves. Since there is demand for on-line content, that leaves amateur level players to fill the void - resulting in articles that are commensurate with the play level of those who are writing them.

It really doesn't have to be this way. There is a balance that can be struck. Pros or players very close to the pro level can contribute to the online community without ruining their chances of winning tournaments. There are a few pros who do regularly contribute to the community and have still proven successful. For instance, I personally have found Zvi Mowshowitz's latest series on Brainburst, a focus on sideboarding choices called"Piecing the Mind Games," to be very helpful. Of course, making decent sideboarding choices is one of the areas of my play that is absolute weakest, so I need all the help I can get. Still, Zvi has been prolific (his Sideboard On-Line"My Fires" manifesto had a huge impact on the way people constructed their G/R decks last season) and still has been a very successful player.

Likewise, even amateur players who are writers can rise above, gaining in experience and skill in both deckbuilding and playing until they reach a higher level... And there is no reason that at least some of these folks can't take us along for the ride through their writings.

Okay, so publishing every deck that you are testing before the big tournament isn't that smart a move, especially if you are a"name" player. Still, I do long for days gone by when people were a little more open with their tech. The early days of The Dojo were a kind of golden era for the Magic Internet community. While it's true you can't go back, especially since the creation of the Pro Tour and the amount of money at stake have given people at the top of this game huge monetary incentive to keep their tech to themselves, we can still strive to be a bit more open.

I know I'm not going to stop contributing to the community, regardless of who sneers at me from across the table at FNM. Of course, I'll be the first to admit that I am a total random anyway.

Still, I'm going to keep chasing the prize. I'll spend each day from now on chasing Jamie. So to speak.

Ken Collier (kennethcollier@msn.com)
"This job would be great if it wasn't for the f---ing customers"