Please hold while we load your cart...
Nope, nada, uh-uh, I don't think so... NEVER!
I'm not Johnny (insert expletives here) Magic - and I don't want to be Johnny (insert expletives here) Magic. If I was, I wouldn't be writing this article... I would be sitting at home enjoying my new-found freedom. No, I'm the guy walking around the tournaments with the 'I think your Mom is hot!' T-shirt on... and I probably mean it.
I'm the guy sitting across from the Jerk as he's screaming his head of about how he should have beaten my as I smile as sweetly as possible and wish him luck against all the other 0-1's.
I'm also the guy who loses in the first round of the tournament laughing hysterically, because my opponent and I are cracking jokes or talking strategies with him and asking him questions about why he made certain plays.
I'm not Rizzo. I can't be Rizzo. I don't want to be Rizzo.
I want to be me.
I like me. How many people do you ever hear say that? It's always"I'm not any good" or"I wish I could be more like so-and-so." That's crap! You be who you want to be. You don't be anyone else. If you find someone with a perspective or traits that you admire then that's fine. Learn from them and be better for it, but don't go out and buy their clothes or imitate them just so you can be more like them!
You're stunting your own growth and worse, you're pissing me off!
Magic is a society unto itself. How you treat the man your trying to beat will leave a mark upon him about you for years. The next time you see him at a tournament, is he going to remember you as the bastard who treated him like crap while you played? The guy who talked trash when he got mana screwed? The guy who called a judge over every five minutes to bitch about some procedural error he made during his turn? The guy who blew up and yelled at him about how amazingly lucky he got after he's beaten you?
How are you going to be remembered? Rizzo taught me that.
I thought that Rizzo had good ideas... And once you got through the one-liners and cultural references he had a point! I don't think everyone got it. Some did, some didn't... But in the end it didn't matter, because he's gone. I'm not upset about it. I think he did what was right for him. He looked into the Magic world and saw the problems. He screamed and shouted and yelled as loud as he could and he was heard by few but mostly ignored. The Netdeckers are there, the ID'ers are there, the teen trash talkers are there... And most of them are probably happy that he's gone.
I'm not. He chose his time and he left. Good for him.
I don't want any boxes of Magic for this. I don't care about four, five, or even six boxes! I just wanted to say that no one is going to be the next Rizzo. There shouldn't be another Rizzo. Rizzo is Rizzo. End of Story.
Colin Pittman (Not the next Friggin' Rizzo)
knighthawk@nc.rr.com
