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I would love to be the new Rizzo ? really I would. But in order to do that I would need some things I just don't have - passion, attitude, and general coolness. Rizzo had this in buckets (or at least he was able to fake it in his articles).

Rizzo really cared about the game of Magic. He wanted to win, but on his terms - no net decks, no ID. He would actually try to play some weird concept deck... And usually somewhere along the line, he would be proven right. For example, he was using Nightscape Apprentices long before they found a home in the seemingly infinite Psychatog decks.

Unfortunately for me (and your search for a new Featured Writer), I am just a Department of Defense software engineer who enjoys a hobby that most other forty-year olds would consider strange at best. I don't travel around the country to different PTQs. Fortunately for my lazy ass, Florida somehow qualifies as a Region. We get our own PTQs, Prereleases, and even Regionals. The Nationals are right here... So I do manage to get to a few events. But I have no special stories to share. Let's look at my Regionals experience.

No exciting deck to share; I took a basic Red/Green net deck that splashed black for Terminate, Spirit Monger and Pernicious Deed, and off I went. The deck did well enough at Friday Night Magic, so what the hell? I proceeded to lose the first two rounds to decks built around Traumatize and Millstone; not exactly the metagame anyone predicted. Then again, with three to five hundred people showing up at every Regional I've read about, rogue decks are bound to show up. I then proceed to lose the next two rounds to"amazing" decks containing Ensnaring Bridge. Losing to fourteen-year-old boys and girls is not wonderful for the ego.

I am told I have something of a bipolar disorder. I am also told I am obsessive-compulsive. Whatever the reason at 0-4, I do not drop. My deck is not full of bad cards. I did not build some 83-card idiocy ? and in my mind I should not be losing. The only way to prove that is to play on. Frankly, I dislike the 0-2 drop almost as much as Rizzo dislikes ID. I don't understand paying 20+ dollars to play and then not playing. You are not going to get better in eight-man side events. (I suppose if you actually get to do real playtesting or have a rating to protect, it is barely understandable ? but not for the average player.) I finish the day off beating a Domain deck, a Blue/Green deck with not enough counterspells, and a Mortivore deck. I get my fourth win when my opponent is a no-show.

I'll take the win in this case.

(Another quick rant, though: How hard is it to write drop on the results slip? I run into this constantly, especially at prereleases. Coming to play doesn't do any good if there is no one to play.)

So twelve hours, a 4-4 record, and I've probably dropped below 1650 for my Constructed rating. (It once was over 1800 for one round of one tournament. That didn't last.) The bottom line is, it was fun. That should be why all of us play the game. Not for ego gratification. Not for huge prizes (although they're nice). Just because it is a great game.

Just think: I've spent six years and thousands of dollars. I've read hundreds of articles. A little girl with some burn spells, a handy artifact, and a couple of luck draws can still kick my ass. Thank you, Mr. Garfield.

Thank you to Rizzo for his many entertaining articles. A forty year-old, 6'0", 125-pound engineer is just not going to fill the bill. Hopefully someone else can.

Lewis Himelhoch