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It's 4:00 am on Sunday. There is a constant drizzle outside. Here I sit at work, my mind a flutter with more ideas than I believe I have time to write. Worst of all, I have no idea where to begin.

Basically, my week and weekend have run fairly normally. I played Magic on Friday night, slept, played with my daughter on Saturday, checked the latest sports news (lamenting the five-game losing streak of my beloved Indians, and bemoaning the waste of a fourth consecutive second-round draft pick on a receiver who's fast as hell, but can't catch worth a damn, by my hometown Browns), got ready for work, and kissed my lovely wife good bye.

Coming to work, I figure I'll cruise the net some, and then complete some homework I've been blowing off for far too long. You know, working full time, going to school full time and parenting full time leaves a person with way too many excuses for not writing their C and C++ programs. Toss in my addiction to this game, and it's a wonder I can get anything done at all. Anyway, I quickly check my favorite sports sites for the latest and greatest on the NFL Draft, and then log into StarCity Games for the first time since I left work Thursday morning.

No more Rizzo. What more can be said? The net has lost its best. I wasn't around when Wakefield left. I was an avid fan of Jamie's writing, and read damn near everything he published, but I was on a Magic hiatus at the time. I found myself somewhat discouraged to find out upon my return to the game that he had quit writing. But after sifting through countless sights, and subjecting my mind to more pointless and uninteresting drivel than I care to remember, I discovered this site, and Rizzo. He was someone to which I could relate. His articles inspired me to share my experiences in this game. He will be missed.

You know, maybe Star City can publish"The Complete Works of Rizzo." Who wouldn't want to sport the five-volume hardbound set, with handsome leather exterior with gold embossed lettering? Sure to be a collector's item. The first volume is delivered free - you only pay shipping and handling, and then pay only $22.95 for each successive volume. Talk about a source of revenue!

Before I actually talk about my recent Magic (mis)Adventures, I have to take a minute to get something off my chest. While I was at my game store this Friday playing in the small tournament that they hold every week, I overheard a couple conversations between two of the younger players that normally come to play. Both player's skills seem to be far superior than their age, as both are still JSS players. Both conversations that I overheard dealt with the same subject - cheating. But, alas, theirs were not the impassioned cries of outrage and fury; rather, they were enjoying a somewhat in-depth conversation on technique and style. Additionally, it became obvious during the course of their conversation that our little Magic tournaments were their testing grounds for said techniques.

I was appalled at what I was hearing. I spoke with one of the participants in this conversation.

"Man, what's up with that?"

"With what?"

"Well, that was a pretty good 'How to' of cheating there."

"So?"

"So? You don't see anything wrong with that?"

"Why should I? I may get caught once out of a hundred times I try it. That one time, I will generally only get a warning. It's not like I'm the only one doing it."

"That doesn't make it right. And, depending on the level of rules enforcement, you could get booted or banned. You know that, right?"

"Still, I gotta be caught first."

I walked away, and went outside for a smoke. I couldn't believe it. I don't know what bothers me the most about it. I don't like cheaters. I mean, hell, it's only a damn game. Why cheat? Everybody wins some and loses some. Some people are better than others. That's life. It's that way in everything. Not everybody can hit the ball like Ty Cobb, or pass like Johnny Unitas, or look like Brad Pitt, or write like Steven King or be hung like John Holmes. That's just how it works.

Maybe I'm way off base here. Maybe - just maybe - cheating is the"Great American Way" and I'm just too clueless to realize it. Look at the examples we see in everyday life. Many of us know someone who has cheated on their taxes. Last year, seven NFL players were suspended for taking steroids, or some derivative thereof. I've lost count of the number of college athletic programs on probation, or serving self-imposed sanctions, for one form of cheating or another - be it kick backs from boosters, academic fraud, or the plethora of other infractions about which we have all read. And why? To gain that small edge? To get a few extra bucks? Is it worth it? Is it really worth risking that which you love the most for a momentary, and insignificant, gratification?

Possibly too many people don't understand the idea that we all have areas well we excel, and areas where we don't. That's what makes the"greats" at anything seem that much more special. How could we marvel at the feats of Barry Sanders if we didn't have a Travis Prentice or Curtis Enis to which to compare him? We all have a point where we peak at any given task. Hell, I was an AP - All-Ohio defensive tackle in high school. I peaked there, and I knew I peaked there. There's not a huge call for 5'10", 180-pound defensive lineman that runs a whopping 5.4 forty. Maybe I knew that because of the ingrained humility that was forced upon me through twelve years of Catholic school. Maybe it was because of the influence of my parents, and their way of keeping me grounded and pointing out the facts of life for me. If I had a quarter for every time I had heard any of the following statements when I was young, I'd be independently wealthy right now:

"No matter how good you are, remember; someday, sometime, there will always be someone better."

"I don't care if you are the best, as long as you try your best."

"Always be fair to others. Remember, what comes around, goes around."

"I don't care what everybody else does... Under my roof, we don't."

"If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?"

Most of you probably get my point by now. Ninety-five percent of us will never have the opportunity to play on the Pro Tour. Sure, it's nice to hope, and dream, and possibly have it as a goal... But what happens when you realize you fall into that ninety-five, and not the lucky and talented five, percent? Who cares? Do we give up the game now - or cheat our asses off for a better chance? That's a choice that lies in all of our hearts.

Personally, I just don't see the point in cheating for a lousy six packs at a twelve-person tournament. Will I still go to play? Yes. Will I continue to play crap? Probably. Will I resort to the old"if you can't beat 'em, join 'em?" Never. That's just the way it is. Knowing and understanding my own limitations allows to appreciate the feats of Finkel and Budde. And just because I'm not one of them, and because I will generally be nothing more than a decent casual player... Well, those aren't reasons to quit doing something I truly love and enjoy.

Well, I've done the obligatory Rizzo spot, stood on my soap box for a few paragraphs - so I guess it's time to actually write about how I got my ass kicked this week. The format for the tournament this week was Extended. I had two possible options: I could play my janky version of The Rock, which I knew I would perform well, or, I could play a pretty mindless, but fun, R/G recursive-type deck I tossed together for casual play a couple months ago.

Those folks that have actually read my previous articles know already which one I played. Of course I had to play the crappy one.

Don't get me wrong. I really enjoy Magic, and I like to win as much as the next guy. Additionally, I'm actually a pretty good player. Give me a decent deck, and I will perform extremely well. Unfortunately, I've really been caught up in this"Gotta play the fun deck" mentality lately. Plus, a lot of my Magic time in recent weeks has been geared towards making Clifford work for Standard (or at least making it quasi-competitive). As such, my competitive juices for the other formats just aren't flowing. I've just wanted to have some fun.

So, I decided on a deck, built somewhat in advance that I thought would be fun to play. Plus, since we are not currently knee-deep into the Extended season, I figure several other players would be playing some fun decks as well. Here's the deck listing. Proceed at your own risk:

4 Taiga
10 Forest
8 Mountain
4 Skyshroud Ridgeback
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Skyshroud Elves
4 Horned Kavu
4 Yavimaya Barbarian
2 Lightning Dragon
2 Weatherseed Treefolk
4 Rancor
3 Hull Breach
2 Fireblast
3 Pyrokinesis
2 Earthquake

Sideboard:
2 Hurricane
3 Chaos Charm
3 Choke
2 Tranquility
3 Simoon
2 Havoc

It's weak. It's fine for those"fun games," and not horrible in group games... But for a tournament, I wouldn't suggest playing it. What a fool I am. Here, I decide to play R/G, with no Ball Lightning, Skizzik, Yavimaya Ants, or Blastoderm. But regardless, this is what I chose to play.

My wife called home from work about 4:00 p.m. on Friday. She ensures that I've gathered all the kids from their various locations and we chat a bit.

"What ya wanna do for dinner?"

"I think there's chicken in the fridge. Go see if it's thawed."

"Hold on." I waddle over to the fridge. Yup, the chicken is hard as a rock. Guess it didn't thaw out. I get back on the phone."It's still pretty frozen."

"Ok, well...I think there is hamburger in there that I know is ready. Any Hamburger Helper in the cupboard?"

God love her. My wife is all too aware of my cooking abilities. If I can do it in three simple steps from reading the back of a box, then I'll cook it. Otherwise, well... Let's just say monkeys with utensils and sticks will do a better job than I would.

"Nope. None of that, but there is spaghetti sauce. I know how to brown hamburger, add the sauce, and boil water. Trust me with that?"

"Sure. Go ahead and do that. Angel will love you for it. You going to play cards tonight?"

My three-year-old has recently decided that all she really wants to eat is spaghetti. Of course, my wife gets none too pleased when I make it for her on Saturday mornings for breakfast. But, hey, at least I'm popular with Angel.

"Pretty sure I am. It's Extended. Think I'll play my crappy R/G thing. How you feeling? Wanna come along?"

My wife is pregnant and due in September - and unfortunately, she still is battling a pretty good case of morning sickness (that seems to stretch to the afternoon sometimes).

"I'm feeling pretty good. I don't have a deck, though. Wanna throw something together for me, and I can play tonight?"

"Sure. Be home about 5:30?"

"Yup. See you then."

We say our good-byes and I start dinner. After I get everything started, I grab the wife's cards. Her collection is somewhat limited. Aside from getting her hands on about any angel she can find, she has mostly commons. She insists on playing her cards and not mine, as I always sleeve my decks to protect my cards somewhat. She can't stand sleeves, and refuses to play my sleeved decks if she has a choice. Of course, this whole"toss something together for me" is a real dilemma. If I toss together something really crappy (like something I'd play for fun), she won't enjoy it at all. And Heaven help me if I screw up and don't include something important - like enchantment removal. Nothing quite like building your better half a nice little G/W beatdown deck, and forgetting to add that. Especially when she happens to face two different decks with maindecked Worship and she has no way to get rid of it.

I start going through what she has, and, after a fairly short time, decide that I'll just build her a simple Stompy type deck. Here's what I tossed together for her:

3 Elvish Lyrist
4 Llanowar Elves
4 M'tenda Lion
4 River Boa
4 Yavimaya Elder
4 Spike Feeder
4 Marker Beetles
2 Craw Giant
1 Force of Nature
2 Bequeathal
3 Giant Growth
3 Hurricane
2 Overrun
20 Forest

Sideboard:
3 Scavenger Folk
3 Choke
3 Scragnoth
3 Life Force
3 Tranquility

Her deck is in no way a great deck - but when she gets home, she looks through it, and is happy. That works for me. We eat, write down the number to the card shop, and leave our oldest in charge to babysit and off we go to play Magic for the night.

We get signed up for the tournament, and pairings are announced. Here's how things went for me.

Round 1 : Squeaky, playing W/G elf/enchantress
Game 1 : I think I'm doing well. I get an early Rancored Skyshroud Ridgeback, hit him for eight, and bounce the Ridgeback back to my hand with a Horned Kavu. Squeaky's Faith Healer and recurring enchantments keep his life total high enough to survive, and I eventually succumb to a double-Rancored elf.

Game 2: I get a Rancored Ridgeback again. At the end of Squeaky's second turn, I pitch a barbarian to Pyrokinesis and take out his three elves. He doesn't recover and eventually dies to a Rancored Kavu.

Game 3: I drop a turn 3 Lightning Dragon into play with the help of some elves, while holding a fourth land and Rancor in my hand. From out of nowhere, my opponent 'Geddons, and my Dragon disappears. I don't draw another land, and I get run over by a double-Rancored, double-Ancestral Masked elf.

My lovely wife got into a creature stalemate, and ended with a draw.

Round 2: Dwayne, playing Turboland/Oath
Game 1: This game can easily be summed up as Molimo making me his bitch. Unfortunately, my deck just couldn't handle this deck at all. In fact, to spare you the suspense, Game 2 went the same way.

My lovely wife ran over a control deck in this round. She's now 1-0-1...I'm hanging out near the bottom at 0-2.

Round 3: Brad, playing something I've never seen.
Brad was a pretty cool guy. Unfortunately, I have no idea what he was playing. I won 2-0 pretty quickly with Ridgeback/Kavu tech. Of course, I was helped along by Brad, who had to double mulligan in game one, and never did get past two land (one being a Dustbowl). Game 2, he never got past the three land in his opening hand (again, one being a Dustbowl).

My much better half has pulled out her second draw of the evening, winning game 2 against Miracle Gro just as time was called in the round.

Round 4: Jason, Playing Miracle Gro.
Game 1: What can I say? The game went by in a blur, as Jason drops an early Dryad that I have no answer for.
Game 2: Repeat the above statement here.

Jeanie loses for the first time all night. Still, she is ecstatic. Her 1-1-2 record is very clearly better than my 1-3 mark. I believe that myself and Brad are the only two who didn't have at least one draw for the evening, and we finished 15^th and 16^th respectively (out of 16 participants).

I guess now is where I should apologize to my readers. It's kinda difficult to give any decent Magic advice based on this deck. I guess I can reiterate my points made about the deck earlier. It's fun (when it works), and I would recommend it for multi-player or really casual gaming. It fits that niche really well. It's definitely not much of a tourney deck... Well, at least not if you wanna be competitive in any way at all.

So, it's another fairly early night, and the wife and I head home. The kids are still up watching movies. We have them get ready for bed, while I finish the dinner dishes. Angel stands behind me, content to watch Dad do dishes and wait for some juice before hopping off to bed herself. I finish the last few dishes, and get Angel her drink.

"Ghetti?"

"No...you don't need any spaghetti before you go to bed."

"Ghetti sauce?"

"No. Maybe in the morning, but not tonight."

I take Angel to bed, lay down with her for a few minutes, and then sneak out as she falls to sleep. Grabbing my copy of the Judgment spoiler, I get a glass of ice water and pull up some couch. I know I won't be sleeping for at least a couple more hours. When you work nights, you still keep somewhat the same schedule even on your off days. I begin to poke through the list, looking for cards that I find interesting or that would work in Clifford once the set is released. These are the cards that jumped out at me:

Nantuko Monastery
Land
T: add one colorless mana to your mana pool. Threshold - GW: Nantuko Monastery becomes a 4/4 green and white creature with first strike until end of turn. It's still a land.

Riftstone Portal
Land
T: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool. As long as Riftstone is in your graveyard, lands you control have"T: Add G or W to your mana pool."

Finally, I get a man-land in standard. I like non-counterable attackers. This will go into the B/G deck I wrote about in an earlier article. The same goes for Riftstone Portal; it's an easy pitch to the Wild Mongrel to get the activation colors you need for the Monastery, and I can cut out the Tainted Wood altogether.

Elephant Guide
Green
2G
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gets +3/+3. When enchanted creature is put into a graveyard, put a 3/3 green Elephant creature token into play.

Hey, a pretty playable creature enchantment. It will pump your elves, and give you a 3/3 dude after Deed clears the board. Not a bad drop in a G/W Wrath deck.

Brawn
Green
3G
Creature - Incarnation
Power/Toughness: 3/3
Trample. As long as Brawn is in your graveyard and you control a forest, creatures you control have trample.

Another perfect card to use in my B/G deck. Again, I don't know if I would ever want to cast this guy, instead preferring to pitch him to a Mongrel. A perfect compliment to a deck that run the 'Monger, and just chump blocking no longer becomes an option.

Worldgorger Dragon
Red
3RRR
Creature - Nightmare Dragon
Power/Toughness: 7/7
Flying,Trample. When Worldgorger Dragon comes into play, remove all other permanents you control from the game. When Worldgorger Dragon leaves play, return all removed cards to play under their owner's control.

Okay, I confess. Timmy is a good friend of mine, and this card just screams to me to build a deck around it. Not standard, though. Maybe extended would be the right format. With a mono-red deck, four Grim Monoliths, and a little luck, we're talking a flying beatstick on turn 3.

Fledgling Dragon
Red
2RR
Creature - Dragon
Power/Toughness: 2/2
Flying. Threshold - Fledgling Dragon gets +3/+3 and has R: Fledgling Dragon gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

He's not a Shivan, but he's drinking milk, and someday....
I kinda like this card. Sure, he's not much to start with, but it's not like Red has problems filling the yard with all the cheap instants and sorceries available.

Dwarven Driller
Red
3R
Creature - Dwarf
Power/Toughness: 2/2
T: Destroy target land unless its controller has Dwarven Driller deal 2 damage to him or her.

I find this guy somewhat interesting. I can see myself playing him in a Fires variant, where he can hit as early as turn 3, and be potentially crippling to an opponent's mana base. Of course, much like Skullscorch, I can also see the opponents just taking the damage and ignoring him. Unfortunately, he becomes virtually useless in the late game, unless an Epicenter can resolve.

Breaking Point
Red
1RR
Sorcery
Destroy all creatures unless a player has Breaking Point deal 6 damage to him or her. Creatures destroyed this way can't be regenerated.

A perfect fit for Clifford. Cheaper than Wrath, and I'll accept the drawback of"only" six damage as early as turn 3.

Browbeat
Red
2R
Sorcery
Unless a player has Browbeat deal 5 damage to him or her, target player draws three cards.

This is probably the best we can hope for in cheap card drawing power for Red. Although I fear this card will simply be handled in the same way people handle Skullscorch.... Just take the damage and ignore the affect. Still, could combo well in a deck with Breaking Point and Dwarven Driller. There is still a finite amount of damage that your opponents can just take.

Anger
Red
3R
Type & Class: Incarnation
Power/Toughness: 2/2
Haste. As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a mountain, creatures you control have haste.

It quite simply a quasi replacement for Fires... When Fires rotates out of Standard. Take your standard R/G deck with Mongrels and other cheap"pitch" affects, like Sonic Seizures, toss in Brawn and Anger, and you have nothing but Hasted, Trampling creatures. It's hard to imagine that this type of deck wouldn't be popular come November 1^st.

Guiltfeeder
Black
3BB
Type & Class: Creature - Horror
Power/Toughness: 0/4
Guiltfeeder can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures. Whenever Guiltfeeder attacks and isn't blocked, defending player loses 1 life for each card in his or her graveyard.

Well, if Black wasn't as popular as it currently is, this card would be much better. Again, though, this card seems more tailored for use in Extended, where it would have a better chance of facing a non-black opponent.

Balthor the Defiled
Black
2BB
Type & Class: Creature - Zombie Dwarf Legend
Power/Toughness: 2/2
All Minions get +1/+1. BBB, Remove Balthor the Defiled from the game - each player returns all black and red creatures from his or her graveyard to play.

Wow - a color-specific Living Death on legs. I can see this Balthor actually seeing some tournament play....Okay, peanut gallery...Maybe I'll be the only one playing it, but if I play it in a tournament, then, by God, my prediction is true.

Keep Watch
Blue
2U
Instant
Card Text: Draw a card for each attacking creature.

Let me start off by saying that I just hate Blue with a passion, and it really pains me to say this, but maybe, just maybe, this card could be broken. Let's see, Randy Buehler had an article dedicated to how Fact or Fiction was somewhat overpowered, and I believe he stated that the best card drawing spells would be placed into the Sorcery slot in the future. Then this comes out. Gee, think the Blue mage is already popping wood over this?

"I'll cast a Keep Watch. Let's see... A couple mongeese and a 'Monger... That's three cards. Wow, I just drew into a <pick the hoser....Evacuation, Rout, et cetera.>"

Imagine this in a Merfolk swarm deck, or the current U/G madness/threshold decks. I guess I should scream too much, though. At least it's splashable into just about any deck.

Well, those are the spoiler cards that stuck out to me, and are the ones that I will try to build decks around the soonest. I guess I can feel somewhat better now since I was able to write some on strategy (or at least possibly provide something more insightful than the deck I played in Extended).

By the way, for those of you that are curious, when I got out of bed Saturday morning, Angel was happily eating some cereal. Well, until she saw me, she was happily eating her cereal. Apparently, while watching me make my morning coffee, she remembered my"maybe in the morning" statement from the previous night. We ended up eating reheated spaghetti together for breakfast.

Til next time...

Peace...

Carl Wilt
Brownsfan56@hotmail.com