So originally, I was going to write this really cool article on "How terrible is Onslaught-only sealed is, and why it's the worst format ever"... But after a really cool start, I began to run into trouble, and I couldn't figure out why. Then it dawned on me: I was just whining about how terrible my sealed deck was at the last PTQ, and trying to use information from GP: LA to back up my claim.

Only thing is, I think that if you look at Onslaught-only Sealed as a format, it's not much different than its predecessors.

The format itself is defined by some incredibly degenerate abilities - some of which are attached to common cards. I am going to list several commons that your deck needs to deal with - or you're going to lose a lot of matches. To quote Matrix's The Oracle, but you already know what I'm thinking, don't you?

Sparksmith, Shepherd of Rot, Wellwisher, Wirewood Savage.

You though I was going to say something silly like Rorix, Jareth, Visara, or Kamahl, Fist of Krosa, didn't you? Well I would have but they will show up later to rear their sick, sick heads! These little buggers show up far more often.

Of these four obnoxious little creeps, two seem symmetrical, while the other two can quickly put a game out of reach if you don't draw removal for them... And fast. Sparksmith and Wellwisher can make any drafter or sealed deck player whose card pool may have been a little weak - or heaven forbid, forced to play blue - nearly cry. The inability to remove these little buggers can spell for a quick end to your day. Shepherd of Rot can make the R/B or W/B deck incredibly quick... And if you end up in clerics in W/B you have access to Cabal Archon, which makes it act almost like a combo deck. Just love when my opponent goes turn 2 Wretched Anurid, turn 3 4 Shepherds, and then dropping a turn 5 Archon...I think somewhere in history someone would have called this "mizing, savage tings," but that's just a rumor.

Is this situation common? Where you have several commons that are head and shoulders above the rest in their set, because they are almost designed for Constructed?

For the most part? Yes.

Limited play in the early blocks are all about having the most redundant decks full of as many of the broken commons/ uncommons you could get your hands on. Odyssey had your Wild Mongrels, Cephalid Looters, Aether Bursts, and Firebolts. The format right now is just in its infancy, and having only a single set to work with, it would stand to reason that you're going to see some crazy stuff. Imagine back to when you were playing all Tempest sealed, where you could have a bunch of common shadow guys, backed up by Cursed Scroll if you were lucky. Then there was Invasion - a ton of 2-3 cc dorks and a boatload of burn. I can hear one of my friends repeating how much fun the format was because he hadn't blocked in three weeks, and how he lost one match in that whole time span.

Okay - so I understand why the decks are packed with good commons and uncommon cards... But what gives with the Captain Insano sealed decks like we saw at GP: LA? A quick synopsis would imply that the Pit Fighter legends stay pretty true to their word - and as was mentioned in the past, Big Idiots Ruin Games. These guys are the definition of Captain Insano, especially when they show up in multiples. Its pretty easy to feel confident in your decks when you know that somewhere inside of it are two totally unfair guys who are going to end the game right quick because few things can kill them.

But why do they seem to be showing up in such numbers? Does the distribution, a smaller set, and the sheer number of bad guys in the set have anything to do with it? Maybe, maybe not. It might have something to do with the health of the game. Might it be because more packs are getting opened at these events on average than ever before?

I will use the information that's posted by Wizards of the site. I think I may have picked up on something.

In the 1999-2000 season there is attendance information for four Limited events. Attendance at these events averaged 481 people - and if you take into account GP: Manila, where there were a staggering 647 people (for the time), it plummets to 426.

During the 2000-01GP Season, attendance and the number of events both jumped up. Sixteen events and two different limited formats comprised much of the season. Mercadian Masques and Invasion were used. The season's biggest event was GP Porto with 671, and the smallest in Kaohsiung at 207, with an average of 447 people.

2001-02 showed that Magic's highest levels were getting harder and harder, with fifteen events and some of the highest tournament seen for Limited formats. With GP Heidelburg drawing 879 players, it's the largest Limited event to date - and that was to play in that lovely format known as Odyssey/Torment. The season's smallest event was GP Cape Town with only 171 players. On the whole, the season averaged 444 people - less than the year before.

In the 2002-03, season we have had five GP's already with a high of 682 at Utsunomiya and a low at Melbourne (180) - which was the same weekend as LA, where 480 showed up. So far this season we are averaging 488 people. That's forty more players on average higher than any season previously.

Now things are becoming a little clearer. We are seeing that a lot more players are playing the game - especially at premier events. So the likelihood of seeing decks with a number of very good (insane) cards is higher. Factor in that it's also the first set in the block and that you're getting three packs or a starter and two boosters of the same set, no wonder we get to read reports about insanely-broken decks at GP! There are just more decks out there!

The other factor that I haven't delved into yet...The reports. No longer do we just see a top 64 and prize breakdown for a GP. We are privy to round-by-round coverage with feature matches, and personal stories. We hear about what players did the night before, the night after and occasionally if they did well and are so inclined...the day of. We get to hear about the feature matches where Visara outnumbered players at the table. The game is being scrutinized at a level never before seen - but as far as the numbers go, I think it's bringing in more people that it ever has before.

So where does this leave us on the state or health of Onslaught sealed? I think it's just fine... For now at least! If the next block has a bunch of Captain Insano bombs like the base set does, we could be in for a long, long winter. If its balanced it will become a fun format where, yes, Visara, Rorix, and Kamahl are good - but at least you won't have to worry so much about triple Sparksmith and double Wirewood Savage.

So I bid you adieu, and may you not have to think about whether or not my tagline is funny.

Chris Bagemihl
C_R_Bagemihl@yahoo.com