I've played Magic since I was about twelve years old, sometime around when Ice Age was being printed. I have come a long way from being that clueless twelve-year-old player, making Top 8 appearances in Vintage tournaments both online and in the Marietta, OH area.

However, we all know that there are a number of players who haven't come down that road of"Magic maturity" yet. Some call them scrubs - but I'll call these proverbial bad and inexperienced players Sams, just to be more polite. (I apologize to any Sams out there!) I don't pretend to be a Vintage expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I think that I've played against enough bad decks and enough inexperienced players to write some sort of guide to beating them.

Beating Sams In Vintage
A number of you out there probably have some sort of deck that you've built - probably of some known archetype. (I personally am running Nether Void and Ankh Sligh). You've invested your dollars carefully and made your card selections even more carefully, making every slot count against the major decks such as Keeper, GAT, TnT, and others. But I think oftentimes we metagame our decks so much to beat the macho $2000 decks that our decks fall to the booster pack creations of the Sams.

Sam, like you, has built a deck. And its bizarre strategy, or lack thereof, may throw you off. Sam tends to build two types of decks:

1. Decks you've never seen before
2. Known Archetype Decks

Find the Theme
Most of time, Sam is going to be running some sort of sixty-card-or-higher pile that doesn't resemble a known archetype. However, this does not mean that the deck is not focused in some way. This focus is important. Many Sams will build decks centered around some sort of theme, be it good or bad.

For Example: If you see Sam with a lot of blue and some odd counterspells like Forbid or maybe even Abjure, it should be obvious that Sam has built some sort of blue control deck. He has probably crammed every blue counter he owns into the deck.

Try to have at least a broad idea of what Sam is going for - even if you don't think it's the best strategy, it's his strategy. If you can figure out what Sam is trying to do, you'll have a better time stopping it.

Expect Aggro
More often than not, Sam will be packing more aggro cards than anything else. Again, what kind depends on the focus of the deck and how experienced the player is. This means that you're going to be bombarded by creatures. Unfortunately, most archetypes aren't running a large number of anti-creature measures - at least not comparable to the hordes of creatures your opponent may be running (possibly twenty or even more). This means you're going to need to find some way to either race your opponent, stop the creatures from coming, or killing the creatures. I've found the best strategy is to try to keep them off the table to begin with, either by removal or counterspelling the larger threats. If you're running some sort of bomb like The Abyss or Moat, try to get these down as soon as possible; most of Sam's aggro decks will just roll over and die to these cards.

Expect Aggro Bombs
Sam also likes to run his big creatures. I know when I started playing, Shambling Strider was the best creature, period. If you got him down, that was game. Sam is probably packing one or two big creatures that you wouldn't expect to see in Vintage (such as Ancient Silverback or Shivan Dragon). While you may laugh at such a strategy now, if you don't deal with it quickly, you may give him enough time to draw the land he's been hinting at needing for the last four turns. You may be dominating, but if a large guy hits the table, it can greatly complicate things.

The best strategy for dealing with this, assuming you're not packing Swords to Plowshares, is simply trying to kill him as fast as possible. Do not mess around and play with him because it is fun. It will be much more fun to beat him quickly, than risk losing to him in game 1 because you didn't expect him to cast Sengir Vampire.

Non-Aggro Strategies
If Sam doesn't appear to be running aggro, that means he's probably running some other sort of off-center strategy. The best advice for this is simply to pound him with creatures and disruption as fast and as hard as you can. He will often not have time to set up whatever strategy he was planning to run.

Expect A LOT Of Removal
Sam will typically also be running some sort of weird maindeck removal, often in the form of Dark Banishing, Disenchant, and Naturalize. Expect things that normally stay on the table to be destroyed more often than you'd think. Basically, you need to be aware that your permanents that typically stick around may not be doing so.

Watch for"Good" Cards
Just because Sam doesn't have a great deck doesn't mean he doesn't have some good cards in there. He might just be running a Force of Will, Nantuko Shade, or possibly even Morphling. Don't underestimate what he has in there by making your strategy"I win as long as he doesn't cast some big creature or destroy my enchantment." Such strategies often end up in game 1 losses. Be aware that a good card surrounded by bad cards is often still a good card.

Sideboarding
Most of you probably have not devoted many slots to dealing with Sam. This means you're going to have to improvise with what you've got. If nothing else, get some sort of mass removal or a major hoser out of your sideboard. Sam's strategy is probably pretty one-dimensional, meaning one bomb on your part will most likely be game. If you're not fortunate enough to have such cards, just do the best you can. Don't wreck your deck trying to stuff in cards that don't really deal with Sam. If you can't sideboard well, then don't sideboard; your deck will be better off as the game 1 beast you designed it to be than some sort of Frankenstein with cards that don't really fit the situation.

Losing
Unfortunately, you are going to lose game 1s and game 2s to Sam from time to time. I know I was incredibly angered when I lost game 2 to a five-color Sliver deck while running Nether Void. (Why? Because I took a one-land hand instead of mulliganing like I should have.) (That's hardly Sam's fault, now, is it? - The Ferrett) For whatever reason, you need to remain calm and play your best. If that means getting really serious, then get serious. Don't let the fact that you got beaten by a ten-year-old affect your gameplay. Just take it in stride and get the job done.

Known Archetype Decks
At a tournament about two or three months ago, I played against an opponent, we'll call him Jim, who had been running scrubby aggro on a former match of ours. I expected the same this time around, but was surprised when I saw cards like Force of Will and Psychatog in his hand when I Duressed him. He even cast Demonic Tutor once. Obviously, he was borrowing somebody's deck, as there was no way he built it himself. After playing Duress twice combined with a Hymn to Tourach, I had figured out that he was running some sort of deck centered around playing Upheaval, floating some mana in the process, and then casting Psychatog for a thirty-point punch the next turn. I wasn't overly familiar with the deck, having only read about it in articles. However, I knew that the key to the deck was playing Upheaval... So I focused all of my strategy on stopping his. I Wastelanded all of his painlands and used discard spells as efficiently as I could. After a few turns, I played Nether Void and sealed the deal. Game 2 followed a similar path.

The point of the story is, if you've seen it before, just stop it like you would stop an expert running the deck. This reverts yet again to knowing the theme and goal of your opponent's deck: Figure out what Sam is going for and don't let him have it.

Always remember also that Sam may have put a few"adjustments" and"improvements" to his deck, so be wary of things like extra spot removal or odd enchantments.

Don't Underestimate
If you don't get anything else from this article, don't underestimate your opponent. Play as if you were playing anybody else; just try to know what to expect. If you've done your homework and understand your own deck, you should be okay. Just don't go off on some other weird strategy"for fun" just because your opponent stands two feet shorter than you. A true winner is able to beat champions and challengers alike.

May you always topdeck,
David Earley