The Top Ten Worst Artifact Cards Ever!
Much has been said about the best enchantments, the best creatures, and the best spells - sometimes even the best color. But the worst cards aren't even talked about. Sometimes I sit and wonder: Who would win if Scathe Zombies, Headless Horsemen, Grey Ogre, and Pearled Unicorn would be left in a free-for-all arena - last man standing?
People would shun the idea of even thinking of such useless things, I mean, are laces really the worst cards in Magic? These types of discussions often end up with something like,"Mudhole is he worst card in Magic" or,"No, Great Wall is the worst."
I decided to do something different for a change -I would find the real answers to the problem:"What are the worst cards in Magic?" What cards are so useless, so despicable, that they'd be unusable in Limited, Block, and Constructed? What cards make you want to scream and run around with a"save the trees" slogan? What cards are so vile and disgustingly worthless, you'd think the only good thing about the card is,"At least it didn't cost ten more mana..."
Where do I start? By color, perhaps - and I choose brown for artifacts. Without further ado, I bring you the top ten worst artifacts in Magic.
Untapping a permanent is as useful as say... Infuse. Candelabra of Tawnos untaps lands more efficiently at less cost; Voltaic Key does the same with artifacts, Jandor's Saddlebags for creatures. All without color restrictions.
The argument is, of course, that the Talismans can be used multiple times in a turn as long as you play the specific color spell - if you can pay the activation cost. The counter argument would be,"How much spare mana do you really have on one turn?" It costs two cards (one Talisman and other spell) and least four mana to untap anything remotely useful (assuming the spell costs only one mana). The three mana used for activation should really be spent on other, less useless, things...
Like more spells.
10) Draconian Cylix
This card effectively reads,"Five mana and two cards (one of them random): Regenerate target creature."
Don't get me wrong here; regeneration is a pretty nifty ability, and a bomb both in Constructed and Limited. However, Regeneration does all that for three mana, and requires no random discards every time you activate it. That being said, regeneration isn't even good enough to be used in Constructed play.
Preventing damage isn't really one of Magic's better abilities unless it says prevent all damage from something, protection from spells, or protection from a color.
This card, however, does it with so much inefficiency, it makes Healing Salve look good.
Eight mana to prevent one damage, and ten mana to prevent two damage. The only good part is that at least you get to use it every other turn (who can afford six mana to just to put it into play every turn and have mana left to actually activate it?).
At least it has regeneration, but regenerating the beast also taps it. The way I look at it, the only way to effectively use this is on a multiplayer free-for-all game where you'll want to thwart somebody else's attack and gain an ally at the same time by giving someone else life.
A 2/2 creature for five mana had better have some pretty nifty ability. Sadly the ability doesn't live up to its casting cost - or its activation cost. What were they thinking back then?
The only decent flying decks nowadays are Bird, Angel, Dragon, Vampire, and, Falcon decks - and they're thematic at best. (Um, and any deck packing Wonder, or Morphling - The Ferrett) What surprises me is that the card was from The Dark - when the only good flyers were scarce. Even so, for the same six mana you could have paid to activate Scarecrow, you could have cast Hurricane, which would have thrown all of those flyers into the grave - or for one-eleventh of the mana you invested into this, you could have cast Fog, which stops all combat damage - from all creatures.
6) Sword of the Chosen
First question: How many legend creatures out there are worth using?
Next question: How many useful legend creatures out there actually need the +2/+2 bonus?
Last question: How many decks out there use multiple legend creatures in one deck and actually need a specific card that gives only those legends a +2/+2 bonus?
A very fine example of a card that's worthless in Limited, Block, and Constructed. Once again, it's thematic at best, and one of the very few times when you'd be better off having a Phyrexian Walker.
5) Delif's Cube
Another spell that requires you to do something terribly elaborate in order to do absolutely nothing useful. Not only does this spell waste three mana, it's even worse than #10 because it requires that you not only have to have a creature in play, it also requires that it attacks so that you can be able to use it once. That much trouble just to regenerate a creature?
The only good thing I can think of is that the art reminds me of Rubik's Cube, which I tried to master to no avail during my college days.
4) Jandor's Ring
Holy crap! Eight mana to cycle one card. Talk about efficiency.
Need I remind you that this ability can only be used once a turn (barring massive card drawing like Ancestral Recall), and only when you draw a card? Jalum's Tome does all that at half the cost without the"discard only when you draw a card" clause. For the same mana, and earlier in the game, Jayemdae Tome nets you a card.
3) Arcum's Weathervane
Cards like these are supposed to be good, something unique for Ice Age; after all, snow-covered lands were supposed to be the theme for the set! Sadly, they didn't make an impact on the scene because there just weren't a lot of cards that interacted with snow-covered lands. In addition, most of the ones that did were marginal at best.
This card is sadly, useless in both Block Constructed and Draft, where you're better off with something more useful... Like land. (Snow-covered land? - The Ferrett)
2) Arcum's Sleigh
A spell that relies on specific cards your opponent is playing would likely be dead in most situations. Moreover, even if your opponent did have snow-covered lands, this card wouldn't yield anything good. Relying on your opponent to play snow-covered lands outside of block is never going to happen...
Incidentally, card #2 and #3 form a decent combo: For only seven wasted mana, two cards, and requiring your opponent to control a basic land, you get to make one of your creatures attack without tapping.
Before I forget, Serra's Blessing bestows that ability to all your creatures at a fraction of the cost and doesn't require anything else except itself.
Now for the worst artifact ever printed. A card so shamelessly useless, you'd think R&D were run by a bunch of pre-schoolers...
...Who can't count.
1) North Star
A star card this isn't.
The ability is awesome! You'll never have to worry about having the wrong mana at the wrong time...
Really, now, if you're still having mana screw with half of your lands on the board, you should be playing something easier... Like paper, rocks, and scissors.
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