Quick clarification on my last article...during the rush to get my article turned in (I rattled it off in an hour and a half, as opposed to the two to three hours it normally takes me to type it, revise, change my mind, etc), the second game of my Round 5 report was omitted (in an attempt to correct the first game, heh)... I was beaten down soundly by a bunch of white weenies and didn't do much of anything, and won the round 2-1, not 2-0. Apologies abound.

So what do we play with now?

It's funny how things change in a couple of months... prior to State Championships, everyone dismissed White Weenie as crap because none of the available weenies had Soltari or en-Kor in their names. And when a couple of White Weenie decks won a few of the State Championships, it was attributed to a fluke.

Of course, Lin Sivvi wasn't around then either, but just because the Mercadian Rebels weren't quite as cost efficient as their Tempest block brethren, it didn't mean that they weren't completely inefficient. A bunch of white creatures and global boosting enchantments is some good, and those with Armageddon is some better.

However, seeing how I am a faithful follower of the dark side, I absolutely refuse to play White Weenie. We all have our trappings, and this one is mine. :P

Side Rant #1: While it might not be as totally effective against White Weenie as it was in the past, I think it was a major mistake for R&D to have removed Gloom from the basic set and replaced it with Dread of Night. People complained about how green got the shaft when it came to color-hosers in 6E (and it did) while black got Perish. Look at it this way... do you realize how strong green would be right now if it weren't for Perish? White Weenie now finds itself on the cusp of the potential green WOULD'VE had without Perish...that is, there really is no card that can keep White Weenie in check on the level of how Perish keeps mono-green in check...

Except for Cursed Totem. Is the Totem becoming just a mack DADDY of a sideboard card in T2 or what?

Ahem, back to the rant..."Blah blah, Massacre this, Massacre that..." I hate to ruin it for some of you, but a lone Massacre does NOT break White Weenie's back. You have to cast Massacre early before Crusade/Anthem hits the table, which means that you're either going to get a 1-for-1 or at best a 2-for-1, which is not what you want against a weenie deck. Double Massacre or a Massacre and Will, THEN you're in business, but the card by itself usually cannot race the global boosters and make a significant impact. Not to mention that the most dangerous perpetrator of them all is naturally immune to a single Massacre (Lin Sivvi). For Wizards to release a magazine/spoiler list that says Massacre might be the greatest White Weenie hoser of all time is laughable. It might not keep the recruiting from happening, but we need Gloom back in T2.

Here's my stab at the deck regardless *grumble*:

"Rebel Scum"

4 Ramosian Sargeant
4 Ramosian Lieutenant
4 Mother of Runes
4 Steadfast Guard
4 Fresh Volunteers
2 Lin Sivvi
1 Nightwind Glider
1 Cho-Manno
1 Defiant Vanguard
4 Glorious Anthem
3 Enlightened Tutor
1 Pariah
1 Seal of Cleansing
2 Parallax Wave
3 Disenchant
14 Plains
4 Rishadan Port
3 Gaea's Cradle

Thanks to Bennie Smith for the Parallax Wave tech... not only can it give you 1 or 2 turns to finish off an opponent, but it kills in the mirror match by allowing you to remove your opponent's Lin Sivvi and then drop your own. Cho-Manno and Pariah can become a soft lock against almost anything but black, and Lin Sivvi plus the Defiant Vanguard provides the surprise blocker from hell.

Side Rant #2: "Legend screw" sucks. As if I had another reason to not play this anyways other than the fact that I hate the Good Guys.

One Crap-O-Vation (TM) I had given thought to would be possibly including Thran Turbine in the maindeck. While it's probably not a good idea to Thaw creatures during your upkeep, it might be a decent alternative to getting Cradle-screwed should there be a lot of Scum decks abound (and I'm sure there will be).

Side Rant #3: Does it seem to you like sometimes R&D forces decktypes on us? Like, you'll be sitting there looking at a spoiler, and you'll think, "Man, these cards would be cool, if only there was a [Card X] that did [Action X]," and then the very next expansion, that card comes out? Say what you will about Rosewater, but he even admitted in one "Insider Trading" in the Duelist (remember those? *sigh*) that there's a lot of R&D members with their own agendas to push cards through design specifically to further some monstrosity that they've came up with... like "Squee's Play," a goblin deck Mark said he wanted to build that led to the design of Coat of Arms, among other things. In any case, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if they are dumb enough to re-make Monk Realist a Rebel, re-name him, and stick him in Prophecy. "Hmm, I wonder why everyone is playing Rebel decks now, Lin Sivvi didn't seem that bad in playtest..." *overheard* "End of turn, Thaw for a Disenchant..."

*grumble*

In my opinion, the three decks to beat in the next month or so would have to be Rebel Scum, Bargain, and my favorite deck at the moment (but not just because *I'm* playing it):

"Keg of Whoopass"

4 Powder Keg (the Kegs...)
3 Thrashing Wumpus (...the whoopass)
3 Skittering Skirge
2 Masticore
4 Duress
4 Stupor
4 Vendetta
2 Snuff Out
3 Massacre
4 Almighty Too-Good-For-Extended Dark Ritual
3 Yawgmoth's Will
1 Vampiric Tutor
16 Swamp
2 Spawning Pool
1 Dust Bowl
4 Rishadan Port

If Stompy had any chance at winning before, it has NO chance of beating Keg of Whoopass now between Perish, Powder Keg AND Massacre. I'm sure the deck can go 4-2 easily, but the difference between going 4-2 and 5-1 will be drawing tons of discard early against Bargain and casting Massacre early and often against Rebel Scum.

The wild cards will be Landkill Red, Mono-Blue and Stompy. People will play Stompy in droves, but possibly even more people will play Rebel Scum. Hunted Wumpus is a nice tweak to the deck, but I think Blastoderm might be a better choice considering running the HWumpus without creature kill is MUCH more risky in Standard than say, Extended. Landkill Red is good against most everything and is exceptional against anything with swamps in it, but it rolls over to what will probably be the most played deck outside of Stompy... Rebel Scum.

Did I mention that Planar Birth is some bad if you're playing landkill? Never mind Crusades, Glorious Anthems, Mother of Runes and Absolute Law...

Mono-Blue can certainly be viable, but it is weaker now against white than it has been before due to the simple fact that NO recruiter can be allowed to hit the table or else it's lights out. Discard and maindeck or sideboarded Negators are always bad too, Unsummon/Seal of Removal or not, and the Stompy match-up is just brutal. It will be a field-by-field basis that will determine if these decks sink or swim, but they are definitely still decks to be accounted for.

Finally, a few thoughts about the end of the Extended season. Seems I received one or two e-mails slamming me for my degradation of the name "Chex" for the Replenish/Pandemonium/Saproling Burst deck. This is where I stand on the whole cereal thing: Deck innovation is a great thing, and I'm usually one of the first people to praise these innovators whenever a new decktype emerges from the ether. In no way am I calling these deckbuilders unoriginal due to their creations. What I do have a hard time with is following the flavor of the month... it just comes across as a total cop-out to put all this time and effort into creating a good original deck, and then just going with the crowd and naming it after cereal.

It all started with Fruity Pebbles. A seemingly innocuous name. Ok, that's fine. Then Cocoa Pebbles came about. Ok, that makes sense... since the deck is just Pebbles with a black component (the "cocoa"). Then came Wheaties... again, this is ok, since the deck might be Rec/Sur, but it has the Pebbles combo built-in. Trix appears... ok, this is where things start to get a bit out of hand..."Trix"? As Bennie Smith commented a while back (I'm giving you a lot of exposure this column, eh?), "Trix" implies plurality, which implies, "More than one trick," which the deck just doesn't have (Firestorm doesn't count guys, sorry). Now we have "Chex" for Replenish and "Honey Nut Clusters" for the Fecundity/Saproling Cluster deck. I'd just like to be able to put this past us already and not doom the Magic community to having every combo deck from here on out be named after an important part of a balanced breakfast.

That's my opinion. Doesn't mean I'm wrong or right. But I'm entitled to it. Thanks to those who sent the mail anyways though...input is input, and I welcome all of it.

So anyways, Extended... Trix wilI almost definitely evolve into a deck that will still be the defining one after April 1st, and I admit, the Replenish deck I played in Roanoke was a bit sub-optimal *cough-Flux-cough*, but hey, if it's sub-optimal and it still goes 4-2, I'll certainly take that. So, after a few friendly suggestions and, oh, more than 2 days to playtest unlike last time, this is what I've concocted now (I made top 4 with this deck in a Master on E-League, if anyone cares):

"Jarrell's Janky PandeBurst"

4 Replenish
4 Saproling Burst
4 Pandemonium
4 Frantic Search
4 Intuition
2 Mystical Tutor
2 Disrupt
2 Daze
4 Force of Will
3 Mox Diamond
4 Impulse
9 Island
6 Plains
4 Gemstone Mine
4 Ancient Tomb

The Mox Diamonds are the most notable addition...while not happening very often, they can let the deck go as soon as turn 2, with a little topdecking skills off a Frantic Search. The deck can get around anti-graveyard cards by hardcasting both winning enchantments, having both in play possibly by turn 3. Lifegain is a non-concern if you draw even one Intuition, and the deck sometimes doesn't even need Pandemonium to win, simply serving up some wreckage with Saproling tokens...and due to the stack, the deck laughs at 95% of enchantment removal! It's hard to disrupt except for a Duress or 2 (or 3) on the Replenish itself, and that can be played around with some luck as well. A combo deck that can theoretically go on turn 2, kills on turn 3 frequently, and almost always goldfishes by the 4th or 5th turn...and it doesn't use Dark Ritual OR Mana Vault. Way to go DCI, you really isolated the problem this time. I guess that means that Replenish will be allowed but Mox Diamond and Ancient Tomb will get the ax.

*sigh*

Laters on,

Carl J.
Zeke2517 on IRC
jarrel19@marshall.edu
jarrell1@inetone.net
The King of Greyhounds
Cereal Killer