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Originally, I was planning on writing an article on Kamigawa combos for multiplayer. In fact, I even started one. The problem is that such an article would have been about as timely as the anniversary gift I got for my (now) ex-girlfriend.
In any case, since all of my combos have either been scooped (like Nature's Will + Aggravated Assault) or were not really that good (like, say, Reverse the Sands + Soulgorger Orgg), I had to revise my original article. In the interests of time and the preservation of my dignity, I'll spare you my Zuberaffinity decklist. (It contained Zuberas, Conspiracy, Genesis Chamber, Homarid Spawning Bed, and the blue Affinity Beasts from Mirrodin Block.)
So the other day, while affecting a breezy manner with my prose, I was going through the Champions of Kamigawa spoiler, looking for combos to write about. I'd read Bennie Smith's excellent articles on magicthegathering.com, which detailed many Champions and Betrayers combos - but I couldn't help thinking that I could contribute a few more.
Boy, was I wrong! Eater of the Dead + Hair-Strung Koto was the best I could do.... or so I thought.
That's when I came across Forbidden Orchard. I thought to myself, "Chris, you magnificent [expletive deleted], I think you might've concocted the greatest Magic concoction ever, uh, concocted! This is truly one for the ages. Forbidden Orchard and... Oath of Druids! Unbelievable! I can't believe you thought of that. This is so sick, no amount of Robitussin will prevent it from having an impact on Vintage! You're a frickin' genius!"
What's that? Someone else already thought of that? Everyone else already thought of that? Everyone and their mothers? Their dogs, too? I didn't think that dogs even played Magic - present company, and my ex-girlfriend, excluded - but your obvious hyperbole has convinced me of my monumental lack of originality nonetheless.
That's okay though. I've got a backup plan. You see, Oath of Druids isn't the only green enchantment that benefits from Forbidden Orchard. Of course, I'm talking about none other than ... Maddening Wind!
Actually, I'm kidding (although, obviously, Forbidden Orchard and Maddening Wind is a combo). The enchantment I'm really talking about is the original Tooth and Nail - or, as I like to call it, Seal of Tooth and Nail. This enchantment might just be the most underrated green card ever printed (and possibly the most fun to build decks around).
I'm talking, of course, about Defense of the Heart.
Defense of the Heart vs. Tooth and Nail: A Marginally Useful Comparison
Now, you might be asking: Why play Defense of the Heart when Toothing and Nailing is so de rigueur these days? I mean, Tooth and Nail is a nine-mana sorcery when entwined! How cool is that?
I'll also admit that it does have some advantages. For one, you can freely play with otherwise uncastable, off-color bombs (see Mirror-Breaker, Kiki-Jiki). Secondly, there is no sitting around and waiting until your next upkeep, which can be an eternity in multiplayer. You get your creatures now.
Still, it costs at least seven mana - and usually nine - which necessitates a strong commitment to mana acceleration. This can put significant constraints on deckbuilding. I'm not saying you can't fire off an early Tooth and Nail, especially in a casual format with a bunch of Mana Flares and a pack of ridiculous mana Elves. In my experience, however, you're lucky to get a turn with your Flare mana, and my poor Rofellos has been saddled with enough Contagion counters to choke a donkey.
Defense of the Heart is much more laid-back. It can win you the game just as easily as Tooth and Nail ... but it doesn't have to. You expect to win after casting a nine-mana sorcery, but a four-mana enchantment isn't burdened with the same expectations. Its relative cheapness, and its ability to sit on the board, immune to Hypnotic Specters, Bottomless Pits, and Syphon Minds, are two significant bonuses. Of course, there are some downsides.
Obviously, the biggest disadvantage to Defense of the Heart is that it requires one of your opponents to have three or more creatures in play at the beginning of your upkeep. Most of the time, this shouldn't be a problem, especially since this is for multiplayer. However, if you find yourself in a six-player chaos game like the one I played in recently, where, by my count, there were four each of Wrath of God, Akroma's Vengeance, Apocalypse, Crypt Rats, Noxious Ghoul, Death Cloud, and Death Match (and that's not even counting the spot removal), you will have a hard time getting the Defense of the Heart to trigger, even with Forbidden Orchard.
Luckily, I have a few ideas that should help out in scenarios like this.
(A less-than-quick side note: For those of you who just want to scroll down to the decklist, be warned! This regrettable practice, personally speaking, has had a negative influence on other, non-Magic aspects of my life. For instance, recently I was with a woman. All signs were pointing to the fact that we were on that inexorable path toward the act of coitus. Getting impatient, I lustily told her, "Baby, let's just scroll down to the decklist." Well, she took umbrage - and no small amount of umbrage either.)
Without further ado, here it is:
Stayin' Alive: B/G Defense of the Heart
The Core
4 Veteran Explorer
This little SOB has been called "one of Green's happiest multiplayer cards" by Kenneth Nagle, appears in the second iteration of Abe Sargent's Underused Card Hall of Fame, ranks 28th among Green cards in Anthony Alongi's Multiplayer Card Hall of Fame, and was hailed as a "A Gargantuan Thrill Machine! You'll be on the edge of your seat!" by the LA Times.
Myself, I like to think of him as a "fixed" Crazed Goblin. Like the coitus I alluded to above, your Veteran Explorers won't last long. In general, you should be attacking with them each turn. That way, you get to take advantage of the mana-boost immediately. Send him towards the guy who seems the most land-screwed.
(A quick side note: If someone's crazy enough to think that the guy playing Corrupts ought not to have two Swamps in play before he begins his first turn, and consequently aims a Swords to Plowshares at the poor Explorer, well... that's one less Plow for the creatures that really matter.)
Me, I would wager a foil Daru Healer that it dies to Innocent Blood before you untap.
4 Sakura-Tribe Elder
After much debate, I went with this over Dripping-Tongue Zubera, Wall of Blossoms, and Wall of Roots because of its synergy with both Eternal Witness and Genesis.
4 Eternal Witness
Indispensable. I'm finding it hard to imagine a Green-based multiplayer deck that doesn't have four of these gals. Maybe Maddening Wind.dec.
3 Liege of the Hollows
A card from Weatherlight (and, coincidentally, my nickname when I was still dating), this seven-turn clock is both a Spirit and a tricky way to let your opponents have creatures. If everyone knows what you are up to, however, they may choose not to pay X mana to put X Squirrel tokens into play when the Liege bites it. In which case, "Congratulations! You've just broken the symmetry! Here's a Victory Towel to mop up, Casper!"
It was a tight race for this slot, and I will pause to note that Phantom Centaur and Mortivore were the First Runner-Up and Miss Congeniality, respectively.
The Combo
1 Iname, Death Aspect
1 Balthor the Defiled
4 Kokusho, the Evening Star (a.k.a. Prime Time)
First off, the trick is to fetch Iname and Balthor with Defense of the Heart, which allows you to use Iname's comes-into-play ability to dump all four Kokushos into the graveyard (Go ahead and dump any other relevant Spirits, too. See below.). Then, assuming you have access to BBB, you sacrifice Balthor to return all of your Kokushos to play, where they promptly die to the Legend rule (the second leading cause of death among Legends, with, believe it or not, smoking being the first). This results in each of your opponents losing twenty life and causes you to win. Victory is sweet!
Now, before you chase me into the hills with your pitchforks and torches for being such a Kokusho-playing lamoid, please realize that this "combo" is inconsistent - to the extreme! If you end up drawing any one of these six cards, you can't pull it off. Furthermore, if any player can respond to Iname, Death Aspect's CIP trigger and destroy Balthor - say, with a well-aimed Ember Shot - your plans are likewise thwarted.
Still, it's there. There to be abused, like my daddy's wine rack.
The Toolbox
1 Fallen Angel
After Kokusho, this is probably your best path to victory. It swings for nineteen with Symbiotic Wurm alone, and potentially more with Liege of the Hollows. In a pinch, it can combo with Kamahl, Fist of Krosa.
At the same time, the Angel provides some added utility, allowing you to sacrifice Veteran Explorer, Kokusho, or Genesis, depending on the situation. Similarly, with this in play, your creatures can dodge Swords to Plowshares. This is a pretty big deal since you want to recur many of them, especially Kokusho, who has a tendency to:
A. Get hit with more Plows than a blind Mennonite.
B. Get Plowed more than an Amish porn star.
C. Get killed as soon as possible, usually with Swords to Plowshares.
D. This article and Kokusho are equally lame.
1 Phyrexian Plaguelord
What would a B/G deck be without this fella?
"Better," you say? Maybe, but that was supposed to be a rhetorical question. I like him for the same reasons I like Fallen Angel. Other options I would consider include: Avatar of Woe, Visara the Dreadful, Duplicant (if you're in a particularly Akroma-dense area), and Thrashing Wumpus. For the budget-conscious, Faceless Butcher is a great option that can handle just about anything, including indestructibles like Darksteel Colossus.
1 Sadistic Hypnotist
Again, it's good with the token-makers. He Who Hungers and Mindslicer are other possibilities. Do note, however, that with Balthor the Defiled in play, the Sadistic Hypnotist beats down at an increased clip, shaving three whole turns off his clock. How can you say no to a triple Time Walk?
[Compelling argument. - Peanut gallery, clapping sarcastically.]
1 Symbiotic Wurm
As mentioned, the Wurm combos with the Hypnotist, Fallen Angel, and Phyrexian Plaguelord.
1 Kamahl, Fist of Krosa
1 Horobi, Death's Wail
Horobi might be a poor choice, since you don't have too many ways to exploit him - but his synergy with Kamahl was irresistible. With both in play, GG will destroy the land of your choice. If he wasn't so uncastable, I would want to include a copy of Kuro, Pitlord in the deck (probably in the Plaguelord slot), just to complete this unholy trio.
If you want to make people pack up their cards and go home, you could replace Horobi with an Ascendant Evincar. Obviously, you'd have to make several changes to the deck to make it less reliant on one-toughness green creatures, but the upside is that your ability to Armageddon selectively (and at instant speed) is much cheaper and less fragile. If I'm not mistaken, when Kamahl animates a land with the Evincar in play, the land will die to state-based effects. I'm not even from Texas and I can appreciate this.
In summary, depending on the configuration you go with, there are a ton of little combos you can pull off with this group of cards. You can destroy creatures, lands, and hands, or simply swing for the win.
1 Genesis
"Then God said, 'Let the waters abound with an abundance of utility creatures, and let birds (and some totally kick-ass dragons!) fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.' "
4 Defense of the Heart
2 Recurring Nightmare
Or as I like to call it, The Roadmap to Peace. (A quick side note: Is your joke running? Well, I think both you and I know what needs to be done.) Sacrificing Kokusho to fetch another Kokusho gets me more than a little excited. You'll have to excuse me.
2 Pernicious Deed
When you absolutely, positively have to kill every last melon-farmer in the room, accept no substitutes. In multiplayer, I'm not sure if this is the nut-high or the nut-low, so I will only commit to saying that if falls somewhere mid-nut. You know, on that nut-scale that everyone else seems to be using.
1 Nature's Revolt
This is my so-called Super-Secret Tech. Unless your opponents are complete maniacs and they're playing Two-Land Belcher or Meandeck Tendrils in multiplayer, this is a fairly easy way to guarantee that your Defense of the Heart will trigger. It has the added benefit of putting a damper on the creature-sweepers, since decks packing these cards are typically mana-hungry and won't be too keen to lose all of their lands.
Sure it can backfire like my ex-girlfriend's moped, and I'm almost tempted to swap it out for something less dangerous (Infernal Genesis or possibly Nantuko Shrine), but the other options are much slower or less reliable - and I like the effect Nature's Revolt has on the Mutilate-happy among us.
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Sol Ring
Both cheap and potent (which, coincidentally, is how my ex-girlfriend described me), these two cards are more-or-less no-brainers in any deck that can run them.
4 Forbidden Orchard
4 Bayou
8 Forest
4 Swamp
1 Shizo, Death's Storehouse
1 Okina, Temple to the Grandfathers
Now, before everyone lambastes me with a turbo-charged lambasting machine for not including such no-brainer creature tag-teams as Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker + Darksteel Colossus, Mephidross Vampire + Triskelion, or Pious Kitsune + Eight-and-a-Half Tails, well... the truth is that I have no brain. (Damned dirty apes!)
Besides, haven't we seen enough of those guys already? I mean, play 'em if you want to, but you'll probably have to bathe in tomato juice to get that "competitive" smell off you. I'm just sayin'.
(A quick side note: I understand the Eight Tails part, but how exactly does someone have half a tail? It seems to me that no matter the length, width, or circumference of the tail in question, it's still a tail. Where is George Carlin when you need him?)
Just in case the Red, White, and Blue mages feel left out, I've gone to the trouble of building Defense of the Heart decks with those colors. I won't go into as much detail with the card-by-card analysis, since there is a fair amount of overlap between the decks. Instead, I will endeavour [Hey, you pretentious twit! I think you should "endeavour" not to use words like "endeavour"! - Peanut Gallery] to explain my card choices at a rate of velocity so great, it can only be described as ludicrous.
"You'd better buckle up, sir!"
"Ah, buckle this!"
G/W Version - Angioplasty.dec
4 Weathered Wayfarer
This fetches Forbidden Orchard most of the time, Krosan Verge some of the time, and Diamond Valley/Hall of the Bandit Lord if you're either desperate for life or want to do Stupid Serra Avatar Tricks.
1 Kami of False Hope
I had a love affair with Spore Frog. This is the Frog's more, uh, Spirit-ed, whiter sister. Kinda like Latoya Jackson. Use with Genesis, I beseech thee.
4 Kami of the Ancient Law
You just know some [expletive deleted] is gonna play Aura Shards and ruin your entire game plan.
4 Eternal Witness of the Spotted Owl
4 Windborn Muse
Hopefully this will keep the Zombies and Elves and Goblins at bay. If you aren't facing down hordes of creatures on a regular basis, feel free to swap this for Questing Phelddagrif. It's fat, it flies, and it pumps out little Hippos for your opponents. Just like my ex-girlfriend.
2 Forked-Branch Garami
I think this card is the sleeper hit of Betrayers, at least for group games. It's a Durkwood Boars and a Death's Duet. It's a floor-cleaner and a dessert-topping. This guy is just an excellent tool. ("I'm sorry, did he just call me a 'tool'?" asked the Forked-Branch Garami, uh, testily.) Other options in this slot include Kodama of the South Tree (since you have more Spirits than the LCBO) and Ageless Entity, which makes a reasonably cute tag-team with the following card...
3 Phantom Nishoba
Possibly the number one creature to cast using Hall of the Bandit Lord, this guy has been called a "Drain Life-on-a-stick" and an "undead Sabertooth Nishoba who took an Armadillo Cloak to the grave." If I'm not mistaken, he's also been called "late for dinner," but don't quote me on that.
1 Platinum Angel
1 Fountain Watch
Hey, haven't we seen this before? Just to be iconoclastic, I've abandoned your friend and mine, Leonin Abunas, in favor of the Fountain Watch. It costs W more and has one less toughness, but has the added benefit of protecting your (admittedly, only five) enchantments as well as your artifacts.
1 Serra Avatar
It's big. Real big. Probably the second-best creature to cast with Hall of the Bandit Lord, this guy will just end games with one swing, like David Ortiz.
1 Genesis
1 Oyobi, Who Split the Heavens
This could be anything really, but I chose it for a couple of reasons. The deck has fourteen other Spirits, plus Genesis, so this guy could get out of hand. Plus it gets positively kooky with Angelic Chorus. If you think this card stinks, I would try things like Patron of the Kitsune, Iname, Life Aspect, Eternal Dragon, or Hundroog, depending on your, uh, local metagame and/or your willingness to shamelessly smooch the Editor-in-Chief's backside. (I am not going that route again - The Ferrett)
4 Afterlife
2 March of Souls
This is the kind of Defense-friendly removal that I can really get behind. You can sweep the board with no net reduction in the number of creatures in play. As well, the tokens are Spirits, which is nice thematically but is otherwise irrelevant.
1 Angelic Chorus
Why? Why not? I kinda like the idea of casting a Serra Avatar using Hall of the Bandit Lord with this in play, sacrificing the Avatar to Diamond Valley, and tutoring it up next turn with Defense of the Heart.
More realistically, though, this will simply provide a comfortable life cushion or prevent you from dying prematurely.
4 Forbidden Orchard
4 Krosan Verge
4 Savannah
5 Forest
4 Plains
1 Diamond Valley
1 Hall of the Bandit Lord
Now, my whole obsession with Defense of the Heart came about after reading Stijn van Dongen's article, Multiplayer is an Art, Part 8: Building Decks for Canadians (hey, that's me!). Here, he demonstrates that Defense can be used to tutor for non-creatures - enchantments in particular - by fetching Academy Rector and a sac outlet like Sadistic Hypnotist. Similarly, if you want a specific card in your hand, get a Noble Benefactor and, I don't know, Phyrexian Broodlings. If you want a fatty in hand, get a Fierce Empath. I know this last one seems pointless, since Defense can put any sized creature directly into play, but fetching the Empath and Volrath the Fallen and putting, say, Draco into your hand seems fun - just watch out for Planeswalker's Fury!
With that in mind, why not try using Defense of the Heart to assemble Kaldra?
G/R Version - Pacemaker.dec
4 Veteran Explorer
4 Varchild's War-Riders
4 Eternal Witness
1 Iwamori of the Open Fist
1 Jerrard of the Closed Fist
1 Kamahl, Fist of Krosa (That's a lotta fists - The Ferrett)
1 Kamahl, Pit Fighter
1 Balthor the Stout
1 Tahngarth, Talruum Hero
1 Kumano, Master Yamabushi/Ronin Cliffrider
4 Godo, Bandit Warlord
4 Defense of the Heart
3 Genesis Chamber
1 Mogg Infestation
1 Sword of Kaldra
1 Shield of Kaldra
1 Helm of Kaldra
1 Tenza, Godo's Maul
1 Skullclamp
1 Sol Ring
4 Forbidden Orchard
4 Taiga
4 Karplusan Forest
7 Forest
5 Mountain
Kaldra: Some Assembly Required
Step One: With your first Defense of the Heart, fetch Eternal Witness and Godo, Bandit Warlord. Return Defense of the Heart to your hand and put Shield of Kaldra into play.
Step Two: Replay Defense of the Heart.
Step Three: On your next upkeep, fetch two copies of Godo, Bandit Warlord. Put Sword of Kaldra and Helm of Kaldra into play.
Step Four: Make Kaldra. Suh-wing!
Step Five: [exaggerated description of male excitement deleted.]
As with the Kokusho "combo" above, drawing a bunch of copies of Godo will force you to make other plans. Luckily, you have all kinds of powerful (and flavorful!) creature tag teams to search out. You have Oxymoron of the Open Fist and Redundant of the Closed Fist. Barbarian Kamahl and Druid Kamahl (Funny, he doesn't look Druish). Master Balthor and Student Kamahl. Vigilant Tahngarth and Two-Attack-Phase Godo. Godo the Barbarian and Balthor the Barbarian-Pumping-Little-Person. The list goes on and on. Not really, but you get the picture.
In case things get too hairy (like my ex-girlfriend), Mogg Infestation is your panic button - a one-sided Wrath that, like March of Souls, leaves behind Defense-triggering creatures.
Use Skullclamp on your Myr tokens. [Thanks for the "Advanced Strategy" - Peanut Gallery]
I still can't decide if Kumano, Master Yamabushi or, believe it or not, Ronin Cliffrider should make it into the deck. They both cost 3RR, and they both have incredible synergy with Sword of Kaldra. Kumano is obviously a better card... in a vacuum. Of course, if we were playing in vacuum, we'd all be dead due to a lack of oxygen.
The differences, as I see them, are that Kumano uses Tenza about as well as the Maul's namesake does, while the Cliffrider can actually allow you take advantage of Godo's Relentless Assault ability. So far, it's Kumano by a nose. Unfortunately for the samurai, it's the nose on the Uba Mask.
(A quick side note: Since Ronin Houndmaster has been dubbed "Smithers" by the community, I have taken to naming Ronin Cliffrider after another famous sitcom character. Who? Claire Huxtable, of course.)
If your Varchild's War-Riders are too busy hanging out with Toshiro Umezawa, Red has some other options, since it has no shortage of creatures that want to switch allegiances. Goblin Cadets, Starke of Rath, Emberwilde Djinn, Chaos Lord, and Crag Saurian are just a few of the options available to you. Similarly, Green has some early drops like Ghazban Ogre and Wild Dogs that fall into the same category. Personally, though, with the effortless and unobtrusive creature-donating of the War-Riders, Genesis Chamber, and Forbidden Orchard, the rest of the cards seem like a waste of a slot.
Another fun idea in these colors is to play with Tempting Wurm, Hunted Wumpus, and Iwamori, and then tutor up a pair of Bringers of the Red Dawn with your Defense of the Heart.
It's probably too slow, though, and a little too dicey.
Plus, the Bringers are a little too pricey.
Thank you, Doctor Seuss.
Now, if your playgroup is a little more creature-friendly (I'm looking at all you people who have to deal with "unbeatable" Elf-decks here), try this one:
U/G Version - QuadrupleBypass.dec
4 Birds of Paradise
4 Eternal Witness
4 Dreamborn Muse
1 Trinket Mage
1 Auriok Salvagers
1 Seedborn Muse
1 Arcanis, the Omnipotent
1 Jushi Apprentice
1 Memnarch
1 Tradewind Rider
1 Ambassador Laquatus
1 Ertai, Wizard Adept
1 Multani, Maro-Sorcerer
1 Indentured Djinn
4 Defense of the Heart
4 Propaganda
1 Gaea's Blessing
1 Sol Ring
1 Aether Spellbomb
1 Engineered Explosives
1 Lion's Eye Diamond / Black Lotus
4 Forbidden Orchard
4 Tropical Island
4 Yavimaya Coast
4 Windswept Heath
3 Forest
3 Island
1 Plains
Decking? That's what we're reduced to? We started with a deck that could kill on its third turn and we're finishing with a deck that'll kill on its thirtieth?
Actually, that's not even close to true. Not if you fetch Auriok Salvagers and Trinket Mage with Defense of the Heart. That's another instant win. Use the Mage to tutor up your Lion's Eye Diamond (or your Black Lotus, if you have one). Sac the LED for WWW and retrieve it with the Salvagers. By repeating this process, you should be able to produce an arbitrarily large amount of mana. Now, just use that mana to ... uh ...
Okay, unless you were lucky enough to draw one of these three cards, you might have to do this in two steps, as with the Kaldra-assembling deck above. First, fetch the Trinket Mage and an Eternal Witness. Replay the Defense of the Heart. Second, fetch Auriok Salvagers and either Ambassador Laquatus or Memnarch. Mill everyone or just steal all of their permanents.
This combo, while "infinite" and therefore annoying, is ridiculously disruptable. Withered Wretch, Glowrider, Disciple of the Vault, Arcane Laboratory, True Believer, countermagic, and instant-speed creature removal are just a few of the incidental "hate" cards you might face. Think of the combo as the bayonet on the rifle: deadly, sure, but don't expect to kill with it too often.
As for the rest of the deck, I cut the minor Hippo sub-theme (Pygmy Hippo and both Phelddagrifs), in favor of a Seedborn Muse toolbox. This should give you some measure of board control while your Dreamborn Muses do their dirty business.
If the milling isn't working, for whatever reason, I've got yet another back-up plan: Multani, Maro-Sorcerer and Indentured Djinn form a combo so cute it wears diapers and asks you to buy its daddy's games.
Now, I'll admit that these decks have been tested about as much as Barry Bonds' urine. This means that feedback, criticism, and, heck, even outright abuse are most welcome! I've already written what some consider to be the worst article ever, so there is nowhere to go but up.
Once again, thanks for reading!
Chris Millar
Cmillar2 at hotmail dot com
Bibliography (Hey, it's pretentious. But it's useful. Plus I need to prove that I can read.)
