When looking at the Peasant Magic format, you have to ask yourself: "What is the best uncommon of all time?" After all, in the land of no rares, the uncommons must be kings, right?

Right?

Friggin' Wild Mongrel.

So when building a Pez deck, the uncommons are going to be your most powerful cards. This means you will want to make them to count. Back to the original question: "What is the best uncommon of all time?" If you answered the "Force of Will," you would be correct. However, one cannot build a deck built on a card that you only use once to tell the opponent "No!" and then go on your merry way. You need a card that wins the game.

So we need to rephrase our initial question: "What is the best uncommon kill condition in the game?" If you said Lightning Rift, then your thinking is right up my alley. Lightning Rift spawned countless decks based on it and placed player after player in top 8s for almost two years while it was in standard.

Well, now that we have our five uncommons out of the way, we can start on the deck.

Devil on the right shoulder:
"Play five copies and win! They'll never count!"

Angel on the left shoulder:
"Play five copies and win!"

You:
"Hey! You're not supposed to condone cheating!"

Angel on the left shoulder:
"I never said to cheat - I just said to play five."

You:
"How do I play five without cheating?"

Angel on the left shoulder:
"Enlightened Tutor, baby!"

You:
"Sweeeeet."

The deck so far:
4 Lightning Rift
1 Enlightened Tutor

Now for some cycling cards and lands:
4 Secluded Steppe
4 Forgotten Cave
4 Drifting Meadow
4 Smoldering Crater

Lands and cyclers wrapped into one? Yes! The deck is going to want to play a land every turn so that you can keep the UZIs firing - so we'll add landcyclers, a natural fit with the synergy of our deck.

4 Noble Templar
4 Chartooth Cougar

Unless you played Onslaught Limited, you probably don't know what these cards are but these under-achievers serve a valuable purpose in getting us more land, thinning out our deck - and, of course, triggering the Rift!

Let's talk mana: we have sixteen land and eight land cyclers, but if we want to lay a land every turn - and we do - we're gonna need some basics.

6 Mountain
6 Plains

That's a total of twenty-eight lands - but like I said before, this is a mana-hungry deck, so twenty-eight lands are just fine here.

So; nineteen cyclers left and we have a deck. I nominate Spark Spray because it costs R to cycle and can remove x/1 creatures before you draw a 'Rift.

4 Spark Spray

With no creatures coming out until turn 6, we will need more removal until we get our 'Rifts online. Solar Blast fits the bill, as does Radiant's Judgment.

4 Solar Blast
4 Radiant's Judgment

There really isn't any removal left in the commons bracket that cycles - but we need to live until our 'Rifts take over the game, so if there is no removal left, we turn to stall. And between Sunfire Balm and Renewed Faith, the Faith is the best one, as six life can give us a little wiggle room to draw the goods.

Three spots left, and I always like to have a way to kill enchantments and artifacts - so....

1 Wipe Clean
2 Scrap

The complete list:

"Excuse me, is that an UZI?".dec
4 Lightning Rift
1 Enlightened Tutor
4 Forgotten Cave
4 Secluded Steppe
4 Smoldering Crater
4 Drifting Meadow
4 Chartooth Cougar
4 Noble Templar
6 Mountain
6 Plains
4 Spark Spray
4 Solar Blast
4 Radiant's Judgment
4 Renewed Faith

Sideboard:
2 Wipe Clean (Gets the nod over Clear.)
1 Scrap
4 Razor Barrier (Counterspell those Naturalizes/Disenchants!)
4 Auramancer (Get back those Rifts!) (Why wouldn't you maindeck this as an early beater/defense in a creature-light deck? - T.F.)
4 Tragic Poet (Seriously, people can play way too much hate. you need to be resilient.)

This sideboard, with twelve spots dedicated to protecting your kill card, is absolutely vital people; will counter your 'Rifts and Disenchant them like they're going out of style. You have to be prepared.

If you are a newer player, then before you play this deck learn the phrase "end of turn." Always, always wait until the last moment to activate 'Rift. The opponent might play something you need to kill, like a hasty Ball Lightning - and if you foolishly Lightning Rift them on your turn, then you won't be able to stop their attacks. Landcycle during your upkeep if you couldn't do it at the end of the turn so that you will thin out your deck of non-cyclers; same with Enlightened Tutor. The only time its okay to Rift them on your turn is when you landcycle during your upkeep to better your draws or when you are going to win right then.

This deck is very consistent, so you will have to derive your fun from winning instead of playing a different game every time. (My most memorable kill came when I gave a Chartooth Cougar protection from my opponent's army with Razor Barrier and swung in for twelve damage when he was at exactly twelve.) The best thing about this deck is that you keep a huge grip the entire game and the deck never runs out of gas; with more than two-thirds of your deck cycling to draw your 'Rifts and then turning into damage once the Rift hits play it feels like you have the best combo ever!

Really, I play this deck on MWS all the time and I have never lost a 2-3 match with it. This deck is not unbeatable, though; a green Stompy deck almost got me with the power of Rogue Elephant. Game 2 gets better, though, because you can bring in 8 weenies to stall until you get out a Noble Templar and then it's in the bag.

Just for fun, I looked up how much this deck would be if you bought it from SCG - and the grand total with shipping was $29.35 Wow! These decks are cheap! Viva La Pez!

-Spartacvs