As I sit here in my sweltering room, I am reminded of the red-hot days of summer that are slowly fading away. It is in this ever-so inspiring environment that I bring you the red portion of my Onslaught Turn 'Em Casual! set review.

I will not bore you now with my thoughts of school or girl problems...I will instead simply plunge head first into the chaotic Gobliney goodness of Onslaught Red.

Just to note: Some of the Goblins in this set suck, but you may think they don't. I will try to point out where a goblin might seem good, but really just sucks.

Aggravated Assault
Well I for one am very impressed with this card. Seize the Day was a very cool card, and extra phases in multiplayer are always cool, but it didn't quite have the punch as a one timer that it needed. This is repeatable for a reasonable cost - and with enough mana it can quickly win you the game.

Airdrop Condor
It's a bird...It's red... It says Goblin on it! It may be a bit expensive but it definitely has potential. I can certainly see combo's arising with this thing. Imagine if you will attacking with tons of Goblins (perhaps generated by...oh, I don't know... Goblin Warrens?) and a Goblin Piledriver. Let the Piledriver deal his damage and then sac him to do it again! Brilliant!

Blistering Firecat
There are lots of reasons to love this card, the obvious one being that it truly is the new Ball Lightning, and everyone loves Ball Lightning. (Well, everyone who doesn't hate it that is). This card is in fact even better than the original Ball Lightning in Multiplayer because it can be played as a vanilla 2/2 to beatdown before it makes its explosive sendoff. The fact that it has morph will also allow it to be played in mono-blue Ixidor, Reality Sculptor decks, which is just kinda fun.

Brightstone Ritual
It won't give you the explosive starts that Dark Ritual will, but it will get you some higher costed cards a lot faster... Or allow you to finish off with huge red X spells. It can allow you to hurry out a Goblin Marshal - or even Skirk Fire Marshal, which as we all know makes other goblins more fun.

Butcher Orgg
This guy is a nice big hard to cast creature. Its ability is practically broken neglecting the cost, and can quickly make life miserable for any number of people sitting at the table with you. Look for this guy to get played in all sorts of decks that don't pay the "fair" price for creatures... Sneak Attack, Oath, or Reanimator.

Chain of Plasma
Wow! Chain Lightning is back... But now everyone with any cards gets to play too! I always loved Chain Lightning in multi, and this card is perhaps even more destructive and chaotic. Can often be used to great extent when opponents have empty hands or merely when you want a lot of damage caused to a lot of things. Try Radiating this puppy... Your friends will despise you for it. Look for it to be used in all sorts of direct damage decks.

Dragon Roost
AAAAAAHHH! Must have dragon tokens! Must have Roost to create tokens! Coolest enchantment ever!!!

Whoa... Sorry, there, trying to get a hold of myself. In truth I think that this is perhaps the coolest token generator of all time. It is very expensive, but it's worth it. This card has a lot of potential in multiplayer that it could never hope for in single. It can basically be used every turn once it's played, and having an airforce like that can unbalance the game very easily. Works best in decks that can produce a lot of mana fast and are red based.

Such as...perhaps...Wildfire?

I know the casual Wildfire I created was creatureless - but if you want an alternate route to victory, this may prove ideal.

Dwarven Blastminer
Nonbasics get played a lot in casual, and a lot of them can ruin your day. Maze of Ith, The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale, Dust Bowl, Gaea's Cradle... All these can be icky for you to staring at from the wrong side. This guy stops em dead. 'Nuff said.

Goblin Piledriver
This little guy should probably have cost a lot more than one and a red; at the very least it's a 1/2 goblin for two mana, which isn't too shabby when you're looking to put together a goblin deck. Throw in the protection from blue and the fact that he gets better for every other goblin you have and you've got yourself a winner and an absolute core card of every goblin deck from here on out. Surely a casual defining card for years to come.

Or maybe it's just a nifty goblin that people will like; your call.

Goblin Pyromancer
Blech... Don't like it, won't play it - good luck breaking it.

Goblin Sharpshooter
This little dude I like; I think I'm going to have to refer to him as that from now on too..."The little dude." It will kill every 1/1 on the table once it becomes active. (Then again, so will a Pyroclasm - but this has more flair.) Also, it's quite possible that there is a way to make some sort of infinite combo with this. Not a clue how, but let me know if you find out.

Goblin Sledder
Great cheap goblin. He's common, so the kiddies will be able to get them, and it makes a great finisher card in casual goblin decks. Any gobby deck I make will probably include four.

Goblin Taskmaster
A very nice common. It's very fairly costed; in fact I'd venture to say it's cheap. The morph is a nice bonus and is good for surprise factor; it makes every goblin you have on the table a must-block, and makes it useful in multiplayer for combat tricks. Note that it doesn't have to be"target goblin you control"...

Gratuitous Violence
That is one powerful red enchantment...And also a very powerful way to get yourself killed very quickly. Use with extreme caution.

Insurrection
What more can be said about this card that hasn't been already? Its an absolute house and will, in nine cases out of ten, win you the game outright if resolved. The big problem is when it's not resolved... And then everyone else wants to kill you, big time. Good luck surviving that gang-up, so use with extreme caution and preparation. Other than that, have fun with it! I know I will be.

Lightning Rift
The repeatable damage granted by this card is very useful. However in my area cycling was never big. If however you do encounter a lot of cycling (or expect to with the arrival of Onslaught), play this card. Being able to Shock that much is massive card advantage. I expect a lot of cycling once Onslaught comes in; the kiddies are ever so quick to jump on the "new" mechanics.

Nosy Goblin
I've found that the easiest way to kill a face-down creature tends to be dealing two damage to them. This doesn't always work, however, because sometimes annoying people will ruin your day by flipping them over so they are too tough to die from two damage. This gets around that. That being said, it's still a lot more unwieldy to use than say a Terror or Dark Banishing.

Reckless One
Hey...If you're going the goblin route anyway, you might as well include a big hasted one. Potentially ends the game later, especially when combined with Airdrop Condor.

Rorix Bladewing
A little less interesting than some of his legendary pit fighter brethren, but nonetheless still quite powerful. The thing that I think of when I look at him is the fact that he's a 6/5 hasted flyer, much like Spirit of the Night is. When converting my Reanimator deck to the new extended so I could play against some players at my store, I found myself sorely missing Spirit - but no more! It hurts a lot less to reanimate too!

Shaleskin Bruiser
The bonus it gets is substantial - and it does have trample. The problem is the cost and the fact that other beasts tend to be expensive, too. That being said, it will probably be a very good card to play in your beast deck... If you create such a thing, that is.

Skirk Fire Marshal
Hands-down, 100%, my favorite creature in the set. Rarely does such a card come along that affects multiplayer in such a substantial way: Not only will this go into various incarnations of Goblin decks but it will have decks completely devoted to its use. Barring lifegain (which, despite what I sounded like in my last article, I know is awesome in multiplayer...Sorry, Ferrett) will kill everyone in the game.

The only problem is that it kills you, too, so you can either play a little lifegain - or combo this with a spectacular card in Worship. Not only will you wipe out most every other creature and player in a few uses, you'll also have him stick around to keep your Worship active - and he can't be burned away!

Skirk Prospector
There's potential in that thar card! Heh...I made a prospector joke...

Anyway, this while costly, is Red mana acceleration - and there is precious little of that. Can be combined with Brightstone Ritual for a finisher X spell. Just make sure to use them in the right order.

Slice and Dice
Red needed something like this; something simple that just deals a good chunk of damage to all creatures, and the cycling's just a bonus. This is a perfect fit into casual Wildfire, since it will do damage to all creatures but not you. Thus, everyone gets hurt but you - and the day is good!

Sparksmith
A very nifty and powerful effect, but it will probably get a little bit painful. The only problem is that you can only take the whole X and nothing but the X, so help you...

Never mind.

It will often do too much damage in a game to be worth playing it. More suited to a one-on-one goblin deck, I think.

Starstorm
Yeah...remember when I said that red needed something simple that deals damage just to all creatures and not players? Well, this one is even better than Slice and Dice. It's X damage to all creatures at instant speed, for goodness sakes!

The cycling is useful, but I doubt I'll ever not want to have this card in a multiplayer game. I like it way better than Earthquake, since it fits my tastes a lot better. It is an instantaneous inclusion in casual Wildfire.

Tephraderm
I believe that Anthony Alongi would say that this card is extremely rattlesnakey; basically, no one out there is going to actually want to touch the thing, and you will be mostly unobstructed from using it to kill people. Eventually, someone will have to take the hit - and then you have your target.

Threaten
Red gets stuff that blue doesn't...Yes!!! It's simple, versatile, and in multiplayer it will often have some extremely attractive targets for you. When used well, it can do damage to an opponent and get an opponent's creature killed at the same time.

Words of War
And finally, we have this little beauty. Like the rest of the Words cycle, I love this card. This one is also probably the most powerful member of said cycle. It's not quite Cursed Scroll, since it does prevent you from drawing a card and the damage isn't colorless... But it is cheaper to activate and it allows you to deal damage every turn. May actually see some Type 1 play; not sure yet. Works extremely well with Browbeat. If you decide to run Urza's Blueprints in casual Wildfire, be sure to include some of these.

Well, there you have it... That's what I think is going to be the multiplayer gems out of Onslaught for Red. Red got some great ones - some even more influential, perhaps, than Blue. Well maybe not, but red did get a lot of what it's good at. It got big chaotic effects, huge powerful sorceries, nifty annoying Goblins, and some sweet direct damage.

Burn in good health...Other people, that is.

Sam Zitin
Sped2500@aol.com