Ryan and I met up with Mike Donovan at Hobbytown to form the Saint Louis representation at the Lincoln, Nebraska PTQ. Between the three of us, we racked up an impressive 5-6 record, with only one win coming from playing each other. Go, Saint Louis, go!

Here's my card pool for this week:

LAND
Bog Wreckage
Seafloor Debris

ARTIFACT
Darkwater Egg
Catalyst Stone
Steamclaw
Sandstone Deadfall

BLACK
Zombie Cannibal
Crypt Creeper
Filthy Cur
Zombie Infestation
Fledgling Imp
Overeager Apprentice
Famished Ghoul
Whispering Shade
Mind Burst
Morgue Theft
Last Rites
2 Patriarch's Desire

GREEN
Chatter of the Squirrel
Werebear
Krosan Avenger
Springing Tiger
Zoologist
Rabid Elephant
Leaf Dancer
Metamorphic Wurm
Simplify
Howling Gale
Moment's Peace
Rites of Spring
Refresh

BLUE
2 Phantom Whelp
Cephalid Looter
Cephalid Broker
Dreamwinder
Scrivener
Peek
Aura Graft
Words of Wisdom
Deluge
2 Dematerialize
Repel
Syncopate

WHITE
2 Dedicated Martyr
Angelic Wall
2 Beloved Chaplain
Auramancer
2 Hallowed Healer
Pilgrim of Justice
Pilgrim of Virtue
Lieutenant Kirtar
Shelter
Delaying Shield
Sphere of Duty

RED
Dwarven Grunt
Barbarian Lunatic
Dwarven Recruiter
Pardic Swordsmith
2 Halberdier
2 Pardic Firecat
Magnivore
2 Firebolt
Magma Vein
Earth Rift
Scorching Missile
Steam Vines

Double Healer and double Beloved Chaplain, eh? I guess I'm playing White. Green has my best creature base (though it's still a little thin), so I have to run it as well or I'll wind up with twelve creatures. Splashing for removal and kill cards in the strategy that almost worked last week, I came up with:

1CC
Darkwater Egg

2CC
Angelic Wall
2 Beloved Chaplain
Werebear
Shelter
Rites of Spring
Morgue Theft
Steamclaw

3CC
Auramancer
2 Hallowed Healer
Lieutenant Kirtar
Krosan Avenger
Leaf Dancer
Refresh
Deluge
Sandstone Deadfall

4CC
Springing Tiger
Zoologist
2 Patriarch's Desire

5CC
Rabid Elephant
Metamorphic Wurm

7 Forests
6 Plains
2 Swamps
Bog Wreckage
Island

For those of you counting, that's now three straight weeks of playing double Healer and not making a top eight. Some might find this depressing, but I just think of it as something else to add to my resume in case I want to make a bid for"Worst Player in the World."

Round 1: Steve Spomer G/W/R/b

Game 1: I keep a hand with strong white cards and no white mana. Steve plays turn three Hallowed Healer and turn four Wild Mongrel while I continue to draw no plains, Rites of Spring, or Patriarch's Desire.

Game 2: Steve has to mulligan twice and draws into too few creatures. With his seventh land drop comes Roar of the Wurm, but I have Steamclaw to stop the Flashback - and soon after, my Metamorphic Wurm reaches threshold and overpowers him.

Game 3: The usual white/green on white/green creature stall occurs, as Steve has a Nomad Decoy, a Chainflinger, and Roar of the Wurm tokens to my Hallowed Healers, Beloved Chaplains and fat too small to bust through a Wurm. Eventually I remove the Decoy, but Steve gets a Hallowed Healer of his own - and as soon as it loses summoning sickness, it will be almost impossible for me to get damage through.

Fortunately, the turn after he plays his Healer, I draw into Deluge."Attack with everything, Deluge before blockers." I squeak by just enough damage to finish him. It turns out he was waiting for a splashed Vampiric Dragon (Eep!).

Round 2: Ryan Gilmer G/u/b

Game 1: Elephant Ambush followed by Pulsating Illusion (which I Patriarch's Desire) followed by Beast Attack is too much for me to handle, having drawn too many tricks and not enough creatures.

Game 2: It turns out that Ryan has only a single Patriarch's Desire for removal, which he uses on my Leaf Dancer. An early Krosan Avenger and Metamorphic Wurm threaten to trade with his Elephant token, and he holds back long enough for me to draw into Hallowed Healer. With no removal left in the deck, my Healer (soon followed by another Healer and a Sphere of Duty) dominates the board, but I still can't punch through. Playing forty-one cards and having one of my creatures Repelled early, and Ryan's use of Rites of Spring give me the edge in the decking war, so Ryan makes a suicidal all-out attack at the last minute just so he would die honorably to lethal damage instead.

Game 3: Ryan sides out green for red, hoping to make my Leaf Dancer and Sphere of Duty dead. Unfortunately, his red is creature-light and I get a crazy beatdown draw, casting Patriarch's Desire on his two non-Ember Beast creatures and coming in for exactly enough damage on the final extra turn.

Round 3: Mike Cevette R/W

Once again I am deck-checked - and this time it's my opponent who gets a game loss for losing one of his Kirtar's Desires somewhere. After that, everything starts to go downhill for me.

Game 2: Mike is playing with cards like Dedicated Martyr, random Pilgrims, and Scorching Missile. Unfortunately, they work pretty well in this game, as I am late to drop a relevant creature... And by the time I can start a counter-offense Mike's Mystic Zealot has taken to the skies. When a Wayward Angel joins the party, I have to scoop.

Game 3: This time I'm prepared for Wayward Angel with my Sandstone Deadfall. Mike attacks into it, presumably to put me a bit land-shy. I have to remove it, but am quite relieved that the worst is over.

Then Mike drops another second Wayward Angel.

Now I have to sacrifice my Steamclaw to stop him from hitting threshold immediately and stay alive. My only hope is to draw into Patriarch's Desire before he hits threshold. I get it with only four life to spare, and die soon after to the same Mystic Zealot with threshold that killed me in game 2. But I killed two Wayward Angels! Sigh.

Round 4: Steve Saffell R/G/W

Game 1: I have to mulligan two one-land hands. Steve comes out swinging with Pardic Firecat and Frenetic Ogre, which nothing that I draw can trade with. I play a Zoologist and bluff him out for a few turns, but he plays Aven Archer and starts attacking with it, gambling on my deck not packing enough fliers to matter... And a few turns later, it pays off.

Game 2: Freaked out by his three-toughness creatures, I side out black and blue for red with Firebolts and Halberdiers. Firebolt is even better than Patriarch's Desire, right? I Firebolt some early thing and his Aven Archer, but I don't draw into an offense - and when Chainflinger hits the table it wrecks me. I end the game with two Hallowed Healers in hand.

As I played round four, I caught a snippet of conversation from the player to my right (whom I shall call Gus in order to protect my ignorance of his real name):"I Demise your Repentant Vampire." If the controller of the Vampire has threshold, of course, then Repentant Vampire is white and this is a perfectly legitimate move. I briefly glance over to their play area, expecting to be amused by the unlikely death of a formerly black creature.

Instead I see that the player putting a Repentant Vampire into his graveyard (a fairly young kid) has only three or four other cards there.

"Did you just Demise a black creature?" I offhandedly comment to Gus. Then I continue to play my game.

"Hey, that's right!" exclaims the kid, returning his Vampire to play. Gus makes some indignant noises about my helping his opponent, but declines to call a judge over, takes back his Demise, and continues playing.

As I'm lurking about later in the day watching the top tables and waiting for the booster draft to start, Gus confronts me and tells me that he lost the match because of my interference, and in the future I should mind my own business, and I wouldn't want him doing something like that to me, now would I? I mumble that there's no point in discussing the issue, and he leaves me be.

But I would like to state now to all of my readers (Hi, Mom!): if you ever see me make an illegal play to my advantage, whether it be Banishing a black creature or not destroying my own creatures after Void or overpaying for a spell and not taking mana burn, tell me. Tell me then and there, and I could care less whether you bother a judge to do it. I am always trying to improve my play, and I would ask someone to look over my shoulder and watch for misplays every game if I could. And to all those whom I will bother in the future with my meddling, I apologize. I do not know you or care whether you win or lose. But I do want to see Magic played by the rules, and if you believe you are entitled to a win that only came about because you accidentally made an illegal play, you are fooling yourself.

Later in the day, after calling a judge over when I noticed a timing error involving an attacker with first strike, an attacker without first strike, an Aether Burst and a trained yak, I apologized to the head judge for being such a busybody.

"That's okay. I know you are. You have a record on the Judge's page."

I…see. Good to be known somewhere, I guess.

The top eight was Dan Burdick and seven people I didn't know. Dan took the slot with a black/blue deck (with three Looters, one taken over Chamber of Manipulation!) splashing red for a Chainflinger and a Shower of Coals.

Next report will be in two weeks, when I make the drive to Omaha.

Aaron"Darth" Hauptmann
Team Chub Toad
Now 4-5 lifetime in Nebraska PTQs.