I had been asked to take my rogue deck into a PTQ by a friend to see how it would fare against the Tier 1 Onslaught Block decks. It's true that when Onslaught first came out, I thought some of these cards are crazy sick, both in power and the sheer fun I could have with this small pool of cards. And though I can have a one-track mind sometimes, I think that my deck is viable... To an extent. It's not perfect, but there's always room for testing, and my skills in developing sideboards are just pretty lame.

Like the writer's guidelines say: There are no good individual cards - just good decks that struggle in their paper-rock-scissors way of life. I won't tell you that my deck is good against the best, but I have had fun and my wins can leave people frustrated. I mean, I can smell the POed mood they give off after the game is over.

Before I begin, let me explain the name of my deck. There were too many Chrises in elementary school, so I found a new name for myself, which has stuck since the third grade: CB. And as such, I try to find things that can match the initials of my name, such as: Cheese Burger, C Bert, C Bot, Cinnamon Bun, and so forth.

Clerical Buttwhooping, a.k.a. Clerics Bash v2.0
8 Plains
8 Swamp
2 Secluded Steppe
2 Barren Moor
2 Starlit Sanctum
2 Unholy Grotto
(24 Land)

4 Weathered Wayfarer
4 Dark Supplicant
1 Scion Of Darkness
3 Edgewalker
4 Cabal Archon
4 Rotlung Reanimator
4 Nova Cleric
(24 Creatures)

2 Akroma's Vengeance
2 Decree of Pain
4 Wing Shards
4 Smother
3 Oversold Cemetery
(15 Other) (63 Cards Main Deck)

Sideboard:
3 Shared Triumph
2 Cruel Revival
2 Stabilizer
3 Pacifism
4 Silver Knight
1 Akroma's Vengeance

I'll only do comments on certain cards:

Nova Cleric:
That extra point of toughness helps sometimes, whether I sac it for life with my Starlit Sanctum, or to block a foolish player's */1 creature.

Weathered Wayfarer
It surprises me when I see people let this live for even one turn. Getting my next land drop or cycling land seems a little better than paying a total of 5WW, like some people do with a silly Eternal Dragon. (No, I'm not stupid. I'm just trying to make this article interesting.)

Rotlung Reanimator
You should see the faces of some people when they're forced to clear the board when I have a double Rotlung Reanimator, plus a couple of other clerics in play. This is what makes my deck work - and it also happens to be my only zombie in the deck. Sometimes the Unholy Grotto/Rotlung plus a way to sac it to damage a player got me the win.

Dark Supplicant
Another booboo my opponents make is letting this guy live, too. In two turns, I can get the three clerics I need to sac - and sometimes one of them is a Rotlung Reanimator. Turn 4: Swing for twelve, put your Eternal Dragon or Silver Knight into play on my side. Of course, half that damage and the abduction is all thanks to....

Scion of Darkness
A good cleric deck seems to only pack one of these fatties... With reason. Rarely do you get the opportunity to play another one.

Edgewalker
Saving up my black mana for sacrificing purposes is quite useful... Especially when I have a Starlit Sanctum or a Cabal Archon in play

Decree of Pain
I might cycle this with damage on the stack to kill a decent-sized creature, or hard-cast it to draw cards and leave zombies in its wake. Card advantage is tech, ja?

Shared Triumph
Honestly, I haven't sideboarded this is with good thought - I put this in to protect my guys from Shocks and Lightning Rifts. But I will tell you again that my sideboarding skills are about a four out of ten.

That's all I will say about my deck. Clerics are pretty straightforward (I hope), with a touch of control. I should also comment of my abilities to playtest. Let's get to the PTQ!

The PTQ was in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This is my first PTQ ever, and hopefully not my last. I tried to read up on certain rules and ways to be prepared. So in the beginning, things went well as far as staying sane in a barely air-conditioned building.

Round 1: A guy playing Zombie Discard.
...At least, that's all I saw. The two games I played him, he did nothing but make me discard with Unburden and Chain of Smog with a hint of Cabal Interrogator, and then he played some Twisted Abominations. He removed a few cards from my yard with Withered Wretch, but it fueled my fire with Rotlung when he Decree of Pained the board. He drew eight cards and I made eight zombies with double Rotlung Reanimator in play. I didn't even need to sideboard.

Record: 2-0, 1-0.

Round 2: B/R Goblins
I felt scared at first, but then I was able to race him out of life and creatures. Second game, I played turn 2 Silver Knight, turn 3 Silver Knight - but he had Clickslither, Siege-Gang Commander, and Goblin Piledrivers. Oh, and I saw his 'boarded Sulfuric Vortex and got Shocked three times. Third game, I was in control again and outraced him out with Silver Knight and Scion of Darkness, which plucked a Goblin Piledriver from his graveyard to serve as a chump blocker.

Sideboard: 4 Silver Knight, -1 Decree Of Pain, -1 Edgewalker, -1 Barren Moor, -1 Wing Shards.

A better sideboarding plan would've probably been: -3 Edgewalker and -1 Decree of Pain.

Record: 4-1, 2-0.

Round 3: R/W control.
I outrace him in the first with Scion of Darkness, with mana open for Wing Shards to fend off any possible creatures with haste. Second game, I thought he switched to Mono White, but he just didn't find any Mountains, beating me with Eternal Dragon and Akroma, Angel of Wrath.

The third game was like Jedi Mind Trick camp and I was the dummy. Late in the game, I was at five life and he was at twenty. He laid a Lightning Rift, tapping out in the process.

I said,"Ah, putting me on the clock, eh?" Then he said Go. I forgot that I had Dark Supplicant out with clerics and Rotlung and... untapped... my.. land....

...Without sacking them at the end of the turn.

This was my first dumbass mistake of the day. I made a fair amount of those.

Thoughtful Sideboard: -3 Edgewalker, -4 Smother, -1 Barren Moor. +2 Cruel Revival, +4 Silver Knight, And +2 Stabilizer.

With so little direct damage in the beginning of the match, it was my belief that Weathered Wayfarer would live long enough to get me the land I need.

Record: 5-3, 2-1

Lunch Break
Went to a Pizza Hut and had a cute girl get me drinks while I was at the buffet line.

Round 4: Goblins
I got outraced while I was trying to figure out whether to Smother one of the two active Goblin Sharpshooters or the Goblin Warchief. Round two never happened, as my second dumbass mistake was not checking to see whether I had fifteen cards left after sideboarding. Had I had another five seconds to think, I'd have called the judge myself. I felt pretty stupid.

Wishful sideboard: 4 Silver Knight, -3 Edgewalker And -1 Barren Moor.

Record - 5-5, 2-2

Round 5: R/W Control
The first game went in my favor, as I had double-Oversold Cemetery and a Cabal Archon in play and a Rotlung to boot. Game two, I played a turn 3 Stabilizer, but I had to Akroma's Vengeance because he had an Exalted Angel out and life was becoming less of an option for me anyway. I still died. Third game, midway through it he cycled Decree of Annihilation with no creatures in play. (Why? - The Ferrett) I drew more land and won with a good ol' cleric buttwhoopin'.

Sideboard: Same as the last R/W matchup.

Record: 7-6, 3-2

I realized I wasn't doing too well, but I wanted to play it out for one more round. Unfortunately for me, I got paired up with....

Round 6: R/W Control (Again!)
I won't go into detail, except for my last mistake of the night. Sometimes I get the best feeling in the world and it blows up in my face - such as not attacking first, and then casting my creatures to sac them to Cabal Archon.

Final record: 8-8, 3-3 drop.

After writing this, I realize that my deck isn't too bad. It needed work anyway, but I enjoyed myself so much that my record didn't matter. I needed to pay attention to what was happening, since I acted too quickly: It cost me three games. Maybe when I have more time for it, I can playtest on Apprentice more.

Final Thoughts:
Let's see what I learn about being a novice player. Given that I didn't use the Shared Triumphs in my sideboard, I think I should replace them with another Stabilizer and something else. I've never had an enjoyable experience with Doubtless One in my deck, so I should really consider finding room for Withered Wretch main or sideboard. I always thought about Renewed Faith, but I didn't want to cut my cleric count or remove any utility for it; maybe I should remove the Unholy Grotto, because the Rotlung is my only Zombie, and Oversold Cemetery is good enough for recursion. Perhaps I'll add another swamp and mess around with Temple of the False God!

Oh well! Better luck next time. I will learn from my past mistakes and go on with my low ratings and fun times.

CB
bct_NOSPAMcbot@hotmail.com