Back in October, I had a chance to go and visit some family members. Due to the fact that we aren't blood relatives, there wasn't much love there... but even if we were it still was a lot of work to try to get them to be friendly. I met them in Columbus, Ohio with the anticipation that everything would go well.

How wrong I was.

Of course, once you see who I was meeting with you could understand. The first relative was Aunt Selesnya. She reminds you of Annie Camden, the mother from Seventh Heaven. She was all nice up front with her full entourage, but unless you were one of her favorites you were lucky if you got a second helping at the dinner table.

Beside her was her husband, Uncle Dimir. Uncle Dimir is a spitting image of that guy Larry from Three's Company. (yes, I know my age is showing). A slick fella that you know would sell your eyeteeth before he would break a dollar for you. While she is all about the family, he'd rather hide out by himself in the garage planning, as he calls it, “the next big thing!” I didn't get much love from Aunt Selesnya, but it was better than the cold shoulder from Uncle Dimir. A head nod, and off he goes.

Right behind them are the cousins: Boros and Golgari. I saw a blur of movement, and then I get poked in the back by cousin Boros. He's a pain. Really. “Dennis the Menace” type of pain. He means well, but everywhere he goes... chaos reigns. Something gets broken, and he's ZOOOOM!!!......... gone! Outta' there. “It wasn't my fault, it was his!” Quick and dangerous.

Cousin Golgari, on the other hand, walks with a slow steady pace. We call her Lydia, after Winona Ryder's character on Beetlejuice. She's a goth chick with the attitude to match. She loves depressing poetry and creepy, dead things. So much so I see that her necklace is actually made of rat bones formed in the likeness of Edgar Allen Poe. Ick. I did mention that we aren't blood relatives, right?

We met for a day and it started out fine. I hung around with Aunt Selesnya and Cousin Golgari the most, had a little bit of fun, and then after two rounds of bickering back and forth they decided to quit on me. I wasn't impressed, and said as much.

Bad idea.

I was pretty much written out of the will. No great prizes to look forward to, and within a few hours I'm back at home wondering why I was surprised my relatives let me down. I was done for awhile with family reunions. Of course, until four months later.

Then another opportunity presented itself to go to Columbus to meet some other members of my family. It was a smaller, more distant part of the family, but I promised I would go and say hi, and I like to keep my word. Unfortunately, other personal family issues came up and I wasn't able to meet them in Columbus. I had to call ahead and tell them we would have to postpone. It was then recommended that they could come up to see me. I wasn't sure about that, with how everything went with the last relatives, but they assured me we would have a good time. So to prepare, I checked out the family albums and other paraphernalia to get a leg up and be ready for any surprises.

Suddenly, on a Friday night, they called and said they were in the area and ready to meet me. I was just getting ready to start drafting triple Guildpact at my local card/comic shop. Why now, I asked myself, but it was too late. They were coming through the front door.

First through the door was Uncle Izzet. He is a goofy-looking and funny guy. He reminds me of Uncle Frank in the 80's movie One Crazy Summer with John Cusack. Uncle Frank was the lottery-crazed madman in the upstairs bedroom. Ah... Uncle Frank. He focuses on one thing and forgets everything else. As soon as he gets through the door, he comes up to me with a huge grin, shakes my hand, and walks toward the myriad of board games hanging on the walls.

After Uncle Izzet was little cousin Orzhov. She is cute, but I found out very quickly she gets her way. If you have children, you are probably familiar with the Rugrats cartoon (or if you watch this and don't have children, you must enjoy beating your head against a nail-studded wall). Orzhov is Miss Angelica Pickles to a tee. She likes to have things in order. Her order. If they aren't she'll pester, and pick, and prod, and well, you understand. After awhile you just give in and realize she isn't that cute anymore.

Bringing up the rear was Orzhov's big brother Gruul. One of the biggest bullies I have ever come into contact with, on or off the playground. Just like Chet from that movie Weird Science. (“You're stewed, buttwad!”) Where Orzhov pokes and pokes, Gruul just barges through with loud bellowing. Once he showed up, all of the little kids playing Yu-gi-Oh! wet their pants, dropped their cards, and ran.

Orzhov mentioned that he eats fifth-graders. Supposedly, they keep his teeth sparkling white.

I had a feeling this family gathering was going to be good.

Did you just happen to see the huge word “sarcasm” plastered across your screen?

I thought so.

Well, I was stuck. I wanted to play in the Draft tournament, but I couldn't ditch my relatives. What to do? Fortunately, two of the three were busy elsewhere in the store. Uncle Izzet with his new Lord of the Rings Risk game, and Brother Gruul with the Raw Deal wrestling card players. Unfortunately for them, Gruul wasn't using cards.

So I only had to contend with cute and menacing Orzhov.

Happy

Happy

Joy

Joy

Happy

Happy

Joy

Joy

*Smack*

*Beat*

*Crush*

*Pound*

....Uh....sorry about that. Happy is now on the ground with multiple concussions and Joy is bleeding profusely.

Back to our schedule article....

Orzhov actually wanted to help me out here. She was fascinated by the cool pictures on the cards, and asked if she could help me pick the right ones.

I obviously said, “NO!”

*Buzz* Wrong answer.

Ten minutes and fifty screams later, she was sitting right beside me ready to draft.

People, if you have a decent family, appreciate them.

Here we go with the picks and I'll throw in a little bit of that “what would you do?” white space.

...

Pack 1, Pick 1

Spelltithe Enforcer; Agent of Masks; Plagued Rusalka; Vertigo Spawn; Guardian's Magemark; Izzet Signet; Wild Cantor; Poisonbelly Ogre; Beastmaster's Magemark; Train of Thought; Douse in Gloom; Absolver Thrull; Torch Drake; Pillory of the Sleepless; Gruul Turf.

I was split between Spelltithe Enforcer and Pillory of the Sleepless. Pillory is the better card, but the Enforcer wasn't terrible. Little cousin Orzhov made up my mind for me.

“I like Elephants.” she said.

I said, “Well this other card is probably the better choice”.

“I don't care, I like Elephants.” she said.

I said, “Don't you want to win?”

“I LIKE ELEPHANTS!” she shrieked.

My pick: Spelltithe Enforcer

Pack 1, Pick 2

Vertigo Spawn; Daggerclaw Imp; Castigate; Izzet Boilerworks; Restless Bones; Ghost Warden; Scab-Clan Mauler; Orzhov Euthanist; Tin-Street Hooligan; Gigadrowse; Silhana Ledgewalker; Izzet Chronarch; Wildsize; Ghor-Clan Bloodscale.

This one wasn't too bad, and Orzhov was getting distracted by the guys down the way that pulled that foil Culling Sun.

My pick: Daggerclaw Imp

Pack 1, Pick 3

Pillory of the Sleepless; Guardian's Magemark; Poisonbelly Ogre; Wild Cantor; Gruul Scrapper; Gruul Turf; Skarrgan Skybreaker; Torch Drake; Absolver Thrull; Hypervolt Grasp; Necromancer's Magemark; Beastmaster's Magemark; Orzhova, Church of Deals.

Easy choice here, and she didn't see the land; otherwise we would have had another shouting match. I picked it quickly and passed down.

My pick: Pillory of the Sleepless

Pack 1, Pick 4

Vedalken Plotter; Revenant Patriarch; Pillory of the Sleepless; Absolver Thrull; Douse in Gloom; Leap of Flame; Tin-Street Hooligan; Beastmaster's Magemark; Guardian's Magemark; To Arms!; Train of Thought; Torch Drake.

I was about to pick my second Pillory of the Sleepless, but Orzhov thought the Torch Drake was “pretty”. Fortunately, I showed her that the guy in the stocks looked like her big brother and she let me have it. Note: later, she told Gruul and now I no longer have a spleen.

My pick: Pillory of the Sleepless

Pack 1, Pick 5

Douse in Gloom; Smogsteed Rider; Fencer's Magemark; Absolver Thrull; Guardian's Magemark; Ghor-Clan Savage; Poisonbelly Ogre; Bloodscale Prowler; Izzet Signet; Gruul Nodorog; Leap of Flame.

Orzhov was still laughing about Gruul and so she thought the Poisonbelly Ogre would be even funnier. I then pointed out to her the D&D players that Gruul was tormenting, and slipped this one past her.

My pick: Douse in Gloom

Pack 1, Pick 6

Ostiary Thrull; Poisonbelly Ogre; Withstand; Nivix, Aerie of the Firemind; Bloodscale Prowler; Infiltrator's Magemark; Order of the Stars; Exhumer Thrull; Runeboggle; Skyrider Trainee.

I did like the path I was going with this, but I knew I wanted to splash a little Blue for the Infiltrator's Magemark. Unblockable goodness. (Yea, so there are four walls in Guildpact and eight in Ravnica. I still like it!) Unfortunately, Orzhov thought the best pick was the Ostiary Thrull. She's a freak of nature, and I couldn't stand another screaming fit.

My pick: Ostiary Thrull

Pack 1, Pick 7

Revenant Patriarch; Orzhov Basilica; Silhana Starfletcher; Wild Cantor; Cremate; Skyrider Trainee; Crystal Seer; Bloodscale Prowler; Battering Wurm.

From this point, Orzhov left me alone for awhile to ask Uncle Izzet if he can buy her some boxes of Guildpact. That poor man's wallet. On the other hand, I picked the only decent card and though I might be able to use its ability. Sideboarded it in only twice, played once, and didn't use the ability. Such is life.

My pick: Revenant Patriarch

Pack 1, Pick 8

Necromancer's Magemark; Gruul Scrapper; Poisonbelly Ogre; Gruul Turf; Guardian's Magemark; Runeboggle; Shattering Spree; Starved Rusalka.

Either one of the Magemarks would have been fine, but I choose recursion over surprise.

My pick: Necromancer's Magemark

Pack 1, Pick 9

Absolver Thrull; Orzhova, Church of Deals; Ghor-Clan Savage; Bloodscale Prowler; Gruul Nodorog; Guardian's Magemark; Leap of Flame.

I am again lucky to not have her around. I grab that Absolver Thrull pretty quick. Enchantments are plentiful and I want to be ready to get rid of them.

My pick: Absolver Thrull

Pack 1, Pick 10

Izzet Signet; Cremate; Shattering Spree; Gruul Nodorog; Petrahydrox; Benediction of Moons.

From here on out they were pretty easy choices. Signets are always good.

My pick: Izzet Signet

Pack 1, Pick 11

Guardian's Magemark; Absolver Thrull; Poisonbelly Ogre; Gruul Turf; Izzet Signet.

No surprise here.

My pick: Guardian's Magemark

Pack 1, Pick 12

Izzet Chronarch; Tin-Street Hooligan; Izzet Boilerworks; Gigadrowse.

Yes, I could have went with the Gigadrowse, but I didn't want anyone to recur a ton of instant damage against me.

My pick: Izzet Chronarch

Pack 1, Pick 13

Gruul Turf; Gruul Scrapper; Guardian's Magemark.

This was one of my blind picks. I looked quickly, didn't care, and grabbed. I don't believe it mattered much.

My pick: Gruul Turf

Pack 1, Pick 14

Vedalken Plotter; Absolver Thrull.

This was a great pass. I actually used the Absolver Thrulls pretty often and they removed a few Pillories and Magemarks.

My pick: Absolver Thrull

Pack 1, Pass 15

Gruul Nodorog

Orzhov is done and she has four boxes of Guildpact. Unfortunately for me, she's not really into sharing (I asked). Gruul took her boxes out to the car so that she could now stay with me and make sure I didn't pick any bad cards.

Uh, right.

Pack 2, Pick 1

Wurmweaver Coil; Mortify; Ogre Savant; Repeal; Scab-Clan Mauler; Izzet Boilerworks; Ghost Warden; Skyrider Trainee; Runeboggle; Mourning Thrull; Shrieking Grotesque; Martyred Rusalka; Nivix, Aerie of the Firemind; Cry of Contrition; Ogre Savant.

On this pack, we both were torn. I didn't want to let the Wurmweaver Coil go to another, but that Mortify was staring me in the face. Orzhov made the final decision saying that she liked wurms, and that guy in the Black and White card was scary. Who am I to say no to someone who can cause me to look like that same guy just by their voice? I did find out later that the person I was passing to was working with Red/Green, and he hated the Mortify. Funny world, huh?

My pick: Wurmweaver Coil

Pack 2, Pick 2

Dune-Brood Nephilim; Blind Hunter; Battering Wurm; Schizmotivate; Cry of Contrition; Wild Cantor; Crystal Seer; Skyrider Trainee; Izzet Chronarch; Withstand; Bloodscale Prowler; Silhana Starfletcher; Douse in Gloom; Orzhova, Church of Deals.

Fortune wasn't with me this time. “Hey, that card almost has my name on it. Pick it! Pick it! PICK IT!”

Finally, the many lessons at The David Blaine Online College of Slight of Hand for People Who Can't Perform Magic paid off. She didn't notice a thing.

My pick: Blind Hunter

Pack 2, Pick 3

Blind Hunter; Burning-Tree Bloodscale; Cry of Contrition; Orzhov Signet; Ogre Savant; Ostiary Thrull; Wildsize; Beastmaster's Magemark; Crash Landing; Wreak Havoc; Crystal Seer; To Arms!; Steamcore Weird.

I worked it out on this one, sly dog that I am. I told Orzhov that since I picked the land last time, she should let me have this one. She was having a good time bossing me around and said, “Ok, but no more. He's ugly.” I first thought she was talking about her brother Gruul and said that I couldn't agree more. I'm just glad she didn't see the Orzhov Signet.

My pick: Blind Hunter

Pack 2, Pick 4

Ghost Warden; Gatherer of Graces; Runeboggle; Skyrider Trainee; Petrahydrox; Restless Bones; Izzet Boilerworks; Scab-Clan Mauler; Ghor-Clan Savage; Ogre Savant; Rabble-Rouser; Siege of Towers.

Along with Elephants and Wurms, Orzhov likes Ghosts. I really don't know how they mix together, but I was willing to go with her on this.

My pick: Ghost Warden

Pack 2, Pick 5

Orzhov Signet; Torch Drake; Castigate; Gruul Scrapper; Leap of Flame; Lionheart Maverick; Cry of Contrition; Ghor-Clan Bloodscale; Dryad Sophisticate; Necromancer's Magemark; Tin-Street Hooligan.

She did not like that fat ugly guy on Castigate, and then she saw her favorite card. Yep, you guessed it. I don't have to tell you do I?

My pick: Orzhov Signet

Pack 2, Pick 6

Infiltrator's Magemark; Fencer's Magemark; Skarrgan Pit-Skulk; Schizmotivate; Wee Dragonauts; Gruul Signet; Scab-Clan Mauler; Gruul Turf; Train of Thought; Vedalken Plotter

Since this pack didn't have Orzhova, Church of Deals or Orzhov Signet, she went over to the where the D&D players were mashed into the floor and picked out which dice she thought were pretty. This was my chance to get into Blue. What better choice then with....

My pick: Infiltrator's Magemark

Pack 2, Pick 7

Stratozeppelid; Infiltrator's Magemark; Gruul Scrapper; Gruul Signet; Guardian's Magemark; Train of Thought; Leap of Flame; Conjurer's Ban; Silhana Ledgewalker.

She's still picking up the pieces. A 4/4 flyer for five. What? It can't block? That's alright, its still good enough for me.

My pick: Stratozeppelid

Pack 2, Pick 8

Infiltrator's Magemark; Scab-Clan Mauler; Crystal Seer; Vertigo Spawn; Ghor-Clan Bloodscale; Gruul Signet; Gruul Turf; Skarrgan Pit-Skulk.

Again, another unblockable creature for me. Damage for my opponent and no ‘lil miss Orzhov. Life is good.

My pick: Infiltrator's Magemark

Pack 2, Pick 9

Train of Thought; Orzhov Signet; Runeboggle; Gatherer of Graces; Beastmaster's Magemark; Lionheart Maverick; Leap of Flame.

I was feeling pretty good and there really weren't any better cards in this pack. I caught Orzhov's attention and showed her the signet I picked. She was so happy and said, “Well at least you picked the right one.” That's gratitude for ya'.

My pick: Orzhov Signet

Pack 2, Pick 10

Izzet Chronarch; Cry of Contrition; Lionheart Maverick; Beastmaster's Magemark; Crystal Seer; Aetherplasm.

Yes, another hate draft on this card. I honestly believe that this is one of the lynchpins for the Blue/Red Draft deck. It is mine.

My pick: Izzet Chronarch

Pack 2, Pick 11

Skyrider Trainee; Cry of Contrition; Nivix, Aerie of the Firemind; Runeboggle; Scab-Clan Mauler.

Here is a decent sideboard choice or good body, especially with one of the Magemarks, but it's not like you didn't know that.

My pick: Skyrider Trainee

Pack 2, Pick 12

Izzet Chronarch; Crystal Seer; Skyrider Trainee; Battering Wurm.

Ha! Again.

My pick: Izzet Chronarch

Pack 2, Pick 13

Crash Landing; Beastmaster's Magemark; Crystal Seer.

With all of my flyers so far this would be a bad card to have to face. Snag.

My pick: Crash Landing

Pack 2, Pick 14

Ghor-Clan Savage; Rabble-Rouser.

Did it really matter which I picked at this time? You tell me.

My pick: Ghor-Clan Savage

Pack 2, Pass 15

Ghor-Clan Bloodscale.

At this time I decided to scan the room for Uncle Izzet and Cousin Gruul. Just to make sure neither they nor anyone else was burning an effigy. Uncle was now creating a replica of the Eiffel Tower out of card sleeves, and Gruul was squaring off against that really tough looking dude in the mirror.

Family.

Then one of the other drafters got a bright idea into his brainpan, and decided to have some fun with me. He mentioned to Orzhov that I had another Orzhov Signet in my 3rd pack. She clamored beside me like a shot.

Well, paybacks are full of fire and brimstone, and so I elaborated to Gruul about this guy calling Uncle Izzet a gnome in dwarf's clothing. Let's just say that he then had to unbutton his shirt to see what cards to draft.

That'll learn ya'.

Pack 3, Pick 1

Living Inferno; Mortify; Primeval Light; Sinstriker's Will; Benediction of Moons; Skarrgan Pit-Skulk; Cremate; Burning-Tree Bloodscale; Gigadrowse; Orzhov Basilica; Silhana Starfletcher; Pillory of the Sleepless; Orzhov Euthanist; Steamcore Weird; Pyromatics.

So now I deal with having not one, but two cards with her name on them. The agony. Again, I trusted on the spirits of Blaine and Copperfield to slide the right card into my hand.

In all seriousness, it was a hard choice between hating the large Living Inferno and picking Mortify or Pillory of the Sleepless. I do believe I made the right decision.

My pick: Mortify

Pack 3, Pick 2

Droning Bureaucrats; Orzhov Basilica; Steamcore Weird; Shrieking Grotesque; Silhana Ledgewalker; Gigadrowse; Tin-Street Hooligan; Benediction of Moons; Gruul Signet; Izzet Chronarch; Necromancer's Magemark; Castigate; Battering Wurm; Agent of Masks.

As I was sorting through this pack, I caught a peek of the Orzhov Basilica before she did. I slapped it behind the Gruul Signet and grabbed one of the better cards that will actually help me.

My pick: Droning Bureaucrats

Pack 3, Pick 3

Orzhov Euthanist; Repeal; Gigadrowse; Ghost Warden; Izzet Boilerworks; Scab-Clan Mauler; Ogre Savant; Restless Bones; Silhana Ledgewalker; Skyrider Trainee; Petrahydrox; Frazzle; Nivix, Aerie of the Firemind.

Looking back, I know that I should have picked the Repeal. There were many times that it would have helped immensely. There wasn't a moment when I was glad to see this guy. This time, she did see the Orzhov card and even before she started in I slid it into my pile.

My pick: Orzhov Euthanist

Pack 3, Pick 4

Ostiary Thrull; Conjurer's Ban; Wildsize; Ogre Savant; Plagued Rusalka; Cry of Contrition; Izzet Chronarch; Skyrider Trainee; Crystal Seer; Frazzle; Orzhov Signet; Goblin Flectomancer

Can't a guy get a break? Again, she spotted the Orzhov Signet and this time she wasn't having any Jedi mind tricks. I really wanted that second Ostiary Thrull, because tapping is very useful. So I did the next best thing. I picked what I wanted, gave her the Signet, and told the next guy to not pick anything. At first he wasn't happy, but then when I told him it was either that or I would give her to him. He wholeheartedly agreed.

My pick: Ostiary Thrull

Pack 3, Pick 5

Shrieking Grotesque; Gruul Signet; Skarrgan Pit-Skulk; Cremate; Necromancer's Magemark; Castigate; Benediction of Moons; Steamcore Weird; Tin-Street Hooligan; Izzet Chronarch; Thunderheads.

The 2/1 flyers are great, and a definite discard always helps out. She checked out the pack, didn't care, so I was able to pick what I wanted for a change.

My pick: Shrieking Grotesque

Pack 3, Pick 6

Stratozeppelid; Shrieking Grotesque; Ghor-Clan Savage; Gruul Signet; Necromancer's Magemark; Petrahydrox; Restless Bones; Silhana Starfletcher; Castigate; Cremate.

Another Grotesque would have been nice but if you see fat flyers; Take them!

My pick: Stratozeppelid

Pack 3, Pick 7

Stratozeppelid (foil); Shrieking Grotesque; Gruul Signet; Ogre Savant; Tin-Street Hooligan; Necromancer's Magemark; Izzet Chronarch; Silhana Ledgewalker; Castigate.

Foiled fat flyers are even better. Booh-yah!

My pick: Stratozeppelid (foil)

Pack 3, Pick 8

Gruul Turf; Guardian's Magemark; Gruul Scrapper; Starved Rusalka; Necromancer's Magemark; Torch Drake; Shattering Spree; Runeboggle.

Honestly, I should have picked the Torch Drake to not allow a flyer to smack me, but Orzhov wanted me to get one of the Gruul cards for her brother. I couldn't deny that pretty face. Especially when Gruul's ugly mug was right behind it.

My pick: Gruul Turf

Pack 3, Pick 9

Izzet Boilerworks; Poisonbelly Ogre; Ghor-Clan Savage; Gruul Nodorog; Fencer's Magemark; Runeboggle; Bloodscale Prowler.

While she was turned to give Gruul his card, I grabbed this for that Blue splash that I was working with.

My pick: Izzet Boilerworks

Pack 3, Pick 10

Orzhov Signet; Leap of Flame; Train of Thought; Lionheart Maverick; Crash Landing; Cry of Contrition.

Yes, I picked the Signet. I can only hope that is the last one.

My pick: Orzhov Signet

Pack 3, Pick 11

Cremate; Primeval Light; Benediction of Moons; Skarrgan Pit-Skulk; Gigadrowse.

I figured in case I needed to remove something from the grave. I don't know what, since we weren't dealing with Dredge, but any port in a storm. Orzhov didn't care either.

My pick: Cremate

Pack 3, Pick 12

Orzhov Basilica; Battering Wurm; Benediction of Moons; Gigadrowse.

Again, I can only hope that is the last one. Though looking back it was the best choice.

My pick: Orzhov Basilica

Pack 3, Pick 13

Ogre Savant; Izzet Boilerworks; Nivix, Aerie of the Firemind.

I knew that no one needed Nivix by this point. I'm sure I saw ten of them go through this Draft. I decided to keep some last minute bounce out of someone's hands.

My pick: Ogre Savant

Pack 3, Pick 14

Orzhov Signet; Train of Thought.

Haha! I took the beating and won. She wasn't happy, but by this time Uncle Izzet was having trouble with his card sleeve sculpture and she had to help him. Moral Victory!

My pick: Train of Thought

Pack 3, Pass 15

Skarrgan Pit-Skulk

So after all that here is the deck that Orzhov and I built:

White:
2 Absolver Thrull
Ghost Warden
Droning Bureaucrats
Spelltithe Enforcer
Shrieking Grotesque

Black:
2 Ostiary Thrull
Orzhov Euthanist
Douse in Gloom
Daggerclaw Imp

Blue:
3 Stratozeppelid
2 Infiltrator's Magemark

Multi-color:
2 Blind Hunter
2 Pillory of the Sleepless
Mortify

Artifact:
Izzet Signet
Orzhov Signet

Lands:
Orzhov Basilica
Izzet Boilerworks
6 Swamp
6 Plains
3 Island

Sideboard
(in-color):
Revenant Patriarch
Cremate
Necromancer's Magemark
Skyrider Trainee
Guardian's Magemark
Train of Thought
2 Orzhov Signet

(not in-color):
2 Gruul Turf
3 Izzet Chronarch
Ogre Savant
Ghor-Clan Bloodscale
Ghor-Clan Savage
Wurmweaver Coil
Gruul Nodorog
Crash Landing
Skarrgan Pit-Skulk

Orzhov was glad to see that I had three cards with her name in the deck. No, I didn't remind her of the other signets. She started going around the table checking out everyone else's decks. If they didn't have an Orzhov card in it they weren't worthy of her attention. Lucky them.

Parings were called and we were on to my first opponent.

Round 1 versus Ken playing Red-Green
Ken was the person to my right, so he was a little miffed about me hating that Wurmweaver Coil. Orzhov wasn't very polite and told him that he would lose right now or she'll starting screaming. I told her that wasn't necessary (at least until I was down a game... then start in). She gave me the benefit, so we started.

Game 1 Ken got to a slow start, which isn't where you want to be with Gruul. He brought out a couple of beaters like Ghor-Clan Savage and Silhana Ledgewalker, but with my Blind Hunter times two and Pillory of the Sleepless I kept him under control.

Game 2 he got the starting nuts as far as Gruul is concerned. Turn 1 Wild Cantor, turn 2 Swing with Wild Cantor, play Scab-Clan Mauler with Bloodthirst. Orzhov wasn't happy. Fortunately, I drew both of my Pillory of the Sleepless and then played a Stratozeppelid with an Infiltrator's Magemark on it. Four turns later I had the match. Orzhov was happy.

Round 2 versus Ladd playing my deck
I say he was playing my deck because, except for my Blue splash, we pretty much had identical decks. Two Blind Hunters, two Pillory of the Sleepless, two Ostiary Thrulls, and more. As we started to shuffle up, I noticed that Orzhov started moving closer to Ladd. As soon as she realized I was noticing this she said, “I don't like your Blue cards”, and stuck out her tongue.

Obviously, this was a curse upon me and I lost two games straight.

I was always three steps behind. I wasn't able to play any of my flyers, and the one time I played the Spelltithe Enforcer he used it to sacrifice a creature that was haunted by one of his Blind Hunters, and with an additional attack I was gone.

Betrayed by my own family. I felt like a supporting actor in the Godfather part II.

After this thrashing, I again checked to see where Uncle Izzet and Cousin Gruul were at. Gruul finally was relaxing on the couch we have. I felt sorry for the human pillows underneath him. Uncle Izzet was able to finish his card sleeve monument. How it blew up, I'll never know. Maybe the glue mixture of bubble gum, citric acid, and Twinkies had something to do with it.

Round 3 versus Nick playing Red-Blue
Of course, now Orzhov moves back to my side telling me to take care of this guy.

Little two-faced traitor.

Nick played full-on Izzet style. Steamcore Weirds, Repeals, Ogre Savants, but only one Izzet Chronarch.

In the immortal words of Nelson from the Simpsons: "HA-Ha!"

The first and second games went by pretty fast, splitting between both of us. The only neat thing (for me) was, during the second game, he had out two Torch Drakes and a Steamcore Weird able to attack... with me only having one creature. The great thing was that the creature was Droning Bureaucrats. By itself, I held off the onslaught until I could recover for the win.

During the third game we had some interesting moments. I had one of his Steamcore Weirds haunted with not one, but two Blind Hunters. There also was my Pillory of the Sleepless and his Hypervolt Grasp on it, pinging at me. Then, during the one time he tapped out of Blue I played Mortify on the Weird making an eight point life shift.

At this time I was at twenty-five and he was at nine. Orzhov was actually proud of me. Both of our boards were empty, due to trading creatures and his Repeals. Then Nick started taking five point chunks out of me with an Ogre Savant, Steamcore Weird, and another Steamcore Weird with my Pillory of the Sleepless and another Hypervolt Grasp on it. By the time I was able to choke off the bleeding the totals were nine to four in my favor.

Orzhov was no longer proud.

Again, our boards were clear. I then played a sided-in Skyrider Trainee with an Infiltrator's Magemark on it. Although he was hoping for one of the two Pyromatics in his deck, he had no answer and I took a hard fought game.

Orzhov was paying attention to Ladd's deck at this time.

Traitor.

Round 4 versus Dave, also playing Black-White
I can't say that he was playing my deck, because he had some marginal cards. I can't blame him. He only comes around every once in awhile, and even worse for him was that he was to my left in the Draft.

The first game, I started in pretty well on him. Our totals were fifteen to nine, in my favor. I then stalled out, and he dropped a Mourning Thrull, Agent of Masks, and Pillory of the Sleepless. The totals then switched to nineteen to zero, in his favor.

Better you then me, brother. Better you then me.

The next two games didn't have anything impressive going on, other then my deck worked and Dave's didn't. A couple of Stratozeppelid hammered him down. I think that Benediction of Moons wasn't working to well for him.

So now I'm 3-1 with a slot in the Top 4 playoffs.

I was ready. Orzhov was ready. She wanted to win. Of course, so did I and I truly believe that I would have won. My next opponent was Derrick, and he was playing Red-Green and Ladd was able to take him down. I felt I had a good shot.

Orzhov then reminds Uncle Izzet that they have to leave to get home in time for the Munsters re-runs.

Somehow this did not shock me.

I was so elated. Annoying family members gone, ready to finish out with a win. Yea!

Then Uncle Izzet told me my wife had called earlier and said that she needed to go to work at 11:00 and that I had to come home to watch the children. Guess what time it was.

10:30 with 15 minutes to drive home.

Just peachy.

So after the internal cursing, brain melting, and knowing that I wouldn't get a single thing for my efforts I had no choice. I conceded. I will say that Derrick was cool about it and gave me a couple of packs to offset my predicament, but the frustration of coming so close with having to dump the match wasn't a good feeling.

Even before I was able to crack the packs, Uncle Izzet, Cousin Gruul, and that little miss trouble Orzhov was gone. No “See ya'!” No “Thanks for babysitting my annoying brat!”

In hindsight, I will say that even before I arrived at the shop I was ready to draft the Orzhov guild. It plays well and can have early, mid, and late game wins. I believe it has the best depth among the Guildpact guilds. So when I go to play again, which will be this Friday, unless I crack a Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind... I'm going with the guild that will pester you to death.

Thanks for reading, take care, and happy card-flopping.

Tony Willier
antam@defnet.com