In the recently released film "Broken Flowers", Bill Murray plays a retired computer entrepreneur who goes on an extraordinary journey through his past flings to answer a letter he received claiming he had a child he never knew about. However, the closer he comes to the conclusion of his travels, the farther away he seems from any definitive answers. He visits the lives of several unique women, but could any of been the anonymous sender of the pink letter declaring him a father?

Such is my quest for the elusive State championship. The goal is presented, the clues have been examined and now, the rambling sojourn towards absolution has begun. But which archetype will uncover a victory?

As I see it, States will be defined by Kamigawa retainers like Gifts and White Weenie, while Ravnica will add decks corresponding with the guilds the set is based on. Linear thinking, however, is rarely rewarded in a tournament as diverse as States. A few years ago, Tim Peplinski of Steven’s Point, WI piloted the first Astral Slide deck to a T8 in Wisconsin States. His article (link knut) documented the journey and creation of his particular list and dated e-mails proved that he was, essentially, the first person to put the pieces of the Slide puzzle together. You do not have to be a professional to innovate in this game; States is a yearly testament to this fact. Instead of waiting for some random pro to post a list to fill his monthly writing requirement, why not try your hand at blazing your own trail? I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t trust Tim Aten to build my deck. He doesn’t like you and he probably wishes you were dead.

I’m going to go in three different directions in this article. I will take a look at the ghost of a once-proud archetype, an understated title contender from last season and the deck that would be king.

Denizens of #mtgwacky have long lamented the long and arduous story of Sigleranimator. What is Sigleranimator, you might ask? I typically try to play Reanimator in just about every format until I absolutely prove, without a doubt, that it is horrible. How dedicated am I to this mission? This block season, I was playing a Slumbering Tora Reanimator deck that basically revolved around this fourth turn 18-damage attack phase that happened roughly once out of a hundred games. Not very spicy. Ravnica provides us with a new Zombify, as well as some fun creatures to resurrect. The format has also slowed down a bit and any scene defined by a deck as terrible as R/W or WW aggro (That’s right, I said it again!) is an all-you-can-bash buffet for Sigleranimator. Here’s my current list.

// Lands

9 [9E] Swamp (1)

9 [9E] Island (3)

4 [9E] Underground River

4 [RAV] Watery Grave

// Creatures

4 [9E] Thought Courier

3 [RAV] Blazing Archon

1 [SOK] Sekki, Seasons' Guide

1 [RAV] Dimir Doppelganger

1 [9E] Verdant Force

1 [CHK] Kuro, Pitlord

2 [CHK] Kokusho, the Evening Star

2 [CHK] The Unspeakable

// Spells

4 [BOK] Goryo's Vengeance

4 [RAV] Vigor Mortis

3 [CHK] Sensei's Divining Top

4 [9E] Zombify

4 [CHK] Gifts Ungiven

// Sideboard

SB: 1 [RAV] Blazing Archon

SB: 4 [CHK] Nezumi Shortfang--Stabwhisker the Odious

SB: 4 [CHK] Distress

SB: 3 [CHK] Hideous Laughter

SB: 3 [CHK] Boseiju, Who Shelters All

The biggest additions to Sigleranimator this season are Blazing Archon and Vigor Mortis. Archon provides you with a way to essentially end the game against dumb, plodding aggro if they don’t come up with a Putrefy or similar out. You typically have a fatty on the fourth turn, and a lot of aggro just doesn’t have the scruples to deal with a guy of Archon’s size. The deck runs twelve reanimation spells and ten big bearls, so you’re going to have a lot of opportunities to bring your team back. This reanimator isn’t like years past when one creature came into play on your first or second turn and the game ended on turn four. You just keep tossing monsters out there until one finally sticks and takes over the game.

What sort of neat tricks does this deck have? Targeting Kuro, Pitlord with Goryo’s Vengeance lets you clear your opponent’s board, then get in for nine damage. You can splice Vengeance onto Vengeance and bring back two Kokushos, hitting your opponent with a ten-point Drain Life and also keeping your 5/5’s in your graveyard instead of removing them from the game. Vengeance on an Unspeakable will allow you to trample in for massive damage, then get back the Vengeance to use for additional fun and profit later. Zombify and Vigor Mortis may not be as exciting as their two-mana brother, but they get the job done, too.

The deck could use more discard outlets. Control decks that use countermagic are going to be tough before sideboard, too. You’re probably going to beat just about any aggro deck in the world, but is that enough? Is Sigleranimator a contender? I have put some hours into testing, and it is not the worst deck I’ve played in recent weeks. It’s not a very cheap deck to assemble, but I have a feeling that with some tender love and care, this deck could make some waves in the upcoming format and even net a couple State championships. Take a look and decide if it’s for you.

Rats stole the show at the end of last season, mixing Aether Vial and Viridian Shaman with the rabid, disease-carrying rats of standard to make a surprisingly strong deck. While Chittering Rats and Vial have rotated and the format has become a little less susceptible to discard-based antics, Monoblack aggro made a strong showing in KBC and could pick up where Rats left off. You’re going to be a little more rock n’ roll now, which is never a bad thing. Umezawa’s Jitte is the best card in the format and this deck takes advantage of its power as good as any.

The downfall of Black Hand in block, however, was its inability to defeat its white counterpart. Hand of Honor, Eight-And-A-Half-Tails, a much stronger one-mana slot and the ability to splash red for Lightning Helix could be too much to handle. However, you’ve got all sorts of game against the slower control decks and a lot of utility against stuff like B/G. Let’s go to the list.

11 [B] Swamp (1)

1 [RAV] Svogthos, the Restless Tomb

1 [SOK] Tomb of Urami

1 [CHK] Shizo, Death's Storehouse

4 [9E] Llanowar Wastes

4 [RAV] Overgrown Tomb

// Creatures

4 [SOK] Hand of Cruelty

4 [IN] Ravenous Rats

4 [RAV] Dark Confidant

4 [CHK] Nezumi Graverobber--Nighteyes the Desecrator

2 [RAV] Grave-Shell Scarab

4 [B] Hypnotic Specter

4 [CHK] Wicked Akuba

// Spells

4 [BOK] Umezawa's Jitte

4 [RAV] Putrefy

4 [ON] Blackmail

// Sideboard

SB: 1 [RAV] Grave-Shell Scarab

SB: 3 [9E] Nekrataal

SB: 3 [9E] Persecute

SB: 3 [CHK] Nezumi Shortfang--Stabwhisker the Odious

SB: 3 [CHK] Hideous Laughter

SB: 2 [RAV] Plague Boiler

Viridian Shaman should no longer be in your black aggro deck. Big Shams moves on over for Putrefy, giving you the cure-all the deck lacked in block season. Ink Eyes is a fine man, but I just don’t like his chances in a deck without Cutthroat. If you want to run Ink Eyes, cut Ravenous Rats in favor or Nezumi Cutthroat. That might be the correct choice when trying to improve the white aggro match-up. Grave-Shell Scarab comes off the benches to give you some late-game power against blue-based control and Gifts. In my last article, I called Dark Confidant overrated, and I still believe that is the case. However, in this deck, he serves as a strong engine and fits your mission nicely. The downside of him is that you’re most likely siding him down or out against WW, R/W, Monored and opposing black aggro. I’ve played this deck quite a bit thus far, and the only real buzz kill you face is Hand Of Honor and Paladin En-Vec. You really need to have Hideous Laughter on your team or you have no outs against anything that has protection from black. Plague Boiler is also a good sideboard out against white-based aggro. For me to play this deck at States, I’ll need to find a way to at least break even against its white and sometimes red counterpart. Matches decided on who draws the most two-drops with protection from the opponent’s color sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Why hasn’t anyone posted any good States Gifts decks? Fear. That’s right, fear. Gifts is such a fickle and fussy deck that the writers of the world are scared to death to post a list that people will throw tomatoes at. I have been stabbed by crackheads with syringes filled with draino, thrown through glass windows and hit by cars filled with stolen flat screen monitors. I do not fear your tomatoes, forum-goer, and I do not fear your kung fu, because my dragon style is stronger. I have really had a hard time putting together a good, well-rounded Gifts list for type two, but I have run across a few conclusions. Hana Kami isn’t very good, anymore. It feels like you’re scrambling for ways to stay alive while waiting for stabilization that just doesn’t occur. Relying on that engine just isn’t going to get the job done. I sent a Hana Kami list to Aten and he threatened to kill himself, so I’m guessing that you should probably find other cards. Do I have any idea what the best list for Gifts is? HELL no. That deck should be built by the greatest minds that Magic has to offer, not simple retail workers like myself. I have, however, taken a stab at it in hopes that it will get some other lists to surface and that through discussion, the community of Starcitygames.com can figure out a workable version.

Then, of course, they will cue Flores’s entrance music! He will run down the aisle, grab a steel chair, jump into the ring and deliver a decimating chair shot to the back of the head of the whole concept. He will grandstand for the crowd, hold the title belt over his head and tell us that he’ll see us at Wrestlemania. He’ll then post a list that the world will instantly barn without thought or investigation, and Knut will wipe the sweat from his body with the tattered remains of my beautiful dream.

1 [7E] Plains (1)

2 [7E] Island (1)

7 [7E] Forest (1)

5 [7E] Swamp (1)

4 [BOK] Tendo Ice Bridge

4 [RAV] Overgrown Tomb

// Creatures

2 [CHK] Sakura-Tribe Elder

3 [SOK] Kagemaro, First to Suffer

1 [CHK] Kodama of the North Tree

1 [CHK] Meloku the Clouded Mirror

1 [RAV] Grave-Shell Scarab

1 [SOK] Maga, Traitor to Mortals

// Spells

4 [CHK] Sensei's Divining Top

4 [CHK] Kodama's Reach

2 [CHK] Hideous Laughter

4 [CHK] Gifts Ungiven

1 [CHK] Cranial Extraction

1 [RAV] Shred Memory

1 [8E] Naturalize

1 [RAV] Plague Boiler

1 [BOK] Goryo's Vengeance

2 [9E] Reclaim

4 [RAV] Putrefy

1 [CHK] Honden of Cleansing Fire

1 [ON] Biorhythm

1 [RAV] Moonlight Bargain

// Sideboard

SB: 2 [CHK] Kodama of the North Tree

SB: 1 [CHK] Meloku the Clouded Mirror

SB: 2 [CHK] Hideous Laughter

SB: 3 [CHK] Rend Flesh

SB: 4 [CHK] Nezumi Shortfang--Stabwhisker the Odious

SB: 3 [9E] Coercion

So, yeah. Killing people with Biorhythm seems like it would probably be the best thing ever, and Reclaim has neat synergy with Top. Some utility like Shred Memory for dealing with Scarabs and other dredge cards (And SIGLERANIMATOR!) is in there, as well as the basic team of mana fixers from block season. Is this list good? I don’t know; You tell me. I’ve played with it, and I’ve won a good amount of games, but I could just be lying to you so you should probably look into it yourself. By all means, post your critiques and your own version of Gifts in the forums, because as of right now? Everyone is saying that Gifts is the best deck.

Nobody has a list, though.

Help me help you help me by figuring out what the best way to harness this awesome power is. I fear that Gifts will have a hard time with G/B decks because, in all reality, they very well may be drawing more cards than Gifts and showing a stronger late-game presence. You see, I’m just like all of you. I put my pants on, one leg at a time. The only difference is, after I put my pants on, I do battle with the Shoplifter Legion Of Doom. I’m just as anxious to see what definitive Gifts Ungiven looks like as you are. If I don’t get a working list soon, there’s no way I’ll be able to audition it for States because of the skill level and familiarity you need to play it. I’d need a few weeks to figure it all out. I am, after all, no Ken Bearl.

Ken Bearl Gifts Ungiven Sneak Preview

4 Stone Rain

4 Gifts Ungiven

Lands, ect

Three lists. I’m once, twice, three times underappreciated for my contributions to the Magic world. I hope that my ponderings will help some of you mold your States dreams into realities, and that like Bill Murray, you discover that it is truly the journey that is more important than the destination. States is about having a good time, essentially. Be creative with your deck choice, but make sure you’ve done your homework so that you end up with a profitable outcome.

I hope you’ve liked this trio of articles I’ve put out. The more devoted Siglerites there are out there, the harder it will be for Knut to reject my articles. I envision a roaring army of noble Siglerbarns storming the shores of SCG and claiming its holdings in my honor. I will try to keep writing throughout the fall months, and if all goes well, I will have a colorful States article that will obviously be different than the 40,000 other ones Ted will receive in his In-Box later this month.

Fun Stories In Retail Loss Prevention!

While working in St. Paul last summer, I was lazily gazing at the Free Drug Money Giveaway that is our Customer Service Desk when disaster struck. A large, and I’m talking LARGE (6’6, 417 lbs) African American man walked up to the desk with two DVD Players. In one hand. Yes, just the hand. As in, he was palming them both simultaneously. He wanted to return them without a receipt, but fortunately, I had earlier confirmed that he came into the store without anything. He had walked in and grabbed the DVD Players off the shelf and was going to try to return them for a gift card. Typically, Off-The-Floor refunders were not this large, but I called my partners and we approached the gentleman as he conducted his return. Everything was flowers and candy as I and my two cohorts (I’m 6’ 270, my two partners were 6’2 240 and 6’3 280) identified ourselves. When we tried to escort him to the Loss Prevention Office, however, was when the dookie hit the fan. He immediately tried to push past us, at which point we collapsed around him and tried to slow his progress. I was directly in front of him and my partners were both on either side, grabbing his arms. I tried to go over the top on him and wrestle him down to the ground, but he picked me up by my shoulders and tossed me across the Service Desk. My buddies both hung on for dear life as he plowed towards the door, tearing his shirt off in the process. I took one more dive at the monster of a man, but it was no use. All 417 pounds of him went running out of the store, stomach flapping in the breeze as he plodded out into the street and tried to carjack people who slowed down. I called the police on my cell and we continued pursuit as he took off down the sidewalk and into a Circuit City store. He ran crazed through the building, knocking down shelving and displays and eventually crashed through an emergency exit door and into an alley. The police caught up with him there and had their K-9 units have dogs pin him down as he was trying to climb a fence. All 417 pounds of him. Crazy enough, he had no warrants and really didn’t have any reason to make such a big deal over a petty misdemeanor ticket. I kept his shirt as a souvenir and show it to trainees to prove that my balls are, in fact, absolutely huge.

Until next time,

Jesse Sigler

Jessesigler61 on AIM