Cousins,

I want you to go out to your windows. Yell out! Scream with all the life you can muster up out of your bruised, battered, and assaulted bodies; scream,"I'm sick and tired of being a scrub, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

In my last article, I was adamant in saying that no new decks would come out of Nationals. I said that there would be no decks that put a stranglehold on the Type Two environment — no new Angry Hermit or Survival decks.

Was I ever wrong!

During the course of the United States Nationals, at least two new decktypes rose up and came to the forefront. The Wildfire/Ensnaring Bridge deck is one of the two, and the other deck is the blandly-named Saproling Prison. Finding its roots from Urza's Saga, where Deranged Hermit and Morphling were kings, this deck uses the critter generation of Spontaneous Generation.

For four mana, you get a 1/1 Saproling token for each card in your hand. Combined with Static Orb and Opposition, this deck seeks to lock down your opponent by a theoretical fifth turn. Orb third turn, Opposition fourth turn, Generation fifth turn. Add in the fact that Gush, when paid for via the alternate casting cost, nets you a three-for-one in terms of card advantage. Beyond the first, Accumulated Knowledge nets you at least a one-card gain, and the Invasion uncommon Fact or Fiction can give you additional cards.

Saproling Burt, as played by Dan Clegg:
15 Island
7 Forest
4 Counterspell
3 Foil
3 Thwart
3 Fact or Fiction
3 Static Orb
4 Opposition
3 Gush
4 Opt
4 Accumulated Knowledge
3 Saproling Cluster
4 Spontaneous Generation

This was not the only style of deck to see play over the weekend. During the Japanese Grinders, a deck similar to this won a spot in the main event:

No name, as played by Kazuya Mitamura (Winner, Grinder ten)
3 Forest
17 Island
4 Accumulated Knowledge
4 Brainstorm
1 Coat of Arms
4 Counterspell
2 Daze
2 Fact or Fiction
4 Foil
4 Gush
2 Moss Diamond
1 Opposition
3 Opt
4 Spontaneous Generation
2 Thwart
1 Tsabo's Web
2 Wash Out

The biggest difference in this deck is the inclusion of Coat of Arms and other utility spells, such as Tsabo's Web, Wash Out, Moss Diamond — and Coat of Arms combos up quite nicely with the Saproling Tokens. The omission of the Static Orb lock seems to hurt this deck, but the greater amount of search more than makes up for the lock.

Mantan: The New Millennium Minstrel Show*, as played by Joshua X Claytor in random playtesting sessions:

4 Spontaneous Generation
4 Gush
4 Accumulated Knowledge
4 Counterspell
4 Opt
4 Fact or Fiction
3 Thwart
3 Foil
2 Coat of Arms
2 Wash Out
2 Opposition
1 Mahamoti Djinn
1 Spellbook
5 Forest
17 Island

With the omission of the popular Static Orb, I am trying to achieve a"soft lock" with the Opposition. I was impressed with the results of the Coat of Arms in the second deck, and tried to be more aggressive with it. The"Fat Moti" gives me an alternate win condition in the event that all four of my Generations get countered. The scrub in me screams for a card that makes me skip my discard phase — and with it, I have included Spellbook, a long--time staple of Stasis decks. Wash Out, of course, insures that my horde of tiny little trees will get by the opponent's defenses.

What does Apocalypse add to this deck? The enemy-color gold spells are quite nice, and so is Living Airship. Does anything seem to fit the deck without giving up important cards? Jungle Barrier (mentioned from here on out as Wall of GOD!) is a 2/6 for four mana that has a Wall of Blossoms effect. Mystic Snake can be debated, as Foil seems better suited as a counterspell for this deck. Aether Mutation, which bounces a creature and gives you saprolings equal to its converted mana cost, would seem to be the best idea. Does it warrant a spot in the main deck, or is it better off in the sideboard? Temporal Spring bounces a permanent to the top of your opponent's library, and makes everything a Time Walk.

To end this week's column, I would like to give some props out to the only Kentucky player to qualify for Nationals this year: Jared Burt, a player with whom I test, did not do well, finishing 2-3-1. However, that is way better then the other Kentucky player, Travis Turning. (He is listed on the Kentucky ratings page, but no one in the state can attest to him even living here.) Trevor Blackwell also deserves some form of props for winning the thing.

Next week, watch a scrub write some more about another deck you most likely do not care about.

Joshua X Claytor

X's Pick of The Week: Bamboozled, directed by Spike Lee, starring Damon Wayans, Jada Pinket Smith, the tap dancing guy from Bring in da noize, bring in da Funk, Mike Rappart, and Tommy Davidson. Interesting flick about a TV writer. It shows the production of a surprise controversial hit, and the way it affects the stars. Out of five stars, I would give it a four.

claytorj@yahoo.com