It's the Spring of 1996. My fiancé and I are planning our wedding, which is less than a year away, and I am happily enjoying what will be my last eighteen months of active duty. A group of my friends invites me to lunch one day down in the cafeteria. After we finish eating, they bust out their Magic cards, and begin playing. I watch. And watch. I ask question after question, which they easily and happily answer.
Within two weeks, I am hooked...addicted...a junkie. Hell, it took me longer to get hooked on smokes than it did to get hooked on this game.
I played almost constantly, purchasing cards at least weekly - if not daily - for several years. Unfortunately, by January 2000, I had to stop. Work, continuing education, and family responsibilities left me with little time to play, collect, and while away my idle hours with thoughts of the game. And although I had to give the game up for a while, I missed it. I missed the competition, the fun, the skill, the thought, the concentration.
But all that was to change in the Fall of 2001. I brushed the dust from my cards, tossed together a couple decks, and started going to the game shop to play the game I loved so dear.
I played in several local tournaments - and after a few months of getting my butt kicked, suddenly my ability to play seemed to return. I played in a Type 1, and ended up number three. I played in an Extended and won. I played a Sealed and took third. Damn. I was on a roll.
My local shop rotates its tournaments, depending on what week it is. The first week is always Extended, followed by Standard, Classic, and Sealed. After a run of good luck, I decided I would play a Standard tournament. Of course, my self-imposed exodus from the game didn't help; I had few cards available for a decent Standard deck. But I tried.
Here's what I played that first Standard event:
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Urborg Elf
4 Llanowar Dead
4 Penumbra Bobcat
4 Penumbra Kavu
2 Necravolver
1 Fungal Shambler
4 Sinister Strength
4 Consume Strength
2 Giant Growth
2 Hurricane
4 Tranquility
11 Forest
10 Swamp
Sideboard: None
Okay, okay - don't write me and tell me this sucks. I know it does. Hell, I think I even knew when I took it to the tournament. Of course, it probably didn't help that I just threw this together at 6:00 p.m. for a 7:00 p.m. tournament either. I looked at what cards were available in Standard that I knew I had, and decided that this is what I was going to play. I figured, hell, maybe I'll even catch someone by surprise and win a match or two just on sheer luck.
Round 1: Mike, playing mono-red
How well do twelve small elves do against Firebolt, Shock, Pyroclasm, and Ghitu Fire? Let's just say not nearly as well as you would hope. Game one is all about his burning my elves to bits. Game 2, I have a Sinistered Bobcat token. He has a Shock. I begin to realize that this pile sucks. My frail ego takes its first beating of the night.
Round 2: Derek, playing UW White Weenie with Mage
Game 1 makes me feel like I have a chance. He Mages for Deed, Monger, and Penumbra Wurm.... None of which I have. I somehow squeak out a win when a Consumed Necravolver tramples to victory.
I shuffle, thinking,"Hey, I can beat this guy!" He had no idea what I was playing. Of course, with a pile this random, I was lucky I knew what I was playing.
Game 2 is brutal; all I saw were elves and lands. Game 3, and Derek finally decided I was playing ass. Instead of wasting his Mages on Mongers, Deeds, and Wurms, he calls out Sinister Strength, followed by Penumbra Kavu and Consume Strength. I get Mage-slapped to death.
The most unfortunate event in this round is that I won a game. Had I not, I could have easily said to myself that the deck sucked, and just assumed I would get beat all night. Instead, with that victory, I am convinced that my janky deck can pull through with a little luck.
May God have mercy on my soul.
Round 3. Tyler, playing Liftoff. (Yes...the W/U Odyssey Preconstructed deck.)
I can't even go on with this round. My deck gets taken to the cleaners by a friggin' Preconstruct!!!!!! My God. My God, why have Ye abandoned me? (God helps those who help themselves - The Ferrett)
I get the "Big Loser" bye in the last round (and still just about managed to pull out the loss). Man, I'm feeling some low about now. I mean, I knew the deck wasn't stellar.... But to get beaten by a preconstructed deck? I remember the days when I had a knack for being able to toss about anything together and I could win with it. Man, any ability I had in that area, though, has gone. I'll have to work if I am to try to build a decent Standard Deck.
I take off and head home, thinking about my failure (and humiliation). I walk in the front door. My lovely wife is sitting on the couch, drinking iced tea and watching something.
"You're home early," she says.
"Got my ass kicked. Don't ask."
"Angel won't lay down. I think she wants her Daddy."
I walk back to our bedroom, and find my two-year-old still awake, watching "Blue's Clues." She sees me walk in the room, her eyes light up, and she runs to me, arms outstretched.
"Daddy!!"
"Hey, baby girl. Daddy's home."
She clutches onto my leg. I bend over, and pick her up. She gives me a kiss.
"Daddy got beat up tonight, little one."
She lays her head on my shoulder and wraps her arms around me (well, at least as much as a two-year-old can considering her relative size compared to me). I shut off the VCR and the TV, and take her to her room to rock her. She falls asleep while I'll sing Jim Croce's timeless hit "Time in a Bottle" to her. I am reminded yet again how insignificant this game I truly love and enjoy is. I lay her in her bed and head back out to the front room.
"She asleep?"
"Yup. Guess she was just waiting for Daddy."
"So," my lovely wife says, "Got your ass kicked, eh? Serves you right for always beating up on me with your decks." She laughs. Maybe teaching her how to play and then testing my decks with her wasn't such a good thing. She seems to take a perverse joy in my losing. But, what the Hell...I have a great wife who actually plays Magic with me (and enjoys it), and she's one hell of a cook, too.
"I know. Of course, maybe it would help if I actually put some thought into a deck and didn't try to half-ass something together at the last minute."
We watch a rented movie together and go to bed.
It's now Saturday afternoon. Angel is taking her nap, and my wife and stepdaughters are out grocery shopping. I break down the deck I played the night before, and put the cards away. It's time to start thinking of what to put together for the next Standard tournament. I have a sub-optimal burn deck I play in Classic, and I was able to trade for most of the cards I needed for a janky version of The Rock for Extended; maybe I'll explain those decks at a different time. I decided I would attempt to build a version of the Rock for Standard. As the next Standard tournament wouldn't roll around until after Torment was legal, I had a little time and flexibility to try to accomplish this.
First step was to figure out what I had and what I could use from my janky version of The Rock (without breaking apart my Extended deck at all, as I wanted to continue to use that). Well, I had three 'Mongers and three Deeds available. It was a start. As I only had four Birds, I decided to replaced them with four Utopia Trees. The elves and Duress stayed the same. I swapped the two Vampiric Tutors with two Diabolic Tutor. Twilight's Call was used as a quasi-replacement for Living Death. So what I was looking at so far was this:
4 Utopia Trees
4 Llanowar Elves
3 Spiritmonger
3 Pernicious Deed
2 Diabolic Tutor
1 Twilight's Call
4 Duress
So, twenty-one down, only thirty-nine to go. Here's where I ran into problems, and the original version got somewhat random. There is absolutely no replacement for the man-lands, nor is there anything that takes the place of Wasteland in the deck. (My version of The Rock ran four Wasteland, and recurred them with Cartographer because I had no Dust Bowls). There was also really nothing to viably replace the Yavimaya Elder, the Furnace, or the Recurring Nightmare. To play this deck, I was almost forced to turn it into more of a beatdown-type deck. Well, since my best lands were gone, and it appeared that the mana requirements would be fairly high, I settled for two Llanowar Wastes, four Tainted Wood, nine Forests and nine Swamps - giving me twenty-four land to go with eight mana creatures in the deck. I now needed fifteen cards to round out the initial version. I jotted down several possibilities on paper, and put my cards up for the day.
I got back to my deck on Wednesday. I decided to play with one Haunting Echoes to help clear my opponent's graveyard (and subsequently their library). I also added two Laquatus's Champions, three Carrion Wurms, three Centaur Chieftains, three Hurricanes, and two Phyrexian Arenas. I needed one more card, so decided to toss in another Tutor. Here is the Final Deck:
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Utopia Tree
3 Centaur Chieftain
3 Spiritmonger
3 Carrion Wurm
2 Laquatus's Champion
2 Phyrexian Arena
3 Pernicious Deed
4 Duress
3 Hurricane
3 Diabolic Tutor
1 Haunting Echoes
1 Twilight's Call
2 Llanowar Wastes
4 Tainted Wood
9 Swamps
9 Forest
Not exactly the Rock by any stretch. There is just too much on the deck that can not be viably reproduced (or reproduced at all) in Standard. I shuffled and fished a few games. It seemed to come out well enough for me to decide to play it; I would tweak it later.
Now it's time for the Sideboard... And I just hate blue. I like games where you actually play stuff. I mean, hell, who likes to just sit there and do nothing for forty minutes while everything you do is countered and your opponents just mills you to death? I included three Gaea's Heralds in the board to try to prevent this. I also included three Tranquilities, three Dodecapods, three Marauding Knights, and three Pit Traps. It's all pretty generic. I would guess that the Tranquility was pretty worthless, as few enchantments were played - and those that were played could have easily been dealt with by the Deed. Additionally, the Knights and the Herald did not prove as balls-out-good and I had hoped they would be, which was somewhat disappointing.
I tested this deck a little with my wife before the next tournament; she didn't seem to like it. Although my testing did show me that when it went bad for this deck, it went bad in a hurry.
I packed up my cards to go play in the tournament on Friday night. My daughter ensured that my coat was zipped and that I had my hat on prior to leaving. Of course, I didn't really need a hat, but when your two-year-old is yelling, "Hat...DADDY...HAT," you kinda have to wear it. I kiss her and my better half good bye, and drive to the store.
There's a small turn out this week. Only twelve show up to play in the Standard tournament. I pay my money and wait for the pairings.
Round 1: Brian, Playing Mono-Black Control.
Game 1 is all about Brian getting stuck on three land - two swamp and a Cabal Coffers. I get out an early 'Monger and serve. Game 2 is a bit tougher. He gets a Shade out, Edicts away a couple creatures, and has a recurring Ichorid. I pull my Echoes, then clean out his graveyard and library. Carrion Wurm takes me to victory.
Round 2: Bill Boysen. W/U
Bill's got a pretty cool milling deck. He runs two Ambassadors and three Millstones, four Counterspells, four Absorbs, four Life Bursts, four Fact or Fictions, four Reviving Vapors, four Wraths of God, three Syncopates and four Memory Lapses. No matter how my deck falls, he mills me out in both games. I am quickly learning to hate Life Burst. A sixteen-point swing in life for two mana just royally sucks ass. Man, I thought I had him on the ropes the second game. My Herald resolves early, and I proceed to drop 'Monger and Wurm. I get to serve once, and I have him pretty low on life. He Wraths on his turn, and then double-Bursts (with one already in the graveyard) for a quick twenty. From there, it's all about counter/mill. I really need to find a way to get past a deck like that. By the end of the night, Bill had yet to lose a game.
Round 3: Tony, playing Sligh
I think I get lucky. Game 1, Tony overcommits. His hand is empty, and he has five one or two casting-cost creatures coming at me. I Deed them all away, and serve with a Wurm. I then tutor for a Champion, drop it, and off I go. Game 2 sees more of the same. I start to feel confident in my deck against the Sligh and mono-black control. I'm 2-1 overall, and can make top four with another win or a draw. I'm still concerned about Life/Mill, though.
Round 4: Tom, playing Sligh
I screw up; maybe I was just overconfident. I keep a two-land hand (one Swamp, one Forest) with an elf and a Tree to back it up. My elf meets with a fiery demise. My Tree, likewise, gets turned into some early kindling. I don't see another land for five turns. I die.
Game two, I fortunately get the early Deed, and am able to hit with my beef. I win, but was standing precariously at two life when it ends. Game three comes around, and I look at my opening hand. Two forest, Tainted Wood, Elf, Tree, Deed, 'Monger. I decide to keep. I drop a forest and Elf turn 1. Turn 2, I drop the Wood, and the Tree. My tree dies. I proceed to draw a lot of land... All forests. Although I did manage to bring out another Tree, he was burned before I had the chance to pull that precious black mana from him. Death comes with me having eight forests, and two Tainted Woods in play. I stare at my deck is disbelief. I just can't believe it. Is one lousy Swamp too much to ask?
Although I am happy with the deck overall, I feel cheated by it just the same. I don't make top four. I talk to Squeaky (one of the regulars). I brought him some Slivers that I had that were extra. He gives me two Cabal Patriarchs for the Slivers. I chub. I buy some packs. I leave.
I go home a loser again, but feeling better than last time. When I get in the door, I realize that everyone is in bed. I put my decks on the table, set my cards that I bought down, and head to bed myself.
Morning comes, and I wake up to the familiar, "Hi, Daddy....juice" - that is, my daughter bringing me a cup to get her a drink. I climb out of bed, and head to the kitchen. Damn. No juice in the fridge... Gotta make some, I guess. I pull the frozen juice from the freeze. Thank God Welch's Grape comes in a plastic container. I nuke it so it unfreezes, and put some coffee on to brew. I hear the ping of the microwave telling me that everything is thawed out. I make juice, and give Angel a cup. She's happy.
I go out to the porch and have a smoke with my first cup of coffee, and head back in. Angel is drinking her juice and watching Barney on PBS. I go to the kitchen table, and begin opening packs and planning the changes to my deck. Angel comes and sits in the chair beside me.
"Puppy dog?"
"Okay. If Daddy gets a puppy dog, I'll give it to you."
"Kitty, too?"
"Sure... Any puppy dogs or kitties, and you can have them."
I open a Phantom Whelp, which she spots right away.
"Puppypuppypuppypuppy!!!!"
I hand her the dog. She is thrilled, and gives me a hug. When she is older, I'll have to teach her to play. I'm looking forward to that. Until then, though, I'm content with her wanting my puppies and kitties, and giving me hugs when she gets them. Gee...Magic...it does a family good....
Well, this was the original deck:
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Utopia Tree
3 Centaur Chieftain
3 Spiritmonger
3 Carrion Wurm
2 Laquatus's Champion
2 Phyrexian Arena
3 Pernicious Deed
4 Duress
3 Hurricane
3 Diabolic Tutor
1 Haunting Echoes
1 Twilight's Call
2 Llanowar Wastes
4 Tainted Wood
9 Swamps
9 Forest
Here's what I did to change it. I added the two Patriarchs, four Nomadic Elves, two Diligent Farmhands, and two Dawn of the Dead. I take out the four Chieftains, a Llanowar Elf, a Utopia Tree, an Arena, a Tutor, a Wurm, and a Hurricane. I test this for a bit against the goldfish; it's a little more consistent. I look to the sideboard. I drop the Heralds and the Knights, and add four Edicts. Right now, I'm not sure what to add to it. Squeaky and Chris, two card-playing friends of mine, have both told me to scrap the entire idea. I don't know, though. It seems to have potential, and seems to play fairly well.
I may see if I can get another Deed and Echoes. If I can, I'll probably maindeck those, and put the two Hurricanes into the board and call it good. Is this a Tier 1 deck? I'm not sure. It has potential. In a lot of cases, it's all about the Deed. If I can Deed early, I can control the game, and get some quick beats in. If not, it becomes a tougher battle, although it's pretty winnable against a lot of decks. Still, the mega lifegain hurts; too bad Forsaken Wastes isn't in Standard. Here's the final deck as I would play it now:
2 Diligent Farmhand
3 Llanowar Elves
3 Utopia Tree
4 Nomadic Elf
3 Spiritmonger
1 Carrion Wurm
2 Laquatus's Champion
2 Cabal Patriarch
1 Phyrexian Arena
4 Pernicious Deed
2 Dawn of the Dead
4 Duress
2 Diabolic Tutor
2 Haunting Echoes
1 Twilight's Call
2 Llanowar Wastes
4 Tainted Wood
9 Swamps
9 Forest
Sideboard:
2 Hurricane
4 Chainer's Edicts
3 Dodecapod
3 Tranquility
3 Pit Trap
Anyway, if anyone has any other ideas, feel free to share them. In the meantime, I'll be working on other decks, rocking my daughter to sleep, and giving her all the puppies and kitties I bust open.
Peace....
Carl Wilt
Brownsfan56@hotmail.com