I really hate Magic right now.

Scratch that. What I really hate is the fact that I can't seem to take my game to the next level of play - that level being qualifying for the tour. I try so hard to raise my game, my DCI rating, and erase my belief that Magic is basically one big rock, papers, scissors game full of luck and random topdecking.

Like today, when my opponent had one card in hand and I had four solid green creatures in play including a Call token and an Armadillo Cloaked Spellbane Centaur. Six turns into the game, I am going to win next turn, and out of all the cards left in his deck, he draws one of two Hibernations and wrecks my world.

The same player topdecks a Sickening Dreams game two after a 'Tog/Upheaval and Dreams away my two mana producers, one of which will help me power out my Mystic Enforcer next turn. Whatever. Some ten-year-old kid, fumbling his way into two victories with the current hot netdeck.

Don't let me mislead you. Up until Saturday's tournament, I was king of the net deck players. Realizing long ago that my deckbuilding skills were pretty nonexistent, I began to browse the net for decks that I enjoyed playing from week to week. Zevatog is my current favorite deck. I played Zevatog, minus four Repulses for two Sickening Dreams and two Illusions of Mediocrity, at Regionals and after starting 5-1-1, I dropped the next three and finished a miserable 5-4-1.

A buddy of mine decided last minute to play his favorite goblin deck, tossing the R/G beats deck that we built for him from the internet... And finished that same tournament 6-4. People were talking about watching him win with Goblin King and Squee's Embrace and other funny goblin dudes. He was being cheered on by random people who he never met.

The highlight of his tournament was perhaps the funniest thing I have ever heard and one of the greatest bluffs ever in Magic. Went something like this:

My buddy Stew: *sigh* I think you got me, man.

Random 'Tog player: Yeah. (He begins to scoop)

Stew Again: No, no, man. Better count that stuff out and be sure.

Happy little 'Tog player: Yeah, but I think it is enough. (He then precedes to discard his entire hand - including Counterspell, Counterspell, Circular Logic... And removes all the cards in his graveyard except for one lonely Upheaval) That looks like nineteen, man. Swing for nineteen.

Stew: Yep. Hmmmm.... Guess I can do this. (Taps one white.) Holy Day.

Holy Day!?!?! Holy s**t!!!

In case you guys don't know, Holy Day is the white Fog. And this wasn't some late game, it-didn't-matter, match for fun. Both guys were at 4-1, if I remember correctly.

How many of you guys playing 'Tog would have attacked into a one mana showing, two-card hand? I probably would have... Well, not if I were playing Stew. I knew that stupid card was in there.

Heh. Don't get me wrong. I am not lumping this into the"better lucky than good" random scrub win category. Stew took what looked like a no-win situation and bluffed his opponent into making a game-ending play. The game ended, all right, but I am sure not like 'Tog guy envisioned.

I play poker with Stew all the time. I hope to hell he isn't using that crap on me. (He is - The Ferrett)

There were many more Stew stories from that day; I will keep them tucked away for future enjoyment. I am proud of my buddy, though. Regionals was his first huge tournament. He has only been playing in sanctioned events for less than a year now - a lot less, I think. 6-4 was not too bad for his first Regionals.

And with goblins, even. Heh.

Back to me being king net deck player. Like I said, I am no deckbuilder, so I just find something I like and try to play it well. I really thought my chances with Zevatog would be good, even if I thought some R/G/U and G/U decks were probably better. I played 'Tog for about two months, both online and in local tournaments, and won probably 80% of my matches... So imagine my disappointment in dropping three straight matches and crushing my hopes for 1800 - and more importantly, Nationals.

Did I get outplayed in those three matches? More than likely. Although I did have to mulligan four times in three matches and got mana screwed five out of seven games. I don't use that excuse much though. That leads you down a road of denial and supreme frustration. Too many times we chalk up game losses to mana issues and don't really pay attention to the fact that most of us just plain suck and have no hope of ever qualifying. I think I remember Rizzo writing something about coming to the realization that you just don't have what it takes to win the qualifiers and you should accept your fate: Eternally chasing after that dream and living in the fantasy world of One-time-I-am-going-to-catch-every-break-and-win-this-damn-qualifier.

I think Mike McDermott said it best in Rounders:"Listen, here's the thing; if you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker." At least I realize that I am the sucker more often than not. Is it worse for me that I know that there just might not be a spot for me on the tour, yet I keep playing even if the game isn't fun for me if I can't win all the time?

Let's break that down, shall we?

When I say win all the time, I really mean, dammit, win once when it counts and then build on that victory next time. Winning breeds confidence, and generates great amounts of enjoyment for me. I hate losing. No matter what people tell you, losing does nothing for you. Sure, you can learn a lot from the situation that ended up being a loss... But from the loss itself? Nope. Well, maybe that it sucks and you don't want to do it anymore. Anyone tells you that losing builds whatever or teaches you lessons is full of crap. They are just losers trying to make their loser selves feel better about losing. Period.

Ummm... I think I was talking about the net deck playing issue of mine. Back to that.

You see, as I was saying before, I am a netdecker. But since I have haven't had what I deem any great success playing this way and inspired by the likes of John Rizzo - and more importantly, my buddy Stew - I decided to break free from the confining grasp of net.dec and go rogue forever more. Birds are singing, the air is sweeter to breathe, and life has a whole new brightness about it. Maybe my problem is that I haven't been committed to my deck. Hell, it's not my own creation. Who wants to win with something they copied? I will build a deck myself, crush dreams with it, and win on my own terms.

Yeah, right.

This radical line of thinking lasts all of one tournament. The problem with going rogue is that often times in your desire to play something not so like the others, you leave glaring holes in your deck design. Net decks are good for a number of reasons - the main one being that they are studied, tested, and agonized over by lots of good players. Well, sometimes they are crap, but the good ones are processed this way. I knew this when I took up the task of building my own deck, but we all want glory and recognition for being a deckbuilding genius, right? Anyways, here it is:

I Have Glaring Holes, Namely Zevatog
4 Birds of Paradise
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Mystic Enforcer
3 Spiritmonger
4 Vindicate
3 Global Ruin
3 Harrow
2 Might of Oaks
3 Armadillo Cloak
2 Pernicious Deed
2 Wrath of God
4 Call of the Herd
3 Brushland
2 City of Brass
1 Llanowar Wastes
4 Plains
7 Forest
3 Swamp
2 Caves of Koilos

Sideboard:
4 Compost
2 Pernicious Deed
3 Slay
4 Spellbane Centaur
2 Squirrel Nest

Yes, it has lots of problems. It has one too few land, and it's not fast enough to win against Zevatog - for which there were twelve in the field of twenty-two. I really thought it would be fine against that deck... And in testing online, it won better than 60%. I think some Gaea's Heralds in the sideboard would help out a lot. Zevatog has three answers to creatures: bounce, counters, and usually one big giant game ending bounce. The Heralds negate the second one in hopes of racing the very bad third one. If you are lucky enough to get a Herald and a Centaur out, oh boy oh boy!!!

Anyway, here is how the Grand Prix trial in Nashville that Stew, Eric and I went to Saturday: I lost terribly all day long and I never want to think about it again.

I lost every way you could imagine. To my own stupidity, to a Chaos being cast and me not being able to block with my lonely Spiritmonger, to three straight topdecks by an eight-year-old playing 'Tog. I can't remember a worse tournament than this. I shall never speak of it again...

I'd say the tournament didn't go very well at all. Stew had the best record of our little group, and the only two scrubs he was able to beat was Eric and myself. I would have won my fourth match and would have had a chance to make top 8... Provided I won my last match had I remembered we got a three-minute time extension because I was playing the storeowner and he had some business to attend to when the round started. I blame myself for this oversight. Seems I have other things to work on besides my game and deckbuilding. I rushed in an attempt to kill my opponent in the five extra turns and was one turn away from victory when I ran out of turns.

A lot of people were there that I met when I finished third at the PTQ in Nashville a couple of months ago - including Jarrod Burt, who was my dream crusher for that tournament. I wrote up a report about that one and submitted it somewhere, but never heard back from them and I never saw it online.

I think I am going back to Zevatog. It plays well, I am comfortable with it, and I would rather win than be frustrated by stupid decks that I build and fail miserably with. I played Zevatog Monday night in a local tournament and went undefeated and had no problems. It was fun to have a winning record again. Hell, if Zev can get 200 rating points playing that deck, so can I!!! Who cares if I built the deck or not... It's the playing and winning that counts right? Sounds like a Spike statement if I ever heard one.

David Spears
Gnats on MTG Online (no I didn't pick that, it was assigned)

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