Wachter: Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?

Wise: (laughs) I don't really want to go into individual writers, because there's some out there who aren't very good unfortunately...

Wachter: Well, what are some of the major things you see writers doing that you think shouldn't be done?

Wise: (voice gets a bit louder and more sarcastic) I think that one thing that really shouldn't be done is when a writer refers to someone as"Becky" over and over again. It's unprofessional, it's always tied up in some kind of weak tangent, and frankly you have to be really, really bald to do it. Aside from that... (laughs)

Wachter: Okay, aside from people who are named Rizzo...

Wise: Who? (laughs)

The Sideboard interview, Toby Wachter and Gary Wise

Rizzo is gone.

After reading what so many others have said, what can I say? That John Friggin' Rizzo was the successor (in more than one way) of Jamie Wakefield? That he was the voice of the people? That he influenced players worldwide? That he made the Nightscape Familiar a very happy card indeed?

I can't say anything.

Anger.

Disbelief.

Regret.

Remorse.

Acceptance.

Okay, that's over with. Let's get on with our shattered lives.

For a month or two, I've thought to myself that Rizzo should go into "real" writing. He has a flair for the written word - a sense of humor and a well-turned phrase made reading his words such a joy. Imagine the first Rizzo novel. I can't wait.

I can live without his Magic writing. Just.

Okay. So "What would Rizzo do?"

He would write.

He would write with humor and in his style - brazenly and with a certain rough elegance.

And so I resolve to write. To be like Rizzo. To do like Rizzo did.

JFR wrote about the decks he played and how he played them. Hmmm. I could do that. But my decks are often based on stuff I read on the internet. How can I reconcile my use of ideas I get from internet decks with my aspirations of being a Rizzo? I will have to hang my head in shame.

On the other hand, the decks I look at on the 'net are often combo decks, or decks I sub-optimise by using what I have. I don't have the four Shadowmage Infiltrators, four Call of the Herd, or four whatever else is the money rare this week. I can't afford them. I can't afford to draft constantly to get them. I make decks based on what I have now, not what I can get.

Then I go and play against people who make decks based on what they can get, and then get the cards they need for those decks. I wonder if this is affecting my rating?

So what did I play?

First, I'll say what I nearly played.

I nearly played a Wild Research deck with Anurid Scavenger. Yes, I read about it on the internet... But I don't have enough of the madness cards nor the Anurids, so in the end the deck went back into the "Maybe later" file. Even so, I'm too bad a player to remember to put the card to the bottom of the library each upkeep. The basic concept is Research for a Fiery Temper, preferably with no cards in hand. Zap the opponent for three, paying only one mana. Do that at the end of their turn, and then recycle the Fiery Temper back into the library for next time. Add Circular Logic for countering, Goblin Trenches in the sideboard and a few other red, green or blue cards and there's the deck.

(Okay. My ten-year old son just informed me that the Wild Research costs two mana to activate, which means zapping the opponent for three each turn costs three mana. Thanks. D'oh. Good thing I didn't play the deck, then.)

Okay. I didn't play that.

I also didn't play this:

Sickening Lich Featuring Necra Sanctuary
4 Utopia Tree
4 Sickening Dreams
4 Gerrard's Verdict
3 Heroes' Reunion
2 Addle
4 Spectral Lynx
4 Death Grasp
2 Vindicate
3 Overgrown Estate
3 Necra Sanctuary
2 Nefarious Lich

3 Elfhame Palace
3 Caves of Koilos
2 Timberland Ruins
1 City of Brass
7 Swamp
5 Forest
4 Plains

Sideboard:
3 Desolation Angel
4 Phyrexian Arena
2 Disenchant
2 CoP: Green
2 CoP: Red
2 CoP: Black

Okay. What is that pile? For those who read a nice little article on combo decks in the current type II will have seen a Sickening Dreams/Nefarious Lich combo deck. This is it (believe it or not) with a few additions. First, the Necra Sanctuary/Overgrown Estate effect (I nearly said "combo" - but Wayne said that it's not a combo unless it goes off in one turn...) can nicely beat down the opponent for three each turn. Second, the Spectral Lynx sits there regenerating and stopping attackers. Third, the Death Grasps and Heroes' Reunions can keep you in the game for a little longer while you wait for the Lich (or the Necra Sanctuary/Overgrown Estate to bop the other person to death). Fourth, if you do get the Lich without the Overgrown Estate, drop a Heroes' Reunion - draw seven cards for a white and a green.

I didn't play this deck in the main rounds, but I did play it against a mono-black deck played by another semi-regular at the venue. David was playing a mono-black, cabal coffer thing with Duress, Corrupts, Soul Burn, Chainer's Edict, Innocent Blood. First game was slow for me, and he killed (or more accurately, made me sacrifice) every creature I dropped (which would be Utopia Trees and Spectral Lynx). I was Duressed, Mind Sludged, Soul Burned... And then he followed up with a Haunting Echoes. With every kill card in the deck now removed from the game, I conceded.

So... Second game. After boarding in a CoP: Black, one Arena, and one Angel, we started. I mulliganed to six and kept a two-land hand with the Circle of Protection in it.

After a couple of turns, I dropped the CoP. Then it was waiting time. I dropped a Spectral Lynx, then Addled him for black a couple of times, stopping the Haunting Echoes from coming back. A Necra Sanctuary in play meant a point of damage a turn, which didn't help him. The next turn an Overgrown Estate came out and he was taking three points instead. The final kill came with a Sickening Dreams for a few points, sweeping the board and smacking down to death.

Okay. Third game. This I remember more for the fact that I got the combo out!!!!!

The Overgrown Estate and Necra Sanctuary was already doing its usual business and a Death Grasp or two helped, but the final blow was from dropping the Nefarious Lich, saccing land to the Estate, drawing into a Sickening Dreams, and beating down. I even kept enough land to regenerate my Lynx, just in case.

Okay. But that was the deck I didn't play.

I played this:

CounterBolt
4 Firebolt
4 Fire/Ice
4 Counterspell
4 Syncopate
4 Urza's Rage
4 Fact or Fiction
4 Skizzik
4 Flametongue Kavu
3 Prophetic Bolt

2 Shivan Reef
1 Keldon Necropolis
11 Island
11 Mountain

Side:
3 Hibernation
2 Cognivore
2 Time Stretch
2 Planeswalker's Fury
2 Obliterate
4 Force Spike

The first thing that comes to mind is "What were you thinking???"

The second thing is that, as I already know, I suck. Big deal.

Anyway, as luck would have it, the first round was against David. He had changed decks, too.

We shuffle up. He goes first. He lays an Island. Hmm.... Blue. I lay a Mountain and Firebolt him. He lays a mountain. What on earth? Great, I'm playing counterburn and so is he.

Well... not quite. He's added white, and has Absorb and Goblin Trenches.

I don't remember the first game very well. He slammed me with Rages (Urza must be really pissed by now - Urza's Really Really Pissed Off, 8R, Do 99 points of damage, can't be countered), and Bolted me to death, whilst countering my efforts to play Skizzik and friends.

Okay. I didn't see any Flametongue bait, so I sided out three (keeping one just in case). In came a Cognivore and a Planeswalker's Fury, and an Obliterate.

I decide to draw a card. He goes first and drops an Aegis of Honor. What the hell? I read it. I read it again. I look at the Firebolt and the Rage in my hand. For one lousy mana he can redirect my Rage back at me. Gulp.

This game went blindingly slow. I recalled him Raging me and casting Absorb at it. The Rage hits me for three and he gains three life. Eventually I draw enough land to play the Cognivore that I drew in my opening hand. I even Prophetic Bolt to check the next four cards. By that time, the Cognivore is around twelve. I smack him with it whilst he rushes to find enough mana to Rage-with-tha-kicka me. He lost the race.

I sided in the other Cognivore and I think the Force Spikes - I didn't see them in the next game. The game went for a while, although the Aegis didn't come out this time. Still... It took time to get the Cognivore out. I played a Fact or Fiction, which he countered which I countered which he Absorbed... Fact or Fiction failed... And he was tapped out for the Cognivore. Out it came.

He was at eighteen life. There were nineteen instants in both of our graveyards. At the end of his turn he played something and Absorbed it to gain three life.

In my turn, I swung with the Cognivore. Okay; another turn to go. Then at the start of the next turn, I realised that he had Absorbed an instant... and thus, the Cognivore was and had been a 21/21. He should be dead. Oops.

Now... Some players would be jumping up and ending the round. I don't. I've let (ahem) "better" players take back Tropical Islands after pointing out my Vine Dryad had forestwalk, and thus being at one point of life he might want to reconsider playing it. That cost me a win at the extended tourney - he sat on one life for ages and eventually won, and with time out we drew one game each.

Back to now (or more recent events). I let the Absorb thing go as something done when damage was sitting on the stack, but before it resolved - so that playing the instants wouldn't effect the size of the 'Vore, but the absorb would give him enough life to still be around.

Unfortunately, there was little he could do, and it was all over.

Game 2:
This is a very little tournament. It got smaller. One guy had disappeared after entering, now the other guy (who had a "bye" since the first guy had vanished) also vanished... Meaning that we had a bye for one player and an auto-win for the other person he got paired with in the second round. Lucky me got to play. Good. That's why I go to tournaments. To Play.

Let's say that again: To Play.

I hate byes. I would rather play and lose than have a bye. I like winning... But I love playing.

Anyway, my wish came true and I lost rather than had a bye. I played Tomoki who, well... Beats me. I don't think I've ever played him and won. Not even a game. And later we find that to be very true.

Anyway, Tomoki is playing a Green/Red/Black thing. Very fast. Out comes a Wild Mongrel (which, I admit, is my favourite green card). Hmm. Then a flurry of beats occurs, which I can do little about. My attempt to drop a Flametongue is responded to with a Flametongue of his own. Ouch. I'm Duressed. Assorted other beats occur.

Next game, I side in Hibernation. Hah! Tomoki shows me what he is bringing into the deck. He also names about half the cards in the main deck - including the stuff he hadn't seen (it's his fault - he didn't let me live long enough!). I reciprocate and tell him I'm siding in Hibernations and Obliterate. He points out that Obliterate might be a little costly (i.e. I won't be alive long enough to drop enough land to Obliterate). Good point. I pull them out.

Game two is a match for game one. I don't see a Hibernation and die to Mongrel and Rootwalla beats, even though I Prophetic Bolted, Raged, and Firebolted the damn thing. Unfortunately, not all at the same time.

He checks over my sideboard, and told me I should have sided in the Force Spikes. Often he plays second-turn Mongrel, tapping out. Force Spike would have helped. A little.

Anyway, I played some "fun" rounds with Tomoki later.

In the third game, I play a young lad who has only played for about a month. His deck has some nice black creatures, but is a little bit unfocussed. Plus I've got err, Skizzik. Rage. Flametongue.

If anything, I feel guilty afterwards. If he takes it one way, he'll find the cards he needs and put together a deck with a bit more oomph. If he takes it the other way, he'll chuck in playing all together.

Whilst game three drones on and on (forever, it seemed and in the end they drew), I played Tomoki with my land destruction deck:

Braids goes boom
4 Shock
1 Grim Lavamancer
4 Terminate
4 Nightscape Familiar (all bow down and worship the sexual chocolateness!)
4 Stone Rain
2 Tectonic Instability
3 Rancid Earth
2 Braids, Cabal Minion
4 Pain/Suffering
2 Mine Layer
2 Soul Burn
1 Dingus Egg
2 Implode
2 Mind Sludge

2 Tainted Peak
2 Urborg Volcano
2 Barbarian Ring
1 Shadowblood Ridge
4 Sulfurous Springs
9 Swamp
6 Mountain

Side:
3 Bend or Break
1 Boil
4 Lava Blister
3 Smoldering Tar
4 Petravark

Now this game was good... But too slow. I blew up his land, he hit me with Wild Mongrel. I terminate Herd tokens, but to no avail. Oops.

Oh well. I side in Lava Blister and a Smoldering Tar.

The second game went big guns. Bang, blew a land. Boom, another land. He takes the six rather than the Lava Blister and I Rancid Earth it the next turn. In the end, he top decks a mountain, drops it, and Reckless Charges his Mongrel for the win. Not bad for someone with one card in hand (I had Mind Sludged him)!

I think I've got that out of my system. I played a tournament. I lost (came err... Third or second depending on count back). I had fun. That's why I play.

Marty Kay*

* - I needed a footnote in here somewhere.

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