"I can't believe you're playing that crap."

"You must want to go home early."

"Stop smoking crack."

This is a small sampling of the first things I heard when I told people I would play Tempting Wurm at States. Apparently, everyone but me had dismissed this obscure rare from Onslaught as chaff. What I saw, however, was a 5/5 for 1G.

Before you hit the back button, allow me to explain.

Obviously, this card was not designed to be played turn 2, when the opponent has six cards in hand: Rather, I figured I could bring this out turn 4, when the opponent has about three cards in hand. This would give me a fattie with little to no drawback, and still have mana untapped to cast burn or another guy. Used in this situation, it takes the job of the departed Thornscape Familiar, but provides me with a far superior creature in the process.

There are many other cases to be made for the Wurm's inclusion: First, keep in mind that nearly every creature in the current environment is smaller than the Wurm itself. The only exceptions that see notable play are Krosan Tusker, Psychatog, and (rarely) Nantuko Shade. (*Space for the Ferrett to remind me of some that I missed*) I did not count Roar of the Wurm because it cannot be put into play off of Tempting Wurm's drawback.

Anyway, the fact that these creatures are smaller means that even if three or four creatures happen to come into play, they can be overcome as long as you play correctly. In addition, oftentimes you will have burn to get rid of one or two of the creatures, evening the number of creatures and leaving you in a superior position. The key concept here is that Tempting Wurm does not give you card disadvantage. This is what makes it playable, whereas cards like Minotaur Explorer were not.

Another case here is the odds. Although I did not do a statistical analysis, it is commonly known that about one-third of any beatdown-oriented deck is creatures. Thus, the odds are that they can drop about two-thirds of their hand on the table, and they probably will drop a little less than that (lands and creatures are put into play early, before you want to be casting this, while instants are often saved until later). With this in mind you can make accurate play decisions that backfire very rarely. Unfortunately, you will see in the last match in this article a situation where I predicted that three or four creatures would come into play... When he put down five. The good thing is that had I drawn land in that game, I still would have won. However, I will save a complete defense of my play in that game for later.

The one strike against the Wurm: Enchantments (read Mirari's Wake). This is the only matchup where the Wurm MUST come out of the maindeck. The Mirari's Wake deck also houses Krosan Tusker, which is a problem. Opposition can be a problem also, but it is less so because it is reliant on creatures. Luckily I did not play against wake at states.

So instead of an account of my arduous testing process or of the short ten-minute ride on the single train to get to Neutral Ground, I began the report with a four-paragraph persuasive essay on Tempting Wurm. A change in pace, perhaps. However, the rest will certainly fit the mold, as below lies the obligatory decklist, then the part you guys actually might want to read - the report.

What's the deck called? When I first sent it to The Ferrett, his response was as follows:

"Wow. You have cojones the size of..."

Beanbags
4 Wooded Foothills
2 Mossfire Valley
4 Karplusan Forest
8 Mountain
6 Forest
4 Browbeat
4 Volcanic Hammer
3 Shock
3 Violent Eruption
4 Grim Lavamancer
4 Blistering Firecat
2 Hystrodon
4 Basking Rootwalla
4 Wild Mongrel
3 Tempting Wurm
1 Naturalize

Sideboard:
3 Compost
3 Naturalize
2 Flaring Pain
2 Spellbane Centaur
4 Threaten
1 Ernham Djinn

The maindeck Naturalize should accurately reflect my fear of the Wake matchup. However, it turns out that I did not cast a Naturalize all day.

Round 1 - Eric, BUG Opposition
His list was similar to the Invitational deck, from what I saw. Changes included Grand Coliseums and Krosan Tuskers to fix the mana.

Game 1 - We engaged in some friendly banter beforehand, in which we both claimed we were rogue. I was faced with a situation this game where I was staring down a Roar token and one other guy (a Wild Mongrel, I believe). I had a lonely Basking Rootwalla out, and had been drawing land. He had two cards in hand and I cast Tempting Wurm: Sure enough, one of the cards was a Tusker. A turn later, I scooped them up.

At this point, the Wurms came out for a naturalize and two Spellbane Centaur. If I had to do it again, I would have sided out one Wurm and the maindeck Naturalize for the Spellbanes. Most of his creatures were small (except the roar tokens and tusker, which most likely will be cycled), and this makes Opposition a nominal threat.

Game 2 - I was beating him down with a mongrel-madness draw and a Blistering Firecat when he smothered the mongrel and played Braids, Cabal Minion. A turn later, he played Finkel, which was promptly Volcanic Hammered. I still had card advantage and should have won the game with time, but he accelerated the process by forgetting to sacrifice to the Braids before drawing a card. We both knew the ruling and proceeded to game 3.

I sided out the Naturalizes this game, bringing back two Wurms.

Game 3 - I believe he saw Mesmeric Fiend and Finkel in this game, but they both died very quickly to burn. My notes are not very good for this game, but I did eventually come out on top with card advantage from Hystrodon and Browbeat.

1-0 (2-1)

Round 2 - (unknown), B/u Aggro
His deck had Mesmeric Fiend, Finkel, and Shade, plus a Braids/Rancid Earth component, along with the usual complement of Smother and Chainer's Edict.

Game 1 - I had a Lavamancer, Rootwalla, and Tempting Wurm out, while he had seven mana and a Shade. He Smothered the Wurm, then swung, forcing me to chump with the Rootwalla. However, this left him with only four mana untapped, allowing me to Volcanic Hammer then ping the Shade to death on my next turn. A turn later, I Lavamancered him, then showed him Violent Eruption for the win.

Not knowing what was going on, I sided in three composts for a naturalize and the Hystrodons.

Game 2 - At the beginning of this game, he turn 1 Duressed an opening-hand Compost. This kept the game equally as close as the last one. He had a Shade that had just knocked me to two life, but left him tapped out. I had nothing on the board and three cards in hand. He was at three life. Luckily, one of my cards was a Browbeat that turned up a Rootwalla and a Shock for the Shade. I played out a Wild Mongrel (the other card in my hand) and passed. Sure enough, next turn he tapped out to flashback an Edict, to which I played a sacrificial Rootwalla. Next turn I attacked and chucked my hand for the win.

2-0 (4-1)

Round 3 - James, B/u Aggro
This was almost the exact same deck as last round, except that he also had Thieving Magpie. Rancid Earth/Braids was a more prominent component of this deck than the last one.

We were seated at table 7 this round, one of the two tables that gets deck checked every round. After we got them back and shuffled extensively, we began playing with a 7-minute extension.

Game 1 - I got a"just win" hand. Mongrel, Eruption, Firecat and Tempting Wurm - in that order. All he could do was Smother the Wurm, which eventually allowed a second Eruption to be cast through the mongrel.

Composts once again joined the fray, but I sided out Tempting Wurm instead of Hystrodon, this time hoping to leave him with dead (or less useful) smothers.

Game 2 - My hand was amazing but it only had two lands. I got out compost turn two but he had a double Rancid Earth, double Braids draw. Still, Compost allowed me to stay in the game nearly ten minutes, as I continued to replace the land and draw my other Composts. Eventually, however, he got two Finkels and a Magpie to finish me off.

Game 3 - He had another Braids/Earth draw, but I had a timely Shock and two opening-hand Composts. I draw into the third a few turns later, and he eventually succumbed to a swarm of Mongrels, Firecats, and Rootwallas.

3-0 (6-2)

*Begin Digression*

So far, I felt pretty good about the deck. I definitely underestimated the amount of viable decks that could run four Smothers, but it was not hurting my performance at all. I had a gut feeling that I'd run into U/G somewhere, and Tempting Wurm would win me a match. Most of my friends were doing well, although the rest of Forbidden Planet seemed to be having a bad day (only Brian Tweedy stuck around until the late rounds). They were all playing Wake - a deck I really wanted to play but it just didn't match up well enough against U/G. Anyway, after a fifteeen-minute break so I could get some Subway, it was on to round 4.

*End Digression*

Round 4 - (unknown), Tog
It appeared that my opponent was part of Don Lim and Zev Gurwitz's group, who are notorious for playing Tog and keeping their special version secret. I think the deck had something like two Future Sight, the eight viable counterspells, Deep Analysis, Aether Burst, and two or three Psychatogs and one Zombie Infestation for win conditions. In the matches I watched of it throughout the day, it looked like it only lost when it couldn't draw a win condition... Which happened a little more often then it should have.

I was once again at table 7 in this round, which meant another deck check. I ate the second half of my Subway during the eight minutes it took them to check the decks.

Game 1 - I got severely mana flooded, as often happens after a deck check. He drew gas, including a Finkel (I think) and two Psychatogs, while all I had was a mongrel (which got countered) and a Volcanic Hammer (which I probably pointed at Jonny Magic). Shuffling and thinning with Wooded Foothills did nothing to help my mana woes.

IN: 2 Spellbane Centaur, 1 Naturalize
OUT: 2 Blistering Firecat, 1 Tempting Wurm

Game 2 - We both got flooded this game. I drew and played Spellbane Centaur, which was promptly Ghastly Demised from the board. A few turns later I played a Mongrel, which resolved, then had a second Spellbane countered. However, his deck gave him only land after that, and my Mongrel plus a Lavamancer went all the way.

IN: 1 Tempting Wurm, 1 Compost
OUT: 2 Naturalize

Game 3 - This game he drew land, Upheavals and Aether Bursts. My draw of Wild Mongrel and (eventually) three Basking Rootwalla was perfect to deal with his hand. Each time I played a Rootwalla, I was greeted with the response of"How lucky!" - which of course told me of the Upheavals sitting useless in his two-card hand. Although my guys got bounced four times, he could only hang on so long as no win condition came to the top of his deck.

4-0 (8-3)

After the match, he told Don that he had sided out Future Sight; something I figured out game 2. I would have left in Future Sight, but I doubt they tested the R/G matchup much. Perhaps Lim and Co. found out that three win conditions were enough with the enchantment, but not enough without it. I'll never know.

Round 5 - (unknown), U/G Madness
A fairly standard build, although I never found out if he used Aether Burst or Counterspell. His sideboard was radically different than most, however.

Game 1 - I stalled on two lands and he had a good draw with three creatures. I lost, right? Hah! With three cards in his hand, I played Tempting Wurm, which he let resolve without playing anything. This stopped his army of Rootwalla, Mongrel, and Arrogant Wurm in its tracks. I then proceeded to lay two more Tempting Wurms on consecutive turns to make it academic. One's fair, two is kinda cheap... But three is just effin' nasty.

Standard U/G sideboard: 4 Threaten came in, while the Naturalize, Hystrodons and one Firecat hit the board.

Game 2 - He got turn 1 Sylvan Safekeeper (sided), then had Divert when I Hammered it on turn 2. However, I made a comeback as next turn I played a Lavamancer and started attacking his mana. He managed to get a Roar token into play, but I killed it without incident and he never got back to four mana. However, he should have still beaten me, when the following situation came up.

Him: Eight Life, Island, Forest, City of (Br)ass in play, all untapped. He had Sylvan Safekeeper, Wild Mongrel, and Basking Rootwalla untapped, with a few other tapped creatures. He was down to two cards in hand.

Me: 5 Life, 6 mana on the board untapped, with Rootwalla, two Mongrel and Lavamancer in play. No cards are in my graveyard, and I have two Threatens in hand.

What would you do? I was facing lethal damage, so I went for the kill. I Threatened the Mongrel on his side. He madnessed Arrogant Wurm in response, going to seven, but did not activate the Safekeeper. That was mistake number 1. I glanced at a spectator while trying to hold in my own surprised look, and noticed that he too was in shock. With the added 3/3 mongrel on my side, I attacked with everything but the Lavamancer.

He blocked Rootwalla with Rootwalla and one of the unpumped Mongrels with the Wurm. Mistake number 2.

He did not block with the Safekeeper. Mistake number 3.

The two mongrels hit for six after I discarded the other Threaten, then I Lavamancered him for the kill.

5-0 (10-3)

After the match, there was a cacophony of people telling him what happened. Unfortunately, he just shrugged everyone off with an"Oh well." I feel really sorry for this kid, who was rather young, because shrugging things like that off do not make you a better player. Further cementing this, he made similar mistakes in the next round and missed the top 8 by a significant margin. I hope that in the future, he'll be more accepting toward constructive criticism like that given to him after my match.

With a 5-0 record, there was a good chance I could draw in to the Top 8. I stuck around till the beginning of round 6, and eagerly viewed the pairings... I was paired with another fifteen! I'm in the top 8!

Round 6 - Chris Donovan
We sat down at Table 1, and after a brief discussion of tiebreakers (which I have no idea about because I'm not often at the top), we signed the match result slip. Then both of us sat down to watch the other 5-0, Jason Imperiale, play his monogreen Elf deck against David Chin playing U/G. Unfortunately for Jason, David had timely Circular Logics and Aether Bursts in both games, nullifying Elephant Guides, Giant Growths, and Muscle Bursts left and right. By the time Elvish Champion gave Jason forestwalking power, David was already in control. Jason lost the next round as well and missed the top 8.

5-0-1 (10-3-1)

Round 7 - David Chin, UG Madness
Once again being at table 1, we IDed. David and I talked for about twenty minutes, and it turns out he was from Flushing, where most of my friends are from. After comparing stories, we talked about our decks. The Tempting Wurm had already traveled the grapevine, so there was no sense keeping it secret. His deck, I found out, was fairly standard, and he had decided to play it late last night. I congratulated him on his performance, then disappeared until the top 8.

5-0-2 (10-3-2)

When the standings were read, I was seeded fourth in the Top 8. David Chin was fifth, so we sat down and played our match.

Top 8 - David Chin, UG Madness
This was a Feature Match - although at the time of this writing, it was not yet up on the Sideboard. There was a crowd of around twenty people watching, in addition to the Head Judge and Reporter. Being my first feature match, I was quite nervous. What if my deck chose this round to embarrass me?

Game 1 - I played fine, but I didn't draw my Tempting Wurms, while he drew Arrogant ones. Two of them finished me off before I could find an answer..

This was not the way I wanted to start off. Not only did I not get to play a Tempting Wurm, but I had just been completely outdrawn. I went with the standard sideboard and moved to game 2.

Game 2 - He mulliganed down to five. So I won, right? Hah! My hand had a mountain, Foothills, Lavamancer, Tempting Wurm, Volcanic Hammer, Threaten, and eruption. Would have been a great hand, had I drawn land in the next six turns. Here's a PBP of the next three turns:

Me: Mountain, Lavamancer, go.
Him: Forest, go.
Me: (draw Blistering Firecat) Foothills, attack go.

At this point I did not want to cast the Wurm, since I knew he would probably play three or four creatures and it would get him out of manascrew. I also wanted to buy a turn before I had to sac the Foothills, hopefully drawing into land.

Him: Draw, go. (Six cards)

Me: Draw Shock. Sacrifice Foothills, go to nineteen, get a forest. Play Tempting Wurm.

This was my only play: If I chose to wait instead, all it would take is one land on his side to make his deck run. After looking at the Shock, Threaten, and Volcanic Hammer in my hand, I decided I could handle the onslaught of four creatures.

He played Arrogant Wurm, Wonder, Two Mongrels, and Rootwalla.

That adds up to five.

Crap.

Him: Draw, play island, go.

Now I know it was the correct play anyway.

Me: Untap, draw Firecat, Hammer the Mongrel, attack.

If I made a mistake, I made it here. I should not have attacked him, as it put wonder in the graveyard. However, I felt that I should be able to race, especially with the stuff in my hand.

This PBP may not be exactly accurate, but on my last turn he attacked with everything, then cast a Mongrel, leaving U untapped. He showed me Logic and I scooped. However, I realized after the match that had I drawn two land in those six turns, I could have Threatened the Mongrel, paid for the Logic, and attacked for exactly the ten required damage to kill him after discarding my hand... That's how close it was. If I had drawn one land, I could have Hammered and Shocked on the same turn, letting me take out a Rootwalla in addition to a Mongrel. The tempting Wurm did not lose me this game: manascrew did. Had I not been manascrewed I could have easily won. In fact, the only loss all day I would attribute to the Wurm was game 1 of round 1, when he played a Tusker to join a Roar token already in play. Even in that case, I would have most certainly lost without the Wurm, but had a chance to win with it.

5-1-2 (10-5-2)

In the end, I wound up with a booster box and a States playmat, and my highest finish of all time (6th place). Even with a metagame that included more Smothers than I expected, I still wouldn't change a single card if I did it over. In my testing, I had almost dismissed R/G as a possibility until I discovered Tempting Wurm, which increased the win percentages on U/G, MBC, and even Sligh. I've enjoyed finally making my own deck to bring to states, and I'm very happy that I was able to do well with it.

This leaves just one unanswered question... can I make Tempting Wurm work in monogreen stompy for extended?

John Healy
IRC: one2squee
AIM: ispeakasian
Email: johnhoops2@aol.com

P.S.: I'd appreciate any comments/questions/suggestions on this deck, the Extended metagame, or anything. I'm probably not gonna get that many e-mails, so I'll be able to respond to everyone.

P.P.S.: Thanks to Jeremy Muir for helping me with the deck, Galen Wang for actually thinking it might work, a million people who helped me test on Apprentice, David Chin for not ridiculing me about the Wurms after our match like some of the gallery was, and to the Sideboard staff for giving me a feature match. Slops to everyone who thought I would go 0-2 drop, and to the people who asked me to draft after round 5.