"Can you imagine? I mean, if we walk into Nationals, what does that say about Arizona?"
- Jeremiah Wheeler, commenting on our mutual bewilderment at the prospect of top 8'ing at Regionals, thus affording us an invitation to Nationals.

That was after round 7, when we were both 6-1. But wait; let's backtrack a bit.

It's 7:00 on Saturday morning. My good friends Matt, Andy, and I gather in Matt's living room and discuss what we're going to play for Regionals. Andy opts for Monastery Tog instead of Zevatog (a decision which is perplexing, not only because Monastery Tog is as sexy as David Hasselhoff in a Speedo, but because he's been playing Zevatog for the last two months and has owned the local scene with it) and Matt decides to play Cunning Wake with some netdeck Exalted Angels. That, however, means I have no Angels for my first choice, G/W Beats; thanks, but I really don't want to play the deck if I don't have the best card in the format. Matt suggests R/G Beats and, after an epic struggle that involves him letting me use his Duelist life counter for the day, I reluctantly agree.

We tweak the deck just a bit, agreeing that many copies of Phantom Centaur is amazing and three Elephant Guides is enough as the deck runs twelve non-creature spells (not including Elephant Guide itself).

Main:
4 Phantom Centaur
4 Basking Rootwalla
4 Wild Mongrel
4 Llanowar Elf
4 Violent Eruption
4 Grim Lavamancer
4 Volcanic Hammer
4 Firebolt
3 Elephant Guide
3 Call of the Herd
7 Forest
4 Mountain
4 Karplusan Forest
4 Wooded Foothills
2 Barbarian Ring
1 Mossfire Valley

Sideboard:
3 Compost
3 Naturalize
3 Flaring Pain
3 Ensnaring Bridge
3 Slice and Dice

Before I get into the actual report, let me review the props/slops, praps/slaps, and what could be switched around.

Props:

• Phantom Centaur - Continues to spank black.
• Violent Eruption - A mize every time I drew it.
• Forest - Helped me cast Phantom Centaur.

Slops:

• Basking Rootwalla - Sided it out first damn near every time.

• Praps: Compost - 1337 //1Z3.
• Slaps: Me - Draw your sideboard cards, dammit!

Changes to the deck: Add Threaten to the board! Take out either Flaring Pain or Slice and Dice (a failed experiment against the mirror). Perhaps take out the Basking Rootwalla for a fourth Call of the Herd and three Burning Wishes (if you want to play the Burning Wish version). Be sure to play four Phantom Centaurs and four Violent Eruptions so you can peel them off the top like any budding Kai Budde should.

Ha. A pun!

Round 1: Santos playing MBC
Game 1: I get off to a slow start with turn 1 Basking Rootwalla and turn 2 nothing. Turn 3, I Elephant Guide the Rootwalla and move straight to attacking. Santos Smothers the Basking Rootwalla and says,"I probably should have done that in response." I respond with a polite,"Well, I didn't really give you ample time to respond. It's fine."

He proceeds to have an answer for my next five creatures, though I do burn him on the way down to six. He ends his turn with two mana floating and I say,"Uh, burn for two?" To which he responds,"Whoops... I'll Diabolic Tutor. Go." I draw a card, remember that I had a Violent Eruption in my hand, and hit myself for letting him Diabolic Tutor. The game is his.

Game 2: Turn two Compost. Turn three Compost. Yah.

Game 3: I cast a turn 2 Wild Mongrel and continue to cast cards in a turnly fashion. He gets stuck with three mana until, with lethal damage on the board, he finally draws into the fourth Swamp. He casts a Diabolic Tutor for a Mutilate (I guess Tutor reveals the card now), tapping out. He then plays Black Lotus and Mox Jet to cast the Mutilate and I cry.

No, not really. I win.

Games: 2-1 Matches: 1-0

Round 2: Chris playing R/G Beats
Game 1: This entire match is foggy, but he drew about three Llanowar Elves and I had an answer (in the form of burn) for anything decent he played. Meanwhile, he had to deal with a Phantom Centaur with an Elephant Guide on it. I won that one.

Game 2: In come the Slice and Dices and a few Ensnaring Bridges. It doesn't matter, as this game pretty plays out like the first one, except in my opponent's favor.

Game 3: I draw two Violent Eruptions and they take down a combined five creatures. That slight two-for-five card advantage tilts the game and I end up winning.

Note: I did draw Slice and Dice a turn before I swung for the win, but the game had already been decided.

Games: 4-2 Matches: 2-0

Round 3: Nick playing B/W/g Slide (Aggro's favorite matchup, of all decks)
Game 1: Goodie! I hear Chainer's Edict, Astral Slide, Wrath of God, Smother, and Exalted Angel all make my deck jump for joy. I also heard - from the same source, coincidentally - that straight-up burn makes Slide jump for joy. I burn him to death game one with three Firebolts, two Violent Eruptions, and two Volcanic Hammers.

Game 2: I get a few quick creatures and he morphs on turn 3. I hastily Firebolt it - and to my dismay, it's a Nantuko Vigilante. I attack and bring Nick down to the single-digit range. Next turn, he casts Wrath of God and says go. I play a Phantom Centaur and pass the turn. He topdecks Teroh's Faithful to save him from the Violent Eruption in my hand. Next turn is an Exalted Angel and that's it for that endeavor.

Game 3: Refer to game two.

Games: 5-4 Matches: 2-1

Round 4: ?? playing W/R Slide
Game 1: I get out a few creatures and a burn spell or two, and my opponent is forced to Wrath on turn 5 (he played a cycling land on turn 4). After the Wrath, I recover with another creature, swing the next turn, and burn for the win.

Game 2: Side in three Naturalize, though I wouldn't see them (the only sideboard card I'm capable of drawing is Compost... And in multiples at that), though it didn't really matter. I pretty much start with the same creature rush but this time he casts Wrath of God turn 4. I play a Phantom Centaur and a Basking Rootwalla the next turn, and he doesn't have an answer. I attack for eight and Volcanic Hammer to the dome for the win.

Games: 7-4 Matches: 3-1

Round 5: ?? playing Cunning Wake
Game 1: I get the insane hand with a turn 1 Basking Rootwalla, turn 2 Wild Mongrel, turn 3 Elephant Guide on the Wild Mongrel. At the end of that turn he casts Cunning Wish for a Chastise. His turn, he plays a land and passes. I Elephant Guide the Rootwalla - and as expected, he Chastises the Wild Mongrel. He doesn't draw into the Wrath of God during his next turn and takes it up his cunning rear.

Game 2: In go two Flaring Pains and three Naturalizes - though, as usual, I wouldn't see a damn one of either of them. He actually gets off a fourth-turn Wrath of God and fifth-turn Teroh's Faithful that stops my assault (I have no Phantom Centaur in play). The game sits at a standstill until about five turns later, when my opponent taps all nine lands for eighteen mana thanks to a Mirari's Wake, casts Mirari, and Mirari's a Time Stretch (a card that I would find out, after the match, was so good that it had to be the 61^st card in the deck). I cry in the corner as he takes his four rather drawn-out turns, which involve him recycling more than half his deck in the first two with Compulsion. Next game.

Game 3: My creature assault is once again stopped by Teroh's Faithful... Though to my fiendish pleasure, my opponent is stuck at five land. I end up killing the Teroh's Faithful and, in response to my attack for nine (he's at twelve), he taps all five lands to cast something. I begin to cringe at the possibilities until my wildest dreams are confirmed and I hear,"Flash of Insight for three?"

I say okay, he takes his nine, and I Volcanic Hammer for the remaining three. Yay.

Games: 9-5 Matches: 4-1

Round 6: ?? (I'm good with names) playing Tog
Game 1: I play a Wooded Foothills and I hear a grumbled obscenity from across the table."Must be a good matchup for him," I think gleefully to myself. I get the mad creature assault with double-Grim Lavamancer, a Phantom Centaur, a Wild Mongrel, and burn for the win. I'm just that good.

Game 2: By turn 5, I have him in a bad position, so he is forced to Persuasion a Wild Mongrel. He has no cards in hand, a Psychatog and a Wild Mongrel on the board, one card in graveyard (I've been shooting the Psychatog all game), and is at four. I can't draw a Violent Eruption until many turns later when he has a plentiful amount of cards in hand and a Compulsion on the board. I wait for him to tap out to Compulsion, but it doesn't happen, and neither does me winning the game.

Game 3: I had another mad creature assault and he once again rains on my parade by casting Persuasion, though this time it was targeting a Phantom Centaur (a little better than Wild Mongrel, I think). A few turns later, I have no cards in my hand, nothing on the board, and he still has my Phantom Centaur and a Psychatog in play. He checks his hand and graveyard at least 3,046 times, and after checking it before his attack phase a few more times, he announces,"Attack for six," and taps his creatures. I take my six on Matt's oh-so-lovely Duelist life counter. After that, my opponent says,"Oh... wait... I'll discard to Psychatog..." My response was nice and spurnful:"Uh, no you won't. Your attack phase is over." Next turn I topdeck a Firebolt and flash it back.

Games: 11-6 Matches: 5-1

Round 7: Tim playing B/G (not the stupid Verdant Succession deck)
Game 1: He immediately casts Living Wish for a Braids, Cabal Minion on turn 2 and plays it turn 3 (he had a Birds of Paradise in play). I sacrifice a permanent, pass my turn, wait for him to sac his - and then ping his Braids, Cabal Minion in the face with my Grim Lavamancer. He doesn't see another land the entire game.

Game 2: Around turn 4, he has a Nantuko Husk in play and sacrifices a Wirewood Herald, fetches a Caller of the Claw, and casts it, only netting himself one token - which bedazzles the author because he had two Birds of Paradise in play that weren't doing much else except for being 0/1 walls. The token is killed that turn, as is the Nantuko Husk a turn later after he Faceless Butchers a Call of the Herd token. The game is looking good, and I only need another turn until I can burn my way for an attack for the win - until he casts both Ravenous Baloth and Oversold Cemetery, which will be active next turn. I take my turn, hope for a Naturalize that I didn't side in, and scoop.

Game 3: He starts out less aggressively, though around turn 6 or 7 he has an active Oversold Cemetery again with that same Ravenous Baloth card. This time, however, I mize out of my rear end and peel the Violent Eruption off the top to clear the way for a Phantom Centaur and Elephant Guided Call of the Herd token (heh - the elephant token has an Elephant Guide!).

Games: 13-7 Matches: 6-1

Round 8: Draw
The reason I drew round eight was because not only did I think I was sitting pretty good with nineteen points and my current tie breakers, but the guy was playing Wake, and my friends and I had just talked last round about how I should try and draw with Wake. A few things went wrong with my not-so-ingenious plan:

• In the pivotal matchup of the night, the 18 vs. the 19, the 18 upset the 19, and so both got in ahead of me (the 19 was in second place after round seven).
• My tiebreakers weren't nearly as good as I thought.
• R/G has a good chance of beating Wake.

As a result, I ended up not making the top 8.

And now, in retrospect, I wish I had played the last round. I mean, this is Regionals we're talking about! Eighth place guarantees an invitation to Nationals, the next most prestigious event. I am with the big rollers now! I've just got to learn to be a big roller myself.

And out of all of this, the only advice I can give for future participants of Regionals or any such enormous event is to always have a motivator. Winning can be a motivator, yes... But that's not always going to do it. Take me, for example: remember that quote at the beginning of the report? Now that was my motivator for the future to succeed. Just the vision of my friend Jeremiah and I walking through the doors at Nationals, when everyone is expecting someone good (or at least halfway decent) to walk through those same doors, only to find us? Priceless.

Oh, and remember that Duelist life counter Matt leant me? It was the most fun I've ever had keeping life (and I must say, that's a lot of fun). That was my present motivator... Even if I lost, I still got to go into the next round sliding little beads back and forth.

Long Live Entropy,
Elias Francia