[Editor's Note: Frequently we will get submissions that try to tell us how good a"bad deck" is. Sometimes they are right, and sometimes they are completely off-base. With that in mind, we've started a new article tag called"Food For Thought." These articles will still be published as strategy, but when you read them you should recognize that they are testing wild, rogue ideas that work according to the author, or the decks that are discussed provide interesting builds that may not be rigorously tested, but perhaps exhibit a decent foundation for future decks.

Doing this allows us to continue publishing crazy decks like the one below while acknowledging that they may not be ready for primetime. After all, you never know when the next Trix deck will be discovered, or when Dream's Grip and Twiddle will become the catalysts for the latest rendition of Mind's Desire decks.]

This story is about the realization that, for all it's worth, I'd rather have fun than win. Now I can hear what you're thinking"scrub,""casual player,""noob," and maybe a few things I shouldn't commit to writing. To the contrary, I have always considered myself a competitive player, and regardless of the endeavor, I always have played to win. However, as I began to tweak this particular deck design I found myself actually enjoying games, even when the deck failed to go off. In fact, I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard as when I activated the Belcher, needing to do one point of damage for the win, and flipped a Mountain.

It all began with a forum post about a deck that could beat everything. Always up for a good chuckle, I read the post and several not-so-nice replies. The deck itself was, in my opinion, poorly constructed, but the idea intrigued me. I had seen versions of this deck type previously under the names 12-Land and 10-Land Belcher but this, of course, was the 8-land version.

I built the deck with some initial revisions and decided on twelve lands as my starting point. I just could not envision an eight-land deck being consistent enough to withstand eight rounds of swiss. Although my initial deck design had some glaring weaknesses, I found myself thoroughly enjoying each game. Sitting on the edge of my seat with every Belcher activation, each flip of a card making my heart skip a beat, and sweating out the multiple mulligans was just fun, fun, fun. The more I played though, the more I came to realize less land was the key to greater consistency.

There are actually two issues with the mana. The first issue is that you don't want to see land when you activate the Belcher, and the second is that you really need to see enough of it to cast and activate the Belcher quickly. Two mana is your breaking point where most of the deck's mana production is created, and many of the support spells can be played. This requires that you play at least twelve zero-cost mana sources to reliably (reliably is, after all, a relative term) get to two mana. However the Belcher activation issue leaves you looking for ways to reduce the number of Mountains to the smallest amount possible.

BelcherBridge.dec
4 Welding Jar
4 Chrome Mox
4 Spark Spray
4 Skirk Prospector
2 Chromatic Sphere
3 Talisman of Impulse
3 Talisman of Indulgence
4 Chartooth Cougar
4 Pyrite Spellbomb
4 Isochron Scepter
4 Shrapnel Blast
4 Terror
4 Ensnaring Bridge
4 Goblin Charbelcher
8 Mountain

Sideboard
4 Naturalize
4 Defense Grid
4 Pyroclasm
3 Slice and Dice

What gives this deck the ability to play just eight Mountains is Chrome Mox. The Mox actually has several intertwining uses in this deck. The first and foremost, of course, is mana production. Essentially you are playing twelve lands with an eight-land deck (this does not apply to all decks, and the attempt to replace land in other deck types in this manner may make them unstable and possibly dangerous to the user... you have been warned). The second is it's hand size reduction, which has good synergy with the Ensnaring Bridge, and third use is that it's cheap Shrapnel Blast Fuel.

The one-mana spells also contribute to the stability of the deck. Spark Spray can cycle you into your second mana source or a key card, as can the Pyrite Spellbomb and the Chromatic Sphere. The Sphere also filters mana, making it easier to cast Terror (or Naturalize from the sideboard) and the Skirk Prospector"is" a second mana source and an alternate win condition (ok, a very weak one, but a win condition nonetheless). Top it off with the fact that both the Spray and the Prospector can be imprinted on the Chrome Mox and you begin to understand how an eight-land deck can actually work.

For mana production at two-mana you have Chartooth Cougar (cycling), Talisman of Impulse, and Talisman Indulgence. All you need to get started is a Mountain or a Mox (with imprint of course), and either another Mountain, Mox (again with imprint), or a Skirk Prospector (which will delay you one turn), and any of the two-mana producers. I'm not a math major, but that seems like fairly good odds (about 75% in a seven-card hand), especially considering you have a couple of chances to mulligan or possibly cycle into it. Sometimes, if I'm feeling lucky and I'm drawing, I'll play a hand full of two-mana producers that has a single free mana source and a couple of cyclers like Spark Spray or Spellbomb.

With the mana issues somewhat resolved, I looked at the kill mechanism. Goblin Charbelcher, obviously, is the number one victory condition, but if it's your only win condition, the entire deck can be shut down rather easily. So I added Shrapnel Blast and Isochron Scepter to the mix for what is essentially a four-turn clock. The Blast is also a creature control card that is very good all on its own, and can sometimes be the finishing touch to a Belcher activation that doesn't quite go all the way. The Scepter actually opened up a whole new avenue of exploitation that turned a one-trick pony into an entire circus performance (more on this later). Lastly, both the Prospector and the Cougar serve as alternate win conditions, although in over one hundred games, I have never hard-cast the Cougar (although the Prospector has gotten in a few points of damage here and there).

This brings us to the support spells. The basic premise of the deck is:

1) Stay alive long enough to play and use your win condition

2) Find your win condition and get it into play

3) Keep your win condition in play long enough to use it effectively (i.e. win). But isn't that the basic plan of every deck?

There are several cards that help keep you alive long enough to find and activate the Belcher. The aforementioned Spark Spray can stop a */1 dork and Pyrite Spellbomb can deal with that annoying */2. Ensnaring Bridge keeps monsters from beating you down early, and can keep the little dorks at bay once you've dropped your hand. The fact they work well together makes for a creature defense that some decks cannot beat first game. In addition, the Spark Spray cycles, the Pyrite Spellbomb can pseudo-cycle and, like the Bridge, counts as Blast fuel, making these cards very synergistic with the entire deck concept.

As main deck artifact destruction has become the norm (think Creeping Mold and Akroma's Vengeance) it seemed essential that BelcherBridge.dec needed some main deck way to protect its key artifacts. I found that the Welding Jar not only is an effective counter to artifact destruction, but it adds to the Blast fuel count and makes it easier to drop your hand for the Bridge. Yet again, another card that has multiple synergies within the deck's overall strategy.

This brings me back to the Isochron Scepter. Yes, the magic stick, and it"is" a magic stick. Imprint Shrapnel Blast, and you can trade any of your multiple artifacts for their creatures or put your opponent on a four-turn clock. Imprint Terror and no non-Black, non-artifact, targetable creature is safe. Imprint Spark Spray and sit behind your Bridge grinning evilly while they squirm under a twenty-turn clock and no */1 dork dare show its face (okay, I'll admit that's not quite as impressive).

Terror, maindeck? Yes and it works. In fact, I was running Shatter, and then Naturalize, in this slot as the metagame in my corner of the world was heavily tilted towards Affinity-based decks. However, there has been a shift back to U/W Control and Goblin-Bidding, which makes Terror a better choice for now. The Terror can be cast via the Talisman of Indulgence or by imprinting it on a Scepter, and, in a pinch, it can be imprinted on the Chrome Mox, allowing you to cast any of the other Terrors you may draw. The most important reason for running Terror in the maindeck though is Molder Slug, as this creature just wrecks BelcherBridge.dec.

Synergy, synergy, synergy... just makes goose bumps go up and down my spine.

The sideboard comes with the same synergistic feeling. Naturalize comes in against any artifact- or enchantment-based strategy or to deal with specific sideboard cards like Ivory Mask that can shut BelcherBridge.dec down. Defense Grid helps get those Belchers into play under counters and is itself Blast fuel. Pyroclasm keeps those weenies that can run under the Bridge early from, well, overrunning you. The Clasm, Grid and Nat's all cost two mana, which puts them right in BelcherBridge.dec's low cost curve.

In this corner...

Vs. Goblins (Tribal, Bidding, and Sligh)
You probably won't be cycling Spark Spray for this match up. You also have Pyrite Spellbomb for the Warchief and BelcherBridge.dec can drop its hand pretty fast, making the Bridge strong game 1. If the Goblin player can get in enough damage early, Sharpshooter can finish you off, so don't get too comfortable behind the Bridge. As always, the super-fast Goblin start can be too much to handle, and if they play a Bidding with the Sharpshooter-Warchief-Sledder-Prospector-Siege-Gang Commander combo in the yard, just offer them your hand graciously. You can win this match up though, as they have no maindeck way of dealing with the Bridge, Scepter or the Belcher. After boarding, they will have Shatter, but you have Welding Jar and a redundancy of artifacts they need to remove. Sideboard in the Pyroclasms to stop the early beatdown and drop 1 Bridge, 1 Blast, 1 Scepter, and 1 Terror.

Vs. Affinity (aggro and control)
For BelcherBridge.dec the control version of Affinity is the tougher of the two matchups but, fortunately for you, the weaker of the two decks. Aggro is quick, but they have a hard time dealing with the Bridge. Counters, on the other hand, force you to play carefully, as you have a limited number of victory conditions. After boarding, Defense Grids come in, which not only slow down the counters. but the end of turn card drawing as well, and the Naturalize, which if put on a stick, is an Affinity hoser. Side out 4 Terrors and 4 Welding Jars unless you think they might side in Shatter (or this is the third game and you know they sided in Shatter), then side out 1 Bridge, 1 B/R Talisman, 1 Blast, and 1 Sphere instead of the Jars.

Unfortunately, if Aggro Affinity is a rough matchup, Ravager Affinity becomes a downright pain in the butt that will necessitate maindeck changes before you can really compete. They are slightly too fast for the Bridge plan to work well, especially when they can attack with a zero-power Ornithopter and turn it into a 10/10 before damage is assigned.

Vs. U/W Control
By far your hardest matchup, the U/W deck has all the tools to beat BelcherBridge.dec. They can counter all of your victory conditions, and if one slips by, they can blow it away with a Vengeance (bad pun alert). Your key to winning is timing and patience with a little luck thrown in. Welding Jar makes Vengeance not so painful, and a quick Scepter-Blast makes every artifact you play a threat. The other card in U/W that gives BelcherBridge.dec a lot of problems is Decree of Justice. Since you want to hold a few cards for post-Vengeance back up, the eot Soldier Tokens can get under the Bridge. After sideboarding, bring in the Defense Grids, which can give you a little breathing room to push through the Belcher, and Slice and Dice to deal with cycled DoJ's. Side out 1 Bridge, 1 Blast, 1 Scepter, 1 Terror, 1 Spray, 1 Spellbomb, and 1 Sphere.

Vs. G/R LD
This matchup is not as hard as one would think when playing an eight-land deck. As you rely on a lot of alternate artifact mana sources, it gives you an advantage, because their maindeck artifact removal comes in at four mana (Creeping Mold) and five mana (Molder Slug). However, the Molder Slug can hit on the third turn (with Birds of Paradise and Vine Trellis acceleration), and completely wreck you if you don't have the Terror in hand. The maindeck Welding Jars can counter the artifact removal (this does not apply, of course, to the Slug), or you can just sac the targeted artifact to a Shrapnel Blast. No sideboard is required for this one (just shuffle in fifteen and then play your Jedi mind tricks as you take them out one by one).

Vs. the Pseudo-Mirror
As I haven't played against anyone crazy enough to actually build a deck like mine, I only have experience with matchups against other decks that feature the Belcher as their main victory condition. The major advantage this deck has over its brethren, is that against ten- and twelve-land versions, or those that splash a non-Mountain land, your Belcher activations are more reliable. After boarding, you bring in the 4 Naturalize for the Terrors.

Darksteel...
The two cards that might give this deck a problem are Oxidize and Shunt, one of which will definitely see some play and one that probably will not. Oxidize counters the Welding Jar regeneration ability and Shunt can turn a winning Belcher activation into a big L. However, it remains to be seen how much these cards will see play.

I did not see any cards in the new set that might improve the deck.

As a final note, this is your opening hand for a third-turn kill:

1 Mountain
1 Talisman (either) or 1 Mountain
2 Chrome Mox
2 (any colored card)
1 Goblin Charbelcher

This is assuming, obviously, no disruption and a twenty+ point Belcher activation. Of course, you wouldn't need all of these cards in your opening hand as you could draw into either the second Mountain, second Mox, second colored card, or a Belcher on the second turn (and you would get two draws to do this if going second).

Is this a tournament worthy deck? I'll leave that for you to decide. I just know I'm having a blast playing it, and win or lose, I get to enjoy every game.

J. Dice
Zwardi@yahoo.com
Orlando, Florida USA
I'm BetterThanU on MWS... let's play.