{As Ted told you last week, I am plumb out of ideas. And, while the forum responses to my blog experiment seemed favorable, I didn't feel it was very good writing on my part. I felt that you guys deserved better. So, while I sort through what I'm sure will be hundreds (if not thousands) of ideas for my next few columns, I'm letting Bobby Horowitz write one of them for me. He's done this before and always gets great feedback. I need to watch some television and get my mind off of Magic. - Thanks for understanding, Chris}

Hi! My name's Bobby! Chris and my brother Billy are really, really good friends - and sometimes, Chris lets me write about a deck for him 'cause he's got other stuff to do. Like right now, him and my brother are watching some cooking channel. It's called The Spice Network or something like that. There are a lot of women with bananas and cucumbers and carrots and other icky stuff. I like bananas, but I hate cucumbers and carrots. Yuck.

So, anyway, okay, while they're watching TV, Chris lets me play on Magic Online which is really cool because it's like playing with real cards, but you don't have to get your Mom to drive you to the mall and embarrass you. Like when she walks in in the middle of a round and says,"Are you still playing cards? When is this going to be over? I have an appointment to get a massage from Diego in an hour!" With Magic Online, I don't have to worry about Mom dropping by. She'll be over at Diego's for the rest of the day getting a massage. And Billy and Chris usually watch a lot of those cooking shows. So, I can play for a really, really long, long time which is cool.

I really, really like White 'cause it has a lot of cool characters like Serra Angel who's really pretty and flies and stuff. White's really tricky, too, 'cause you can tap stuff so that it can't attack or make it so it can't attack or block ever. White also has that really neat Wrath of God that blows up all of the characters, but Chris doesn't have any of those 'cause he says they're too expensive. My favorite thing about White, though, is all of those flying guys. That's really cool 'cause most other deckmasters don't use flying stuff.

Plus, White has Wall of Hope, which is really cool because you can gain life with it when it blocks. Of course, Walls can't attack, but I guess that's okay 'cause it's so cool.

So, um, anyway, I looked through Chris' cards, and I built this Standard deck 'cause all I really ever play is Standard, and I called it:

Bobby's Super-Duper White Deck
22 Lands
2 Secluded Steppe
2 Daru Encampment
18 Plains

26 Creatures
4 Wall of Hope
4 Suntail Hawk
4 Master Decoy
1 Leonin Skyhunter (that's all he had!)
1 Whipcorder (he only had one of those, too!)
4 Diving Griffin
4 Gustcloak Harrier
4 Skyhunter Patrol

12 Other Spells
4 Pacifism
4 Arrest
4 Bonesplitter

I got online and this guy with an Affinity deck started a game with me. It seemed like the same deck that my brother always beats Chris with. There was that Frog guy and the Disciple creature and the Arcbound Ravager that lets him get rid of all his stuff. I couldn't beat him. His stuff was so much bigger than mine. Wall of Hope seemed to do okay. He wouldn't attack unless he could kill it, but a lot of his stuff killed it. Anyway, he said that I should put in that cat guy, the Leonin Elder, 'cause it would gain me more life than the Wall, and plus it could attack, too. I guess he was right. If a creature's gonna gain you life and die when it blocks, maybe it should also be able to attack? And Leonin Elder can sometimes block guys and kill 'em! You know, if they're small enough and all, or if he has like a Bonesplitter. Wall of Hope can't do that unless I have it wear the Bonesplitter but I hardly ever do that 'cause it seems like a waste.

So, then, I took out the Wall of Hope and put in the Leonin Elder and went back into the room to see if anyone wanted to play. The next guy must have thought that I was Chris 'cause he said"I love your stuff!" Which is really cool for Chris, I guess. Anyway, he was playing a weird Green and Red deck that had burn spells and big creatures.

I almost beat this guy 'cause he didn't have anything to block the fliers. Diving Griffin was really good in here because he could attack for a bunch of damage when the Bonesplitter was on and then still block. He usually died when he blocked, though, 'cause his guys were so big. I stopped a few of his monsters with Pacifism and Arrest and the tapping down guys, but he just drew more. He was really nice, too, and suggested that I add card drawing to the deck. The problem was that the deck is White, and White s^x at card drawing.

So, I went to ask Chris and Billy what I could do for, you know, drawing cards with White. When I walked in, the cooking show was getting silly. The two ladies must have gotten into some big argument about what ingredients to use 'cause they were rolling around on the floor and there were bananas and cucumbers and carrots everywhere. They were even trying to stab each other with 'em! Chris and Bill yelled at me to leave, but I said that I needed card drawing for the White deck. They said to use Mask of Memory 'cause it's really good on fliers. Then, they kicked me out and closed the door and locked it. I guess they really, really like cooking shows, and they didn't want to be disturbed. Which is cool 'cause I also knew that I could play Magic Online without them bothering me, either!

I found Mask of Memory, but I didn't know what to take out. I finally decided on taking out the Pacifisms, since they cost the same amount, and I didn't want to take out creatures 'cause you need creatures to wear the Mask of Memory! So, now, my deck looked like this:

22 Lands
2 Secluded Steppe
2 Daru Encampment
18 Plains

26 Creatures
4 Leonin Elder
4 Suntail Hawk
4 Master Decoy
1 Leonin Skyhunter
1 Whipcorder
4 Diving Griffin
4 Gustcloak Harrier
4 Skyhunter Patrol

12 Other Spells
4 Mask of Memory
4 Arrest
4 Bonesplitter

The next few games were really, really cool. I won like five in a row before I lost anymore. Boy, oh, boy, that Mask of Memory is really, really good on a flier. I was just flying over and getting extra cards so that even when they did kill all of my guys with Starstorm or Wrath of God, I just had more in my hand.

But the coolest game was when I beat a guy with nothing but the Leonin Elder. I didn't get any fliers out in that game. But I did get out a couple of the Master Decoy guys and three of my Arrests along with a Bonesplitter. It was so funny 'cause he'd put out a big guy, and I'd Arrest it and then attack for three with the Leonin Elder. Then, he'd get another guy, but I'd be able to tap it with the Master Decoy. I did all twenty damage with just the Leonin Elder! He didn't even say"Good game" or"cool" or anything. He just left.

Some of the games I didn't think I'd have any chance to win but then the deck just kept giving me birds and griffins and stuff 'cause of the Mask of Memory, and I was able to just keep flying over. A lot of my guys died blocking, though, but that's okay 'cause that let the other guys attack.

Anyway, the first game I lost after putting in the Mask of Memory was just really, really stupid. He was playing Red, which, duh, how could I know before we started playing, right? And I was st00pid and kept a hand with only one land in it. Billy and Chris are always telling me not to keep one-land hands, but I had the Suntail Hawk and a Leonin Elder and a Bonesplitter. So, I figured I'd gain a ton of life from the Elder, but the other guy didn't play any artifacts, so, I couldn't. I did finally get another land, but I was so low that he just threw Fireball at me. Which is okay 'cause I like Fireball. It's a cool way to lose.

The next game I played was really, really tough, and I thought I was going to lose. He was playing Blue and Black. I got a Suntail Hawk and then a Bonesplitter and then a Leonin Elder. But he got out a Trinket Mage and went and got an Engineered Explosives. Then, I got Mask of Memory and put it on the bird along with the Bonesplitter. When he played his Explosives, I figured he'd set it at two so that he could kill the Mask, but he didn't! He set it at one. Which was really bad because he killed my Suntail Hawk and Bonesplitter and Leonin Elder. Or anyway he thought it was bad! 'Cause I had drawn a card from the Mask, and I had extra stuff in my hand. So, after the Explosives went off, I played a Gustcloak Harrier and put the Bonesplitter and the Mask of Memory on it. That hit a couple of times. He must not have had any way to deal with flying guys 'cause he conceded.

Chris says that I should tell you about a typical game. Whadya mean? Oh. Okay. He says I'm supposed to tell you how things usually go when the deck works. And it's been working well a whole lot, too!

Okay, usually, I get out a Suntail Hawk or a Leonin Elder on the first turn. It's really cool if I can get a Mask of Memory on the next turn 'cause I gain life from the Elder, and then I can put the Mask on the Hawk and draw extra cards. So, what happens is that the flying guys fly over and deal all of the damage. Sometimes, I hafta leave some of them back to block, but that's okay 'cause I get more. The tapper guys really save the day when some big monster comes out, especially those new Bringer dudes. I mean, what's up with those? They're really, really big and have these really, really cool abilities, and everyone seems to have some except Chris.

One other thing, too. Arrest is really, really good, especially if there's a creature like Visara or something out. Just make sure if it's Visara to put it on her when she's tapped, or the other guy will just tap her in response to you playing Arrest and have it kill itself. Then he can put another Visara out. But with Arrest, he can't put another one out 'cause it's a Legend, and you can't do that. Wait a sec. Chris says that you play another Visara, but the second one dies right away.

Oh, well, I guess that means that cooking show is over. I have to go now. Bye!

Bobby Horowitz
BHorowitz@MrsLongbowsThirdGradeClass.com