CRAP! I haven't built a deck for Friday Night Magic yet.

This revelation comes to me as most do; way too late for my liking. It's Thursday mid-afternoon when I open the ICQ message from my wife, Amy, reminding me about our blatant disregard for the rapidly approaching tournament.

The theme this week is Highlander.

Disagreeable sensations of frustration and annoyance usually surface when I build decks for Highlander, often manifesting as fits of guttural noises while I'm throwing deck boxes around the room. I'm not really sure how or why Highlander brings out this side of me. I have theories, though. Maybe aliens. Unmarked helicopters. Perhaps it's that I have no grasp on how restricting every single card except basic lands affects the way Magic is played. Ignorance of an environment I am to build a deck for is frustrating. Really freaking frustrating!

So I'm at work on Thursday afternoon and I'm about to take a big, beautifully executed swan dive into Lake Frustration. Things could get ugly. Luckily for me (and possibly my co-workers), another ICQ message arrives from Amy in the nick of time. It reads:

http://www.starcityccg.com/news/Magic/Alongi/000804alongi.html

Following this link takes me to Anthony Alongi's article discussing Highlander, and gives me some of the information I need to prevent my slip into deckbuilding psychosis - even despite his heretical statement that the first movie isn't impressive.

Anthony, shame on you! (No, he's right -- The Ferrett)

Heterodoxy aside, he writes about excellent strategies for use with Highlander. It's a great introduction if you haven't played this format before, and has plenty of ideas with which to get those creative juices flowing.

So I read the article. Calm down some. No inanimate objects have been hurled. I can now think semi-rationally about my game plan.

With only one of any card in my deck, there's next to nada chance of getting out any particular card when I want or need it (Flashback to the time I first built my own deck. I'm sure it had 120+ cards.) That fact alone pretty much banishes combos to the sidelines. My individual card selections will need to be highly independent of each other, which is generally a good principle to incorporate, at least to some degree, in most deck designs. It's also a principle I often ignore.

Its seems logical to me that creature-heavy decks (weenie, rebel, stompy, etc), and heavy burn decks are the most likely builds for this format. I figure regeneration will be handy in the slugfests and concentrate on creatures with this ability, plus some burn to back them up (I always want the best of both worlds). I decide to build an R/G "thing" to take advantage of the profusion of regenerating creatures in green. In red I find a stunning quartet of phoenixes (phoeni?), that come back into play in one form or another after my dastardly opponents have had their way with them. Add a dash of buyback cards and I think I'm onto a winner. Completely disregarding mana curves (which are overrated, anyway), I give birth to:

Pile-o-Turds

Bolsheviks:

Bogardan Phoenix, Eron the Relentless, Fanning the Flames, Fiery Mantle, Firestorm Phoenix, Hammer of Bogardan, Shard Phoenix, Shivan Phoenix, Squee - Goblin Nabob (pronounced with a thick Indian accent, if you wouldn't mind), Uthden Troll, and Viashino Sandstalker.

Uncured Meat:

Ancient Silverback, Albino Troll, Carnassid, Child of Gaea, Defense of the Heart, Elven Cache, Gorilla Chieftain, Krakilin, Overrun, Natural Affinity, Pygmy Troll, Rancor, Reclaim, River Boa, Skyshroud Troll, Spike Hatcher, Weatherseed Treefolk, and Worldly Tutor.

Tracts of Wide Open Spaces:

Taiga. I bung in a bunch of Forests and Mountains to make up the rest.

Amy and I test a teensy weensy bit and call it good until tomorrow. I go to bed and dream of Scottish accents, flashing blades, and heads being severed from their necks.

Match 1: Alex "Tweak1"
Alex can be annoying: He's a young kid with way too much energy. Poor sod probably doesn't know what to do with it all. If he concentrates, though, he can be a challenge. After the game, I realize that this note-taking business is harder than it seems and decide in the future that I should at least note the game highlights. Things don't go well for Alex, however. His life declines rapidly: 20, 17, 9, 0. Mine remains as solid as a rock at 20. Obviously, he wasn't concentrating. Go Turds!

Match 2: Casey
Casey is one of several newcomers to the game, and it's great to see the new faces. He's a nice kid and fun to play with. He quickly piles up a Wall of Junk. In response, as a fast effect, I groan and wonder why Wall of Junk wasn't considered for my arsenal of creatures with sneaky ways to avoid the Angel of Death. I swarm over the pile, and succeed in inflicting bodily harm with my Bogardan Phoenix, Ancient Silverback, and Weatherseed Treefolk.

It's at this point that I play a side game against Lance while waiting for my next opponent. Lance has recently sobered up and abandoned his Drunk Driver deck (which I pioneered), and put together a surprise for tomorrow's T1 tournament. I go into this game not expecting much from my bunch of solo artists.

Side Game: Lance
Almost immediately I'm staring at the tonsils of an endlessly screaming Dauthi Horror with strength that is downright unholy. Alas, the power of Dark Ritual. I'm wondering where, oh where are all of my tracts of wide-open spaces while he's beating the snot out of me. I remind Lance that I'll have to go as soon as someone from the tournament becomes available and look around hopelessly. I take another beating and meekly put down my Skyshroud Troll, which he Dark Banishes. That's okay; I really should have been scooping instead of playing that Troll anyway.

Match 3: Jeff "the Tyrant"
Jeff is a young fellah that usually plays fast burn, and with evil ferocity. I'm wary that he's carried this concept over into Highlander. He mulligans with seven land; like that's ever supposed to happen. A few turns go by and I realize his second draw only had one land and he can't seem to find any more. I eye my useless Defense of the Heart and resolve to do this the hard way. By the time I have my Skyshroud Troll, Shard Phoenix, and Firestorm Phoenix in play, I have enough mana laying about to administer the coup de grace and Overrun for lots. I kind of feel guilty that Jeff got mana screwed, even though he is a tyrant.

Match 4: Bryse
Another newcomer, and another nice kid. Great to see all this new young blood! He has an interesting deck as well. He curses a totem and puts it out front and center. Great! Fantastic! Now 75% of my Turds are overpriced grizzly bears (the other 25% are lands). We quickly get into a creature stall; him with a Kjeldoran Royal Guard, and me with Persistent Eron. Finally my Viashino decides to show his ugly saurian face, and I figure I can crack this battle right open. I send both over to beat up the Guard and hopefully sneak some damage in. Wrong! In response to nominating my attackers, Bryse Disenchants his Cursed Totem, blocks Mr. Persistent with his Guard, and then redirects the damage from lizard-face to the Guard also. What the-! How likely is it that he has a Disenchant in hand? Bryse is now defenseless, though, so Pygmy Troll and lizard-face go on to bring home the bacon.

Match 5: Tim
Tim's smart, quiet and fun to play with. I spit out a quick Pygmy Troll. He has some spittle of his own: Spitting Earth. Sniff. I'll miss you, little fella. Again I spiral down into a creature stall until he uses Latulla on me for eleven! Dammit! Why didn't I see that coming?

Match 6: Stephen "Tweak2"
As annoying as Tweak1, also largely due to an ungodly excess of energy. I think a permanent Invigorate is in affect on both of them. Like Tweak1, Stephen can be a challenge if he concentrates. I plow through his Academy Rector and wonder what he could possibly have that will bother my hordes. Story Circle: Green, if you wouldn't mind. Great! Fantastic! Now 50% of my Turds are overpriced walls! I get my Defense of the Heart into play and hope to go shopping for some Bolsheviks shortly. He Disenchants it. I'm chagrined: If I put something like a Disenchant into my Highlander deck, I'd never see the darn thing! Bad quickly becomes worse when he gets religious on me and Worships. I'm thinking about Fanning those Flames until he discovers a Hidden Retreat. Where the hell did all of this synergy come from? I'm obviously a little flustered, because I blow my Shard Phoenix before I get the revelation (as usual, way too late for my liking), that the only thing it actually achieves is the total annihilation of every creature I have on the ground. Scoop. Obviously, he was concentrating.

Match 7: Kurt
Kurt is Tim's father and gladly transports all of the above-mentioned new faces every week to the tournaments, for which he is most cool! He opens up by Wanderlusting my Albino Troll. When it's time to pay the Troll's echo, I decide that he's a liability to the team and have to let him go. Kurt then hires a Fyndhorn Druid to do his dirty work and gives the poor guy a Predatory Hunger. I wonder what on earth could give a Druid a Predatory Hunger other than magic mushrooms, and we chuckle a bit. He has some other miscellaneous creature in play, so I decide to supplement my Lowland Basilisk and Firestorm Phoenix with my Defense of the Heart. He's going to show me and drops a Rhox onto the table. Not bad! I sac the Heart and go to town, bringing back with me a Shivan Phoenix and Child of Gaea. He scoops as a crushing victory is not far away. Later, Kurt and I discuss this play and he's pretty down about it being a crappy tactical error on his part. I hate to agree. Thankfully, he already knows what he should have done: Attack with his other nameless beastie that he had in play (which I would have hopefully blocked, and killed, with my Basilisk), before he cast the Rhox, thereby keeping his creature tally under three and not allowing me to use my Defense. He's pretty hard on himself about this silly mistake. Evidently he didn't see my Shard Phoenix fiasco earlier!

Match 8: Tim again
A grudge match! The Turds want - no, NEED - revenge! I get out ol' lizard face and super size it with a Rancor each turn until I see the checkered flag. I feel much better about the Latulla thing now.

Another Side Game: Lance
I'm stuck in a recurring nightmare. This time I'm staring dumbly at some shadowy denizen that's been Feasting on a Unicorn and has not one but two Unholy Strengths. Dang, Lance, Amy is waiting for a tournament game and I really have to go...

Match 9: Amy
I played Amy once, the night before in testing, and the Turds pulled out all stops, so I'm way too confident. Five lands make it to my side of the table before I get anything I can play: A beautiful Bogardan Phoenix. Amy is apparently jealous of my affection for the Phoenix and promptly Dark Banishes it, telling it to stand in the corner. I remind her it's a Phoenix and bring it back from the corner, putting it nicely back into play - albeit with a death counter. Amy has a healthy chain of Rebels amassing on her side, powered by Lin Sivvi. I try to Hammer her Knight of Dawn, which she gives "protection from stupidity" and the Hammer fizzles. I pray for a swift death and get it.

Did I use regeneration during the entire evening? Nope. Primarily I was tapping myself out to get as many pairs of feet onto the battlefield as quickly as possible. Basically, then, I was paying way too much CC for what I got. Which leads me to believe that cheap and efficient creatures would have been a more intelligent choice to make for Highlander, even though Pile-o-Turds did pretty well.

Oh. I should have included a Disenchant as well. Just for grins.

Scott English