Hi. My name is not john and I have a drinking problem, but that's beside the point. If you are reading this, then there is probably some little kami in your head that tells you that with all those articles and pros saying, "now that Affinity is gone and the hate went with it, let's put this incredibly broken (yet too slow for third turn kills) artifact maindeck!" Taking your Oxidizes and Shatters and moving them to the sideboard is not your best option right now. It's obvious that with a metallic world making up about 50% of the Standard cardpool (and even more if we were to consider that Mirrodin block cards are clearly more powerful than Kamigawa ones), then Viridian Shaman is still a 187 right now, and if you don't have at least four cards in you sideboard that say "destroy or otherwise cripple target artifact" don't be so disappointed about the 0-2 drops that are coming your way.

We all know about the amount of good artifacts available and how everyone is trying to trick everyone else by still keeping some silver-bordered powerhouse in their deck, hoping that no one else but themselves are prepared for it, but what I am trying to give you here is a list of the Top 10 most wanted, ones you will definitely be rewarded for killing if you prepare for them.

Honorable Mentions- Sundering Titan (you usually don't want to kill it or are dead anyway if you do), Man Lands didn't make it because they aren't that problematic on their own, Mindslaver, Oblivion Stone, Sensei's Divining Top, Cogs and other self sacrificing goodies are all good artifacts that will surely have their share of maindeck appearances, but I chose not to put them on the list because you won't really nail them unless your opponent screws up or you use...

#10 - Damping Matrix
The one to rule them all, this is the card of choice that will appear in every non-Red or Green deck, even if only in the sideboard at first. I have been testing with it maindeck as the top cards in this list all really die to it, and I hope I can show you in the end that there isn't a single decklist in the expected post-Ravager metagame that doesn't improve with one of those included.

#9 - Staff of Domination
Okay, I know this one will not convince you at first, but I have seen this baby work miracles on the control vs. control matchup, and I believe it will become popular if the metagame slows down as some people say it will. It's Whispers of the Muse on a stick, an Icy Manipulator to deal with opposing Darksteel Colossus if you don't control eleven Islands yet, and it will even net you some life if you have nothing else better to do and fear that Boseiju-powered Death Cloud.

#8 - Platinum Angel
Since it can still be dealt with in so many ways this guy doesn't bother me that much, but it has to be on this list. If you have a deck that cannot deal with Leonin Abunas/Angel in the first game, then you're giving away a lot of first games. Even Affinity with its unmatchable speed only got to beat it first game about 50 or 60% of the times, it is not your Blind Creepers or Isamarus that are going to cut it for you. It could also be Triskelion here if this only concerned the aggro decks, but the Angel has almost the same effect on aggro (Triskelion is worse because even if you deal with it you will still be left with an empty board) and can also be troublesome to other control strategies. Plus, it still works if Matrix is your maindeck answer.

#7 - Isochron Scepter
Now things start to get juicy. The only reason His Brokenness is so far behind is because we are yet to see a deck emerge in Standard that can truly abuse it, and with no true counter in the two mana slot it is hardly likely there will be one. But still, I don't want to lose to an imprinted Magma Jet, or even Dampen Thought with a little splice action from a Glacial Ray by its side, or worse, a Nourish per turn (it sounds crazy but it happened to me once, and I vowed never to underestimate any opponent even if he was playing life gaining cards).

#6 - Blasting Station
And here is a threat everyone is expecting. Giving mono-Green decks something to aim at your head is not fair, especially if they can kill you with it faster than you can say Wrath of ... Damn It I'm dead again!

By the way, if you read a lot of online articles and MTGO message boards you will notice how Blasting Station/Beacon of Creation decks are popular, and how good they can be with the Green tools available to them (the best artifact hate, Plow Under against control decks, etc.)

#5 - Chrome Mox
If it has Mox in its name, then you know it is going to be restricted in Vintage. It's good in aggressive decks, it's a must in dedicated combo decks, and it can even appear in control decks that need to do something early if they want to stay in the game. I've seen it in Tooth and Nail versions to power up a third turn entwine, and it worked quite often. Anyway, even if your Viridian Shaman doesn't seem to have anything better to hit, slowing the other guy down a turn is still going to come up a lot and that is good enough to keep the elf maindeck.

#4 - Aether Vial
I love this card. It grew on me and now I can't build an aggro deck that doesn't feature four of these. It was even on some people's banning list, and it just might have deserved it if combo hadn't kept Affinity and the aggro decks in check in Wxtended. So, if you want to attack against a tapped out opponent without fearing nasty things, or just want the other guy to play fair and stick to the mana system Richard Garfield (hey, you can actually highlight his name as a card now) gave us to use, you must have something to deal with it. Facing down an opponent with no cards in hand by turn 3 will bring that Affinity feeling back in the game, and I know you don't want that.

#3 - Sword of Fire and Ice
You don't have Fire / Ice to imprint on a Scepter now, but why bother if you have it all in a single card? This is yet another artifact that breaks the rules by allowing certain colors access to something they shouldn't have. Birds of Paradise are not supposed to kill me, but now they do that and they even take my guys out in the process. It's also a good way to help aggro decks not over commit, since usually a 4/4 shooter is good enough to win, or you can just over commit to end things quickly because with two cards a turn you won't run out of gas.

Maybe it should be just the Swords at number three, but it seems there is no room for the two of them, and when it comes down to choosing Fire and Ice over Light and Shadow, damage is always better than life (oh, and Black and White can deal with your creatures even if they are protected - Blue and Red have a much more difficult time of it).

#2 - Vedalken Shackles
Hum...Control Magic on a stick... This card is way too powerful. It was created when it was just supposes to allow Blue to compete in a broken metagame, but now that things are steady it is the perfect tool to put Blue back on top. No aggro deck will stand a chance if it can't deal with this maindeck, and White Weenie and Aggro Black have it particularly bad. Green has Troll Ascetic and Red gets Hearth Kami, but they can be countered. Yes, there are a lot of ways to deal with this card, but most of them involve playing artifact hate maindeck, which is just what I am trying to advocate here. Losing to your own cards sucks, so don't let it happen!

#1 - Umezawa's Jitte
Quoting a friend of mine that has just embarked on the gravy train: "They made Skullclamp to give aggro decks a chance, then there were all aggro decks abusing it, so they killed Skullclamp. Now they made this..."

I can see a pattern here. It is not that difficult to overcome in control decks, but the aggro mirror... to say it is broken is an understatement. The first guy to get two counters on the Jitte wins, no doubt about it. I first thought the Sword was better, but after testing I realized how wrong I was. The life gain is almost irrelevant (except against burn of course, but even then you still prefer to pump your critters so they don't die). It is this block's Cursed Scroll - whoever draws it more often wins. Even with the new legend rule, all you have to do is play it on the turn you can equip, and those two counters will make all the difference. Your opponent can play his own Jitte, but he probably just wasted the best card in his deck, and you still got to kill one or two guys in the process.

Against control it is still a powerful weapon. With two counters resolving, burn decks will have a problem racing or killing the equipped creature, non-burn decks will still waste a card and a turn on it, but you put it on another one and swing for 4 plus creature's power, and again, and again, until you reach 20. I'm not even considering playing a deck that doesn't have either this card or the aforementioned Shackles (I don't like Tooth and Nail), and I recommend you to get four of it before it peaks in value (in MTGO it is already worth the precon it comes in)!

That's all, folks. I hope you join me next week when I discuss what you should do to win every Magic game for the rest of your life, and what pick up lines never fail to get you a date with that gorgeous girl you've been dreaming about all your life.

Ooops, I'm not a featured writer (yet) so I guess that topic will just have to wait.

Until then be sure to burn me in the forums for forgetting all those cool artifacts that you love so much but I didn't put on the list, because I sure love the attention!

Mauro Peleira