Before you ask, yes, I did.

In Mirrodin block, I tried to make a Sligh deck that would work, and since there weren't any good Red creatures beyond Slith Firewalker and Arc-Slogger, I had to get rather creative with what to play. After a bit of goldfishing on apprentice, I found out the Cosmic Larva, Vulshok Sorcerer (no one played it at this point), and War Elemental was actually "rather good".

I decided to go to a PTQ on a whim, without having done that much testing, and then ended up being one round away from Top 8ing, and winning a lot of packs. The deck performed the way it had in solitaire, and I personally was pretty amazed (as nothing is ever ideal). Once Onslaught rotated, I played the deck on Magic Online since 4 Chrome Mox was worth more than the rest of my online collection (and the rest of the deck was worthless). Since then I've just played it online a lot, as it's the only deck I seem to win with, and it is remarkably fun.

I played well over 1000 games with the deck online, tweaked it over and over, and ended up learning a great deal about the game, as well as breaking 1800 Constructed. Since I want to keep this report concise, I will write a primer on the deck separately (if there is interest). I do think that something beyond this report is necessary to understand the deck and be able to play it as well as it should be played.

Flash forward to a week before Regionals.

I email my friend Hugh to ask about getting the cards I'm missing for the deck, and he invites me to test. Since he is a much better player than I am, I nearly always lose to him in testing, regardless of how lopsided the matchup is. This time I completely crush him on both sides of the matchups. Hugh hates my deck, but in the end concedes that it is good, although he'll never play it. Seeing that I beat Hugh with ease, I start to get the feeling most of the people at Regionals this year are not going to know how to play their decks anywhere close to the Magic Online players.

In Extended I was a huge fan of WWu (played it for 3 seasons), and almost never lost with it. Not surprisingly, Meddling Mage is one of my favorite cards in the game. Once Saviors came out, Pithing Needle was my favorite card in the set, and I immediately put 3 in the main deck. Sadly, by the time I got around to getting them, they cost around $25.00, which I was not willing to pay, so I had to rework my entire deck a few days before Regionals. Since I know the deck's structure as well as I do, this wasn't "the last minute switch" for Regionals, but the list I ended up running I never tested, I just "knew how it should perform".

Without further ado, my list was:

4 Slith Firewalker
4 Vulshok Sorcerer
4 Cosmic Larva
4 Shrapnel Blast
4 Magma Jet
4 Shock
3 Lightning Greaves
3 Zo-Zu The Punisher
3 Shatter
3 War Elemental
3 Blinkmoth Nexus
4 Chrome Mox
17 Mountain

Sideboard:
3 Fractured Loyalty
3 Culling Scales
3 Genju of the Spires
2 Volcanic Hammer
2 Flamebreak
1 Lightning Greaves
1 Shatter

Genju of the Spires and the Culling Scales were last minute swaps. The Scales were only in the board since I couldn't get Pithing Needles, and I wanted a way to kill Circle of Protection: Red. I figured out later on that they were also the nuts against Rats and Wakefield Green.

Genju of the Spires was for mono-Blue Urzatron. I did some goldfish games, and regardless of my hand, if it had a Genju of the Spires, it always won.

The only real issue I had with the decklist was that it had had a 16-card sideboard, and at the last minute I yanked out the 3rd Volcanic Hammer.

Anyone who looks at this list is going to find an infinite list of flaws with it, and why it sucks. However, having played the entire tournament, I was completely satisfied with my list, and going back there is absolutely nothing I would have changed. (Honestly, this is the first time that's ever happened to me in a Constructed tournament). So you can flame this list as much as you want, but I really don't think there was anything wrong with it, and it went undefeated.

The night before Regionals I had a few big dilemmas. Since there's a new Regionals policy this year, our normal Regionals is split from the usual Palo Alto, to San Jose and Sacramento. All the good players live around San Jose, and normally are more willing to go there for PTQs than Sacramento. Most of the tournaments I've done really well at were in Sacramento (such as a Top 8 with WWu in Extended). So, it would seem that Sac was the bet if I wanted to go to Regionals.

But, if all the bad players are going to Sacramento, and all the good players are supposed to go to San Jose, then any actual good players will just go to Sacramento, and then the "hard place" becomes the easy one. But the even better players will predict what all "good" players will do, and stay at San Jose.

So which one do you go to?

Hugh's thoughts?

"Well that's what the metagame was before Magic perverted its meaning".

(Hey, I thought it was insightful).

I'm totally stuck on what to do, so I decide to talk my psychic friend (no lies I swear!), and he tells me two things.

Me: Where should I go?
Him: Sacramento.
Me: Do you have any advice for me for tomorrow that will come up?
Him: Look down before you look up.
Me: What the hell does that mean?
Him: You'll understand once it matters.

That night I call my other friend Dan who I tested with to figure out carpooling (which we had discussed beforehand!). Dan tells me his car is full, and I have to find a way to get there myself. There's no way to avoid it, so my last night of preparation consists of getting my car in working order (can't drive for too long), figuring out the directions, and deciding what persona I want to dress as tomorrow. I run out of time for the third, so I don't have time to chose the intimidating one (black shades, wifebeater, and gold chain), and just grab my iPod and decide to try to play the stupid scrub for tomorrow. To make matters even better, I can't fall asleep and end up with a little under 3 hours of sleep.

We are not off to a good start.

Once I start driving there, I realize I misread the map, and it's about 100 miles to drive (200 both ways), and decide that God has to let me Top 8 for putting me through this. As I drive there, I make my tournament prediction: This will be easier than a Magic Online premier, but something stupid will happen to you (like deck mis-register), and you'll get screwed out of a good placing.

Once I get there, I'm surprised there isn't a flood of people; we had over 600 last year. I find Hugh, he trades me the cards I need to finish my deck for one of each Troll Ascetic and Flamebreak, and then go off to scout. I'm relieved to see that all my good matches are everywhere, and there are only a few Shackles mono-Blue players. (Shackles mono-Blue is the only played deck I don't expect to beat. It's not a bad matchup, but it's the one matchup where I don't have the complete control the others afford me, and I have to depend on luck of the draw and/or the Blue player being bad). I start to get really surprised because most of the "good players" are not there, and everyone I'm talking to is asking advice for "their first Regionals". It seems Hugh was right.

There was one problem with our building though. In the main room (for the top tables), the ceilings had mirrors behind each player at 45 degree angles. In other words both players could see the other's hand unless you held them Holdem style. At this point I'm think "Why Didn't I Bring The Shades?" (I actually like to wear tinted glasses at tournaments so you're opponents cannot read your eyes, but that's mostly something you want to do against way better players). I tell Dan about my psychic's friend's advice, he starts laughing, "That sh*t's not for real, but that's amazing". I make a mental note not to use the mirrors for the day.

Our team for the tourney is assembled.

Me: Playing Ho Sligh
Dan: Playing normal Tooth.
Hugh: Playing a bad version of my deck
Carson: Green Equip splashing for Worship, Blessed Breath, and Candles' Glow.

I run into Sean (he knows my deck, and basically said, "If you Top 8 I will kill myself"), and triumphantly announce what I'm playing. He laughs, and before long the first round starts.

Before I played in the Mirrodin block PTQ, I read an article on Brainburst.com about shuffling, by Jay Schneider (I think - couldn't find a link however). His thesis was something along the lines of, "No one can perfectly randomize a deck by shuffling it, since you have subconscious biases that change how you shuffle and so on." Because of this, I've made a really complicated shuffling system that involves rolling dice, and making piles, and I believe it works. My translation was, too complicated, I'll just roll a d20 and riffle each deck that many times. It probably ends up being about the same. When I did that at the MBC PTQ, I noticed that my draws were much better than usual, and the opponents were worse. Since that PTQ, I haven't had any major real life sanctioned tournaments. So, thus began my ritual for the day.

Round 1:
I'm at table 7, so I view this as a bad omen - whenever I start a tourney at a high table I scrub.

Hugh was kind enough to give me a set of unglued Rock Lobster, Paper Tiger, Scissors Lizard, and that's my preferred method of deciding who goes first. I go to my seat, and it seems that I'm paired against a fairly bad player running WW (he shows me as he's shuffling). We do rock paper scissors and I lose, then the d20 rolling shuffling, and I seem to get a fairly good hand (for WW at least).

Mox
Mox
Jet
Slith
Sorcerer
Shatter
[Something that was Moxed and sucked]

He plays a White Weenie hand of crappy 1/1's and a few 2/2's (and nothing else), so I win pretty quickly.

Siding:
+3 Culling Scales
+3 Shatter
+2 Volcanic Hammer
-3 Lightning Greaves
-4 Cosmic Larva
-1 Zozu

I d20 shuffle him, and the game goes.

Mox, Vial go.
Me: land go.
Him: Vial for one go
Me: Shatter vial.

The game's pretty much over at that point. I think at one point he kills my Vulshok Sorcerer with Shining Shoal. I was somewhat surprised (I didn't think WW played that anymore). I don't draw Culling Scales, but he doesn't cast anything that matters.

I'm ecstatic to have won round 1, so I go and find Sean (who lost).

Me: Dude I won round 1! I'm gonna Top 8!
Him: I'll give you five bucks if you do.

The round ends and all of us win. Hugh got paired against a Mono-Blue deck with The Unspeakable (but didn't play Peer Through Depths...) and Storm Crow. He got slightly close to losing, so he was a bit angry, and we spent a while making jokes about the deck.

Before the next round starts I run off to my car and eat some Beef Jerky and drink some water.

Round 2:
I'm at table 1. My opponent is a nice guy (and the friend of the kid I beat last round). He's pretty friendly and starts making jokes about how we're the best players at the tourney. I lose Rock Paper Scissors, d20 shuffle. He gets sort of screwed on his draw, and I get a really good draw. Game one went- him: land, go; me: Chrome Mox, Slith Firewalker go; him: land, go (no Sakura-Tribe Elder!); me: Zo-Zu the Punisher go. He concedes at this point. I look at the War Elemental in my hand I never got to cast and sigh.

As I'm trying to decide how to side I go, "Wow, Genju of the Spires probably owns G/B."

+2 Flamebreak
+1 Lightning Greaves
+3 Genju of the Spires
-3 War Elemental
-3 Shatter

Game 2: I don't remember it exactly, but it went something like this: I drew hand that said "I will beat G/B unless you play badly". My opponent's siding strategy was to bring in Yukoras and Iwamoris and use the "Fatty plan". The game ends up evolving to me having a 4/4 Slith and a Zo Zu out, to my opponents Yukora. We're in draw go, since he doesn't want to commit another guy to the board and get 2 for 1'd. I have a hand full of burn, including 2 Magma Jets and a Shrapnel Blast. I decide to kill his Yukora and go for a fast kill. He untaps and drops Kokusho and Iwamori. I of course lose. Afterwards I'm really mad about the play. I should have just used the Jets to set up for the kill.

I decide to go for the Fatty Plan

+3 Fractured Loyalty
-1 Genju of the Spires
-1 Lightning Greaves
-1 Flamebreak (didn't see any Troll Ascetics).

Game 3, I get a fast hand, Chrome Mox my Fractured Loyalty and kill him on turn 5 (having to go through some removal).

Once again, all 4 of us won the round. "2-0!" I tell Sean. Sean gives me a funny face. Since it worked last time, I go to my car and get some Beef Jerky to eat and drink some more Water.

Round 3:
Hugh and I are right by each other. I do Rock Paper Scissors and lose and then d20 Riffle each deck. (Side note, Whenever I'm second I do not draw my hand until my opponent has chosen. I got to that a lot today.) My hand is all right, but he's playing Vernal Bloom Tooth. Since I don't run Sowing Salt (or other LD) in my sideboard, I start bitching and bitching about how this is a horrible match for me. He Tooths before I have lethal. When he gets a Triskelion and a Kiki-Jiki, I Shatter the Trisk (it was pointless, I had already lost), mostly to give him the fear of Shatter.

+3 Fractured Loyalty
+1 Shatter
+3 Genju of the Spires
-3 Lightning Greaves
-4 Cosmic Larva

Game 2:
He Tooths at 15. As I predicted he'd get Kiki-Jiki and Darksteel Colossus (fearing the Shatter), I kill Kiki and take 11. On my go, I cast Fractured Loyalty on his Darksteel Colossus with an active Vulshok Sorcerer. He enters start of combat. Ping Colossus to steal it (and remove from combat). After combat, he Creeping Mold's my Fractured Loyalty. I go, "HAHAHAH mother ***ker," and that doesn't work. We call a judge, and he sides with my ruling. I swing for 11 and pass back to him. He concedes.

Now that he knows how Loyalty works, I have to side the Greaves back in.

+4 Lightning Greaves
+4 Cosmic Larva
-3 Genju of the Spires
-3 War Elemental
-2 Shock.

I d20 Shuffle him and he mulligans to 5. I keep an iffy hand, but I top deck Lightning Greaves and get a turn 4 kill.

I'm amazed I won that match. Once I'd lost game 1, I was certain it was over. Mad props to Fractured Loyalty.

Go off to find Sean, tell him the news, and then find out how the team did. Dan won, Carson Lost, Hugh won. I make the prediction to Dan that both of us will Top 8, and then get paired against each other. He calls me a retard and says since it's 9 rounds, odds are neither of us will.

Run off to the car for some more Beef Jerky and water.

Round 4:
I'm paired against a very small kid with Ponza. I talk to him about where he's from (he had a very strange name), and it turns out to be Iranian (when against young people, always try to be friendly!). I don't remember how, but I won game 1 in an unspectacular fashion.

Siding
+3 Fractured Loyalty
+1 Lightning Greaves
+2 Volcanic Hammer
-3 War Elemental
-3 Zo-Zu the Punisher

Game 2
Early on we have the standard trade dude for removal trade dude for a while. Eventually he casts a Kumano, and I steal it (I'm at a low life total, and worried because I saw Pulse of the Forge last game).

He plays Hearth Kamis, then passes to me. I have 4 Mountains and pass. End of his turn I kill a Hearth Kami. In response he Jets my... or his Kumano. I'm like... Uh-oh. That's game. So I go for super play!

In response I activate Kumano, targeting Kumano (this does not work). Kid gives me an "Oh sh*t" look, starts thinking, and says, "What the Hell? You only had 2 lands untapped, I wouldn't have done that if I had known."

Me: (sounding scared/desperate) "I don't want the Judges p*ssed at me, here you can just take it back okay?"
Him: All right.
Best play ever. [I can already see the forums lighting up. - Knut]

Then next turn I EoT burn him, tapping out. He steals my Kumano, but I topdeck a Nexus to Shrapnel Blast for 5 and the win. However, the previous play was still awesome.

I run off to tell Sean the good news, and then watch Hugh's game. He's playing game 3 against a Shackles Blue player, and from my judgment has lost (and refuses see if his opponent is bluffing counters).

At the end of the round, Dan and I are 4-0, Carson and Hugh are 3-1.

Our team owns. I'm also starting to get really worried about being paired against Daniel.

Before the next round starts, once again, I get the Jerky.

Round 5:
I lose Rock Paper Scissors to a Shackles mono-Blue player (bad sign). However the d20's pulled through once again and he mulligans.

Game goes:

Him: land, go.
Me: land, go.
Him: land, Mox, go.
Me: land, Lightning Greaves.
Him: Thirst for Knowledge in response. Next turn.
Him: Island, Thieving Magpie Go.
Me: "Oh my God. I just won." Land, Cosmic Larva, Greave it, swing go.
Him: Swing with Magpie, Island, cast Meloku.
Me: Upkeep Magma Jet him, Sacrifice 2 lands. Swing with Cosmic Larva (no block), Shrapnel blast for the win. I can't believe I got game one on the draw!

I personally think he played correctly, he just had no way of knowing I had Cosmic Larva. That's why it's Cosmic Larva.

Siding
+1 Shatter
+2 Volcanic Hammer
+2 Genju of the Spires (I know this is "dumb" because of boomerang but I considered it correct.)
-2 Shock
-3 War Elemental

I d20 shuffle him and he goes down to 5. Game goes

Him: Land, Wayfarer's Bauble go:
Me: Land go
Him: Go
Me: "omg omg omg", Shatter Bauble.
Him: Land go.
Me: Play Nexus #2, swing with Nexus.
Him: Go
Me: Swing with Nexuses.
Him: Land, go.
Me: Swing with Nexi.

After a bit (at 4 lands).

Him: Shackles, go
Me: Shatter Shackles swing with a Nexi.
Him: land, Meloku go.
Me: You're at 7?
Him: Yes

Me: Show Hammer, Shock, Shock (yes, I know it doesn't make sense I'd drawn both).

Being able to do that is the greatest thing about Red.

Everyone won. We're 18-2. Sean's starting to get worried. I perform the ritual again, and get the Jerky.

Round 5:
Next round. I'm paired against John Murray. Everyone's been talking about his "4 Color Special". I ask some guy I kinda know if he's running Sunburst. He's like, "no, it's crazy and has all these good cards you should be scared of and can't predict."

I'm worried, since I can't predict my opponent's deck. But I am of course forgetting one thing. I'm playing Red! It doesn't matter what they're playing. You just kill them.

I lose Rock Paper Scissors, and the d20 shuffle is good to me.

I get a very fast hand, and he Wraths at 6.

I cast Cosmic Larva, Greave it and swing for the game.

Since this guy is "good", he's pretty mad about losing to Larva. So, how do you beat sunburst? Just kill it fast!

+3 Genju of the Spires
+1 Shatter
-3 War Elemental
-1 Shock

Game 2, John gets really pissed off at me for d20 shuffling and starts threatening to get me a DQ or something. So I stop before I do the 13 Riffles. He most likely couldn't have done anything, but I didn't want to irritate my opponent more than necessary. I probably did something wrong (not sure what it was though), and he ends up getting a Black Bringer out, Getting a Clearwater Goblet at 5 (which I can still beat), but once the Circle of Protection: Red is searched for, I concede.

Time to go for the fatty plan. (To beat Circle of Protection Red).

+1 Lightning Greaves
+1 Fractured Loyalty.
-3 Genju of the Spires
-1 Shock

Game goes:

Me: land, go
Him: land, go
Me: land Greaves, go.
Him: land, Elder, go.
Me: Zozu, Greaves, go.
Him: land, go.
Me: Swing, go.
Him: Bringer, go.

So at this moment my hand is:

Mountain, Mox, Shock, Shrapnel Blast, Cosmic Larva;

and my board is:

3 Mountain, Zozu, Greaves.

I have to think about it for a while, but I decide to go all in.

Land, Mox Shock, Shrapnel Blast The Bringer, Cast Cosmic Larva, Swing, Bring you down to 5.

(I know I've lost.)

John untaps and starts thinking for a while. His friend is watching him and they talk a bit. Technically I should have called a judge, but the fact is, John's a good player. If there's a way to win, he'll know. It's not like his friend can help him see something that he wouldn't on his own. So mostly not to be a d*ck, I don't complain. After a while he finally concedes. I hold out my hand for "Good game". He looks at me in disgust and is like, "I got screwed by the draws". God bless the d20.

I go to Sean. "6-0! War Elemental is 6-0!" He just is flabbergasted at this point.

Hugh lost to a strange U/W deck (since he wasn't running Culling Scales), Dan lost to Ponza, and Carson won. We are 20-4.

Carson makes a joke about how we're beating all the sh*tty real teams that came to Regionals wearing team shirts. It's sad but true.

Make a Jerky run and shuffle up for round 7.

Round 7:
I'm playing against a kid my age that seems to be pretty good. As I d20 roll, he asks me if I'm superstitious, and I say, "No, this just works!" I sadly forgot to mention the jerky. He went first. We did the "make guy, trade for removal" thing over and over.

On turn 2 he dropped a Kami.

I Moxed out a turn 2 Vulshok and killed his Kami (and my Mox).

He cast a Vulshok and killed mine.

I cast a Vulshok and killed his.

He ran out of removal, and just LD's me to 3 Mountains.

My hand is dead, and guess what I topdeck!

War Elemental.

Cast War Elemental, Ping him in response to the sacrifice trigger. Get my bag of pennies out.

He casts a Slith swings and gives the go.

I topdeck a Magma Jet, Swing with War Elemental, Ping and Jet him. War Elemental is now a 10/10.

He concedes.

Yes I Won With War Elemental Ahahhahahahahhaha.

Spectators laugh.

For reference, there is nothing else I could have drawn.

+2 Hammer
+1 Lightning Greaves
+3 Fractured Loyalty
-3 Zo-Zu the Punisher
-3 Shatter

He mentions to me that my deck has beaten a lot of his teammates, and remarks about my crazy card choices. I respond with, "what I side is even better". Any ideas as to what that would be? He nods but refuses to say (I took it as him not knowing).

Game 2 he gets a guy with a Sword on it and I die. I never drew Loyalty. I think I Shrapnel Blasted an Arc-Slogger this game.

Siding
-3 War Elemental
+3 Shatter

I steal an early Slogger and it does 20. I never get a Lightning Greaves for it, but he wasted all his burn on my little guys.

He seems disappointed he lost, but at the same time is laughing.

I go to Sean, and break the good news. He keeps his honor and gives me 5 dollars.

The only other undefeated at this point says that next round he wanted to play instead of drawing. I'm like "why?", Him: "Because my deck always beats Red (he's playing a super bad version of Wakefield Green)." "Uh, no, you don't." After a bit, the reasoning he gave was "If I beat you, I'm seeded as first and I wanted to play the 8th place person in the quarters. His deck is bad and he ticks me off, so I sorta want to just play and beat him and knock him out of the Top 8 for being a moron." I call Milton (my friend that "won" Regionals last year), to get his advice. He tells me I need to make the kid draw. So as luck would have it, he decides to.

Once the standings after round 7 are published, I'm in #1!

We draw, and I go off to see how my buddies are doing. Dan wins.

For round 9, I'm paired against a nice chap named Chuck. He wants to draw. As I'm agreeing to, Hugh comes up and tells me I should play it out so I can get Regionals champion, and to help Dan (since there will be 9 people fighting for Gop 8). I think about it for a while, and in the end just draw, since he's a nice guy and I don't want to be a d*ck.

After a long time, the Top 8 starts.

Guess who I'm paired against!

Dan

I make a remark about my psychic abilities and what I said after round 4.

I think about it, and tell Dan I'll give him the slot, but I do want to play to see who would have won. My reasoning is:

-Dan wants to go more than I do.
-Dan is a better player than I am.
-There is something in else for me to do in August.
-Dan is my friend.
-Couldn't hurt to have Dan owe me.

I honestly do want to go myself, but in the end, my intuition just tells me I should give him the slot, so I do.

Hugh is disappointed in me, but I don't really care. The rest of the Top 8 were easy matchups (Green Beatdown, and a White Weenie, and one Ponza), and I just wish I could have been paired against a different player.

The other 7-0-2 manages to lose, so I get the "winner" title, since taking my win would have given me first. To be honest, I had no idea who was going to win our Regionals, but I was pretty much the winner before I conceded!

Milton was in a similar situation.

In the last round he beat his opponent, then gave him a draw to get into the Top 8, in return for a couple of boxes. This turned out to be a mistake since the guy never paid him back (and we found out later that he's screwed lots of people over).

Milton and I think it's pretty cool we've both "won" Regionals though.

My overall thought on the tournament was that it was too easy. If my luck had of been normal, I probably would have had to struggle to pull out each game, and then barely Top 8, but in most of my matches, I not only had a superior deck, but also had superior draws, and as a result went undefeated with ease. I came into Regionals with the goal to prove "crappy Red deck" actually was good, and I think I managed to accomplish that. I never actually thought I would go to nationals, so I guess it's fitting that I didn't.

Some of the details I wrote were a bit excessive (and the tone of the writing was a bit bad), but I wanted to try and give the most thorough/precise report that I could.

I'd like to write a complete primer on the deck, if there is an interest (since it will take a while). So if anyone wants me to, just say so in the forums.

Thanks for reading.

*The reason I kept on mentioning the Beef Jerky was because it kept me completely awake the entire day (even thought I was massively sleep deprived). I've read on health sites that lots of protein can do that, and at least on Saturday it did. So props to Beef Jerky!

Alex Frantzis
alexfz@sbcglobal.net
AIM: Flatline529
MODO: Sorrows Path

011442087497769