GenCon is so unbelievably hit or miss. I guess Phil "Moxlotus" Schmitt described it better as all or nothing. Either way, I was winning or losing, never somewhere in the middle. One day I'm sick as Calista Flockhart after dinner, drunk or high or whatever on Dayquil, trying to force my way through eight epic rounds of Legacy while playing quite possibly the most complicated deck ever. The next day I'm playing exclusively teammates in a one-hundred plus man tournament and sitting uncomfortably in a chair signing a matchslip for a Vintage 0-3 drop as I try not to sneeze on my opponent's not-so-sleeved deck. Day three could barely hold any less expectation. That's probably the one you, the reader, care about. Unfortunately, you guys get some dumb back-story first.

Our goal for takeoff was 5:00 pm. The Almighty Brian Fisher had to get his car serviced by GWS teammate Chad "Eats all the food" Haley at three that afternoon and we were assured that it would take no longer than one hour for the magic that is Chevy part recall to finish itself. At seven, Brian turned his car into the driveway and drove straight to Hardee's after learning about Phil's and my trip to Subway. Three and a half hours later, the three of us arrived at University of Illinois in Urbana to meet up with and stay at the newly-rented residence of Eric Becker and three people none of us knew. We hauled in the blankets and pillows, ate breadsticks and pizza (college specials are teh mise), and slept quiescently to the ingenious sounds of Sigur Ros.

I honestly can't remember the ride to the convention or the first few hours spent getting ready for Legacy. Somewhere between the twenty-four ounce coffee I bought at some random gas station and round one of the Legacy Championships, I got really, really sick. I'd like to take this time to apologize for anything I may have said or done to anyone who heard or saw me during that time period. The next few hours were spent complaining about how sick I was while trying to combo out with Full English Breakfast. Oh... and I cast Phage the Untouchable like three or four times. I went back and slept for at least fourteen hours, most of which in the fetal position due to Fisher's savage bed-hogging skills.

My mantra for day two was easily "I shouldn't have even woken up today." John "You're the Absolute Champion" Donovan said that if they were looking for the cast of Clerks II, I was their man. As I was preparing for the Vintage Prelims by changing out my gross, survived-through-three-Star-City-Power-Events sleeves for fresh I-had-to-pay-way-too-much-for-Dragon-Shields ones, I somehow threw away two cards in my deck. Minus one foil Oath of Druids and one foil Unhinged Island, I ran about the room looking for stuff to complete the deck. I probably should have just dropped there because my first two rounds were against two of my six teammates in the tournament. I think we had about five GWS mirrors that day. I'm pretty sure even dinner sucked. The highlight of the day, drunken people coming into Steak n Shake, claiming sixty-five people in their party and being expelled soon thereafter, didn't even occur until after midnight. There weren't even cute girls on the walk back to the motel. Some days suck so bad you'd rather read Lost Horizon again.

I woke up on the day in question, in the words of Sean "Slug" Daley, "on the wrong side of my head." Regained were my senses of hearing and seeing, but lost were the ambition and zeal of the GenCon experience. My teammates talked me out of switching decks after saying that the list we had been working on for so long had to be as good as we thought it was. We've had success with the deck before. Eric Becker took 10th at SCG Syracuse. Philip Schmitt also took 10th at SCG Chicago and made Top 4 in the prelims with it. Still with a few doubts, I played a deck without Dark Ritual, Mishra's Workshop, Bazaar of Baghdad, or Mana Drain.

GWS Choke Oath
4 Forbidden Orchard
3 Polluted Delta
1 Flooded Strand (I only have 3 foil Deltas er... I mean, tech against Pithing Needle)
2 Island
1 Underground Sea
1 Tropical Island
2 City of Brass
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine

1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Pearl
1 Black Lotus

4 Oath of Druids

1 Akroma, Angel of Wrath
1 Spirit of the Night
1 Gaea's Blessing
4 Duress
4 Chalice of the Void
4 Brainstorm
4 Force of Will
3 Impulse
3 Thirst for Knowledge
1 Mystical Tutor
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Vampiric Tutor
1 Rushing River (should have been Crop Rotation all day)

Sideboard:
4 Oxidize
2 Triskelion
2 Ground Seal
2 Choke
1 Rushing River
1 Tinker
1 Darksteel Colossus
1 Balance
1 Hurkyl's Recall

For one reason or another, people try to play Oath as a control deck. I've never understood this at all. If Oath plays like a control deck, it ends up being a bad Gifts or Control Slaver with another color and infinity cards dedicated to the win condition. The deck has always played like a straight combo deck with more draw and better disruption.

When we first started testing Oath so many months ago, it took us less than ten games to determine that Mana Drain was a poor choice. Never did the Drains provide mana for anything useful. Thirst for Knowledge during the mainphase looks about as attractive as giving your opponent random Mana Drain mana for next turn while Thisting at the endstep provides a counterspell target before playing the real threat on the following turn.

So we switched out Mana Drain for Mana Leak. It was a ton better because of the single colored mana requirement. That list tested pretty decently, but there was still something missing. The big breakthrough came when Eric Becker said something like "I wish every time that I drew a Mana Leak that it was a tutor instead." The truth with Oath.dec is that very little can mess with the combo. Eric had stumbled upon the fact that we could just ignore them, Duress their counters, and play Oath. Impulse was exactly what was needed.

I suggested Choke as a sideboard card against Gifts and Control Slaver seeing as our mana base could support it and the spells all cost three or less. Tapping down during the mainphase for Merchant Scroll or Gifts allowed us the perfect opportunity to play down Choke for the win. No one would see it coming.

Equipped with some serious GWS tech and the cards needed to play, I showed up to a 128-man Vintage Championship. I was feeling quite a bit better, but had little optimism going into round one. Watching Steve do a small dance and cheer when he finds out that the tournament was only seven rounds puts me in a slightly happier, if not whimsical mood.

Round one - James with Tog
James seems like an Extended player who decided to give Type One a try. He's a pretty nice guy but seems to lack both the cards and the know-how to play in a serious Vintage event. Also, he had Brain Freeze in Tog.

Game one: I Duress on turn 1 to see two Boomerang and some stuff. I don't think he knows what I'm playing because he Boomerangs a land on turn 3. Eventually I draw and play Oath of Druids for the win.

Game two: At some point he makes a comment like "So you play with the Power Nine?" I win in a similar fashion as game one.

Round two - Mauro with Workshop Aggro
I've seen Mauro around but never caught his name or what he likes to play. It turns out I get a really good matchup. I don't think he had any real answer to Oath other than Duplicant.

Game one: I keep a hand of Forbidden Orchard, Oath of Druids, Mystical Tutor, Duress, Force of Will, Demonic Tutor after he mulligans down to four cards. He Wastelands my Orchard and I Mystical for Ancestral Recall. It sits in my hand the rest of the game as I never draw another mana source over twelve or more turns.

Game two: I get mana and play Oath of Druids. Akroma comes into play.

Game three: I get mana and play Oath of Druids. Akroma comes into play. I hardcast Triskelion for the last point of damage.

Round three - Dusty with Draw-7
Dusty immediately came across as an awesome guy. We joked around a bit before the match. I felt bad afterwards with all my lucksackery. He was really good-natured about the loss. I think he was my favorite opponent all day.

Game one: He plays a turn 2 Necropotence. I Mystical Tutor for Duress during my upkeep by breaking my turn 1 Black Lotus. Duress gets Force of Willed. He goes off on turn 3 with Mind's Desire for eight with a ton of mana in play. Here is where my lacksacking comes into play. The Desire hits all of the lands in his deck except Tolarian Academy, Crop Rotation, and two artifact mana. I win soon after.

Game two: My hand is crazy good with Force of Will, Blue card, and three Duress. That goes all the way.

Round four - Stephen Menendian with Gifts
I've never played against Steve but my teammates have. We have a running joke about his behavior against Brian Fisher in the Top 8 of SCG: Chicago #1. He fanned open his hand and said "My Mind Is Clouded I Have Soo Many Insane Plays I Don't Know What To Do!1one" and we proceeded to laugh heartily both then and afterwards. It has become a catchphrase for the whole Team GWS. Joking aside, I know Steve is a great player and I'm worried about the match.

Game one: He starts with Volcanic Island, Mox Pearl, Mana Crypt, and some draw spell. All of my dreams are made true with:

"I have a ton of ridiculous plays"
"Could you describe them as 'Insane,' Steve?"
"Yeah, actually I could."

I love Steve so much. It is this sort of hilarity that make Type One so much more than other formats. To honor such a moment:

I Brainstorm, make a big deal about how insane my hand is to the two-man crowd on my side of the table, and do some stuff. All I remember is that I Wasteland his Volcanic, Demonic Tutor for another Waste to get another Dual of his and win sometime after Oath comes down.

Game two: I play a Chalice of the Void at zero on my first turn. Turn 2 he plays Merchant Scroll for Ancestral Recall. His turn 3 is playing the Ancestral and another Merchant Scroll, this time for Gifts Ungiven. I'm set up for the perfect Choke play. Choke comes down on my turn 4 and serves his entire manabase. I win sometime thereafter as he sits on the best cards ever in his hand.

Round Five - Josh Rayden with Gifts
I've played against Josh before. I know he is a great player. I also know my deck rules against Gifts. There is one thing that worries me. Story time:

For one reason or another, I can only win four rounds in a row. Sometimes I'll play against the worst players ever. That is understandable. Other times, like my last SCG experience, I play exclusively good players, then lose in rounds five-eight. This condition has been such an epidemic that my teammates refer to going 4-0 without Top 8'ing as "The Mat Endress." The maneuver has been successfully pulled off at SCG Rochester, SCG Syracuse, SCG Chicago, and in the Legacy Worlds. This would be the fifth large Eternal event in a row that I've done it.

So no pressure.

Game one: He doesn't draw any accelerant artifacts to speak of. I chill out on Duress until I find Oath and put it down. He can't really do anything about that.

Game two: Both Choke and Chalice of the Void show up to the party somewhat early. He bounces both of my dudes, but I sideboarded in the Tinker and Darksteel Colossus. The third guy goes all the way.

Round six and seven are spent signing matchslips as draws and eating dinner with Hale at Subway. We talk about how crazy Dragon was in the metagame and check out hot girls in the adjacent mall. Aside from that crazy redheaded girl that decided to randomly rub Bob "Clown of Tresserhorn" Yu's head, I hadn't really seen girls for like five days. She was worth it though when she said this the night before to Bob during a match:

"I hope you lose and your balls fall off and your head explodes."

Bob commented later that he didn't know her prior to this weekend. Sometimes I wonder about the quality of women that come to nerd conventions. Being single has some benefits like... sanity.

Full of tuna, Diet Coke, and some sort of sauce, I move into the Top 8.

Top Eight - Kurt with Control Slaver
I don't know much about his build other than it is Control Slaver and it is a good matchup.

Game one: He mulligans into a hand that starts with turn 1 Masticore. I give a "WTF, Mates?" and play Ancestral Recall, Brainstorm, Impulse, and another Brainstorm on turns one through four before finally hitting an Oath. His draw obviously sucked and mine obviously ruled.

Game two: I play turn 1 Ground Seal pulling a Force of Will out of his hand. I knew we put those in for that reason! Turn 2 sees a Choke and Chalice of the Void. Turn 3 I Wasteland his untapped land and Brainstorm into another Waste. Some turns later I play Oath and the LARGEMEN show up.

Top Four - Andy with that deck that Andy plays
There isn't much to say about this match other than I drew poorly and he drew above average. I got a rematch on Sunday and served him. Andy rules.

Game one: Andy starts with Island, pass. I Duress to take a Merchant Scroll seeing two Forces in his hand. Turn 2 for me involves Vampiric Tutor for Black Lotus and playing double Oath of Druids to pull Forces out of his hand. I still have Demonic Tutor, so I know as long as he doesn't have a Mana Drain, I'm fine. I play Oath a turn too late and die to Spirits and Tinker, Time Walk. Some teammates (this means just Phil, who revised this article) think I may have made a misplay earlier in the game. Oath could have come down a turn earlier and I would have won the game. Instead of casting Oath #2 I could have cast Demonic for Duress and cast it the same turn. Instead, I use a turn to cast Demonic Tutor and have to wait another turn to cast Oath. However, Andy had infinite cards in hand and if he had 1 more counter than he did, I would have been ruined and without a Demonic to find answers. Besides, I didn't know he had the "fing nutz" of Tinker and Time Walk. I'm still not sure what the optimal play was.

Game two: I lead with Duress to take his only business spell, Thirst for Knowledge. Andy topdecks another Thirst which draws him into Ancestral Recall. My only hope is to Balance his hand away but even that isn't enough. I lose to a crazy Yawgamoth's Will. The highlight is when he Duresses me to take my only card, Mox Sapphire.

So ends my rollercoaster of a Gencon experience. I win a side event on Sunday with my only non-win being a draw to Roy Spires on round one. Love Random Miser.

• Bob and Lou for talking about, shall I say, "distracting" topics during an important 20-man Sunday tournament.
• Dusty for not punching me in the throat when his Mind's Desire sucked bad and I drew the "fing nutz" game two.
• Mark Poole for owning up on my Ancestral.
• That hot girl in the white shirt and black pants who decided to stand, sit, and/or bend near the Vintage Championship area for most of the day. You kept my sexual orientation from being questioned by the unbelievable sexiness of Kevin Cron.
• Phil for telling me to play Oath and helping me to walk back to the room on Thursday night.
• Brian Fisher for being better at Magic than me.
• The rest of Team GWS for putting up with James Joyce quotes and Fiona Apple pictures on our website prior to Gencon.
• Everyone I played against and met that didn't suck. You probably know who you are.

• I-65 Detour for being at least a Steve Menendian Brainstorm out of the way.
• 1997 Lumina engineers for putting washer fluid over the battery rendering it totally inaccessible if Fisher's car refuses to start on Sunday.
• That terrible chili place for making chili that was more like a mush of ground meat than a soup.
• Oath mirrors for being an easy match that isn't fun to play.
• Coffee for being $2.50 in the convention hall. Going from two pots a day to 16 oz a day isn't easy.
• We're accepting guesses for what the team name means at: lost[dot]in[dot]admiration[at sign]gmail[dot]com.

Mat Endress
Team GWS
Third best Vintage player in the world...or something like that
Still sexier than Dan Carp due to my madd shaving skillz