Hello. My name is Andrew, and I am stupid.

Actually, disregard that. It was just a lame, Tim Atenesque technique to make you want to read this article. I really am smart, because I have learned two things: One, that almost all people are stupid, and two, that all people like laughing at stupid people. I'm rambling and confusing myself now, so I think I should get on with the article. The first section will be about how horribly we (Team Bus Drivers) did at Limited.

If you feel like skipping towards the Type 1 Strategy section, just search for the"*"

We officially had the coolest team name of the tournament. Team Bus Drivers. You know why? Because We Take You To School! Okay, maybe it wasn't that funny, but I'm immature and I convinced my team to use that name over Schnitzel. Schnitzels are funny, but taking people to school is just classic comedy. Sort of. Anyway, I won't bother with an actual report of the matches, but I'll post the results of each of the games. I went undefeated, losing only a single game. Nathan Scott, one of my teammates, lost 1-2 every single match. Stephen Li, my other teammate, lost every game as well, but that's because his deck lacked something to be desired, i.e, it got the shaft. That was a fairly big mistake, as we probably should've cut a few things from my deck and given him Black/Green. Note that we are all very inexperienced with Limited, and none of us have ever done Team Sealed. Hopefully that can justify our performance. Here are the decklists that we had, by the way:

Me (Andrew Ross), Blue/Black Affinity:
8 Island
1 Seat of the Synod
6 Swamp
1 Vault of Whispers

3 Arcbound Worker
3 Neurok Prodigy
2 Pewter Golem
1 Leaden Myr
1 Silver Myr
1 Vedalken Engineer
1 Nim Replica
1 Nim Shrieker
1 Somber Hoverguard
1 Neurok Spy
1 Duplicant

2 Irradiate
1 Echoing Decay (sometimes boarded out for Inertia Bubble)
1 Regress
1 Aether Spellbomb
1 Viridian Longbow
1 Annul

Nathan Scott, Red/White Aggro-Semiequipmentish Stuff
10 Plains
7 Mountain

1 Iron Myr
1 Razor Golem
1 Oxidda Golem
1 Hematite Golem
1 Arcbound Stinger
1 Loxodon Mystic
2 Raise the Alarm
1 Leonin Battlemage
1 Emissary of Hope
1 Luminous Angel
1 Spikeshot Goblin
1 Skyhunter Cub
1 Lost Card (sorry, don't know what it is now)
1 Pteron Ghost

1 Bonesplitter
1 Specter's Shroud
1 Vulshok Morningstar
1 Grab the Reins
1 Awe Strike
1 Electrostatic Bolt
1 Shatter
1 Altar's Light

He won one game with this every match, but managed to lose every round with it unfortunately...

Stephen Li, Stuff we thought might be half-decent/Ponza (don't ask. Ever.)
8 Forest
7 Mountain
1 Stalking Stones
2 Talisman of Indulgence

3 Reap and Sow
2 Molten Rain (please please don't ask.)

2 Echoing Ruin
1 Creeping Mold
1 Deconstruct
1 Pyrite Spellbomb
1 Predator's Strike
2 Viridian Joiner
1 Pulse of the Tangle
2 Clockwork Condor
1 Tel-Jilad Exile
1 Tel-Jilad Chosen
1 Drill Skimmer
1 Arcbound Bruiser
1 Elf Replica
1 Tangle Spider

Yeah, we really, really should've done B/G/r - especially since we had Mirrodin's Cores in the sealed pool. With a Pewter Golem and an Echoing Decay from my deck as well as the Scavenging Scarabs, Consume Spirit, and Chittering Rats, his deck might've done much better... as I said at first, I am stupid and I apologize. Our performance could've been worse though. We only got second to last. Not last. Pwned.

*

Aaaanyway, I'm fairly sure that that opening section was boring and stupid like me. But now we get to the good stuff. Ahhh, Type 1. You know you want it. I was playing a version of Blue/Green Fish (a.k.a, WorseThanFish.dec), originally developed by Jacob Orlove. Here was the list I ran:

Maindeck:
4 Flooded Strand
4 Tropical Island
1 Island
4 Mishra's Factory
3 Faerie Conclave
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine
1 Yavimaya Coast
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Emerald

4 Cloud of Faeries
4 Spiketail Hatchling
4 River Boa
3 Suq'Ata Firewalker

4 Force of Will
2 Stifle
4 Standstill
4 Curiosity
3 Null Rod
1 Regrowth
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk
1 Oxidize

Sideboard:
3 Waterfront Bouncer
3 Root Maze
2 Magus of the Unseen
2 Energy Flux
2 Maze of Ith
2 Blue Elemental Blast
1 Null Rod

Blue-Green Fish is a very powerful Aggro-Control deck that uses tons of card draw as well as efficient, turn 2 oriented (to accommodate the Conclaves and Stifles) creature base. It's uncounterable manlands and sickly efficient drawing engine make it excellent versus control, and it has the tools to stall out aggro while swinging with a few fliers to win. Fish also has excellent mana denial, with Wastelands, Strip Mine, Null Rods, and Oxidize. I don't have space to go into a huge rant as to why this deck is good, but I will take the time to justify my unorthodox choices.

#1: Regrowth
This card is sick. I cut an Oxidize for it and have never looked back. This card recurs Standstills, the power nine, Strip Effects, Countermagic, whatever you need. This card has won me plenty of games, and has been a huge help whenever I've drawn it. I definitely prefer this over one Oxidize.

#2: Waterfront Bouncer
This is a similarly sick card for the Type 1 metagame. It is a lifesaver versus the mirror and pretty much any aggro deck except for Sligh or Goblins. It hoses Dragon to the extreme by providing a non-Duressable, non-Xantid Swarmable way to stop Dragon. All you need to do is bounce their Worldgorger Dragon while the"all permanents leave play" trigger is on the stack. Then the"all permanents return to play" trigger goes on the stack on top of the leave play trigger, meaning it resolves first, so it will return nothing since nothing has been removed yet, and then all of the Dragon player's permanents will be removed. Aaah, run-on sentences 4L. [Trust me, encouragement is not needed. - Knut] Note that it also provides a fairly big delay for Tog, because they need to deal with it before pumping up/Berserking their Psychatog.

Onto the matchups:

Round 1: U/G Madness/Fish (some sort of hybrid)
Game 1: He wins the die roll, starts off with Tropical Island, Mox, Wild Mongrel. I play a Faerie Conclave and a Mox. He Wastelands my Conclave and plays a Null Rod. I drop my last land of the game, a Mishra's Factory, which gets Strip Mined. Ouch. I stuck it out for a few turns to see some of what his deck had. It ran Mishra's Factories, Wild Mongrels, Basking Rootwallas, Spiketail Hatchlings, River Boas, and Curiosities.

Sideboarding:
+3 Waterfront Bouncer
+2 Maze of Ith
-3 Null Rod

-1 Oxidize
-1 Standstill

Game 2: He starts off quickly again, getting me down to three life, but I stabilize and take care of his creatures with Mazes, Bouncers, and Firewalkers. He plays Drop of Honey, but I bounce some of my own stuff and have enough fuel to kill him. This game takes a long time though.

Game 3: Time is called midway through the match, and although I appear to have the upper hand, I cannot kill him in time.

Matches: 0-0-1 Games: 1-1

Round 2: Meandeck Slavery
Game 1: He wins the die roll, and goes Mishra's Workshop, Black Lotus, Mox, Pentavus... and I didn't have the Force of Will. He proceeded to drop a Goblin Welder and a Mindslaver in the next two turns.

Sideboarding:
+1 Null Rod
+2 Magus of the Unseen
+2 Energy Flux

-4 Cloud of Faeries
-1 Curiosity

Game 2: I keep a Force of Will-less hand, but it was good nonetheless with Conclave and Standstill. I play my Conclave, and he drops a first turn Chalice of the Void for two. I was holding an Oxidize however, and all I needed was a Green source. He plays Blood Moon next turn though, and I don't draw the Energy Flux in time.

Matches: 0-1-1 Games: 1-3

Yeah, at this point I had pretty much given up, but I decided that if I went 5-0 from here I could still make Top 8. Or Top 9.

Round 3: Survival of the Fittest - Recurring Nightmare
Ahhh... the loser's bracket. This deck is not really a Type 1 deck, it's just an Extended deck that doesn't have both its combo pieces banned in Type 1.

Game 1: I get tons of fuel from Standstill, Standstill, Regrowth Standstill, Standstill. This allows me to Firewalk his Birds of Paradise and Llanowar Elves, while Wastelanding him down to two lands. He drops Survival during this game, but never sees a Living Death.

Sideboarding (I didn't know about the Living Death part here, so I just did my anti-aggro sideboarding):

+2 Waterfront Bouncer
+2 Maze of Ith

-3 Null Rod
-1 Oxidize

Game 2: I counter his Living Death and make him go fish (heh) for answers with his Survival of the Fittest. He gets Krovikan Horror. That's a problem. I Spiketail Hatchling his first attempt to play it, then use Waterfront Bouncer to hold it off until I draw into a Wasteland for his only Black source. I proceed to beat him down from there.

Matches: 1-1-1 Games: 3-3

Round 4: U/R Fish
Game 1: I don't remember too much about this game, it was banished to the voids of my mind. To sum it up pretty thoroughly though, I lost.

Sideboarding:
+2 Blue Elemental Blast
+2 Maze of Ith
+3 Waterfront Bouncer

-3 Null Rod
-1 Oxidize
-2 Standstill
-1 Curiosity

Game 2: Suq'Ata Firewalker came down and decimated his board. River Boa and Co. proceeded to beat him to a bloody pulp.

Game 3: Again I get Suq'Ata Firewalker down (although a bit late), and decimate his board. However, I am at one life. I have a ton of creatures down at this point, and I am dealing eight (!) damage a turn. He doesn't draw his Fire / Ice in time, which I would've been powerless to stop, since I did not have the mana to hardcast a Force of Will and not enough life to pitch it.

Matches: 2-1-1 Games: 5-4

Round 5: Monobrown Beats
Game 1: He drops two Juggernauts and a Triskelion very early, after a few turns I'm forced to scoop.

Sideboarding:
+2 Magus of the Unseen
+2 Energy Flux
+1 Null Rod
+2 Maze of Ith
+3 Waterfront Bouncer

-3 Suq'Ata Firewalker (I saw no red sources for Goblin Welders)
-2 Stifle
-2 Cloud of Faeries
-2 Curiosity
-1 Spiketail Hatchling

Game 2: He gets some early gas in Sphere of Resistance, two Triskelions, and a Juggernaut. I am able to drop a Mishra's Factory, a Cloud of Faeries, and a Null Rod during this time. I Wasteland his only non-Mishra's Factory land, leaving him manaless, and eventually stabilize at three life after killing his Juggernaut with the Cloud and the Mishra's Factory and getting Maze of Ith and River Boa to deal with his Triskelions. I fly over them with Faerie Conclave until I eventually draw Energy Flux and crush him.

Game 3: He keeps a one-land hand with some artifact mana. I play a Mox and a land and cast Null Rod, then Wasteland his land. He stays manascrewed while I beatdown for the win.

Matches: 3-1-1 Games: 7-5

Round 6: Hulk Smash
Game 1: He mulligans down to five, I have a good Standstill start. I draw into a fair amount of gas while denying him the chance to recover from his initial card advantage and win.

Sideboarding:
+2 Maze of Ith
+3 Waterfront Bouncer

-1 Null Rod
-1 Oxidize
-3 Suq'Ata Firewalker

Game 2: He mulligans down to four this time. Yeah... He played his only land, which got Wastelanded. I won that one.

Matches: 4-1-1 Games: 9-5

I was a bit nervous after this match, because I was pretty sure that if I won the next round, I would make Top 8. I pace around a bit, but I realize that that will only make me more nervous. So I listen to some of the Type One talk, and try to go with the flow. Here was one conversation I tried to join:

Type 1 Player: Actually, there's a rule against determining a match outcome by random means. You can get disqualified if you do that in round 3 or earlier of a 7 round tournament such as this...

Me (just overheard the last sentence): Heh. There's one legal way to do that though, Mana Crypt.

Type 1 Player: No, that's an in-game effect and we're not talking about that.

Sigh... No one appreciates my humor.

Round 7: Oshawa Stompy
Game 1: I draw tons off of Standstills, giving me sufficient answers for his creatures. I manage to get two hits with a double Curiositied River Boa sometime in here, with his Viridian Zealot and Basking Rootwalla already dispensed with, and eventually I switch to attacking with fliers and beat him.

Sideboarding:
+2 Maze of Ith
+3 Waterfront Bouncer

-3 Null Rod
-1 Oxidize
-1 Suq'Ata Firewalker

Game 2: I decide to keep a Mox Sapphire, Mana Crypt hand with no other mana sources. I topdeck a Mox Emerald however, and play my Waterfront Bouncer. I use the Bouncer to win all of my Standstill wars and help Maze of Ith hold off his beaters, which were formidable. He definitely won me that game. Standstills drew me into plenty of land and I swing with my fliers for the win.

Matches: 5-1-1 Games: 11-5

At this point I'm very sure of Top 8ing, so I decide to call my mom and tell her I'll be a bit late. My teammates didn't have cell phones, and the only person I could find who would lend me theirs was Alex Shvartsman. I may have missed the Top 8 on my horrible loser-bracket tiebreakers, but at least I got to borrow Alex Shvartsman's phone. (If you're reading this, thanks again!)

So I missed the Top 8 on tiebreakers, barely clinching ninth place. For my prize I got something better than any Black Lotus though: A free dinner (expense of Nathan Scott's mom) from Arby's. This is a warning to all of you. Never eat at Arby's. I've had the worst indigestion possible from this restaurant, and I am convinced that they are actually a secret alien organization bent on destroying the bowels of the earthlings.

Props:
Me, for writing this article
Nathan Scott, for Top 8ing his JSS and being my teammate
Stephen Li, for not getting that pissed at me because I'm stupid
Regrowth and Waterfront Bouncer, for being the shiznit
Marc Perez, for winning the whole thing and not getting paired against me
StarCityGames and Dream Wizards, for hosting the GP
Alex Shvartsman, for lending me his cell phone
#Magic-League on irc.xnet.org, for helping dirty AOLers like me test
TerraN of #Magic-League, for coming up with the Regrowth tech

Slops:
Me, for being stupid
Arby's, for convincing me that I had a peptic ulcer
The loser's bracket, for giving me bad tiebreakers
E-League, for hating AOLers
Zherbus, for banning AOLers from The Mana Drain
AOL, for being universally hated
The source for missing the Top 8 on tiebreakers, (and ripping off SCG featured writers,)

Andrew Ross
asr1210REMOVE@THISaol.com
Thissa on most message boards
Jenneke on www.magic-league.com