"Trevor, what just happened?"

"Dude, you won!"

When I saw that StarCityGames was going to host a P9 tournament in Chicago, my first thought was, "Finally! I get to play in a large Type 1 event, against all the major decks I have read about online. Maybe I'll even get to put some faces with all the big names I have seen!"

Then realization set in. This tournament was not going to be like one of the local tournaments, where dead decks and sub-par, non-powered versions of popular decks ran rampant. This was going to be an event where high-caliber play was going to be key.

At this point, I had set my sights on playing my 4CC deck that I had had great success with over the past few months. I figured that since I had never played in such a large and diverse environment that 4CC would be a solid choice. So I really didn't do a whole lot of playtesting. Then a bomb was dropped. Team MeanDeck broke open the format with their MeanOath at the SCG P9 II tournament. This kind of changed things; now I had two weeks to come up with something to deal with this new, crazy-fast killing machine. I thought that I would just tweak my 4CC a little to deal with it, seeing as it already had a decent matchup against everything else... So a week went by with no real testing.

I had tried to contact my Vintage guru teammate Trevor by email, but to no avail. Finally, I got in touch with him and we decided to meet up on Tuesday, four days before the tournament. In the meantime, I got together with my other teammates Ben and Charlie, one of whom was not going and the other was undecided. We threw together a MeanOath deck.

Now the changes I had made to the 4CC deck helped a little bit. Sadly, there was still the overwhelming fact that if the Oath player got a nuts draw, it was game over... Not to mention that 4CC cannot out-counter the Oath player. We accepted this as a necessary risk that would have to be taken, and would just have to wait it out until the time for sideboarding arrived.

Finally, I got to meet up with Trevor. We decided to playtest the two decks that we planned on taking to the tournament against Oath some more... And as it turned out, my 4CC deck really didn't cut it. Trevor's Man Show-5/3 variant, on the other hand, had a much better matchup against Oath. At this point, I was so set on playing 4CC that I made some drastic changes to it. I then play Oath with it again, and...

Um...yeah. 4CC was way too slow.

I then tried my luck against Trevor's deck. This did not go much better. So I just decided to play Trevor with the Oath deck for the rest of the night, and gave the 4CC a little break.

Later on that night, I threw together some stupid random Workshop-based control deck. I really have no idea what I was thinking at the time, since the deck pretty much did nothing. I think it must have been fatigue that made it look like it could actually do something.

Needless to say, the next night of playtesting did not go much better than the previous night. Now that we had playtested for a combined total of about six hours, I decided that I would just go to this tournament and make the best of it. I figured that I would play a Workshop-based deck since I don't own any, and thus have never had the chance to play a deck based around them.

But then I looked at 5/3 and thought about how it can just get some insanely explosive draws. Then I had a look over the top 8 list of the SCG P9 II tournament: I then realized that the Seal of Cleansing in the second place deck would work out quite well against just about any deck, excluding combo. The Seals would help out greatly against Oath, slow down other artifact-heavy decks, and on the off chance that a game one Null Rod hit the table, they would be a saving grace.

I still definitely needed another cheap, quick answer to the Oath deck. Although this answer needed to still be helpful against other decks as well. The answer was Swords to Plowshares. This classic removal spell has always been a favorite of mine... Not to mention once I got looking at what the possible metagame would be like in Chicago, it just seemed to be the right choice. Even if I did not go up against an Oath player, the Swords would still be a strong card against other Welder-based decks, 4CC, and even Fish.

Then Trevor said that he thought he found some super tech that we could use. Now as most of you should know by now, there were two Jester's Caps in the sideboard of the deck I was playing - and I have to tell you, this card single-handedly won me some games. I never even had to go across the table with any beats. I give Trevor mad props for being the old man on the team and thinking of an Ice Age card as uber-tech. I pretty sure all this came about from the fact that I really wanted to run Cranial Extraction in my 4CC build. Even though Jester's Cap still cost the same amount of mana to play, it was much more broken in this deck. The speed that you can get a Cap into play is just gross. You could play it with Workshop + whatever mana acceleration, Tinker it out (which was quite a nasty surprise, I must say), or just pitch it to the yard and Weld it back into play.

So finally, Friday rolled around. Trevor got off work and we headed out of the old capital city of Springfield, bound for Chicago, taking a slight detour to Peoria (so I could grab my new car insurance cards, as my current ones would expire on Sunday).

The drive up was pretty much us not really thinking about the tournament that much. So after about four hours of travel, we arrived at our teammate Anthony's place. Things turn to business. Trevor and I helped Anthony get a new deck going, as he has come to the conclusion that he really shouldn't try to pick up a combo deck and learn to play it thirteen hours before the tournament. While Anthony is building his deck Trevor and I played out the mirror match, 5/3 vs. 5/3. This turns out to be a not-so-entertaining group of games. I do alright, but Trevor continues to get answers to my threats. I played it off as just getting the shaft, and decided to play Anthony's insanely metagamed deck.

Yeah.... This really wasn't that good of an idea. Anthony proceeded to kick my teeth in with a harsh prejudice. At this point, I was fed up, and went back to 4CC. Same result: Blood Moon + Non-basic land = Sad times.

I was completely sickened by the whole situation. I started saying that I just won't play Saturday - that it didn't matter, since I would just scrub out with stupid play mistakes anyway. Anthony and Trevor told me that I was being irrational; I just needed to sleep and worry about it in the morning. We all decided to get some sleep at around 2:30 in the morning. Unfortunately, Trevor snores something fierce.

I woke up around 6:30. I looked over at the table covered with our decks and random other things, and I came to an agreement with myself that if I was going to play, I needed to stop thinking of possible results based upon only a mere couple of hours of playtesting. I decided not to play 4CC since it was too slow, and picked 5/3 since it can just get the nuts draw sometimes. I sat down and started building a sideboard for the deck. In went the Jester's Caps!

I finished writing out the deck list just as Trevor wakes up. We all got ready and headed out to Niles, grabbing something to eat at McD's (mmmm... grease) and got to Pastimes to register.

Finally, pairings were posted; I found my seat and shuffled up. A good amount of time passes by, and I start to wonder if my opponent is going to show. I say something jokingly to the other players around me that I wouldn't mind a first-round bye.

Well, it turns out to be anything but that.

We saw someone start to head over to my table - and lo and behold, it's my opponent. A couple of the other players around turned to me and said, "I feel sorry for you, man." I asked them why they said that, and they replied, "That's Doug Linn - he's a MeanDecker."

Round 1: vs. Doug Linn with Control Slaver
Game 1: He has to mulligan down to five cards. This pretty much seals his fate.

Game 2: He gets out a Mindslaver lock early. I scooped.

Game 3: After using an Swords on his Platinum Angel, I got a Jester's Cap out. I used the Cap to rip out three of his Welders, and noticed that there is only one Mindslaver in the deck. I Welded out the Jester's Cap again, and proceed to rip out the rest of his win conditions.

1-0

Round 2: vs. Hulk
Game 1: I thought he was playing Oath of Druids... Which was a bad assumption. He proceeds to crush me under a huge Psychatog.

Game 2: I was able to keep him at bay by nailing one of his Togs with a Pyroblast. I got out some beats, and two turns later it's over.

Game 3: I got off a Jester's Cap. Nothing else to say.

2-0

Round 3: vs. Kowal on TMD with TPS
Game 1: I got the turn 1 Trinisphere. This slowed him down enough for me to get out some fatal beats.

Game 2: Once again, I got a turn 1 Trinisphere... But he's able to answer it, sending it to the graveyard. I eventually got out a Welder, and Welding the Trinisphere back in locked him out.

3-0

Round 4: vs. Control Slaver
Game 1: This just doesn't go well at all. He was able to get out a Platinum Angel, and answered all my attempts to remove it.

Game 2: I made some poor play mistakes, which he capitalized on. I lose horribly, and rightfully.

3-1

Round 5: vs. Corey of Team Short Bus with 5/3
Game 1: He got mana screwed, and was unable to stabilize.

Game 2: I got out an early Crucible of Worlds/Trinisphere lock. He was able to drop a Juggernaut- and even though I had his mana base locked down, I was unable to find an answer. Finally, after a couple of turns of getting beat in the face, I found a Welder, which hit and I was able to stop the beats by welding out the Juggernaut for a Mox. That sealed it.

4-1

Round 6: vs. 4CC
Game 1: This was actually a very good game. He was able to drop a morphed Exalted Angel, but I delayed the flip by attacking his white mana base. I was hoping to drop the Triskelion I had in my hand, but sadly we both had Crucibles out with recurring Wastelands. I got a Juggernaut onto the field and started smashing; sadly, he is able to unmorph the Angel and swing. I finally drop both the Trik (a turn too late), and a Juggernaut.

I declared an attack and he responded by cycling a Decree of Justice for four soldier tokens. I shot three of them with the Trik before blockers could be declared, and he was now in lethal range. I dropped a Platinum Angel. He Swords the Angel - then, forgetting about the four life that I just gained from the removal of my Angel, he swung. I come across for the win.

Game 2: Turn 1 Trinisphere. Turn 2 Crucible of Worlds + Strip Mine. We played it out for a couple of turns, but by turn 5 all he had in play was a Mox Pearl. I laid a Juggernaut, and he scooped.

5-1

Round 7: vs. 7/10
Game 1: He got mana screwed, while I beat down with Juggernauts.

Game 2: He was able to get a decent start, but I had the Crucible/Wasteland draw. Eventually, I Tinkered in a Sundering Titan, destroying the rest of his lands.

6-1

Round 8: vs. Roland Chang with Trinistacks
We ID'd to lock in our places in the Top 8.

6-1-1

Quarterfinals: vs. Chris J (Karn, Mox Golem on TMD) with Control Slaver
Game 1: I got an absolutely crazy draw. I laid a Trinisphere the first turn, then a second-turn Juggernaut, third turn I swung and Tinkered out a Sundering Titan. He scoops.

Game 2: Nothing really happens for a while. I laid a Juggernaut. Shortly thereafter he got his Mindslaver lock. I scooped.

Game 3: I could either drop a Goblin Welder or I could play a Memory Jar the first turn. I figured that I would rather be able to get the Jar out, so I led with the Welder. He let it through - and evil thoughts formed in my mind. I got the Jar out and he made a sad face.

Semi-finals: vs. Roland Chang with Trinistacks
Now, I am pretty apprehensive about this match after watching him destroy the Tog player in the quarterfinals.

Game 1: He was never able to really establish a lock in this game. However, he did beat me down to four life with a Platinum Angel before I was finally able to get an answer. I had played a Juggernaut, which he shortly removed from the game with his Duplicant. I then laid a Platinum Angel on the table. It was a stalemate for a little bit until I was able to drop a Welder. I then Welded out his Angel and swung for the kill.

Game 2: I don't remember much at this point, since I think that I just went into autopilot. All I know is that I got trounced, and lost this game via lots of Wastelands hitting the table. Or something.

Game 3: I got out an early Welder. He was able to keep my artifact threat down with Seal of Cleansing for a little while, but eventually the Welder gave me back the threats that I needed to win.

Finals: vs. Brian Fisher with 7/10
Game 1: I thought I was going to have a real problem when he played a first-turn Chalice of the Void for zero, after dropping a Mox... But I was finally able to get out a Seal of Cleansing, and dispatched the Chalice. This allowed me to drop the artifact mana that had built up in my hand. I dropped a Sundering Titan, hoping to lock him under the Trinisphere that I had in play. He then used a Duplicant on my Titan. I used a Duplicant of my own on the next turn to get rid of his new beatstick, but my dreams of locking down the board with the Goblin Welder in my hand were short-lived when he used another Duplicant to remove my Duplicant.

I dropped the Welder in my hand and some beats. Shortly thereafter, the game was over.

Game 2: Again I have no idea what happened. All I know is that I died very quickly.

Game 3: If I remember right, I believe that I got out an early Trinisphere, and he was unable to work his way out from under it. I dropped some early beats, and smashed face for a few turns. At some point, I dropped a Crucible of Worlds with a Wasteland in the yard.

We shook hands, and congratulated each other on a job well done.

I would like to thank everyone that attended the SCG P9 III tournament, Star City Games, and Pastimes, for making it such an entertaining and friendly event. I must also thank my teammates Trevor, Charlie, Ben, and Anthony for all their help in play testing and preparation. Thanks, guys, for all the late nights and talking me out of playing 4CC!

I hope to see everyone at the next SCG P9 tournament.

Joshua Roughley