It's raining men! Hallelujah it's raining men! Amen! First thing's first, I don't care what you call the deck. You can call it It's Raining Men (IRM for short) or you can call it Stacker. You can call it Wheat Thins, Robin Hood, or Pileofcrap.dec for all I care. In truth, the name It's Raining Men came about when teammates Mat Endress and Eric Becker were testing. Mat dropped a man three turns in a row and Eric started singing. I don't know why - maybe he loves that song or maybe he really loves the fat men on the table - but either way Eric sang it and he named the deck in this fashion.

Team GWS wanted a deck that would win against combo and still fair well verses the rest of the field. We had been playing a 7/10 variant all summer long and while it dominated almost every tournament it entered, we still feared combo. I suggested somehow forcing Pyrostatic Pillar into the deck. Cutting valuable sideboard slots for Pillar tended to worsen the deck's performance. Maindeck, the card seemed to be a huge liability. We put Pyrostatic Pillar in 5/3 and it diluted the deck too much. It goes without saying that the damage added up too fast as well.

It wouldn't be an established deck that could utilize the Pyrostatic Pillar effectively. I suggested cutting Blue and emailed a list. My team tested and determined my list was one of the worst decks in the history of Magic. However, they were inspired to tweak it into this:

Thursday October 14^th. IRM:
Men: 10
4 Juggernaut
4 Su-Chi
1 Razormane Masticore
1 Karn, Silver Golem

Burn: 6
3 Lightning Bolt
3 Shrapnel Blast

Disruption: 18
2 Goblin Welder
4 Trinisphere
4 Pyrostatic Pillar
3 Crucible of Worlds
1 Strip Mine
4 Wasteland

Mana: 25
4 Mishra's Workshop
4 Mishra's Factory
8 Mountain
1 Black Lotus
1 Sol Ring
1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Jet
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mana Vault

Sideboard:
4 Scald
4 Red Elemental Blast
4 Chalice of the Void
Stuff

The deck was very good against Meandeath and TPS. It also beat 4CC and Tog more than it lost. The deck was almost 50/50 against Control Slaver and 5/3. Mono-Blue keeled over and died to this thing. The Welders were mostly bait, because we had one card in the entire deck that put cards into the graveyard for us. The only horrible match it had was Oath but "Oath sucked and wouldn't be played*". I am glad because I hate Oath. Notice the date above the decklist.

Fast forward a week. Meandeck kicks butt at SCG2 with Oath. Our deck now officially sucks. I hate Oath. Not only is Oath good, but it makes our best matchup (Mono-Blue) basically obsolete. Upon reviewing the second place 5/3 list, we get an idea: toss mono-Red and go with a 5-color mana base for some insane cards. This is what GWS comes up with:

Men: 11
4 Juggernaut
4 Su-Chi
3 Razormane Masticore

Disruption: 19
4 Trinisphere
3 Pyrostatic Pillar
3 Seal of Cleansing
3 Chains of Mephistopheles
3 Ankh of Mishra
3 Crucible of Worlds

Mana: 30
4 Mishra's Workshop
4 Mishra's Factory
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine
4 Gemstone Mine
3 City of Brass
7 SoLoMoxen
1 Lotus Petal
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mana Vault

We added maindeck Seal of Cleansing and Chains of Mephistopheles to try to shore up the Oath match. That puts our disruption count up to 19! "This deck should kill everything**". The deck was, well, embarrassing. It was less than 50/50 against Oath and pretty much the rest of the field: definitely not the deck to bring to SCG3. The aggressive nature found in the original list, falls short here. Infinite disruption could not match damage to the head. Seals and Chains had to be cut. We scrapped it altogether and tried to modify our original deck.

How can IRM beat Oath? What will people play to beat Oath? Those were the two questions. My team predicted Meandeath and other storm-based combo would be widely played as an answer to Oath, so we wanted IRM to retain the initial disruption. 5/3 did very well at SCG2 and was sure to be a popular deck. We also hypothesized that while a huge chunk of the field would be playing Oath, the endless mirror matches and draws would keep them playing against each other all day. However, the sheer number of Oath we expected made it a necessity to pay attention to it. So we were back to "How can IRM win versus Oath and huge men?"

There are two ways IRM can beat Oath. The first is Duplicant. Naturally it fit in with the theme. Not only did it remove problematic creatures, but it swung tempo strictly in favor of The Men. It goes without saying that Duping a Akroma can easily switch "loss" to "win." Duplicant is also good against 5/3, stealing their huge Sundering Titans and Control Slaver's Goblin Welders. I love you Duplicant.

The second way IRM can beat Oath consists of primarily "out-mening" your opponent.

Step 1: cast man.
Step 2: cast another man.
Step 3: Collect Underpants.
Step 4. Profit. Step 5: cast man.
Step 6: attack.

Razormane Masticore is very good at steps 3-6. He kills Spirit of the Night. But what about Akroma? Use Razormane's ability to shoot her, then attack with all your men. If she blocks a Juggernaut or other man, you just dealt at least five damage. If the big Angel blocks Razormane, she dies and you still deal damage with your other men. If your opponent does block with the Angel, then he may have to waste a turn reshuffling his graveyard into his library if there are no creatures left in the deck. Razormane even shoots Juggs. I love you Razormane Masticore.

With the addition of Duplicant and upping the count Razormane Masticore count, Goblin Welder looks a lot better. Mat was quoted as saying, "If this deck can't properly use one of the best cards in the format, maybe we should be trying harder to make a good deck." Razormane Masticore is a discard outlet and Welding Duplicants is so much fun. We put a full set of Welders in the deck this time.

At this point, we were left with three burn spells in the deck. That seemed too random and they were cut for Ankh of Mishra. It fit the theme of damage to the head and gave us another angle of attack. It has horrible synergy with Crucible, but the damage race is rarely a problem for The Men. We now have lands, creatures, enchantments, and artifacts that deal damage. This is the decklist I played:

Team GWS: It's Raining Men
Men:
4 Juggernaut
4 Su-chi
4 Goblin Welder
3 Razormane Masticore
2 Duplicant

Disruption:
4 Pyrostatic Pillar
4 Trinisphere
3 Crucible of Worlds
3 Ankh of Mishra

Mana:
7 Mountain
1 Strip Mine
4 Wasteland
7 SoLoMoxen
1 Mana Vault
1 Mana Crypt
4 Mishra's Workshop
4 Mishra's Factory

Sideboard:
4 Red Elemental Blast
4 Chalice of the Void
3 Lava Dart
3 Rack and Ruin
1 Duplicant

That Mishra is a really busy guy isn't he? I mean, he has 4 Workshops and 4 Factories. And you think those assembly workers get a season off? No sir! Those assembly workers are toiling away in that factory spring, summer, autumn, and winter. Poor guys. I wonder how many Ankhs and War Machines they have to build a day.

There is only one problem with the deck for me. Too bad I only owned about 20 of the cards I needed, seven of which were Mountains. I have a ton of cards I need to borrow. My teammates assured me I would be able to play the deck, but I was still hesitant.

Saturday November 6^th
I wake up at 5:30, shower, and drive to pick up my girlfriend Stephanie (Random tangent: the girl is using her day off to travel three hours, both ways, to a Magic tournament. And if that wasn't cool enough she made sandwiches and brought the savage tech that is Oreo cookies. Not just any regular Oreo cookies, the ones with the orange cream in the middle. It doesn't get much better than orange-creamed Oreo cookies.).

I pick up Brian Fisher and we meet Mat Endress at a local café. I have what I always have; 2 eggs sunny side up, 2 pieces of wheat toast with grape jelly, and hash browns. So good! Since Mat is always late, we order for him. When we were ordering, I believe Fisher said something along the lines of "Oh, and we have a phantom friend who will have pancakes with peaches." Mat was savagely owned because he always gets French Toast with peaches, not pancakes. Close enough. He complains and we proceed to not care.

We take off and drive 45 minutes to meet with fellow GWSers Eric Becker and Panayiotis Roumbos (furtherknown as Pete). They are my ride home today, so I plan to leave my car at one of their houses so they don't have to drive any extra for me. However they bone us when they leave early. I leave my two-week old 2005 Toyota Corolla in a McDonald's parking lot and pray that nothing happens to it while we are gone. Everyone assures me it will be okay because it is in a good part of town and cars have been left there many times before with success.

Brian, being the wonderful navigator that he is, sleeps the entire ride there. This helps Mat to drive properly and get us there by 10:15. I have 45 minutes to find all the cards I need for my deck. At 10:30 I decide that it won't happen and start putting Belcher together. However, Eric tells me he's not playing IRM and lends me most of the deck. Mat loans me Su-Chi's and 3 moxen. All I need is Duplicants, which I borrow from my teammate Manuel. I hurry to put all of the cards into my new pink sleeves and ask Mat to fill out my deck registration. What a nice guy! Brian informs us he's playing the 7/10 deck that he has played all summer and which won infinite power tournaments.

So I am playing a deck that I have played with for about 45 minutes in a tournament 8 rounds long. Whatever. I tell myself that I will just play Meandeath all day long and win.

Round 1: Frank with Dragon
Game 1: I cast turn 2 man and turn 3 Ankh of Mishra. Next turn he casts Animate Dead on his Worldgorger Dragon. I call the judge over to explain how the cards interact and he dies.

Sideboard:
Out: 2 Duplicant, 2 Pillar
In: 4 Chalice

Game 2: I cast turn 1 Trinisphere. He animates a Shivan Hellkite on turn 4. It trades with a Jug and I cast Chalice of the Void for two and three. Factories beat him down.

I am sitting next to Kevin Cron (CHA1N5) and his opponent asks if he helped design Meandeck Oath. He says yes. I turn to him and say "I hate you for designing that deck." I hope he wasn't annoyed or anything. I just hate Oath

Round 2: Manuel (teammate) with 4CC
Game 1: I draw the absolute nuts against 4CC. Turn 1 Jug, turn 2,3,4 Wasteland. I feel bad for that.

Sideboard:
Out: 4 Trinisphere, 1 other card
In: Duplicant, 4 REB

Game 2: He casts turn 1 morph. I predict Willbender, but am disheartened when it is an Exalted Angel. My Su-Chi attempts to race it and is failing. I draw Duplicant and snatch a 4/5. Wait. Remember who's Duplicants I borrowed? Yeah, Manuel's. He casts Cunning Wish for Shattering Pulse and starts to hit my guys with buyback. However, he is at six life and his only source of Red is a City of Brass. My Mishra's Factory keeps coming back via Crucible of Worlds and Manuel is forced to keep Shattering it. His City of Brass kills him.

Lunch break. We go to the car and eat the delicious sandwiches Stephanie has made. I then proceed to run around to the side of Pastimes and vomit. I have no idea why. I'm not going to eat anything else today I decide. Stephanie, the doll she is, buys me a water and some mint gum. Stephanie rocks.

Round 3: JP with Oath (I hate Oath)
Game 1: I cast turn 1 Pillar. He casts turn 1 Lotus Petal, Forbidden Orchard, Oath of Druids. Great. I cast turn 2 Razormane Masticore and attempt to race. I quickly learn that his only creature in his deck is one Akroma. I proceed with the beat down until he has to block. I attack with a Juggy while he has to spend a turn Oathing to shuffle his graveyard. I end the game at two life. Razormane is hot against Oath.

Sideboard:
Out: 3 Crucible of Worlds, 2 Ankh of Mishra
In: 4 REB, 1 Duplicant

Game 2: My first turn I go Mox, Mox, Mishra's Factory, Sol Ring, Mana Vault, Pyrostatic Pillar, he Mana Leaks and I tap Vault. I cast turn 2 Juggernaut and he counters with turn 3 Oath. I Duplicant his Akroma and begin attacking. He Oaths, with the second to last card being Platinum Angel. His last card is Gaea's Blessing. He is at zero life when he casts it. He grabs 3 Force of Will. I cast Welder and he attempts to Force. I say you can't force when you have zero life and we call a judge. I am right and the Welder is in play (I have Duplicant in hand so even if he was at one life, I would've won). I weld out his Angel and I win. I hate you Oath

Round 4: Chris (eventual T8er) with Control Slaver
Game 1: I cast turn 1 Trinisphere. I then proceed to Duplicant his Goblin Welder and cast a Pyrostatic Pillar with 2 Wastelands. His Mana Crypt deals nine to him and I win.

Sideboard:
Out: 3 Ankh, 4 Trinisphere, 1 Pyrostatic Pillar
In: Duplicant, 4 REB, 3 Lava Dart

Game 2: I go turn 1 Mox, Mox, Vault, Mountain, Jugg. He forces and I REB. A few turns later I attack and he is down to nine. This is where I show my mad skill with the deck. I have four mana, including one Red, and two cards in hand. Those cards are REB and Su-Chi. He has about six mana, is tapped out, and has one card. Now I can cast Su-Chi and win next turn unless he topdecks something amazing, or I can wait an extra turn and hold a REB. Since I am the champion of Magic, I overextend and cast my man. He casts Tinker and tinks up the Pentavus. The Bus proceeds to take me to school. I hate losing to self.

Game 3: I cast turn 1 Welder. He goes Island, Mox, Black Lotus, Tinker for the Bus. I Weld the bus into the Mox, but he eventually beats me into a bloody pulp with the Bus and its passengers.

Great. I now have to win the next 4 rounds in a row because I lost to self. Oh well, might as well try. The match was still fun because we were each having a good time. "My men love me and hate you - take 5." "The Passengers jump on and off the Bus to block your guys." Very fun match.

Round 5: Daniel with Fish
Game 1: I cast turn 1 Jug. He casts Null Rod. I am beating him down while he plays 2 Wastelands. I cast Trinisphere, despite the fact that my only mana at this point is Nulled artifacts and land that can be killed. It doesn't matter because he can't stop the man.

Sideboard:
Out: 4 Trinisphere
In: 3 Lava Dart, 1 Chalice of the Void

Game 2: I mulligan and cast Mox, Mox, Factory, Crypt, Vault, Pillar. It gets forced. My Mana Crypt Lightning Bolts me six times and I lose

Game 3: The deck rains men and I win. Nothing special here

Round 6: Guy with Landstill (I lost my notes for this match)
I really don't remember much about this match. We had Crucible wars for a game. One game he cast turn 1 Disk to counter my turn 1 Welder, Crucible. It goes to game 3 and I walk away with the win.

Wow, if I win next round I can draw into the top 8. All I have to do is play my best and not do anything stupid.

Round 7: Kevin Cron with Control Slaver
Game 1: I cast turn 1 Welder and turn 2 Razormane. The beats proceed and I end with 20 life. I say "I love my men" and I see him crack a smile

Sideboard: same as last Control Slaver match

Game 2: I cast turn 1 Workshop, Lotus, Welder, Razormane. I have so much skill with this deck. I tell myself again just to not do anything stupid. I beat for 3 turns in a row and then proceed to forget to attack one turn. I am the champion of Magic. He survives an extra turn. He casts Tinker. I am thinking oh crap, the Bus is going to kill me and make me play another game for the top 8. His deck doesn't run the Bus, so he takes a Crucible, gets a land from his grave, and casts 2 Welders. I shoot one and he blocks my Razormane with another. His second extra turn I gave him he realizes he can't win. He scoops.

I must say Mr. Cron is a really nice guy. Each game we exchanged "good lucks" and he was a class act even when he lost. He was definitely the more skilled of us.

Round 8: I don't remember
He asks if I want to draw and I flip a coin. Heads we draw. Tails we don't play it out. We drew.

My friend Brian Fisher also makes the Top 8. He thanks me for forcing him to play 7/10.

Top 8: Brian Fisher with 7/10
Dude, whatever. I don't care who wins and neither does he. This is the most casual Top 8 match ever. He built my deck and playtested it. I know the entire contents of his deck. Showing each other mulligan hands, making fun of each other, making mom jokes, it all happens. At one point he asks "why can't I draw anything" to which I reply "Because you touch yourself at night!" I love Family Guy. During the match, every time I cast a Mox, I ask if it resolves. He then makes the quote of the day: "You're asking of your Mox resolves? That's like asking if you can go to the bathroom. No, you have to wet yourself." I love Fisher's quotes.

Game 1: I beat with man while he beats with self. I win.

Sideboard:
Out: 3 Ankh of Mishra, 4 Trinisphere
In: 3 Rack and Ruin, 3 Lava Dart, 1 Duplicant

Game 2: See game one, only switch the names.

Game 3: He just owns me. Nothing really exciting happens at all. He Duplicants my Juggernaut, and I dupe his Duplicant. He then Welds a Sundering Titan and Triskelion into play and beats me.

It is almost 11 and my ride wants to go home. I am notified that I can designate a person to claim my prize, I just have to write down the cards in order that I want them to be picked. I vote Mat Endress to play Electoral College for me and drive home.

When I am almost home, Mat calls to tell me I won a Mox Emerald and Brian got second. Sweet. I drive Stephanie home and then I crash.

Props:
Clown of Tresserhorn for asking to be in a props section
Team GWS for being awesome
Myself for getting 7^th place and snagging an Emerald
Stephanie for coming to the tournament and being the best girlfriend ever
Fisher for making it to the finals
Mat for building and playtesting my deck
Mat (again) for helping me with grammar and sentence structure.
Oreo cookies for being so good
Eric and Pete for driving me home
Everyone who lent me cards
Star City and Pastimes, for putting together the most organized and best tournament in the history of the world
Everyone who made Top 8
All of my opponents - I have never been to a tournament this large where ALL of my opponents were cool guys
Family Guy for being an awesome show
Everyone for not doing anything to my car
The field for being diverse. In 9 rounds I faced 8 different decks. The field is so great right now.

Slops:
People who played Oath
Tolls for being annoying
Myself for losing round 4 and almost keeping myself out of the Top 8
My stomach for not allowing me food all day
People who played Oath
Fisher for saying stupid things
Mat for crapping out with It's Raining Men
People who played Oath
Anyone who didn't come
Myself for predicting a Meandeath field
People who played Oath

Philip Schmitt
Member Team GWS-almost a legitimate Type 1 Team since 2004
Basic User on TMD
Moxlotus on SCG and TMD forums
Luck sack extraordinaire
Moxlotus62 at yahoo dot com

*Mat Endress was quoted as saying this one week before Meandeck Oath hit big.

**Here's another quote from testing and development, but I'm not sure who's guilty.

P.S. For those keeping track - 20 games played, 2 turn 1 Trinisphere (1 going first), 1 Crucible lock (on turn 4).