Order Info

Yawgmoth's Whimsy #163: Silly Wizard, Green is for Kids

Back in 2002, I wrote an article ranting about how Blue got all the good spells and abilities, and how other colors, notably Green, got shafted. My point was that Wizards considers Blue the smart or clever color – and that means that Blue gets way more than its share of abilities and color “bleeds.” Now that Planar Chaos is out, it's time to look at the data – because only data, not ranting, shows what actually happened.

Note: I was going to do some statistical breakdowns on the Extended PTQ metagame, but the decklists just aren't available as I write this. Next time. Promise.

I have the data – but I'm going to do some ranting, first.

I have some problems identifying what Green and Blue are supposed to do. I have read all the articles on the color pie, and so forth, on the flagship site. I still don't get it.

Blue is supposed to be the smart color – the color of planning and cool ideas. That apparently means that any cool idea or trick becomes Blue. It also has meant that Blue gets good creatures without significant drawbacks.

Green is supposed to be the creature color. Except, of course, that creatures with flying are not Green. And thinking creatures – those are Blue. Green is the color of Moss and Fungus and Mold. When it comes to smarts, Green tops out at dogs – but Hounds, not dogs like Lassie. Lassie would be Blue, or at least Aquamarine.

Beats me why Einstein showed up on a White card. He should be on a Blue card. Maybe that's why he looks so pissed in the picture.

Green is the color of big, dumb creatures. So what is a big, dumb creature? Dumb people have nothing in their heads but a “This Space for Rent” sign. Dumb Magic creatures have nothing in their text boxes except some flavor text.

Truly dumb creatures are becoming much less common nowadays. In Time Spiral block, Squire and Jasmine Boreal are the only completely dumb creatures. However, Durkwood Baloth comes close – Durkie is the only creature with nothing but Suspend in his text box. More tellingly, Green is the primary home of dumb creatures with drawbacks. Scarwood Treefolk is the best example of this lack of brains: nothing in its text box but a sign that says “I'z a blocker whut layz down on da job.”

Blue doesn't have anything like that. Blue creatures have text boxes that say “Flying” or “Counter target spell and get huge” or “Morph to do something useful.” I had a hard time finding any Blue creature with a significant disadvantage, or just a disadvantage of any kind, in the current Standard environment. Leviathan and Sea Monster have disadvantages, but they are throwbacks to the bad old days before WotC learned that Blue isn't like that. Well Chronozoa has a “drawback” – but I scooped to that drawback at the prerelease. Only match I lost all day.

Note – this isn't data. This is still ranting. Single or limited examples prove nothing. But I'll continue the rant with more examples. Nowadays, Green never gets anything good unless Blue gets an answer. Or multiple answers. For example:

• Green gets Ball Lightning.
  
• Blue gets Kismet.

• Green gets some exciting, albeit possibly overcosted, creatures.
  
• Blue gets Swords to Plowshares. (Pongify – think about it.)

• Green gets River Boa (although it no longer Islandwalks.)
  
• Blue gets three ways to kill regenerators. At common. In the expansion.

• Green gets a marginal card drawing spell.
  
• Blue gets a Desert Twister – Green's best removal spell ever – for half the price. [I presume Pete means Reality Acid. – Craig.]

Look at the last two: Green gets card drawing (oh! wow!), but gets a reprint of Concentrate: a card that has proven barely playable in any Constructed format. Blue gets Vindicate – a card that has prove playable in every Constructed format. Yes, it now has a time delay, but it does not require enemy colors and it even gets rid of indestructibles, like Stuffy Doll.

After watching both colors for years, I know Blue tends to get any new and interesting mechanic – and most really good creatures – pretty much automatically, unless that mechanic is tightly tied to another color. Green gets nothing but mechanics that are clearly Green, are sufficiently dumb, or have increased mana costs (3GGGG.)

Some examples: Green gets Pacifism, but with the disadvantage that the opponent can still tap the creature for any color of mana. Black, by comparison, got Thirst at cost with no drawback. Green also gets Glorious Anthem, a card that has proven itself unplayable in Constructed, even in White Weenie. Blue gets Funeral Charm, and pays just U for it despite having two options from outside its colors. Green gets a charm that does nothing that Green doesn't already do (Lay of the Land / Regrowth / Treetop Bracers & Frog Tongue), but it pays 1G.

Okay, enough ranting: let's look at some data. I dug through all the commons and uncommons in Time Spiral block and counted how often various abilities appeared. I skipped Silvers, for obvious reasons, but I tabulated all the other cards, by color. Here are my results – and I apologize for any errors. I have spent too many hours compiling and checking these lists, but I probably missed something.

“Trad.” means Traditional – or the part of the color pie where Wizards now says the ability should fall. A “3” means that the color has that ability on three cards. The “0.5” entries generally refer to very limited versions of the effect. For example, Pendelhaven Elder pumps just your 1/1 creatures, not all your creatures, and Aspect of Mongoose makes a targetable creature untargettable, provided it actually resolves. They are both o.5s.

Planar Chaos Spells and Abilities - Common

Ability	Trad.	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Direct Damage	R	1	-	1	1	-
Direct damage — 1 pt. only	UR	-	-	1	1	-
Global damage	R	-	-	-	-	-
Card drawing spell	U	-	1	-	-	-
Creatures that draw cards	UG	-	-	-	-	1
Non-creature Cantrip	ALL	-	-	-	-	-
Situational counter	U	2	-	1	-	-
Hard counter	U	-	-	-	-	-
Tap target creature	U	-	-	2	-	-
Pacifism / Dehydration	WU	-	-	1	-	1
Destroy target creature	B	-	-	1	-	-
Give creature ±x/-1	RB	-	1	-	-	-
Give creature ±/-2 or more	B	-	2	-	-	-
Bounce creature	U	-	-	-	2	-
Destroy artifact / enchantment	G	-	-	-	-	1
Destroy any target permanent	GOLD	-	1	-	-	-
Combat trick — pump spell	G	-	-	-	1	-
Combat trick — global pump	W	1	-	-	-	-
Combat trick — other	VARIES	1	1	2	-	1
Combat trick — falter	R	-	1	-	-	-
Regeneration	GB	2	-	-	-	1
Flying	UBW	1	3	-	-	2
Morph	ALL	-	-	-	-	-
Trample	URG	-	-	-	-	-
Double Strike / First Strike	WR	-	1	-	1	-
Fear / Unblockable	UB	-	-	-	1	-
Flanking	UWRB	1	-	-	-	-
Haste	R	-	-	-	-	1
Shadow	UWB	-	-	-	-	-
Untargetable	UG	-	-	1	-	-
Can block creatures w/ flying	G	-	-	-	-	-
Creature / token spawning	G	1	-	-	-	1
Discard	B	-	2	-	-	-
Lifegain	GW	1	-	1	-	2
Fog	GW	1	-	-	-	-
Land Search / Harrow	G	-	1	-	-	1
Raise Dead / Gravedigger	B	-	-	-	-	1

Ability	Trad.	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Direct Damage	R	-	-	-	1	-
Direct damage — 1 pt. only	UR	-	-	1	-	-
Global damage	R	-	-	-	2	-
Card drawing spell	U	-	-	-	2	-
Creatures that draw cards	UG	-	-	-	-	1
Non-creature Cantrip	ALL	-	-	-	-	-
Situational counter	U	1	-	-	-	-
Hard counter	U	-	1	-	-	-
Redirect spell or ability	UR	-	-	1	-	-
Tap target creature	U	-	1	-	-	1
Pacifism / Dehydration	WU	-	-	-	-	-
Destroy target creature	B	-	1	1	1	-
Give creature ±x/-1	RB	1	-	-	-	-
Bounce creature	U	-	-	-	1	-
Destroy artifact / enchantment	G	-	-	-	-	-
Destroy any target permanent	GOLD	1	-	-	-	-
Gain control of creature	UR	-	-	2	-	-
Combat trick — pump spell	G	1	-	-	-	-
Combat trick — global pump	W	-	-	-	-	-
Combat trick — other	VARIES	-	2	1	-	-
Combat trick — falter	R	-	1	-	-	-
Regeneration	GB	1	-	-	-	1
Flying	UBW	3	1	-	-	-
Morph	ALL	-	1	-	-	-
Trample	URG	-	-	-	1	1
Double Strike / First Strike	WR	-	1	-	2	-
Fear / Unblockable	UB	-	-	-	-	-
Flanking	UWRB	1	-	-	-	-
Haste	R	-	-	-	-	1
Shadow	UWB	-	1	-	-	-
Untargetable	UG	1	-	-	-	-
Can block creatures w/ flying	G	1	-	-	-	1
Thallid / creature spawning	G	1	-	-	-	1
Discard	B	-	2	-	-	1
Lifegain	GW	1	-	-	-	1
Land Search / Harrow	G	-	-	-	-	1
Raise Dead / Gravedigger	B	-	-	1	-	1

Ability	Trad.	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Direct Damage	R	-	-	2	5	-
Direct damage — 1 pt. only	UR	2	-	-	-	-
Global damage	R	-	-	-	1	-
Card drawing spell	U	-	3	-	-	-
Creatures that draw cards	UG	-	2	-	-	1
Non-creature Cantrip	ALL	1	2	-	-	-
Situational counter	U	-	1	-	-	-
Hard counter	U	-	1	-	-	-
Remove creature from game	W	1	-	-	-	-
Tap target creature	U	1	1	-	-	-
Pacifism / Dehydration	WU	1	1	-	-	-
Destroy target creature	B	-	-	3	-	-
Give creature ±x/-1	RB	-	-	2	1	-
Bounce creature	U	-	2	-	-	-
Destroy artifact / enchantment	G	1	-	-	2	1
Combat trick — pump spell	G	1	-	-	3	4
Combat trick — global pump	W	-	-	-	-	-
Combat trick — other	VARIES	2	3	2	2	1
Regeneration	GB	-	-	1	-	-
Flying	UBW	3	4	-	-	-
Morph	ALL	-	4	-	-	-
Trample	URG	-	-	-	-	2
Double Strike / First Strike	WR	-	-	-	1	-
Fear / Unblockable	UB	1	-	1	-	-
Flanking	UWRB	1	-	1	1	-
Haste	R	-	-	-	-	-
Shadow	UWB	1	2	1	-	-
Untargetable	UG	-	-	-	-	-
Can block creatures w/ flying	G	-	-	-	-	2
Thallid / creature spawning	G	1	-	1	2	4
Discard	B	-	-	2	-	-
Lifegain	GW	3	-	2	-	-
Fog	GW	-	-	-	-	1
Land Search / Harrow	G	-	-	-	-	3
Raise Dead / Gravedigger	B	-	-	2	-	-

Ability	Trad.	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Direct Damage	R	-	-	-	4	0.5
Direct damage — 1 pt. only	UR	-	1	1	1	-
Global damage	R	-	-	-	1	-
Card drawing spell	U	-	2	-	-	-
Situational counter	U	-	-	-	-	-
Hard counter	U	-	2	-	-	-
Remove creature from game	W	-	-	0.5	-	-
Tap target creature	U	1	-	-	-	-
Destroy target creature	B	-	-	2	-	-
Give creature ±x/-1	RB	-	-	-	-	-
Give creature ±/-2 or more	B	-	-	2	-	-
Bounce creature	U	-	1	-	-	-
Bounce Permanent	U	-	1	-	-	-
Destroy artifact / enchantment	WRG	1	-	-	-	1
Gain control of creature	UR	-	1	-	-	-
Combat trick — pump spell	G	-	-	0.5	-	1
Combat trick — global pump	W	1	-	-	-	1.5
Combat trick — other	VARIES	1	1	-	-	1
Combat trick — falter	R	-	-	-	-	-
Regeneration	GB	1	-	-	-	-
Flying	UBW	4	3	0.5	1	1
Morph	ALL	1	-	-	-	-
Trample	URG	-	-	-	1	1
Double Strike / First Strike	WR	-	-	-	-	-
Fear / Unblockable	UB	-	-	1	-	-
Flanking	UWRB	4	-	-	-	-
Haste	R	-	-	-	-	-
Shadow	UWB	-	-	1	-	-
Untargetable	UG	-	-	-	-	0.5
Discard	B	-	-	2	0.5	-
Lifegain	GW	1	-	-	-	-
Land Search / Harrow	G	-	-	-	-	1
Raise Dead / Gravedigger	B	-	1	1	-	-

Summation: All Time Spiral Block Spells and Abilities - Commons & Uncommons

Ability	Trad.	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Direct Damage	R	1	-	3	10	0.5
Direct damage — 1 pt. only	UR	2	1	2	1	-
Global damage	R	-	-	-	4	-
Card drawing spell	U	-	6	-	-	2
Creatures that draw cards	UG	-	-	-	-	3
Non-creature Cantrip	ALL	1	2	-	-	-
Situational counter	U	3	1	1	-	-
Hard counter	U	-	3	-	-	-
Redirect spell or ability	R	-	-	1	-	-
Remove creature from game	W	1	-	0.5	-	-
Tap target creature	U	2	2	2	-	1
Pacifism / Dehydration	WU	1	1	1	-	1
Destroy target creature	B	-	1	7	1	-
Give creature ±x/-1	RB	1	1	2	1	-
Give creature ±/-2 or more	B	-	2	2	-	-
Bounce creature	U	-	3	-	3	-
Bounce permanent	U	-	1	-	-	-
Destroy artifact / enchantment	WRG	2	-	-	2	3
Destroy any target permanent	GOLD	1	1	-	-	-
Gain control of creature	UR	-	1	2	-	-
Combat trick — pump spell	G	2	-	0.5	4	5
Combat trick — global pump	W	2	-	-	-	1.5
Combat trick — other	VARIES	4	7	5	2	3
Combat trick — falter	R	-	2	-	-	-
Regeneration	GB	4	-	1	-	2
Flying	UBW	11	11	0.5	1	3
Morph	ALL	-	5	-	-	-
Trample	URG	-	-	-	1	4
Double Strike / First Strike	WR	-	2	-	4	-
Fear / Unblockable	UB	1	-	2	1	-
Flanking	UWRB	7	-	1	1	-
Haste	R	-	-	-	-	2
Shadow	UWB	1	3	2	-	-
Untargetable	UG	1	-	1	-	0.5
Can block creatures w/ flying	G	*	*	-	1	2
Thallid / creature spawning	G	3	-	1	2	6
Discard	B	-	4	4	0.5	1
Lifegain	GW	6	-	3	-	3
Fog	GW	1	-	-	-	1
Land Search / Harrow	G	-	1	-	-	3
Raise Dead / Gravedigger	B	-	1	4	-	2

Let's look at Green for a moment.

Green

Effects that are significantly out of color / not done:

Non-creature card drawing
Tap / Backlash creature
Pacifism (albeit really bad outside of Limited)
Flying
Haste
Discard (albeit too expensive)

Green also has the Gravedigger ability, but that is just a more limited form of a Green ability. Remember Regrowth, Recollect, Eternal Witness and so forth?

Cards outside of the color pie, as we know it: 10

Abilities Green does not have, on above table: 20

Total of all cards / abilities in the Green column, above: 50.5

White

Total of all cards / abilities in the Green column, above: 50.5

Effects that are significantly out of color / not done:

Regeneration
Direct damage
Situational counterspells
Giving a creature ±x/-1
Destroy target permanent
Fear
Untargetability

The White one damage ability – pinging an attacker - is not outside White's pie. Crossbow Infantry does it all the time. Strafe, on the other hand, is not a White card.

Cards outside of the color pie, as we know it: 12

Abilities white does not have, on above table: 18

Total of all cards / abilities in the White column, above: 58

Blue

Effects that are significantly out of color / not done:

Prodigal sorcerer effects – supposedly no longer Blue
Targeted creature removal (Terror and ±x/-1 and ±x/-x)
Destroy target permanent (not bounce – destroy)
Falter / prevent (untapped) creatures from blocking
First Strike / Double Strike
Discard
Land Search / Mana Fixing
Raise Dead

Blue also gets a lot of combat tricks, which are sort of outside Blue's area of expertise, expect that Blue's pie includes everything any other color isn't doing, so reversing power and toughness becomes Blue by default.

Cards outside of the color pie, as we know it: 16 (23 if you count combat tricks)

Abilities Blue does not have, on above table: 18

Total of all cards / abilities in the Blue column, above: 62

Black

Effects that are significantly out of color / not done:

Situational counterspell
Redirect spell / ability
Remove target creature from the game
Tap target creature
Dehydration
Gain control of target creature
Untargettable creature

Cards outside of the color pie, as we know it: 9

Abilities Black does not have, on above table: 18

Total of all cards / abilities in the Black column, above: 49.5

Red

Effects that are significantly out of color / not done:

Destroy (not burn) target creature
Bounce target creature
Combat trick (e.g. Giant Growth)
Fear
Can block creatures with flying

Cards outside of the color pie, as we know it: 10.5

Abilities Red does not have, on above table: 24

Total of all cards / abilities in the Red column, above: 39.5

So what does this all mean? Let's summarize:

-	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Cards outside the pie	12	16	9	10.5	10
Missing abilities	18	18	18	24	20
Total abilities	58	62	49.5	39.5	50.5

Red mages probably have the most right to complain, but I will leave that to Dan Paskins. Green mages have some right to complain, however. While Green does get some good stuff (Harmonize isn't a green Tidings, but it isn't garbage by any means), it also gets a lot of stuff that is really expensive or underpowered. Cards like Ana Battlemage (Fugue and a bear for 5UG?) and will never make Constructed, except in some strange sideboard role, and that closer to playable than almost all of Green's non-hasty cards.

Blue, of course got more abilities, and better abilities. Blue's 62 abilities don't include a lot of marginal stuff, like life gain or Fog. Other colors do that stuff. Let's look at the abilities that really matter.

-	White	Blue	Black	Red	Green
Cards drawing	1	8	-	-	5
Removal (all types)	7	13	23.5	20	2
Counters	3	4	1		-
Discard	-	4	4	0.5	1
Good evasion*	14	14	4.5	2	3
Combat tricks	8	9	5.5	4	9.5
Total	33	52	38.5	26.5	20.5

* I do not consider Trample to be serious evasion – it is sort of “evasion lite.” Evasion means that, if your opponent has a Grizzly Bear out, an evasive creature can swing and connect, and that the Grizzly Bear can't kill the attacker. Trample means that the creature can partly connect, and that enough Grizzly Bears can kill a Trampling attacker. Evasion lite. Good evasion means Flying, Fear, Unblockable, Shadow or even Horsemanship – not Trample.

The numbers tell the tale – every other color is just better than Green. Even if you throw in rares, Green has very little to recommend it.

Yes, I know that Mono-Green Aggro is really good in Standard right now. However, that deck relies on evasive creatures (like Silhana Ledgewalker and Scryb Sprite), good pump (e.g. Moldervine Cloak) and – especially – untargettable creatures (once again, Silhana Ledgewalker.) While Scryb Sprites is from Time Spiral, Time Spiral block is light on untargettable Green creatures – and I have already discussed the Blue removal.

What does Green stand for?

I have a problem understanding what Green's role in Magic is nowadays. According to Wizards, Green is supposed to be about “growing things,” “enforcing nature,” “creatures” and – I have no idea.

“Growing things” used to mean token generation and pump spells. Maybe – but the best token generators are White cards that make Soldiers and Red cards that make Goblins. Even artifacts, lands, and Sengir Autocrats now pump out tokens. Green gets some reprint elephants, and Jedit pumps out cats – but this is not a just a Green ability. Likewise, the ability to give your creatures a power or toughness boost, at instant speed, is no longer just a Green ability. Now even Blue can do it.

Green does get Stonewood Invocation in the set – but Blue gets ways to kill the target or redirect the Invocation while it is on the stack. (Willbender redirects and Shaper Parasite can kill the target.)

Green was also supposed to be the expert at color fixing and mana acceleration. However, the days of Wild Growth, Fertile Growth, and Birds of Paradise are gone. Today, Green still has some Rampant Growth effects, but every color gets mana fixing and acceleration through cards like Terramorphic Expanse, Prismatic Lens, and the Totems. Green still has some land search creatures, like Greenseeker, but so do Blue (Dreamscape Artist) and White (Weathered Wayfarer.)

Which brings us to creatures. Green is supposed to be the creature color. However, whenever Green gets a creature, it is limited to one – two at most – good abilities and either a high casting cost or a significant disadvantage. Green's big name creatures, right now, are Spectral Force, Timbermare, and Groundbreaker. Spectral Force has the doesn't untap thing. Timbermare has a whopping big echo cost. Groundbreaker dies at end of turn, as well as folding to Darkblast.

Other colors' flagship and marquee creatures have multiple positive abilities – and no disadvantages. Look at Akroma, Crovax Ascendant, Teferi, Draining Whelk, Stronghold Overseer, Redkroma, and Bogardan Hellkite. About the only creatures with drawbacks are Plague Sliver (where the disadvantage was designed to hose slivers) and Chronozoa – although getting double your creatures every couple turns is not really a big drawback.

Devin Low (of WotC R&D) once wrote about how Wizards is going to make Green's regeneration ability matter. It does. It isn't that regeneration is going to be useful to Green. Green gets Mire Boa. White can neutralize it with Pacifism effects, or remove it with Gaze of Justice. Blue can counter it or bounce it or steal it or kill it (Piracy Charm, Reality, Acid or Shaper Parasite.) Black can kill it or steal it (Enslave) or neutralize it (Melancholy.) Red can Disintegrate it – and can Incinerate it starting this summer. No, regeneration matters because a Drudge Skeleton (or White's equivalent: Revered Dead) completely stops a Timbermare or Verdant Force – or any other Green non-trampler. You see, alone among the colors, Green has no way of dealing with regenerators.

No, I lie, Green can turn it into a Birds of Paradise with Utopia Vow.

Isn't that a dumb idea?

Green doesn't get a monopoly on mana fixing. It doesn't get a monopoly on – or even a oversized share of the market for – pump spells and combat tricks. It doesn't get clever creatures. It doesn't get the biggest creatures (of the 26 Time Spiral block creatures with a power of 6 or better, only 7 are Green, and only 4 are mono-Green.) Green doesn't get removal or bounce or counters – and it only gets a token amount of card drawing.

Green really doesn't get much of anything.

Green's just dumb.

PRJ

Pete {dot} Jahn {at} Verizon {dot} net
“one million words” on MTGO