So I gave the stranger $10 and in response, he hugged me. Glad I made someone's day.

Oh wait, that's the end of the story - perhaps I should start at the beginning.

It was a week before the South Regional Spectacular, and I still wasn't sure what to play. Oh, there were plenty of ideas on the net; after all, that's why Al Gore created it for us. But I pride myself in building decks that reflect my individuality - you know, a mediocre, overrated pile that generates a few laughs and provides pages of delight for my readers.

Still, I was determined to make something, anything that deviated from the"Big Three" decks we've read so much about over the past few months. It seems that they are everywhere, including places your wouldn't normally consider havens for Magic.

(Shift to a monastery in the Alps. The priests are kneeling on the floor and chanting)

I had narrowed the search to three different deck types. Elves, Land Destruction, and (ahem) Blue/Green Threshold.

"Ya dadburned fool! What kinda rogue fool like you plays a neh-tah deck at Regionals?"

Oh, that was just my"Magic Conscience." He's a bit miffed that I would actually consider running blue/green. But you have to admit that it's a pretty good choice:

4 Basking Rootwalla
4 Nimble Mongoose
4 Wild Mongrel
4 Aquamoeba
4 Werebear
3 Wonder
4 Breakthrough
4 Circular Logic
4 Deep Analysis
3 Roar of the Wurm
12 Islands
8 Forest
2 Centaur Garden

Sideboard:
4 Envelop
4 Naturalize
4 Compost
3 Tranquility

This is based on Nate Heiss's deck from his recent Magic Online series,"Building on a Budget." Nate didn't provide a sideboard, so I took the liberty of making one. Since the worst matchup is Slide, I figure that seven enchantment killers were needed.

Well, it's fifteen more cards than Nate suggested for his sideboard - so nyah!

It tested out solid enough, although it was tempting to replace Roars with Grizzly Fate. Problem is, Fate is vulnerable to Pyroclasm and other low cost, mass-removal spells that Roars can ignore.

But heck, I just couldn't play it. This is Regionals. Where everyone, his dog, and the fleas on his dog have played, faced, and cursed the name of blue/green a million times.

Elves are another matter. Armed with Wellwisher and Hurricane, an Elf deck just rips blue/green a new one. And not a nice new one, either. Problem is, any opponent sporting a board sweeper - like, I don't know, Wrath of God or Earthquake or something - is going to have one fine day against the Elf bunch.

With that in mind, I kept looking high and low for a decent deck. I even played a variant of Chris Romeo's choice for Regionals at my last Friday Night appearance. As for the results, let's just say that Chris and I are still on speaking terms, since he can probably hear me swearing at him from this far away.

I'm just kidding Chris, really I am. Yeah, I'll admit that I love reading your articles, but I'm certainly not your number one fan* or anything.

I finally settled on a deck that you wouldn't see at Regionals - or so Abe Sargent and perhaps The Ferrett would have you believe.

It wouldn't be me, however, unless I modified it a bit.

Abetastic LD
4 Stone Rain
4 Pillage
4 Rancid Earth
3 Befoul
3 Firebolt
4 Innocent Blood
4 Chainer's Edict
2 Earthquake
2 Lightning Surge
2 Mutilate
3 Magnivore
1 Guiltfeeder
12 Swamp
10 Mountain
2 Tainted Peak

Sideboard:
4 Duress
4 Flaring Pain
4 Smother
3 Price of Glory

Post-Action Note: With fifteen minutes left before we turned our decklist in, Mutilate was not in the deck. A couple of my Tulsa Magic brethren, Cameron Cox and Robert Mitchell, looked it over and made about a dozen suggestions. As it so happens, I was carrying a couple of Mutilates and they went in, taking out one Earthquake and one Firebolt. This did make a difference.

As you can see, I don't care for Wishing for stuff. Whether that's personal preference or just the fact that I don't have any Burning Wishes is up to you to decide.

I've simplified the mana base considerably. And interestingly enough, I've been able to draw the kind of land I need, despite having double-black and double-red spells in my deck.

The premise behind Abetastic is easy enough: LD spells to keep the land count down. Firebolt, Edict, Blood, and Befoul away any threats. Then Lightning Surge, Guiltfeeder, and the mighty fine Maggie to finish off my opponent. This is LD control, the kind that puts the hurt on any deck out there... If I get a good opening draw. Problem is, I can draw the wrong card for the current game situation. LD when I need critter kill and critter kill when I need LD. But when it comes together, it works like a charm.

Rather than give you a card-by-card breakdown, I'll discuss one of the decisions that I had to make in building this deck.

Befoul over Earth Rift: The Rift gets you two, two, two lands with one card! Befoul however, has the advantage of targeting the critters that your Bloods 'n' Edicts may not catch. I know Abe likes da Rift, but with my reliance on swamps, I think Befoul is a better fit.

The sideboard was tough after the obvious choices of Duress and Flaring Pain. Smother was brought in for additional critter kill. Being an instant helps. And, after much consternation, I added Price of Glory. Why? For those times when I absolutely, positively have no frickin' idea what else to put in. Besides, it's good against control.

Potential problem matchups? Well, 'Tog is no joyride, not to mention anything that gets off to a fast start and doesn't need a lot of land.

Someday, I hope to trade in this ol' codger of a"Magic Conscience" for a younger, sprite-ish model. You know, the kind that Ted Knutson likes to show off in some of his articles.

Only with some more meat on their bones.

Not too much, mind you.

The Trip
In honor of my inaugural trip to Dallas last year, I decide to once again wake up at four in the morning and drive the two hundred and fifty miles to the site. I suffered few effects 'cause I hit the sack early. Compared to the condition of my fellow players who stayed up 'till four in the morning, I was in much better shape. Take it from the old man, getting plenty of sleep is a good thing.

The Arrival
Four hundred and forty-nine Magic fanatics crammed themselves into the plush Raddison Hotel main ballroom. Those who couldn't fit were regulated to the main hall where extra tables had been set up. Our head judge, whose known for some reason as"The Mad Hatter" (even though he didn't wear a hat, nor was he chasing a small blond girl around Wonderland), told us that we were in for ten beautiful rounds of conflict.

Yippee.

Both my Tulsa and Muskogee Magic pards (whom I made the centerpiece of two"Rougher Country" articles) are here and we gab for quite a while, since the tourney didn't begin until about 10:45 a.m.

Special Note: I did take pictures of the event; however, the type of film I used is apparently so obscure that my local photo shop could not develop them. So I apologize to all those who were promised a after-match photo. Hopefully, I will find a place that can do the work soon. (No you won't - The Ferrett, who's utterly swamped and is not going back for this stuff)

Let's get to the action.

Match One
Opponent: Matthew Massenburg
Deck Type: Red/Green Beats
Type of Guy: From Dallas, he tells me he owns a store (I'm guessing a game or comic store; for some reason I didn't get the specifics) - and from the crowd he keeps, I'd say he has plenty of patrons.

Matt is a big fellow who took to calling me"Hoss" during the match. Now, I don't know how much I look like Dan Blocker from"Bonanza," but I believe that this is a positive thing.

Game One
Both of us mulligan to six. I begin the festivities by Stone Raining his mountain. Matt's response?"You're playing Land Destruction? I didn't expect that!" His dismay didn't last long, as I was stuck on one swamp, unable to play Rancid Earth or Befoul.

Matt takes advantage of the situation by playing a Call of the Herd and gets in three hits until I draw an Innocent Blood. I take care of the flashbacked Call with a Befoul. I run out of LD spells at this point and Matt gets a couple of mountains into play. He now tries to burn me out with Firebolt and Volcanic Hammer to the dome.

I'm sitting at five life when my Guiltfeeder decides to show up. Poor Matt has to take ten damage from the first swing before bumping it off with two more Firebolts. In a nice turn of events for me, I start drawing some more LD spells and I manage to Pillage and Stone Rain away his mountains. Matt is sitting there with one forest and two Birds of Paradise when I play Rancid Earth at threshold. Bye, bye Birdies - and bye, bye Matt as I finish him off with a nine-point Earthquake.

Sideboard
- 2 Earthquake
- 1 Befoul
- 1 Rancid Earth
+ 4 Smother

Now, I know what you're thinking: Why side out the spell that won me the last game? My reasoning is that Matt's deck is fast enough to make Earthquake dangerous, since my life total will probably be less than his. So I go for more critter kill spells and hope that I can draw a Maggie or Lightning Surge to finish him off.

Game Two
Feeling nostalgic, we both mulligan to six again. This time, Matt gets out a Wild Mongrel and decides to slap an Elephant Guide on top. He gets one hit in for five before I Innocent Blood away the Mongrel, leaving an elephant token. With that threat still on the board, I play my first Magnivore... And this little honey comes in at 6/6. I get in two hits while Matt Firebolts me to the dome and sends the elephants in.

Since I'm down to ten life, I cast a Lightning Surge to the dome, bringing Matt down to two life and bucking up Maggie to 7/7. Now Matt gets a little cute and Threatens my favorite critter and gets in one big bash to bring me down to three. Not satisfied, he sends a Firebolt to my dome so that I'm sitting at one life.

Now here's where it gets a little weird: Matt uses Krosan Reclamation to put the Threaten and another sorcery back into his library, bringing Maggie down to a 5/5. He then casts Phantom Centaur and a Birds of Paradise. Along with his Elephant token, I'm pretty much dead the next turn unless I can topdeck a miracle. I have only six land out, so I cannot flashback the Lightning Surge. I need a Firebolt or another Lightning Surge, something to win this game.

I pull Mutilate.

I have four Swamps in play.

I grin.

Cast Mutilate for four, eliminating all his creatures and bringing Magnivore down to 1/1 this turn... Well, until the Mutilate goes into my graveyard. Making Maggie a 2/2.

Swing, win.

Matt can't believe it, but he takes the loss in stride. He shakes my hand and congratulates me on two fine games (my luck notwithstanding). For the rest of the day, he checks in with me to see what my record is.

Say, I think I made a new friend today!

Games: 2 - 0
Matches: 1 - 0

I regal both the Muskogee and Tulsa contingent on my Mutilate/Maggie play and get lots of astonished looks. I also make it a point to track down Cameron and Robert to shake their hands and promise them a couple of booster packs if I manage to win the tournament (wink).

Match Two
Opponent: Lawrence Wheeler
Deck Type: Mono Black Control
Type of Guy: One of the Muskogee bunch. He has a nickname so vile that that it cannot be printed here.

Lawrence has heard about my deck and is not thrilled to play me. Oh well; those are the breaks.

Game One
I draw what may be the perfect hand. Two lands, one Maggie, and four LD spells. Lawrence is none too happy about this, and I draw another land and proceed to play ten LD spells in a row, interrupted only by a Maggie who does four to the dome before meeting its maker, courtesy of Chainer's Edict.

Otherwise, most of the game went like this; Lawrence would play a land and I would destroy it. Lather, rinse, repeat. I get out another Maggie to do ten to his dome before it dies to a Edict. I play and flashback a Firebolt, getting him down to two life when something funny happened: I ran out of LD spells. No fool himself, Lawrence manages to get six swamps into play and casts Corrupt, bringing him up to eight life. He's holding another Corrupt when another funny thing happens: I cast Earthquake for nine.

Lawrence does not share my sense of humor, but smiles and sideboards for the next game.

Sideboard
- 4 Innocent Blood
+ 4 Duress

Game Two
I have to mulligan to six and get to witness an Undead Gladiator hit Lawrence's side of the board. He does three to me before going to the graveyard. I respond with a Firebolt to the dome and start destroying swamps again. Lawrence is stuck with a full hand, but cannot cast much. I get a Maggie out at 9/9 and swing, bringing him down to nine life. He kills it with an Innocent Blood, but I destroy his last swamp and get out Guiltfeeder. Lawrence's next draw is not a swamp and he extends his hand.

Games: 4 - 0
Matches: 2 - 0

We shake hands and celebrate with the rest of the"Rougher Country Bunch" by playing our favorite carnival game,"Drop a Buck, Win a Crap Rare." For those of you non-carnival folk, in the main hall is a cardboard barrel full of rare cards. You pay a dollar and draw blind for a card. Everyone gets a decent or at least a recognizable spell, but I pull Mana Clash. The guy taking my dollar responds with an almost honest-sounding,"Oooh, that's cool."

Cool? Mana Clash wouldn't be cool if it was frozen solid.

Oh well; I'm still 2 and 0.

Match Three
Opponent: Manuel (sorry, didn't get his last name)
Deck Type: G/R/W Beat Your #ss Silly!
Type of Guy: A real pleasant, honest fellow with a calm demeanor. In other words, I'm doomed.

Game One
Manuel wins the die roll and goes first, while I begin what seems like a new tradition and mulligan to six. He fetchlands a mountain, then gets out Phantom Centaur, which puts five points of hurt to my dome before I manage to Blood it away.

My draws of LD are lacking, but I do get a Guiltfeeder on the table. Apparently, Manuel has no immediate way of dealing with it. It strikes once for four, then again for five when a Ravenous Baloth shows up on his side of the board, doing four to my dome, along with another Phantom Centaur. I'm forced to Mutilate, which Manuel uses to sac his Baloth and bring his life total back up to fourteen. And to show that there's no hard feelings, he plants a Wild Mongrel and yet another Centaur on the table.

I respond by conceding.

Sideboard
- 2 Earthquake
- 1 Befoul
- 1 Rancid Earth
+ 4 Smother

Game Two
In a change of pace, I mulligan to five and keep a one-land hand. The only reason it takes Manuel four turns to play a Phantom Centaur is because I managed to Blood his Bird of Paradise on turn two. His Centaur, now armed with an Elephant Guide, swings to my dome twice putting me a four life. I manage to draw yet another Blood, but the Elephant token stays.

He swings once, he swings twice, and Manuel is now 3 and 0 for the tournament.

"That is some deck." I said admiringly and with real honesty,"I feel sorry for whoever gets in your way."

Games: 4 - 2
Matches: 2 - 1

Two Hours Into The Future: I ran into Manuel after the fifth round at one of the dealer's tables. He was looking a little despondent and told me that his"great deck" didn't exactly live up to the statement I had made earlier. Oh well; so much for my predicting powers.

Match Four
Opponent: Kenneth Jowars
Deck Type: U/G Madness
Kind of Guy: A young, go-getter with the look of"I got screwed last round, now it's time to get serious."

I've tested my deck the most against U/G Madness, but Kenneth's is pretty tight. Funny that I saw a lot of R/G Beats when I first started the tournament. After three rounds, I'm seeing a lot more U/G.

Go figure.

Game One
Kenneth decides to do the honors and mulligan to six. I decide to break that trend and keep my opening hand. Too bad it didn't do me any good as a Wild Mongrel hits the table early and proceeds to nip away. I try to deny him some Islands, courtesy of Rancid Earth, but that was going nowhere as he countered with Circular Logic.

Not satisfied with just one Mongrel, Kenneth casts another and adds Arrogant Wurm. My life total goes like this: Eighteen, thirteen, five, zip.

Well, that was quick. If the second game goes like this, I'll have enough time to drive around Dallas and maybe visit Ft. Worth before the next round begins.

Sideboard
- 4 Stone Rain
- 4 Rancid Earth
- 3 Befoul
+ 4 Smother
+ 4 Duress
+ 3 Price of Glory

Game Two
This time Kenneth's draw is not so good, as he can only plant a Basking Rootwalla. I bide my time and let him nip me twice for four damage total before hitting the table with Guiltfeeder. Unfortunately for Kenneth, he's somewhat manascrewed, and not even a Deep Analysis can solve his problem. Plus, filling his graveyard like that isn't going to help him against the 'Feeder. After taking three for casting Deep Analysis from his graveyard, he takes seven, six, then seven more. Needless to say, he's out of time and out of life.

Hey, I just might get out of this one.

Game Three
Kenneth mulligans to six, but it doesn't look good for him. After taking three from - you guessed it - casting Analysis from the grave, he takes six more from my Lightning Surge at threshold. I keep his threats at bay with Edicts, Smothers, and Bloods. He does manage to cast an Aquamoeba and bring an Arrogant Wurm with him. Two attacks bring my life total down to ten.

I flashback the Surge, then hit him twice with Firebolt to bring his life total to one. All I need to do next turn is flashback another Firebolt to finish him off.

But in replacing most of my LD spells, Kenneth has built up sufficient land to cast the only thing that could save him: Upheaval.

Man, I hate that card.

Now it's a race, since Kenneth plants an Aquamoeba, who hits me next turn for three, bringing my life total down to seven. I get three lands into play and draw Maggie. One more turn and I have him.

But of course, at the end of my turn he discards and casts Arrogant Wurm. And before I can say"...the hell?", I take seven damage and lose the game.

Kenneth's relieved and I'm pretty frustrated. Man oh man oh man.

He tells me what a great game that was and he'll probably never forget it. Well, that's one thing we'll have in common, besides sharing the same name.

Games: 5 - 4
Matches: 2 - 2

This is pretty depressing. After a pretty nifty start, I seem to be falling back into the pack. Oh well, there's always the next game.

Match Five
Opponent: Kent (I never got his last name)
Deck Type: Unknown
Type of Guy: Unknown

Why? Well, that's a good question; let me explain.

Kent and I had been seated for the next match, shuffled up, and were just getting ready to play when a judge pops by and says we are being re-seated.

"Oh really? What did I do?"

Apparently, both Kent and I were innocent. It seems that in the previous match, two other players filled out their slip wrong. After a few minutes of haggling, the judges picked us out to play them. I graciously left Kent sitting there and went to the judges' table to meet my new opponent.

He was a friendly sort and didn't mind at all where we sat. So I took him out to the main hall and found a real spacious area at the end of one of the tables. We sat down and started shuffling.

Match Five II: Electric Boogaloo
Opponent: Michael Dickerson
Deck Type: U/G Madness (oh beautiful)
Type of Guy: A nice person who seemed just happy to be here.

Game One
This game was truly bizarre. I drew a lot of burn, which I showed Michael by Firebolting him on the first turn (lesson learned from the last game: Against U/G, burn while you can). He responds by playing a Basking Rootwalla and it gets in for three. I Blood away the lizard, so he responds by casting Wild Mongrel and Arrogant Wurm.

Hmm. I wonder where I've seen this before?

That combo never gets going as I Edict and Blood away both threats, only going down to fourteen life. Meanwhile, I cast a Lightning Surge (at threshold, thank you), the recast it from the grave, bringing his life total down to six. To add insult to injury, I cast then flashback a Firebolt and poor Michael is only two points away from the grim reaper.

Then life as I know it stopped making sense.

Michael, desperate for any offense, hard-cast a Wonder and starts plinking away. No problem, I thought, surely I'll draw the spell that will end this game.

And I didn't.

For six turns, all I draw is land. Not one burn, kill, or creature spell; not one frickin' thing that will help me out of this situation. The Wonder lives and I scoop up for the next game.

(Insert fist going through wall here)

Sideboard
- 4 Stone Rain
- 4 Rancid Earth
- 2 Earthquake
+ 3 Duress
+ 3 Price of Glory
+ 4 Smother

I don't really know why I took out the quakes, 'cept maybe because I didn't think it would do much good against fliers. Oh well.

Game Two
This is no contest, as Michael reveals that he's not as familiar with the subtler points of the game. I go first and cast Duress. He reveals his hand full of creatures, one Quiet Speculation, and one forest. Yup, Michael kept a one-land hand against me - a guy playing a land destruction deck. I take the Spec and proceed to build up my land. Unfortunately for Michael, whatever land he plays is quickly Pillaged away and pretty soon I have a Guiltfeeder on the board. He swings three times and we're off to the third game.

Game Three
Michael mulligans to six, but goes first and plays a Rootwalla. He lasts precisely two turns and gets three damage in before I kill it with a Smother. Now it's my turn to be cruel as I Firebolt, then Lightning Surge with threshold twice (flashback) to bring his life total to six. In the meantime, I manage to get a Price of Glory on the table. Michael picks it up and reads the text.

Unfortunately, I don't really think he understands the card as two turns later I try to Befoul his only Island. His response? Hard-casting a Circular Logic. I calmly tell him that his Island and two forests have met their maker. He picks up the Price again and now he realizes what he's done.

The rest of the game is goes quickly as I Firebolt him once, twice, and draw and cast another one for the win.

Games: 7 - 4
Matches: 3 - 2

Now, I'm not trying to slam or embarrass Michael in any way. There are lots of Michaels out there who play for the love of the game, but never really have the time to practice or learn all the cards like the more serious players do. And as you will see, I'm in the same boat that he is.

Oh, you're back. Well, maybe I should leave foreshadowing to better writers than myself.

Anyway, Michael and I shake hands and wish each other good luck. But I must confess that I am an evil man at heart and couldn't resist telling my fellow Rougher Country brethren the story of:

"The Man Who Hard-Casts Circular Logic While Price of Glory Was In Play."

Coming soon to a theater near you.

Match Six
Opponent: Zachary Lindahl
Deck Type: Mono Black Control
Type of Guy: A big drink of water from Stevenson, Texas. He's bringing mono black and possibly hell with him to the table.

Game One
I start the festivities by mulliganing to five and keeping a one-land hand. Yee frickin' ha. Fortunately for me, I hit four land draws in a row. Zach takes an early Lightning Surge, but responds with two consecutive Corrupts to my noggin for four, bringing his life total up to twenty four.

Although I'm sitting at twelve life, all those sorceries in the graveyard add up to bad news for Zach as I cast a fired up Maggie for 9/9. He takes one hit from it before casting an Edict. Meanwhile, I get the draws of a lifetime and cast and flashback Firebolt in the same turn, brining him down to eleven life. Feeling a bit groovy, I then flashback the Lightning Surge at threshold and finish him off with a five-point Earthquake.

Man, I love this game!

Sideboard
- 4 Innocent Blood
+ 4 Duress

Game Two
Going first is Zach's only joy as I keep destroying his lands. Pretty soon, his side of the table is empty and I get a Maggie out for 7/7. After taking two hits from it, Zach decides that he's had enough of that and plays Swamp, Innocent Blood.

I nod, and then play a six-point Earthquake that ends the game.

Games: 9 - 4
Matches: 4 - 2

Whew; that went pretty fast. Whatever you can say about my LD deck, it appears to do quite well against MBC. In fact, I was so proud of the results after this match that I boasted to my pards:

"If I play mono black the rest of the tourney, I'll finish 8 'n 2!"

Hmm, wasn't it some wise guy who said,"Be careful what you wish for?" or something like that?

Maybe it was Gary Wise?

Match Seven
Opponent: Andy Leach
Deck Type: Mono Black Control (two in a row, what are the odds?)
Type of Guy: He has that look. That look of someone born with cards in his hand. That's not a good look for me.

Andy seems a bit nervous around me. I don't really know why. I am older than most of the players here, and I've started to develop a"Dad" face. A"Dad" face is something that is used to scare the bajeebers out of salesman, waitresses, car mechanics - and yes, children if necessary. When an order doesn't go right or the bill is higher than you expected, a"Dad" face can, if used properly, get you instant respect and better service. I know, 'cause my Dad is the master of it.

Anyway.

Game One
I start with two Maggies, one swamp, two mountains, and a Pillage."I'll keep." turned out to be the only positive words I spoke during this game. Andy plants an Undead Gladiator and swings twice, brining me down to fourteen. I manage to pull an Innocent Blood, which temporarily puts the Gladiator in the grave. I also draw a couple of Firebolts, and Andy is now at sixteen life.

But the one thing I couldn't draw was another land. Here I am holding two Maggies and I pull a third one, but I can't frickin' play them. Andy recovers from what little LD I aim at him to build up to six swamps and casts Mind Sludge.

Just wonderful.

Unlike my previous two mono black opponents, Andy has instants. Like Skeletal Scrying, which he cast for two, and Tainted Pact.

After that, I can't help but draw land. This does allow me to Earthquake both of us for four. Andy is rather nonplussed and replays his Gladiator, bringing me down to seven life. And since he just played his seventh swamp, Andy decides to end matters by aiming Corrupt at my dome.

Well, that was a nice wake-up call.

Sideboard
- 4 Innocent Blood
- 3 Befoul
+ 4 Duress
+ 3 Price of Glory

I'd hoped that the Glory would slow Andy down a bit since he was playing his instants at the end of my turn.

Notice that I used the word"hope."

Game Two
Going first allows me to cast Duress. I take his Tainted Pact. I had little time to jump up on the table and celebrate as Andy draws and casts his own Duress, taking my Lightning Surge. More fun ensues when I get out a Price of Glory on turn three. Andy's look is one of"Oh well." instead of"Dang it!" like I had hoped.

He gets a Nantuko Shade on the board and hits me three times for six, five, and two before I manage to Edict it.

But the game looks to be going my way as I plink with a Firebolt, then play a 4/4 Maggie. Andy takes one hit, then a bigger one as I destroy one of his swamps with Stone Rain. At nine life, Andy Edicts the Magnivore and plays his game winner: Haunting Echoes.

Well, there go most of my threats.

Not happy with his hand, Andy Scries for three (going to six life) for some more hurt. I play another Lightning Surge from my hand and get him down to two. That's all she wrote, though, as Andy hits me with a six-point Corrupt and casts another Nantuko Shade that swings for the victory.

We shake hands and I wish him luck. His brother (I'm guessing here 'cause I didn't ask - but he sure looked like a younger Andy) takes our picture and Andy is off to tell the tale of how he beat a land destruction deck.

Or so I hoped.

Games: 9 - 6
Matches: 4 - 3

Oh, like you thought that I could top sixteen with a B/R Land Destruction deck?

Well, for the first two rounds I thought I could.

Match Eight
Opponent: Nabriel Alawde (sic? I hope not, but my notes...)
Deck Type: G/W Beats
Type of Guy: A young, cocky type who probably feels screwed out of not having a better record.

Game One
After two MBC decks in a row, it's a relief to play something else. A shame that this pause does not refresh as Nabriel lands a Call of the Herd token before I get to play my third land. It stomps me twice before I kill it with a Blood. I manage to plink a few of his plains away before hitting the board with a 4/4 Maggie. And while my little beastie gets in one hit, Nabriel responds with a Birds of Paradise, a Llanowar Elves, and most importantly, Phantom Centaur. I'm forced to block once with Maggie, and then must Mutilate to clear the table.

However, Nabriel has made the wise choice of packing more than one Centaur - and sure enough, it hits the table pronto.

In response, I draw nothing but LD spells and scoop.

I showed him, huh?

Sideboard
- 2 Earthquake
- 1 Befoul
- 1 Rancid Earth
+ 4 Smother

Game Two
I get to go first. There; that's the most positive thing I can say about this game. Oh, and Nabriel takes a hit from using a fetchland. And I concentrate on getting rid of his plains with my LD... But that doesn't stop him from hard-casting a Glory. It lasts only two turns, thanks to my Edict. So he responds by playing a Llanowar Elf. For the next three turns, I draw nothing but LD, which takes care of his plains, but I also take three more hits, bringing my life total to fourteen.

"Why do you hate my plains so much?" Nabriel asks.

"Because they're there." I reply

In the meantime, a Guiltfeeder has so graciously appeared in my hand and I promptly cast it. I get through for three damage, but it's not enough as a Ravenous Baloth starts taking four a turn. I stemmed the tide once by blocking with the 'feeder, but that does little to discourage Nabriel. The Baloth keeps pounding and I keep drawing land cards.

Ten, six, two, I'm outta there!

Games: 9 - 8
Matches: 4 - 4

Eeep. Well, obviously I can't handle a fast deck. I could blame Abe for this - but since my build isn't as good as his, I decide that it won't hold up in court.

Well, maybe in California, but not any court near me.

Match Nine
Opponent: Festus Resendez
Deck Type: Mono Black Control (No! really?)
Type of Guy: A Texas A & M senior whose college highlight was watching his Aggies beat Oklahoma last season to deny OU a shot at the national championship.

I'm a lifelong Sooner fan. But Festus (what a great name!) is a really nice sort; it almost made up for him playing MBC. Man, did they have a sale on Torment around here or what?

Game One
I start pounding his land down, but not before he gets out a Withered Wretch! Oh, great; this will make my Maggie a pipsqueak is short order. The Wretch gets in two hits before I manage to ice it with an Edict. I destroy a few more of his swamps and get out a 5/5 Maggie. It hits once and I destroy the last of his land. Festus quickly scoops.

Sideboard:
- 3 Befoul
- 2 Mutilate
+ 4 Duress
+ 1 Smother

I can't explain my sideboarding very well, so I won't even try.

Game Two
This time, I get to mulligan to five and keep a one-mountain hand. Festus gets off to a better start and plants a Faceless Butcher and Ichorid. I respond by drawing more mountains and black spells... So in the interest of helping me out, I suppose, Festus hits me with a Persecute, naming black, and all but two cards go into my graveyard. I manage to cast a Firebolt to his noggin and follow up with a three-point Earthquake that clears the board.

But the Butcher/Ichorid combo has done its damage; Festus brings Ichorid out from his yard, then casts another Butcher to finish me off.

I drew no swamps during the entire game. And, after a quick check of the deck, it would've been five more turns before I drew one. That was not fun. But as it turned out, this was a hint of what was to follow.

Game Three
I start with a decent enough hand and quickly Firebolt Festus to the dome. He's not having any luck pulling land, though, and I keep the pressure on by eliminating every swamp he manages to place on the board.

After recasting Firebolt from the graveyard, I hit the table with an awesome 11/11 Maggie. It manages to get in one strike, bringing Festus down to five life before it succumbs to an Innocent Blood. I have the game in hand, so to speak, when something very frustrating happens.

I draw land.

Festus, who has to discard at the end of every turn because he's holding eight cards, manages to get out an Ichorid. Despite having no land in play, there are a few other critters in his yard and"Itchy" starts hitting me for three a turn.

I draw land.

Festus actually gets a couple of swamps to stick and casts a Wretch. I kill that off with a Blood, then Rancid Earth one of his swamps at threshold. Bringing Festus down to four life, while I'm sitting at seven.

I draw more land.

Save for the one Rancid Earth, I drew fourteen land. I cannot express the amount of frustration that I was feeling. All I needed was one frickin' burn spell - anything to finish Festus off. But it wasn't happening!

Being nobody's fool, Festus manages to get four swamps on the board, then he hard-casts an Ichorid and brings the other one out of his yard. I'm now at one life and I'm toast the next turn unless I draw something other than a land.

I pray.

I bring the card up from the deck without looking, like Mel Gibson did in the movie"Maverick." I pause for just a second, and then look:

Firebolt.

I let out an sigh, then cast the 'bolt for two and recast it from the graveyard for another two damage and the win.

I'm relieved, but now it's Festus' turn to be being frustrated. Three turns earlier, he forgot to bring Ichorid out from the yard to attack. Had he done so, the victory would've been his.

We shake hands more than once and congratulate each other for what must be the most exhausting game of the tourney.

Games: 11 - 9
Matches: 5 - 4

"Man, I hope I don't go through another match like that." I said aloud.

As it turned out, I didn't.

Match Ten
Opponent: Sean Horne
Deck Type: Astro-Glide or Astral Slide...Whatever.
Type of Guy: A rather matter-of-fact sort who seems pretty fresh considering that it's 10:30pm and we've been playing for ten hours straight.

Before the match, Sean offers me a conditional split - that is, we would play one game and the winner would split any pacts he would receive on a two-to-one ratio with the loser. This assumes that the winner would make it into the top 64. Since he's sitting in 81^st and I'm at 83^rd, I'm thinking that the chances of either of us jumping that high in the ranking are slim and none. And slim just left town.

So I pause a moment to consider his offer. Then I politely turn him down.

Somewhere, Rizzo is nodding in approval.

Sean takes my denial in stride and we shuffle up for game one.

Game One
Sean plays Mountain, Sean plays Plains. Oh great, he's playing Astro-Whatever. I get to three land and quickly start destroying his plains. At one point, Sean has to play Secluded Steppe as a land, but this doesn't slow his red mana machine down as two Lightning Rifts hit his side of the board.

After taking two damage from using fetchlands, Sean takes five more from my newly-cast Magnivore. But things are looking bleaker on my side as he cycles each turn, hitting me for at least two. My Maggie gets in one more strike, but that's all she wrote for me as Sean bumps up the damage to four a turn and I'm killed off in quick fashion.

"Well, aren't you glad we didn't settle on one game?" Sean asks

"Like the second game is going to be any different," I mutter.

"What did you say?"

"I said 'good luck to you'."

Sideboard
- 4 Innocent Blood
- 3 Stone Rain
+ 4 Duress
+ 3 Price of Glory

The Price was to slow him down, since he was cycling at the end of my turns.

Game Two
I get off to a decent start by planting a Price of Glory on turn 3. But this doesn't really phase Sean as he manages to keep his plains, thereby cycling Teroh's Faithful a couple of times before striking me with him. To show you how my luck ran this game, the Faithful hits me four times before I can Edict him away. Too bad Sean is now at thirty-six life.

I do get in a massive 11/11 Maggie and a Lightning Surge (at threshold, thank you) but it's not enough to stem the tide... Especially when two Lightning Rifts come into the fray. I'm cooked, lightly broiled in my own juices.

Games: 11 - 11
Matches: 5 - 5

Such symmetry in games and matches seems rather appropriate. Considering I went 3 - 4 last year before dropping, I could consider this an improvement.

Like going from a two-bit apartment to a three-bit duplex. But an improvement nonetheless.

Overall, I think this deck has promise and not that butter substitute, but an actual chance of being pretty decent. What's needed is more threats - like Haunting Echoes. Man, that would be a game breaker.

Oh well; maybe next time. Although next time, we won't be able to play most of these cards. Despite the late hour, I stick around for the announcement of the top 64. The Mad Hatter, whose still not wearing a hat, steps to the microphone.

"At number 64, Sean Horne!"

Yup, the same guy who offered to split with me gets to keep all six packs. And he's looking pretty excited about it. Well, why not? I didn't think either of us had a shot.

Somewhere, Rizzo is whistling while he's walking away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I quickly go to my room and crash. Six hours later I wake up and decide that an early trip back to Oklahoma is called for.

Although I still have half a tank in the car, I decide to gas up at a station next to the hotel. I put a few bucks worth in and I was just heading back to the driver's side when some guy approached me. He looked rather worried and was shaking a bit.

"Look, man, could you spare six bucks? I've got my wife and kids in the truck and we need gas money to get to Houston."

I look over his shoulder and sure enough there's a woman with at least two kids looking at me forlornly. Well, I guess he's telling the truth.

So I gave the stranger $10 and in response, he hugged me.

Glad I made someone's day.

Ken McElhaney

* - Don't worry, Chris; my shrine to you still stands proudly in my living room.