By the time everyone reads this, it will have been too late. The blackout has already placed either an image of impatient waiting or glorified hatred into the minds of everyone involved. All fifty million people along the East Coast are done listening to AM radio, they're finished waiting for the emcee to announce that power was being restored to the people listening and everyone's frugal attempt at hoarding ice and bottled water would be over. The announcement never arrived... And that Thursday night fused bodies to the floor as the humidity, accentuated by an abundance of candles, reached its breaking point. A group of people down the street were throwing a party by candlelight into the morning hours as Detroit rolled up its carpet and attempted to battle a heat and animosity that hasn't been seen since the riots of 1967.
No one slept that night. Each person secretly hoped that whoever was responsible for turning off the lights along the East Coast would be beaten and dragged down Woodward Avenue by a car. As tempers rose and miles of thirsty automobiles waited patiently for gas stations to open, I came across a very stunning discovery: I was in the same situation as Urza was when Mishra reneged on a meeting proposition and burned down Kayla Bin Kroog's home town of Yotia.
"Helpless to stop the madness occurring outside his window, Urza sat in his shop by candlelight, overlooking notes written down hastily on old parchment from times his own brother was his companion instead of his mortal enemy. At any point in time, the citizens of this state could revolt and wreak havoc on the ones interfering with their daily habits, but they choose to wisely stand aside and guard their own possessions and families with a vengeance."
- From the book"The Brother's War"
Obviously, I had some time to read books that I haven't read in years... But thanks to the darkness settling over a city that was one of the first cities in the world to have powered streetlamps, I picked up a few old favorites and dug in. Normally, in this type of situation, I would have played Magic - but with the Wife five months pregnant and the ten-month-old asking the television to"on peese," I was left with little choice.
Well, that and the Wife was already occupying my Game Boy.
So needless to say, I was caught by surprise when my wife asked me to play a few duels, since she quit Magic while Revised was mainstream and 4th Edition was going to be changing the way Magic was played. I accepted, naturally, grabbed my cards, and she grabbed her one mono-black hundred-card deck and we sat down to play at one in the morning. We laid out cards on the living room floor in the sweltering heat, with candles on the mantelpiece to illuminate the sleeping baby.
I've always had problems attempting to beat her deck, for a few reasons. One: she's a poor sport and depending on my mood, would rather let her win then attempt to live with the wrath of a mad Wife. Two: The deck is surprisingly good, for some reason which I'll never understand. She seems to just get whatever she needs when she needs it.
Whoa Nellie! (The Wife's Deck)
4x Dark Ritual
3x Warp Artifact
4x Blight
4x Cursed Land
4x Bad Moon
4x Royal Assassin
4x Sengir Vampire (She calls this"Sigourney Weaver")
4x Bog Wraith
4x Bog Imp
4x Bog Rats
2x Mox Jet (The Wife doesn't agree with Restricted cards... and of course, she's always right)
1x Black Lotus (You have to realize, she never bought single cards, only packs...)
4x Icy Manipulator
4x Will O' The Wisp
4x Nightmare
1x Lord of the Pit
4x Terror
4x Unholy Strength
4x Word of Binding
2x Uncle Istvan
4x Hypnotic Specter
3x Marsh Gas
2x Murk Dwellers
2x Fallen Angel
4x Vampire Bats
4x Lost Soul
1x Demonic Hordes
4x Demonic Tutor
41x Swamp
This is the deck I have to go against whenever we play since she won't play with any other deck than this one.... And it drives me nuts, since almost half of the cards in her deck are from Beta and she has never used sleeves and it shows. The entire deck is kind of warped into this wave-shaped stack, which I can only assume it being from sitting in a glove box for three years, where it stayed until she met me. The deck isn't fast at all, but she has enough hurt to really bring down some pain in the late game.
Given the state of the world at the current time and everything outside being pitch-black, I grabbed my mono-black deck, threw some updates (by flashlight) into it that I've been meaning to do and sat down to play.
Stress (My deck)
2x Nantuko Shade
4x Dark Ritual
4x Chainer's Edict
4x Innocent Blood
3x Haunting Echoes
4x Duress
4x Phyrexian Arena
2x Diabolic Tutor
1x Demonic Tutor
1x Vampiric Tutor
1x Necropotence
2x Mutilate
4x Corrupt
2x Soul Burn
4x Cabal Coffers
18x Swamp
Sideboard:
2x Defense Grid
2x Lethal Vapors
2x Fade from Memory
3x Kill Switch (Just to annoy those pesky TnT and Stax decks)
2x Stench of Evil
2x Infest
2x Diabolic Tutor
The baby stirs as The Wife shuffles her cards. Since mine are in all sleeves, I don't make any noise - but after a few grunts, she goes back to sleep and we start to play.
Game 1: Husband vs. Wife
She wins the die roll, plays a swamp, and says go. I take this as a good sign, since my deck pretty much takes a bit to go, but does have a few early-game tricks like Duress and possibly a Phyrexian Arena if I can get a Ritual early on.
I draw into a Cabal Coffers and play a swamp, playing Duress (which I happened to draw three of) and pluck an Unholy Strength while looking at her hand of one more swamp, a Hypnotic Specter, Bad Moon, two Word of Bindings, and a Warp Artifact. I smile and say"Go" while she sticks her bottom lip out in protest - but she knows she can't do anything about it.
Turn 2, she draws a Dark Ritual, taps the Swamp and the Ritual and out comes the Hypnotic. She plays the second land and says go, now smiling primarily because of the audible groan I made when she flipped the Ritual; I knew the Hypnotic was going to fly.
My turn comes around and I draw a swamp, which goes into play. I pick up the Hypnotic, looking at the power and toughness then looking at my hand of three swamps, a Nantuko Shade, a Haunting Echoes, and a Diabolic Tutor. I tap the two Swamps and drop Nantuko, to which she says,"Oh - it's the Frozen Shade poser, eh?" I say go and look at my hand, already hoping which card will be discarded when the Hypnotic attacks.
She draws, plays the Black Lotus, sacrifices it, taps the two Swamps and out comes Sigourney. I'm just wishing that I could get some creature removal or something next turn, or I might as well just quit now. She attacks with the Hypnotic, and I lose a Diabolic Tutor.
I draw a card, Phyrexian Arena, and play a Swamp and that. She looks at it, then looks at me kind of strangely and says,"Why would you want to play a Howling Mine that hurts you?" To which I say,"You don't get to draw an extra card - only me. Neener neener." I say go, not wanting my Nantuko to be Sigourney food, and she draws into a swamp.
She looks at her cards; I think she forgot that I already looked at her hand with the Duress and she's played just about everything that she's drawn, but I still don't know what she's waiting for. She ends up attacking me, bringing me down to twelve. That's fine; I'll be drawing two every turn. So I draw my two cards, take a point of damage, and look at my draw: Cabal Coffers and a Chainer's Edict. Obviously, the Coffers goes into play and I flip the Chainer's at her. She reads it, looks at me as though she could cut glass with her eyes, and loses the Hypnotic. She asks if I'm done yet - well, she more or less growls at me, actually. I say yes.
She draws, plays a swamp, and out comes the Bad Moon. She attacks for five with the Sigourney, and I go down to six life. I have to draw a control spell or it's game over for me. I end up drawing two swamps, and since her Vampire is tapped, I attack, tapping all my mana for a +6/+6 pump on the shade. She puts her life down to twelve and says,"Are you done yet?" I say yes, she draws a card and plays a swamp, then says,"go." I look at her sideways and ask if she's going to attack and I quickly get a,"Not while that idiot is out there hitting me for eight." I smile, knowing what I can do from the graveyard with seven mana in play, and draw my two cards and bring my life down to four.
I don't think she realized that she could have taken me out - but instead, she woke up to the Shade just sitting there. I end up with a Mutilate and a Vampiric Tutor, along with the swamp from the turn before. I drop the swamp, tap enough for flashback, and replay the Chainer's Edict.
Now she's mad. I knew I should have let her win, but that damn male X chromosome wouldn't let me wuss out of a decent matchup. With the Vampire gone, I use the last mana to pump up the Shade and bring him through, bringing her life down to nine.
She draws and plays a Royal Assassin, and says go.
Well, let's see here; I have a Mutilate I can use to wipe everything out, or I can just wait it out since most of my damage will be from the Corrupts and Soul Burns, if I wish to go get one with the Vampiric Tutor, or I can see if she'll attempt to block the Shade and take out the Royal Assassin. I vote against the Tutor, since I'd be down to one life after the Phyrexian Arena damage hits me, so I just draw my two cards, go down to two life, and play the Cabal Coffers that I just drew, holding onto the Innocent Blood. I debate attacking and decide to just use the Innocent Blood, since they'll both eventually die anyway. I say go, hoping I get a Soul Burn or a Corrupt the next turn, or else I'll end up killing myself.
She draws a swamp, taps everything, and lays out Icy Manipulator and Hypnotic Specter. Oh great; now I have a reason to use my Mutilate. My turn, I go down to one life and draw my two cards; a Chainer's Edict and my Necropotence. Not going to play Necropotence, but I can play the Chainer's to get rid of the Hypnotic. But I need to do something else to keep myself from dying next turn. There's nothing I can do, so I just scoop up the cards and start reshuffling.
The Wife is winning! This cannot be happening. I'm starting to wonder why I play this bloody game at all.
I sideboard in two Lethal Vapors and two Infests, removing two Nantuko Shades and two Haunting Echoes. I figure any creature on my part would be silly and the Haunting Echoes doesn't work against a deck with more cards then the entire set of Legends, so it doesn't matter if it runs or not.
Game 2 Husband vs. Wife 0-1
I drop a Swamp, a Dark Ritual, and then a Phyrexian Arena. She groans and I say go. She draws, plays a Swamp, and casts out a Vampire Bat.
I untap, draw two cards, go down to nineteen, play a swamp and say go. She draws a card, plays a swamp and a Mox Jet, and casts Hypnotic Specter. I ask her if she wants to attack with the Vampire Bat - and she throws the card box at me in response.
I draw two cards, go down to eighteen, play a Cabal Coffers, and tap two Swamps for Chainer's Edict. She sacrifices the Vampire Bats, untaps, and draws a card. She plays a swamp, and out comes Bog Wraith.
I lose a card thanks to the Hypnotic Specter, but she doesn't touch the Lethal Vapors. I draw my two cards, bringing my life total down to fifteen, and drop a swamp and Vapors - which I know I'm immediately in the doghouse for playing. If I can get one more land out, the Mutilate I'm holding will do nicely for her barrage of Vintage Creatures.
She draws, plays a Bad Moon, and attacks with everything. I'm left with a Vampiric Tutor in my hand and my life's now down to eight. I draw my two cards, take my life to seven, and realize that I need to kill at least one of her creatures, but only have a Vampiric Tutor, Infest, and Duress in my hand. She can come through for seven.
I say"good game" and then notice that the baby is starting to sweat and get obviously uncomfortable, so we decided to play more later on after we drive the baby around the side streets in the air-conditioned car to make her more relaxed.
0-2 Wife Wins!
The moral here is that we didn't sit around moping because there was nothing to do - we did something that we haven't done in a long time. I know you guys out there are saying that there are other things to do in a situation like that, and I agree - I think they'll be a pretty big baby boom come May of next year - but as for me and The Wife, we connected in a way that we haven't since we first met.
The power outage may have turned everyone's power and water off, but it did open the eyes of many things forgotten.
Hic Tallant
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