A local Grand Prix right here in Seattle? And it feeds an American Pro Tour with the new payout structure? Where do I sign up?
Being a primarily control player who has been informed - perhaps prematurely - that Psychatog is no long good, I ran Scepter-Chant in the last PTQ. The deck was great, but I found that if I don't get the combo, I can just lose to boarded-in Phyrexian Negators or Vialed-out Siege-Gang Commanders. Enter the Scepter-Confinement deck from GP: Eindhoven, now with Dual-Lock Action! No targeting and no damage? And I get to cause rules nightmares for the judges by playing Humility? Where do I sign up?
Scepter-Confinement
4 Adarkar Wastes
4 Flooded Strand
2 Shivan Reef
1 Reflecting Pool
4 Plains
6 Island
1 Eternal Dragon
3 Squee, Goblin Nabob
1 Masticore
2 Chrome Mox
3 Orim's Chant
3 Solitary Confinement
3 Compulsion
4 Isochron Scepter
3 Fire / Ice
4 Counterspell
3 Cunning Wish
2 Enlightened Tutor
1 Humility
4 Brainstorm
2 Intuition
Sideboard:
1 Orim's Chant
1 Enlightened Tutor
1 Forbid
1 Intuition
1 Stifle
1 Fire/Ice
1 Stroke of Genius
1 Disenchant
1 Echoing Truth
1 Misdirection
1 Arcane Laboratory
1 Energy Flux
2 Exalted Angel
In the main deck, I swapped the Skycloud Expanse for a Reflecting Pool, to allow a painless source of Red mana. I also swapped the Arcane Lab for Masticore to help against aggro and to have another victory condition. At the advice Jeremy Virden (another Confinement player), I added an Eternal Dragon. I chose to cut a Chrome Mox for it, since I found the acceleration wasn't worth a card as often in this deck as it is in straight Scepter-Chant.
I have two byes, thanks to winning that two-bye trial known as States (i.e., my rating is over 1900). During the byes I get some food and play a few test games against Noah Sandler. He's playing Red Deck Wins... with four maindeck Naturalize. I am wrecked utterly during our practice games and lose all confidence in my deck. What was I thinking, entering a two-day tournament with this mind-dulling set of cards? I keep drawing up ugly hands like 3 land, Chrome Mox, Orim's Chant, Squee, Fire/Ice. Too late to change now...
Round 3 vs Brady Boychuck (Red Deck Wins)
In the first game I played a turn 4 Scepter on Fire/Ice. He has a Pillage, but I get one use out of it. I'm forced to play a Humility, just to make his Jackal Pup deal 1 a turn instead of 2. This gives me enough time to drop Solitary Confinement and look for a Squee with Compulsion. The little goblin eludes me, so I am forced to continue the lock by returning and discarding Eternal Dragon. To my great relief, my opponent concedes. In hindsight I suppose he probably could have used his other Pillages to get out of the lock by destroying my lands, if he had enough.
Game 2 I double mulligan and take some beats. On turn 2, he plays two Cursed Scrolls, and ramps up to six mana. I have to put a Disenchant on a Scepter just to deal with those. Then at four life, I get my Solitary Confinement out, with an Intuition in hand to get two Squees and an Eternal Dragon. I have no way to draw cards, but this time I could if necessary bring back the Dragon to kill my opponent. It turns out he has no way to break the lock and so he immediately scoops.
Mono-Red RDW... so much better for me than the version with Naturalize! However, Noah went on to be paired against the artifact-light Reanimator several times and was soon out of contention. Let that be a lesson to those who have too much main deck hate.
3-0
Round 4 vs Dave Humpherys (Reanimator)
In the first game, Dave takes apart my hand with multiple Duresses and Cabal Therapies. Lucky for me, I draw running Counterspells to stop his Reanimate. I play a Scepter on Fire/Ice, and he Echoing Truths it. Eventually he gets Akroma out and swings for 12. At this point, I drop the Confinement with Squee. Dave takes a couple of turns, casts a main phase Vampiric Tutor, and then concedes. True to form, each of his turns took a long time, so there is not a great deal of time left over in the round.
In the second game, I once again mulligan to five cards. My only play is a Meddling Mage. I consider putting on Therapy, but my hand is so crappy I instead just name Echoing Truth and hope I can set up a lock later. Dave answers back with a Negator and takes a big swing out of my life total. I Intuition for Squees and am forced to drop the Confinement lock with no way to draw cards. The last card I drew was a Counterspell, so I figure if he only has one way out of the lock besides Echoing Truth that the Mage is blocking, then I should be good. Dave takes a bunch of turns, and then Reanimates one of my Squees. I get worried that he can break my lock by removing my Squees this way, though of course if he had tried to get a second one, they both would die due to the legend rule. This game goes to time and I win the match.
4-0
Round 5 vs Vincent Gronross (Goblins)
In game one I get the Confinement lock down when at six life, causing a forced decking.
In game 2 he plays a Karplusan Forest and I know he has Naturalize. Regardless, I am forced to play the lock and try to Compulsion and Ice into a way to defend it. I go through about six cards and finally get a Counterspell, but that same turn he gets the Naturalize and I don't have double Blue available yet.
Game three goes the same way, and I play the lock at 3 life. This time I have multiple counters as backup and am never in any danger. However, I'm not really finding a way to kill him, and I start to worry that the game is going to go to time and draw the match. I finally fine a Scepter for Fire/Ice, and start doing two a turn, taking my turns as quickly as possible. He casts roughly one billion Goblins and attacks senselessly with them every turn, but ultimately succumbs to the Fire with minutes on the clock.
5-0
Between rounds, I hatch a great plan with local player Beni Rose. Here's the thing: people have learned those crazy Japanese names for all the popular cards... Kokusho, Meloku, etc. But there are some you just forget about, especially crappier ones from the latest set. So the plan was to make up an imaginary Betrayers card, and then go try to trade for it. You'd go around and ask people, "Do you have a... Fumokuni? He's that legend guy, you know, oh there - go back a couple of pages, no wait, that's not him..." Then you'd go to the dealers around the room and start a few rumors about how Fumokuni is going to be the sleeper card in the new set, and it's too bad they don't have any because you'd be willing to pay like maybe ten bucks for one, and for a foil one, oh man. The idea would be to get the whole area buzzing about this card that doesn't exist, until somebody actually checks the spoiler. We didn't end up carrying out this plan, but it sounded great in theory.
Round 6 vs Stephen Barnett (Goblins)
Game 1 I win with a conventional Scepter-Chant lock. He has an Aether Vial out and doesn't concede, so I imagine that he plans to win with an eventual Siege-Gang Commander. I disabuse him of the notion by playing Humility and he packs it up.
In game 2, I make a huge mistake by playing my Masticore on turn 4 with no regeneration mana up. I figure that I need to take a chance, and if he uses a Naturalize then at least that's one less for my other stuff. Sure enough, he has the Naturalize, and a second one when I go for the lock, and I am unable to find a Counterspell in time.
In game 3 I play an early morphed Angel, with attacking capability next turn. Unfortunately, he has the nuts, dropping Warchief, random goblin, Piledriver and Piledriver on the next turn, and so I am forced to chump and still take 10. Things are still looking good when I put Fire/Ice on a stick and take out the Chief. He knocks me down to six, and then, reveals the last two cards in his hand to be Pyrostatic Pillar and another Pyrostatic Pillar. I look at the Disenchant in my hand and frown. My only out is to draw Solitary Confinement, and when I don't that's the match.
5-1
Round 7 vs Harry Durnan (Form of the Dragon)
I play a Shivan Reef, and Harry answers back with Caves of Koilos. He plays Cabal Therapy and I Brainstorm an Isochron Scepter on top of my library, keeping Chant in hand. He names Intuition and I drop the lock the next turn. Harry plays a Forbidden Orchard and says go. Next turn he concedes in the face of infinite Chanting.
At this point I have no idea what deck he's playing.
On the second game, I run my special mulligan to five action, keeping a very sketchy hand. Harry's draw is amazing, playing a turn 1 Meddling Mage (off Mox Diamond), turn 2 Academy Rector (off City of Traitors), then turn 3 Phyrexian Tower to turn the Rector into Form of the Dragon. At eight life, I draw Enlightened Tutor. The dragon knocks me to three, and Harry plays a Mesmeric Fiend. In response Ice his Meddling Mage so that it can't attack, sacrifice my Flooded Strand (going to 2), and Enlightened Tutor for Solitary Confinement.
Fun fact: Form of the Dragon's 5-damage ability is not optional! So although I don't have the lock, what I do have is enough cards so that Harry is forced to kill all of his creatures and then himself with Form of the Dragon! When he slumps in his chair after casting Brainstorm, I know it's over. That has got to be the strangest way I've ever won a game of Magic...
6-1
Round 8 vs Allen Jackson (Psychatog)
We discuss the possibility of a draw, but it makes sense to play since whoever loses will probably make the cut anyway. I have a huge advantage in the early game: while he is discarding with three lands, I am running Compulsion with Squee. Despite my infinite card advantage, I really don't have many good spells to play. In addition, ten hours of playing Magic and not eating are taking their toll. At a critical turn, I carelessly tap too low on mana, and Allen manages to slip a lethal Tog through with exactly enough damage.
In game two, I keep a one-land hand with Eternal Dragon, Squee, and Compulsion. Allen takes a mulligan. I fail to draw a second land for four turns, but Allen gets stuck at two lands. When I do get my second land, I can get my card advantage engine going. This time, I dole out a few little threats... a Masticore here, a Scepter there. Allen makes a nice play where he Mana Leaks my spell, and then Stifles my sac-land when I go to pay. I wish for a Forbid to go with my double Squee, although its usefulness is impaired by my lack of mana. A scary-looking Tog arrives on the table, but my returning shot of Humility goes uncountered. The Tog then meets an ignominious demise from half of a Fire.
At this point Allen has Cunning Wished for Stroke of Genius, and I figure he must be looking to reload. After I tap down to just one mana to get a Scepter into play, he runs the Stroke on his main phase for four cards, with just one card and one mana remaining. However, I have sided in Misdirection, swinging the whole game when his Stroke sets me up with two more Counterspells. My Fire-Scepter and a Squee can go the distance.
At this point there are just two minutes left in the round, and so we go ahead and call it a draw.
6-1-1, leaving me in 28th place going into Day 2
Before leaving my home on Day 2, I printed out the names of the Top 64 and started trying to figure out what decks everyone was playing. This project was taken over by Tom Worth, who deserves major props for supplying the Northwest players with matchup information each round.
Round 9 vs Owen Sullivan (Psychatog)
In the early game we jostle back and forth with card drawing spells and counters. I Intuition up some Squees and begin the beats. Squee goes the full distance. There's not enough time for a game two, so I take the match.
7-1-1
Round 10 vs Brad Taulbee (Psychatog)
Great, now that I have a draw, it seems I'm in the Psychatog bracket. In the early game things are looking good, but I have to tap out to get my Scepter with Fire/Ice imprinted. Brad has the Engineered Explosives to take it out, and my Compulsion as well. Ouch.
I'm backpedaling at this point. He plays a Tog. I want to make an infinite blocker with Squee, but I have no Red mana. I have an Intuition, but there are only two Red sources in the deck. So I Intuition for two Compulsions and a Shivan Reef, since Compulsion is pretty intimidating when I have Squee, and might help me dig for a Tog answer. Brad gives me the Reef, so I play it and put the Goblin Nabob into play in preparation for major blocking. Brad allows himself a small chuckle at my cleverness before upping the ante with a second Tog. I counter, and he counters back. This leaves him tapped out, so I drop the Humility. Unfortunately, he has had too much card advantage for me to handle, and soon shows a main deck Echoing Truth. Free of the Humilty, his Togs find themselves to be quite ravenous.
In the second game, I cast an Intuition, and Brad is unimpressed by my selection of two Squees and an Eternal Dragon. Until I imprint one on a Chrome Mox, so that I can play and beat down with the other one! Late in the game, the Eternal Dragon comes back to deliver five points of beatings before being Echoing Truthed. Brad searches for an answer with Brainstorm, which is tragically countered by his own Chalice of the Void. At one life, Brad finally finds a Tog to block with, but I finish Squee's work with a Fire/Ice to the head. There is barely any time left in the round, so I get yet another draw.
7-1-2
Round 11 vs Dan Hanson (Goblins)
This round I'm paired up against Dan Hanson at 9-2. I ask Dan how we're not a feature match, since it's between the current and last year's Washington State Champions. I guess there's no respect for the locals.
We tested the matchup before the tournament, so I know that Dan has no outs to Confinement, however his extra mana disruption of Ports and Wastelands make it hard for me to get the lock set up. Fortunately in game one I get the Confinement-Squee at a healthy 10 life to take game 1. Dan starts off hot in game two with a one-drop (Vial or Fanatic), and turn 2 Pyrostatic Pillar. I answer back with a turn 2 Confinement lock off of a Chrome Mox.
8-1-2
Round 12 vs Kyle Jefferson (Psychatog)
Good lord, my fourth Psychatog match in five consecutive rounds... what a nightmare!
My draw in the first game is terrible. I can't find land, or spells that do things. My fault for playing a wacky deck, I guess. Just when I think I'm starting to get in the game, Kyle gets off the old school Upheaval-Tog combo. I have to give Kyle major props for main-decking a six mana sorcery in this field of Goblins and fast combo decks.
In the second game I get a turn 2 Scepter on Counterspell. This makes it very hard for Kyle to get any sort of advantage in the game. Later, I back it up with a Scepter on Orim's Chant, which is very handy in counter wars. One Squee is in the red zone and another is making frequent trips through a Compulsion, but time is short so I bring out an Exalted Angel to speed things along. At the end I'm making all kinds of mistakes as I rush to finish in time, but my I pull through in extra turns.
This third draw means that I've busted through the other side of the draw bracket! Hopefully now I can play against some Aggro decks.
8-1-3 (effectively 9-3)
Round 13 vs Danny Flanagan (Goblins)
Danny is quite a character, known locally as the Jolly Pimp, and I won't go into the details on that. Like me, he's beating down with Goblins today, except that his are not 1/1 and legendary.
In the first game, I run my standard plan: take a bunch of damage, then drop Confinement. I show him a Squee, and he comes to appreciate the futility of his Red spells.
In the second game I mulligan a hand with five land and an Eternal Dragon. My six-card hand has zero lands. The five-card hand also has no land. When the first card of my four card hand is a Flooded Strand, I announce that I am keeping. Danny drops a turn 1 Aether Vial, just like 90% of all the games I've played against Goblins. I play my Strand and say go. A couple of turns later, I'm think I might be in this, as I have the Confinement in hand and am facing down a lone Mogg Fanatic. I could drop Confinement, but I would have to Ice into a land AND have Danny be playing no Wastelands in order to keep the lock via Eternal Dragon. So instead I say go. Danny untaps and attacks for 19.
Okay, game three. Again, I'm facing a turn 1 Aether Vial. I drop a Scepter on Fire/Ice on turn 2. Then on turn 3 I peel the Confinement with Squee in hand for the full lock (and even card drawing via Ice). Danny has no outs and concedes.
Six hours later, I witnessed the inestimable DanFlan drown his Confinement sorrows and celebrate his money finish by drinking five Long Island Iced Teas in under fifteen minutes, each consumed in a single slurp. With the sixth Long Island Iced Tea on the stack, some members of our group conspired with the waiter to have him cut off even before the appetizers have arrived. This was probably for the best, because once the alcoholic triggered ability finally resolved, he was alternating between almost flipping the table over and taking a nap on my shoulder. Never a dull moment when Danny's around. Scary perhaps, but not dull.
9-1-3
Round 14 vs Ernie Marchesano (Rock)
This final round will decide who makes Top 8 and who ends up in top 32. Not my best matchup, and taking a mulligan to start doesn't help. In the opening turns, Ernie casts all four of his Cabal Therapies, flashes back two of them, casts Cranial Extraction twice to remove all my Scepters and Fire/Ices, and, showing that he is nothing if not thorough, Deeds away my Scepter with Fire/Ice imprinted on it. Oh, and by the way, this all occurs before I can draw my third land, despite multiple Brainstorms and Ices. Is it fair that my opponent draws twice as many Therapies as I draw lands? I finally do draw some land, but now I'm facing down two Treetop Villages, and infinite Eternal Witnesses for Deed, Extraction, or Therapy via Volrath's Stronghold. Also, my main remaining win condition, the Masticore, is sitting dead in the graveyard thanks to some guy Chainer and his silly edicts.
This predicament would have most players reaching into their knapsack for a bottle of "Sprite," if you catch my meaning, but I trooped on. Ernie chose not to get his Deed with Witness, so I still had outs. First, I cast Enlightened Tutor for Humility, to slow the beats and stop the Eternal Witness nonsense. Ernie knocks me down to 1, and I Intuition for two Squee and an Eternal Dragon. I feed the Dragon to my Compulsion and finally draw a Cunning Wish.
OK, it's thinking time. Ernie is a 3 life from his pain lands and Vampiric Tutors. So Wishing for Fire/Ice will almost but not quite finish it. I could kill two of his creatures with Fire, but I will die to the third one. I could also play Squee as a blocker, but I only have one pain-free source of Red mana (Reflecting Pool). Eventually I conclude that the play is to Cunning Wish for Enlightened Tutor, Tutor up a Confinement, draw it into my hand with Brainstorm, and cast it. Then he just has to not draw his last Deed or two for a couple of turns until I can find a Counterspell through Compulsion-Squee, meanwhile attacking with my other Squee so that he has to start chumping. The only problem with this plan is that I'm one mana short, so I'll have to get lucky and hit a land off the Brainstorm. However, if you've been following the trend in this game, luck is not having anything to do with me this round, and I whiff on the Brainstorm and die.
In the second game I am cursed with another sketchy hand. I have to try for the turn 2 Scepter, but he has the Naturalize. So I try for a turn 3 Angel, and he has the Deed. Who is this guy? From there I can't seem to draw anything and Ernie takes it down, sliding into the top eight as the eighth seed. His hot streak continues where I witnessed him once again get infinite Cabal Therapies against the control deck in the finals and take down the whole GP.
I finished off in 23rd place, good enough for some money, but a little disappointing after being so close to Top 8.
After the GP, I hung out for a bit and watched the end of the PTQ and Summer Magic tournament. The latter was a single-elimination Standard tournament where the Top 8 each get a Mana Crypt, and the winner gets a pack of Summer Magic. Estimated to be worth hundreds or even a thousand dollars, this single pack of cards is fundamentally no different from a Revised pack, but with a 1994 Copyright date and darker colors. As it turned out, there was a dealer present who was willing to pay TWO THOUSAND dollars for this single pack of cards, and so the two finalists decided to split the cash and call it a day. Now maybe a sealed pack is somehow more valuable than, let's say, the Jandor's Saddlebags you're likely to find inside... but no, this guy actually planned on opening it! Insanity!
In the PTQ Top 8, I saw Jason Adams playing a rather unusual Affinity deck that he had borrowed at the last minute before the tournament. The deck had main deck Vampiric Tutor... not because it had any silver bullets, but just as Ravagers 5 and 6, I guess. The real kicker was the sideboard, which included, of all things, Energy Flux! I can only imagine that this is intended for the mirror match, but how exactly I'm not sure. Jason explained, "The guy told me it's like Smokestack, see, because, uhhhh... they get to screw up first, and then you outplay them or something." Right.
While walking around the site, I found an empty Italian Legends wrapper lying on a table. I put fifteen cards in it and speculated with Sean Rohan whether we could convince anyone that it was real. See, I just come up with these ideas... I'm not the kind of person who would actually implement them. Sean is that kind of person, however, and he passed a good while watching as various people (including a GP Winner from another recent event) walked by:
Phase 1: Obliviousness
(Victim is walking around, thinking to himself.) Dum de dum... I wonder if Energy Flux would be any good in the Affinity mirror... hmmm...
Phase 2: Surprise
What's this? (Hands to the head.) A Legends booster?? Just sitting on this table?
Phase 3: Conniving
(Furtive glances to the left and right.) It's just sitting here... no one would notice if I...
Phase 4: Hope
(The pack is picked up.) Wait... it looks like it has already been opened... but there are still cards in here...
Phase 5: Disappointment
(The cards are slowly turned over.) Quillmane Baku?! What the...
Phase 6: Shame and disgust
(Victim becomes aware of Sean and Danny sitting a few tables over, laughing uproariously and slapping their legs.) &*@?!...
Eventually it all wound down and we went to the Cheesecake Factory. It's unfortunate that no Seattle players made Top 8 (three were in contention in the last round), but all in all good times were had.
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