When I saw this week’s Casual Challenge to tell about your funniest win ever, I knew I had to enter.

It starts in a dimly-lit room with five men sitting around the table waiting for the game to finish. I look at the board, see the table, and nod. Cody says, "all in." I knew this was my chance and I call, pushing in over half my stack. Cody shows pocket fives, and it is only then I remember something important I forgot to do: Look at my cards. I flip over seven-four off suit and let out the cockiest phrase I ever uttered: “Cody, you are going to be demoralized by the end of this hand.”

Cody responds with a simple phrase to remind me that too much BS is hazardous for your health. The dealer lays down the flop, and it seems like I may have just cost myself fifty bucks. Queen. Ten. Six. They sit on the table, omens of doom. The Turn comes and goes with little notice. A ten doesn’t help me much. The room seems to breathe deep in anticipation of the river. Before the dealer can show me my defeat, Cody has one last remark: “Going to remember to look at your cards before you call next time?” The river finally rushes in. The room gasps. I let out the biggest laugh. Ever.

Queen on the river makes the community two pair supreme. Only problem is, this hand is no draw. A kicker of seven gives me the hand and the seventy bucks.

I jump up, joyous at the salvation of my stupidity. Cody just shakes his head and takes second place. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the funniest win ever.

Signing off,
Bogan.

Wait — this is a Magic website. Oh well; guess it's time to bust this tale out.

One day I was chilling in #mtgjudge on good old efnet when someone asks whether a “combo” works. Many a level two and three judge said "yes," and my infatuation about it grew. Letting you in on the combo might be a good idea — so without further ado.

A player has March of Machines, Mirror Golem (imprinting something other than a creature), and Isochron Scepter (imprint doesn’t matter) in play, not to mention ample mana sources. In the graveyard is Searing Wind. In the hand is Vesuvan Doppelganger. The player casts the Doppelganger, takes the form of Mirror Golem, and eats the Searing Wind. At the beginning of the player’s next upkeep, the Vesuvan’s ability to change shape triggers and resolves, having it become Isochron Scepter. You then can tap the Vesuvan, pay two mana, and Searing Wind.

Yes, it really is both long-winded and pointless.

So I wanted a chance to put it to the test in Legacy, since I figure I might be able to luck my way into it against some underpowered deck. I also figured that anyone running a deck that would let me get the combo off would probably have a sense of humor about it.

I have some figuring problems.

So when the local store had a free Legacy tournament with unlimited proxies, I decided to show off the monstrosity.

Breaking Wind
4 Goblin Welder
3 Mirror Golem
3 Vesuvan Doppelganger
3 March of the Machines
2 Searing Wind
3 Isochron Scepter
4 Intuition
4 Accumulated Knowledge
4 Force of Will
4 Brainstorm
4 Chrome Mox
4 Polluted Delta
4 Volcanic Island
3 Ancient Tomb
1 City of Traitors
1 Mountain
4 Island
1 Great Furnace
2 Seat of the Synod
2 Darksteel Citadel

Sideboard:
4 Fire / Ice
1 Isochron Scepter
4 Counterspell
3 Hoodwink
3 Chill

After explaining the combo, almost everything should make sense. I built the deck around Intuition and Welder — since trying to do something obtuse and unique is great and all, but sometimes you just need to borrow from the mainstream to get something going. The deck uses Welder to get around that little problem of Mirror Golem’s six-mana casting cost. In Vintage you can use artifact mana and Mana Drain, but those luxuries aren’t present in Legacy.

The deck pretty much does nothing to the opponent, which is cause for alarm. I knew that would happen and wasn’t too surprised when I dropped five straight games. However, in game 2 against a Red Deck Wins variant, all Wind broke lose.

The game started with me pitching Welder to Intuition to a Mox so I could Chill. After a Brainstorm and a fetchland get me another Chill, the game looked grim for my opponent. Apparently, he had a few Red Elemental Blasts just waiting for his fifth turn to come online so he didn’t just scoop. And there was that whole "thinking my deck couldn’t pull a victory off of a toddler" thing.

Yes, he actually used those words. It was as if my deck felt the insult and kicked it into high gear.

So after Intuitioning out my AKs and imprinting one on of a Stick, I countered his first two REBs. All the while, he was slowly mocking me and tried to kill me by killing my Chills, I have the combo set up. I get out Mirror Golem, who happens to be nearly indestructible after eating a REB. I drop the Vesuvan and eat a Wind. Next turn, the March drops and he nukes the final Chill at the end of my turn. Things are looking grim as he Lightning Bolts the Scepter. In response I draw. After not finding any counter-magic, I play AK number four and hit three counters. I derail his burn and get my first Searing Wind off.

And then it hits me: I am so screwed. He is at four now thanks to Mirror Golem — but my goal was to kill him with the Wind. Any burn spell means doom. If was at that moment I realized that doing this “combo” with Time Stop is far more effective. However, he draws, scoops, and I think he lets out a tear. I ask him if it was the severe can of Whoop Ass I opened up that is making him cry and he said no.

He stacked his deck.

While winning with something completely horrible was a lot of fun, I can only imagine the horror the kid felt knowing he lost to that monstrosity while cheating. Seriously, that must be as bad as it can be without getting hit by a bus.

Spencer Bogan