Why Ninth Edition Will Suck (At Least For You)
by The Ferrett

I have two unique qualifications both of which allow me to tell you exactly why Abe Sargent's proposed "Abeth Edition" Core Set would be disastrous for the future of Magic... and why despite the fact that it would be a disaster Wizards may have to follow Abe's lead anyway.

But first let me show you a sketch from The League of Gentlemen. Do me a favor and read this as fast as you can as if someone was actually reading it out loud to you at a quick pace.

(SCENE: Mr. Best and Mike are attempting to play a game of cards with their friend Doc.)

Don’t you know any card games Doc?

Yes — whist knock-out whist rummy Pontoon...

Oh come on! Let’s have a game of Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!

I don’t know that one.

Oh everyone knows Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!

Well I don’t!

You do! It’s like a cross between Hoover and Eight Men Down!

Well I don’t know how to play those either!

It’s all right. We’ll just have to explain the rules to you then.

It’s very simple...

Jacks are worth ten kings are worth three —

— apart from one-eyed jacks which are wild cards —

— we’ll come to those in a minute —

— round one you get a hand of nine round two a hand of seven...

Now two’s a wild card —

— but we’ll come to those in a minute —

— Apart from diamonds which retain their face value —

— except the king of diamonds obviously.

Obviously! We play in sequence unless you can match a pair... or play a card in ascending or descending order.

And that’s a Go Johnny Go Go Go Go.

You stand up pick up all the cards on the table and shout “Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!

The winner is the man with the most tricks after fifteen hands...

You’ll pick up the rest as we play. Shall we say....a pound a round?

I’m not really sure how to start...

Well just put a card on the table.

Now obviously the point of this sketch is to show how ridiculous and annoying it is when people assume that a game is easy just because they know it. Even Poker a fairly tame game compared to Magic frequently intimidates people because they can't remember whether a straight beats a flush or whether either of them beat three-of-a-kind. I know more than a few people who've gone to Vegas and never played at the card tables because they didn't want to look like an idiot.

The problem with Abeth Edition is this: The new players are all Doc.

Abe is Mr. Best.

When Abe designed his set he playtested it with some friends to make sure it didn't break Standard (which is more than most people do)... but I can guarantee you that he didn't sit down with someone who'd never played Magic and said "Here are the cards. Build a deck." Because if he had he would have seen the problems with his set right away.

But I have. I have two teenaged daughters both of whom I've taught to play Magic on long card trips — which is my first qualification. I have taught Magic to intelligent people who know nothing about Magic.

And if say teaching my daughters isn't enough I also spent three years deciding which "Ask The Judge" questions should get published. It may come as a surprise to you but we publish maybe 40% of the questions that get sent in. The rest of the questions are so basic that they are frankly embarrassing to anyone with the slightest knowledge of the rules.

That's right: Despite the fact that we have a whole searchable archive and a Top Ten List Of Most-Asked Questions our noble judges still have to handle no-brainer questions like "Does my Black Knight die if my friend plays Wrath of God?" and "My friend Shocked my Frostling before I could sacrifice it. Is there a way to play that correctly so I can do the damage?"

The Core Set has three basic functions and the most important is — or should be — to introduce players to the game of Magic. Abe did a fine job for tuning his set to provide a reasonably-balanced Standard environment... but that's probably the least-important aspect of the set.

Having witnessed a number of first-time players trying to walk their way through a game I can tell you how complicated just the basic stuff is for them. Sure you have the "untap upkeep draw first main phase attack second main phase" engraved on your cerebellum... but new players can barely remember what an attack is let alone the several different steps of the attack phase. You know instinctively that the 2/1 means a two power and a one toughness but new players keep forgetting which is which. And how come you don't choose what creatures block your attackers?

All the things you take for granted are not clear to newbies. When can you cast an sorcery? What's the difference between a sacrifice and a destroy? And what happens if you block a 2/2 with a 1/1 and your opponent casts Giant Growth on the 1/1? What do these "land" cards do again and can I use them more than once?

The answers are all obvious... to you. You're hip-deep in this game and God bless you. Our site runs on people like you. But to a new player simply remembering that you can't block multiple creatures with one guy is high frickin' tech.

Flying. Blocking. Tapping. Life gaining. Double-mana symbols. That's all a hell of a lot to take in... and that's assuming that they get it right.

Here's the biggest bulletin you're likely to get today: Most of them don't.

Merely by coming to a site like this you are in the top 20% of all Magic players. Sure the difference between you and Kai Budde or Gabriel Nassif is gigantic... but most Magic people have a deck they play once or twice a month with pals and that's it. They don't go around trying to scope the metagame and they're certainly not motivated enough to read 4000-word articles about high-level Magic concepts on non-official sites in their spare time. If there's a rules dispute the best solution for them is not the right one but the one that gets them back to playing the game the quickest.

Statistically speaking by arriving at you are a freak. A good freak to be sure one who can mop the floor at most casual tables - but your zeal to learn more about the game puts you so head-and-shoulders over everyone else who doesn't come here that you can't even see it.

But once you start hanging out with other like-minded people even the casual guys your vision starts to narrow. Since these are the only people you see they must be the majority of people! Everyone must know Magic as well as we do!

And so you forget about the silent majority who just frickin' play.

These guys buy a few packs from the new set when it seems fun and don't have a collection of all the cards they need — in fact the idea of "buying cards to build a deck" is laughable to them because who takes this game that seriously? Most of these people have no clue that you can play tournaments professionally...

...and there are an awful lot of them. They don't show up here but to forget their very existence is a critical failure.

And confusing them is a bad bad idea. They'll accept the fact that the Advanced sets might have some weirdo cards they don't understand but if the beginner cards raise heated debates where the outcome of a game hinges upon it they'll quit. Why the heck would you want to play a game where it's not clear whether you lost or won?

And Abeth Edition is packed with cards that cause weird problems. First let's look at the protection ability which Abe threw in because it's not that difficult to understand. But if it's not that difficult to understand why were about 10% of our raw "Ask The Judge" questions about protection when I was in charge?

The reason Wizards leaves "protection from X" out of the main set is very simple: "protection from X" is not one but four mechanics wrapped up in a deceiving key word. The four mechanics are:

1. All damage dealt to the protected card by sources of that color is reduced to zero no matter where that damage came from.
2. You cannot target the card with any effects or cards of the protected color.
3. You cannot block a protected creature with a creature that is of the protected color.
4. You cannot enchant a creature with a card of the protected color.

Each of the first three mechanics if introduced today would be a keyworded mechanic... but thanks to the wonder of old templating "Protection from X" is a bundle of complex interactions.

And even that's not an accurate picture of everything "protection from X" does because it doesn't mention what protection can't do. It can't save you from global non-damage threats like Upheaval or Wrath of God. It can't save you from sacrifice effects either.

Now that's complicated enough for people reasonably familiar with the rules... but do you think that people who are struggling to remember that mana doesn't carry over from one phase to another are going to grok that you can block with a protected creature but you can't block a protected creature?

They can't. I've tried. I know it doesn't work. And the deeper problem with Abeth Edition is that it wants to have these complex interactions that a) actually matter and b) are just going to confuse the heck out of — and ultimately drive away — people who are just starting out.

Heck let's just traipse briefly through White to see some of the questions I know will come up:

  • Does Congregate count the number of creatures I have when I play it or when I'm done?
  • I Shocked my friend's Voice of All before it came into play so she can't attack me. Right?
  • Good thing my Absolute Grace cancels out my friend's Engineered Plague!
  • I Humbled my friend's critter and it had +1/+1 tokens so they went away right?
  • Tempest of Light. Does that touch my enchantments too?
  • I waited for my friend to pay the mana for my Ghostly Prison then tapped it with Master Decoy once he paid it. I've got a combo that can't be beaten!

This is not to say of course that the Core Set shouldn't be without rules questions — you're going to have to learn what the "all" part means in Tempest of Light sooner or later and Congregate's probably not a bad way to show people how you can do things in between announcement and resolution — but the thing that struck me about Abeth Edition is how much it was designed for people who already knew the rules. And that's a major problem for an entry set.

Plus there are other issues. Abe scorns the Rolling Stones/defender combo but the very reason these stupid mini-synergies are in the Core Set is because they're the first strategies — however bad they are — that people take. Yes it's stupid that people want all of the Lucky Charms ("Gain 1 life whenever you cast a (color) spell") in the set and it waters down the draft environment... but the point is that beginning players love lifegain and you have to let them play with it for awhile to find out how stupid it is. Likewise the Goblin King combos. Likewise the "Put four of each Circle of Protection" into a deck combo.

(Also there are some terrible ideas in there. I love Serrated Biskelion but I also remember trying to keep track of which counters were +1/+1 and which ones were -1/-1. And you're asking beginners to do this?)

It's not that I think Abe did a bad job — he set out to create a set that would create an interesting Standard environment and a good draft set and largely I think he succeeded. (Barring obvious ridiculousness like Show and Tell.) He just had the wrong priority.

...or did he?

I mentioned earlier that I had two qualifications that allow me to speak on the topic of the Core Set. The other qualification is that I have bought more boxes of Magic cards than most of you ever will in a lifetime because I used to be a buyer.

A "buyer" is the guy who decides what product goes on the shelf of your local store. Me? I worked for Waldenbooks for three years and in that time I chose all the computer books that went in every computer section in all 960 or so stores. I wrote these huge invoices for upwards of $250000 buying warehouses full of "Windows 95 for Dummies" and shipping 'em out.

And I bought the Magic cards.

Oh it was a nice job. I liked getting all the cards for free. But the biggest problem I had was that these cards were non-returnable and the buyer before me had decided that Waldenbooks' customer base — who tended to be shall we say simple — would absolutely go nuts for a simplified beginners' set.

So we bought tons of Portal which was gathering dust on our shelves.

Wizards came back a couple of years later and said "Wait. We made Portal too simple. It wasn't like Magic. Here's Portal 2 which will sell great guns!"

By the time I got there our shelves were choked with unsold boxes of both Portal 1 and Portal 2.

Wizards then came to me — the guy who could buy literally thousands of boxes — and said "Look Portal 1 and Portal 2 sucked the moose behind but we've learned our lesson. The new Core Set (or as some would call it Sixth Edition) is sure to be a bomb-tastic hit! It's where people begin! It'll sell by the boatload!"

I thought "Surely people will be interested in how to play this game!" And I bought heavily into 6th. And it did a little better than Portal which is to say that Firefly did a little better than Greg the Bunny.

In the end I was there by the time 7th Edition came a-knockin' and I reduced our sales forecasts to something like "60% of a normal expansion pack" and we sold about what we should have. But the lesson was clear for us Walden-folk:

The Core Sets don't sell.

I've heard tell (not officially just through rumors) that 8th Edition didn't do all that swell either despite the 10th Anniversary hoopla and the reasons are pretty obvious: If you're making a set that's simple enough for beginners you're not going to make it interesting to the advanced players who are your bread and butter.

The Core Set paradox is that it has to contain the "good" cards but they are by their very nature reprints. You can go for powerful reprints or interesting reprints in an attempt to get them to buy... but most people aren't willing to pony up almost four bucks for a pack of cards with only one or two new ones in it.

Sure maybe Saviors won't be the greatest set - but we can guarantee that you'll get at least thirteen cards you don't already own in the first pack you open. Ninth Edition? Not so much. The tag line might as well be "Yeah you already have it."

You can attempt to create a new Core set as Wizards did with Portal: Three Kingdoms... but the problem you run into there is that all of the simple mechanics have been done. You either say "Screw the beginners" and make the new cards interesting — in which case why not just make it a whole new expansion? — or you make them simple in which case you have a bunch of underpowered Asian-flavored cards that nobody halfway skilled wants to play with.

But here's the other paradox: If you don't have a Core Set that sells then people can't be introduced to it. Sure you can sell random packs of Betrayers but eventually some new kid's gonna have to learn it... and they don't all learn from their friends. You have to have some sort of set that introduces you to the game's mechanics on its own.

But since that Core Set is of little interest to the experienced players retailers don't want to sell it. And it's very hard to convince any major retailer "Yes this product doesn't sell that well but you need it." They look at raw numbers. That's it.*

In the end if the Core Sets cannot sell sufficient numbers Wizards may actually have to abandon their beginning players in order to keep their Core Sets on the shelves... which in turn makes it harder to sell future sets. If they keep their Core Sets simple and accessible then they get them into less retail outlets.

There was a rumor that 9th Edition will contain more of the "power" cards that people haven't seen in awhile — cards like Rancor Mox Diamond and Tradewind Rider — and while it turned out to be a Photoshop job in the end I wasn't as skeptical as I could have been simply because Wizards has to find a new way to market the Core Set every time. The last time it was the big 10th Edition Hoo-Hah and even that didn't send them flying off the shelves. What's 9th? Who knows?

I'm not sure how you fix the Core Set or even that you need to. It may be that Wizards is wise enough to look upon the slow sales of the Core Sets as a loss leader which I think may be the best course. But the Core Set is attempting to serve three masters at the same time — beginners Constructed and money — and that's a nearly-impossible task. Somewhere it's going to make someone unhappy — and in this case that person is Abe Sargent.

Signing off
The Ferrett
The Here Edits This Here Site Here Guy

* - Fortunately most games shop suck so much when it comes to competent retailing that they keep it on the shelves not because it sells but because they think they should have everything that comes out. Yay for stupmidity!